The Moon When Water Freezes

1

Nick was putting on some clean gym socks when he saw the high school principal hand Coach Baldwin a white envelope. The two men had a quick conversation, which Nick couldn’t quite overhear, and then the principal looked directly at Nick, as if to say, there, now you’ve done it. Nick pulled on his left sock just as the principal walked out of the locker room. Nick hurriedly laced his basketball shoes, and picked up his gym bag, hoping secretly that the coach wouldn’t want to talk before the second half of the game started. Nick had a pretty good idea what was in the envelope, and what it would mean to him after the game was over, but just now he didn’t want to know about it before the second half of a big game. Just knowing that Coach Baldwin had read the note from the principal was making him nervous and ashamed already, and it was hard enough to play a game in front of the kids from school. Nick thought that it would be too much to talk to coach Baldwin, read the letter from the principal, and then come out and play basketball when the score was tied after a difficult first half. Maybe if Thermopolis High had been twenty points ahead Nick would have felt differently; but this way, with neither team having an advantage, Nick didn’t want anything coming between him and the game—between his teammates and the Indian kids on the Reservation team.

Almost breaking into a run, Nick hurried around a bunch of metal lockers, hearing some of his teammates shouting his name. Just as Nick banged through the double doors that led out to the court, he could see Coach Baldwin finish reading the note. When the doors swished shut, Nick didn’t look back. Quite simply, he ambled down to the end of the home team’s bench and sat down and began re-lacing his basketball shoes, and then pulled up his socks.

The air inside the gym was cold and smelled of sweat, and there was a dim yellowish glint given off by the overhead lights. A layer of dust had settled down on the wood court, and when Nick looked out over the in-bound lines, everything seemed to swim. He felt, suddenly, unsure of himself. On the other side of the court, the Reservation kids were already on the court or sitting on their bench, and a few were practicing their dribbles or making short passes to warm up for the second half. Two kids were getting long drinks of water from the fountain in one corner. While he sat alone, Nick took a mental inventory of the Reservation team, thinking first about Robert Toy, the stocky forward Nick had been guarding in the first half. Somehow, Nick had the feeling that Robert Toy was older than the other kids. He had broad shoulders and deep-set black eyes, and thick black hair that hung down his neck. When Robert Toy ran down the court he would talk to the kids from Thermopolis High, trash-talking them or making fun, no matter what was happening in the game. The constant chatter had bothered Nick at first, and then he kind of enjoyed it, especially when he began giving it back to Robert just a little. Nick felt good about his performance in the first half, but Robert had scored his points too.

The other Reservation kids were less intimidating than Robert. A fat kid nicknamed Watermelon played center, and though he was strong and tough, he wasn’t very fast, and tired easily going for rebounds and running the court. While he sat on the bench alone, Nick spotted a small guard named Roy, who was fast, but couldn’t dribble well, and made a lot of ball mistakes. Nick thought to himself that these three were the only ones he needed to worry about. They did all the scoring, made all the defensive plays, and got all the loose balls. Even though, he thought, the Reservation kids didn’t play polished ball, they were tough and scrappy, and went all-out.

Pretty soon Coach Baldwin and the rest of Thermopolis High junior varsity ran onto the court to some scattered applause. There were about seventy-five students in the bleachers, along with a few parents and teachers. Almost everybody in town was waiting for the varsity game about an hour from now. Even though not too many people showed up for the freshman games, Nick spotted his mom with her boyfriend Andy in the stands. Andy sometimes came to dinner at their house, but Nick didn’t know if he liked Andy or not. Seeing Andy in the stands with his mom made Nick unhappy just then for a reason he didn’t understand. It had been a long time since Nick had seen or heard from his dad, and Nick would have rather it was his dad in the stands than Andy. Nick closed his eyes and wished he was playing basketball on the moon, or somewhere adults didn’t count.

Now the Reservation kids were doing layups. Two Indian girls were trying to cheerlead on the sidelines, but there was nobody to cheer along with them, so they sort of clapped for each other. Nick ran onto the court with the rest of his team and began a shoot-around warm up drill. Then the half-time clock ran down to zero and Nick took up his forward position for the center toss. Robert Toy jogged over and immediately put his left shoe on top of Nick’s right toe. Nick maneuvered himself free, and looked over at Coach Baldwin who was talking to one of the referees, and wasn’t paying any attention to Nick. Nick could see the white envelope with the note inside laying on one of the team chairs right next to Coach Baldwin’s hand. Just before the ball toss, for a moment, Nick hoped that the note wasn’t what he knew it was, as if hoping it could make it true, and while he was lost in thought, the referee tossed up the basketball. Robert Toy had edged inside Nick and shoved him to one side, at the same time grabbing the ball as it came down from the tap. Nick swung wildly with one hand and knocked the ball out of bounds.

In the first ten minutes of the half, Thermopolis High edged ahead. First Alex Douglas, their pint-size off guard, made a flashy steal and streaked all the way down court to make a basket, and then turned and stole a sloppy in-bounds pass and laid it in. Now the team, Nick knew, was two baskets ahead, with the half barely underway. For another five minutes the teams traded mistakes, fouls and time outs, and then with much of the quarter gone, Nick took a nice rebound and tossed a long pass to Alex, who went down the right side. Alex was knocked down going for the bucket, but he got two foul shots and made them both. While Nick was at the key, he looked up into the stands and saw that Andy had edged close to his mom and had put his arm around her. He couldn’t take his eyes off his mom and Andy. Then Andy put his lips to his mom’s ear and gave it a quick kiss. It seemed to Nick that they were having a secret conversation right there in the gym, one that Nick couldn’t understand. Nick heard Alex’s foul shot swish through the cords.

Before the second free throw, the Reservation team called time out. Nick hustled to the sidelines and sat on the bench to rest. Even though sweat was pouring off him, Nick felt cold, thinking about his dad who had gone away to Alaska and never come back. He was supposed to be working on a pipeline or something, and the way Nick calculated it, his dad had been gone five years now. At first, when Nick asked his mom about his dad, she tried to divert his attention with other things, chores to do, homework, or something on TV. Way back then, Nick had been nine years old, and he had probably been easy to divert. Now, Nick wasn’t fooled anymore by these tricks his mom would dream up. He couldn’t be fooled by his dad’s absence. He could tell that his mom was hurt by all of it, and that she was sometimes depressed, because he could hear her crying at night when she was alone. Then, a year after Nick’s dad had left, Nick’s mom got a job as a state ranger at Thermopolis Hot Springs, taking care of the baths and grounds. That was when Nick knew his dad wasn’t coming back any time soon. The story that his dad was working on the pipeline to save money was just that, a story.

Nick sat on the bench during time out with the sweat on his skin becoming as cold as ice. Though he tried to keep his mind on the game, he was thinking about all those nights his mom had cried herself to sleep, probably thinking that Nick couldn’t hear. Every year that went by, it became harder and harder for Nick to remember his father, Jason, or what he looked like or sounded like, or how he smelled, or the way he ate his toast in the morning. The memory of his father haunted Nick, but it was a memory that was growing tinier with each passing year, especially because there were no letters or phone calls. It was also hard to keep his father alive in his head because his mom would never talk.

After the time out, Alex hit his second free throw and the game continued. Nick played two more minutes, then sat down and rested for two minutes while another player took his place. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t playing because the Reservation team had brought only six players, and they were getting pretty tired. Thermopolis had eight boys suited up, so they always had two or three fresh kids in the game at any one time. When Nick came into the game again, feeling fresh, he felt strong enough to take a rebound away from Watermelon and outlet a pass again to Alex, who passed back just as Nick cut across the key to score a layup. Without scoring, the teams exchanged two more possessions.

When the game was almost over, Nick got another easy rebound and decided to run the ball up court himself. He knew he couldn’t outrun Robert Toy, who was nearby, so he slowed his dribble and stuck to the sidelines. Robert Toy came across half court just behind Nick, and then elbowed Nick hard just under the left ribcage, right beside his heart. Nick gasped and felt the breath go out of him, but he tried to continue his dribble. Unfortunately, the ball caromed off his left thigh and went out of bounds. Nick heard the referee’s whistle, signaling the ball out of bounds off Nick.

Hey watch out paleface! Robert Toy laughed good-naturedly.

Nick stood still, right next to Robert Toy. The kid had a big wide grin on his face, and he was acting innocent for the benefit of the referee. Nick looked at Robert Toy, who shrugged and took the ball from the ref.

When the game started again, Nick ran down court and took up a defensive position on the right side of the key. There was a hollow ache under his heart where Robert Toy had elbowed him. He knew his team was ten points ahead with only a few minutes to play, and that they were probably going to win. Just for a moment, he allowed himself to look up into the stands while Robert Toy was dribbling the ball down court. He saw that Andy had disappeared, and that his mom was alone, and smiling at him.

There was a minute left when Nick grabbed another rebound and ran as fast as he could down court. He could sense Robert Toy just behind his left shoulder, with Watermelon lumbering down toward the center line, and all the other kids far behind as Nick continued the fast break. Ahead, Nick saw Alex Douglas, who was so tiny he moved around like a water bug on the court. Just then Nick made a bounce pass to Alex, who caught it in stride, as if in slow motion, and went up for an easy basket. Nick sighed deeply, sensing Robert Toy gaining ground on him over his shoulder.

Nick watched Alex’s lay in hover on the rim, and then fall in. There were some cheers from the stands. Alex jumped in the air and pounded his fists together, as if he had just made the winning basket in the NBA finals. Nick waited for Robert Toy to get right alongside him, and then whistled a solid elbow to Robert Toy’s chest, knocking the boy off balance. Almost at the same time, the buzzer sounded, ending the game.

Nick stood on the court for a long