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    The Scotch Woman
    The Scotch Woman
    The Scotch Woman
    Ebook95 pages54 minutes

    The Scotch Woman

    By . Voltaire

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    About this ebook

    François-Marie Arouet wrote under the nom de plume of Voltaire, and produced works in almost every literary form, including plays, poems, novels, essays, and historical and scientific works. "I don't belong to the house, sir; but I spend most of my time in the coffee-room; write news, politics, and so forth, and am always ready to do an honest gentleman service. If you have any friend you want to have praised, or any enemy to be abused; any author you want to protect or to decry; 'tis but one guinea per paragraph: if you are desirous of cultivating any acquaintance for profit or pleasure, sir, I am your man."
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherWilder Publications, Inc.
    Release dateJun 10, 2015
    ISBN9781627557542
    The Scotch Woman
    Author

    . Voltaire

    Imprisoned in the Bastille at the age of twenty-three for a criminal libel against the Regent of France, François-Marie Arouet was freed in 1718 with a new name, Voltaire, and the completed manuscript of his first play, Oedipe, which became a huge hit on the Paris stage in the same year. For the rest of his long and dangerously eventful life, this cadaverous genius shone with uninterrupted brilliance as one of the most famous men in the world. Revered, and occasionally reviled, in the royal courts of Europe, his literary outpourings and fearless campaigning against the medieval injustices of church and state in the midst of the ‘Enlightenment’ did much to trigger the French Revolution and to formulate the present notions of democracy. But above all, Voltaire was an observer of the human condition, and his masterpiece Candide stands out as an astonishing testament to his unequalled insight into the way we were and probably always will be.

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      Book preview

      The Scotch Woman - . Voltaire

      The Scotch Woman

      Voltaire

      Translation by William F. Fleming

      Wilder Publications, Inc.

      Copyright © 2014

      All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever.

      Manufactured in the United States of America

      10   9   8   7   6   5   4   3   2   1

      ISBN 978-1-62755-754-2

      CONTENTS

      Dramatis Personæ

      Act I

      Act II

      Act III

      Act IV

      Act V

      The Scotch Woman

      Contents

      Dramatis Personæ

      Act I

      Act II

      Act III

      Act IV

      Act V

      Represented at Paris in 1760.

      Dramatis Personæ

      Mr. Fabrice, master of a Coffee-house.

      Miss Lindon, a Scotchwoman.

      Lord Montross, a Scotchman.

      Lord Murray.

      Polly, maid to Miss Lindon.

      Freeport, a Merchant of London.

      Wasp, a Writer.

      Lady Alton.

      Several English Gentlemen frequenting the Coffee-house, Servants, Messengers, &c.

      Voltaire dashed off this comedy in eight days, to ridicule Fréron, who had unfavorably criticised Candide. It was first published as by Hume, or Home, author of the tragedy Douglas.

      ACT I.

      SCENE I.

      Scene London.

      The scene represents a coffee-house, with apartments on the same floor on each side communicating with it.

      Wasp: [At one corner of the room reading the papers. Coffee, pen and ink, etc., on the table before him.] A plague on this vile news! here are places and pensions given to above twenty people, and nothing for me! a present of a hundred guineas to a subaltern for doing his duty! a great merit indeed! so much to the inventor of a machine to lessen the number of hands; so much to a pilot; so much settled on men of letters, but nothing for me! here’s another pension, and another—but the deuce a farthing for Wasp [he throws down the paper and walks about] and yet I have done the state some service; I have written more than any one man in England; I have raised the price of paper; and yet nothing is done for me: but I will be revenged on all those whom the world calls men of merit: I have got something already by speaking ill of others; and if I can but contrive to do them a real mischief, my fortune is made. I have praised fools, and calumniated every good quality and perfection of human nature, and yet can scarce live by it: in short, to be a great man, you must not be content with slander and destruction, but endeavor to be really hurtful. [To the master of the coffee-house.] Good morrow to you, Mr. Fabrice. Well, Mr. Fabrice, everybody’s affairs, I find, go well but mine; it is intolerable.

      Fabrice: Indeed, indeed, Mr. Wasp, you make yourself a great many enemies.

      Wasp: I believe I excite a little envy.

      Fabrice: On my soul I believe not; but rather a passion of a very different kind: to be free, for I have really a friendship for you, I am extremely concerned to hear people talk of you as they do: how do you contrive to be so universally hated?

      Wasp: It is because I have merit, Mr. Fabrice.

      Fabrice: That may possibly be; but you are the only person who ever told me so: they say you are a very ignorant fellow: but that is nothing; they say, moreover, that you are ill-natured and malicious; that gives me concern, as it must every honest man.

      Wasp: I assure you I have a good and tender heart. I do indeed now and then speak a little freely of the men; but for the women, Mr. Fabrice, I love them all, provided they are handsome. As a proof of it, I must absolutely insist on your introducing me to your amiable lodger, whom I have never yet been able to converse with.

      Fabrice: Upon honor, Mr. Wasp, that young lady will never do for you; for she never praises herself, or speaks ill of anybody else.

      Wasp: She speaks ill of nobody, because, I suppose, she knows nobody: are you not in love with her, Fabrice?

      Fabrice: Not I indeed, sir; she has something in her air so noble, that I dare not think of it—besides, her virtue—

      Wasp: [Laughing.] Ha! ha! ha! her virtue indeed!

      Fabrice: Why so merry, sir? think you there is no such thing as virtue?—but I hear a coach at the door, and yonder is a livery servant with a portmanteau in his hand; some lord coming to lodge with me, perhaps.

      Wasp: Be sure, my dear

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