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Football Fans*
Football Fans*
Football Fans*
Ebook52 pages50 minutes

Football Fans*

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The only thing that an average football fan loves more than rooting for their favorite team is rooting against the New England Patriots. Dynasties have always received an obscene amount of attention, and the New England Patriots are no exception. Due to the lunacy of the 24-hour news cycle, more people than ever before seem to be obsessed with hating the most successful team in the salary-cap era of the NFL. Follow renowned* author Ink Red Double through the years of Patriot dominance and cheating*, learn a little about the history of cheating in the NFL, and discover whether or not you are a true fan of sport.

LanguageEnglish
Release dateMay 11, 2015
ISBN9781311379603
Football Fans*

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    Book preview

    Football Fans* - Ink Red Double

    Football Fans*

    By Ink Red Double

    Published by Ink Red Double using Smashwords

    Copyright 2015 Ink Red Double

    Smashwords Edition, License Notes

    This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com or your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author

    It is February 2, 2015. I have spent the last two weeks hearing about how the cheatingest cheaters in Cheatmerica somehow sidled their way into their sixth Super Bowl by ingeniously deflating their footballs so as to allow their Hall of Fame Quarterback to throw harder (false), their receivers to catch easier (true for both teams, offense and defense #interception) and their running backs to fumble less often (three times in the Divisional game with Baltimore, all recovered).

    I have heard NFL legends whose records were about to be matched/broken by the New England Patriots tell long-winded and well-worded stories about the integrity of football in the NFL. I have heard those legends cast doubt upon the Patriots’ achievements, going so far as to request a public asterisk* to be placed upon their Championships. I have heard them refer to a ‘pattern of cheating’, even though the current cheating scandal known as Deflategate holds less than 2psi of weight. Those legends who actually believe that deflating footballs would make more of a difference than circumventing the NFL-sanctioned salary-cap, manipulating home-field advantages or using a ball-catching adhesive to improve performance.

    I have watched as nationally-followed and (until recently) somewhat respected Sports News Networks fumbled over one another in their attempts to pile the accusations on the Patriots before the others could get more clicks on their massive online content machines. I have watched as truly national publicly-viewed networks interrupted their politically skewed reports of various global wars with harsh analysis that once again the National Football League has proven, shockingly that their vast entertainment enterprise contains less honor than your average family of con-artists, prostitutes and bullies.

    I have watched a nation abandon all reason and logic to prove that greatness could only be a result of cheating, all while spitting their vitriol in what can only be described as a truly horrific and negative public forum a.k.a, the internet message boards, and all while each one of them support a franchise that seeks to do the same thing on an annual basis. I have gotten glares from senior citizens, whose only connection to the world exists in national news broadcasts, for wearing my colors in public.

    I have watched the world melt down in rage over something that entertains them for nine months a year.

    I am sick of it.

    That is the reason why I have decided to create a centralized logic machine that will trump whatever idiocy a true fan of the sport of football can expect to encounter. I will prove, without a doubt, that these current New England Patriots are the greatest franchise in the history of sport. And I will do it in such a way that when ‘controversy’ arises a true football fan such as yourself can point to this work and say, There. Shut up.

    Are You Not Entertained?*

    It is June 8, 1966. The American Football League and the National Football League, who have been engaged in a brutal bidding war for talent for years, have decided to merge. While the merger would not officially commence until the 1970 season, the mega-rich owners have started to envision their grand plan; an entertainment league, protected by anti-trust laws and heavily funded by taxpayer money, topped nicely with the tax breaks of a ‘non-profit organization’.

    Each league has talent, but the greater share lies within the NFL. Instead of continuing their competitive spiral to the bottom and ruining their profit margins (a classic sign of competitive

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