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Once Upon a Time in Hollywood: From the Secret Files of Harry Pennypacker
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood: From the Secret Files of Harry Pennypacker
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood: From the Secret Files of Harry Pennypacker
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Once Upon a Time in Hollywood: From the Secret Files of Harry Pennypacker

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Once Upon a Time in Hollywood: From the Secret Files of Harry Pennypacker is a revisionist history of Hollywood's Golden Era and the tabloid press that covered it. Harry Pennypacker was a prolific and revered newspaper columnist; a colleague of Louella Parsons, Walter Winchell, and the other great columnists of the day. Unfortunately, nobody has ever heard of him because the papers never ran his articles. They were too hot. Too dangerous. Too likely to tarnish the delicate image of silver screen icons. The newspaper syndicate couldn't fire him because he had an ironclad contract, so Pennypacker wrote his stories ... and the editors buried them. Until now. The secret files of Harry Pennypacker are secret no longer.

LanguageEnglish
Release dateJun 8, 2015
ISBN9781310137556
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood: From the Secret Files of Harry Pennypacker

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    Book preview

    Once Upon a Time in Hollywood - Michael B. Druxman

    Chapter 1: John Wayne

    John Wayne! He was America’s most beloved hero, an on-screen symbol of this nation’s strength.

    More than a quarter century after his death, his films, like Stagecoach, Red River, Sands of Iwo Jima, The Searchers, Rio Bravo and True Grit, are still watched and revered by millions of fans throughout the world.

    He was, indeed, a star whose brightness will never fade.

    And yet, he did not exist.

    That’s right!

    John Wayne was not real.

    My name is Harry Pennypacker.

    For nearly fifty years, I was one of the top newspaper columnists in this country. I had national syndication in every major city.

    I know you’ve never heard of me.

    That’s because nobody ever ran my columns.

    I wrote them, but the damn editors killed them.

    Sure, I got paid. I had an ironclad contract.

    But, my stuff was so hot that the papers were too scared to print it. They figured the truth would get the wrong people mad at them. They might lose some advertising.

    They might even get sued.

    You know what they made me do to justify my paycheck?

    I had to write the goddamn TV listings:

    "Tonight, on The Beverly Hillbillies, Jed Clampett gets arrested in a Beverly Hills brothel by Sergeant Joe Friday of Dragnet, who was working undercover as one of the girls."

    Believe it or not, some of those listings were just that bad.

    I’ve got the files for every real story I ever wrote, and I’m going to share some of them with you in this book, which should be a best-seller.

    [God only knows that I can use the money.]

    But, be warned!

    What you are about to read may upset some of you. History is going to be rewritten and sacred icons destroyed.

    Let me start by telling you about John Wayne.

    Truthfully, I was very unhappy when I was assigned to cover Hollywood. The editors were just giving me simple bread-and-butter stories to cover, like interviewing celebrities at the opening of the latest Roy Rogers movie, or reviewing Plan 9 From Outer Space, the new film from director Ed Wood, Jr.

    But, all that changed one day when I was at Warner Brothers Studios to interview Ronald Reagan’s stand-in.

    Actually, when I got to the studio, I found out that Ronald Reagan didn’t have a stand-in, so I spent the morning walking around the lot, visiting some of the sets.

    I was in the men’s room, standing at one of the urinals, when who should take the spot next to me but John Wayne.

    I was speechless. Here I was, standing next to one of America’s greatest movie heroes, one of my heroes, taking a leak.

    I’m only human. Like any other person, I was curious. So, when Wayne wasn’t looking, I took a quick glance down and to the right.

    What I saw shocked me. It shocked me so much that I screamed, jumped back and accidentally urinated on Wayne’s pant leg.

    I made a quick apology and ran out of the men’s room. In fact, I ran to my car and drove out of the studio.

    It took me awhile, but I realized that I had stumbled onto a story that could revolutionize my career.

    I had found out that John Wayne was not real. There was no such person.

    And, after months of research, I discovered that he was the creation of a brilliant unknown character actor named Mendel Skulnick.

    This was one of the best-kept secrets in Hollywood.

    If anyone knew, or even suspected the truth, they didn’t say a word. They wouldn’t

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