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    99 Signs You Are Not In The 1%
    99 Signs You Are Not In The 1%
    99 Signs You Are Not In The 1%
    Ebook166 pages36 minutes

    99 Signs You Are Not In The 1%

    By S.m. Torres

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    About this ebook

    I wish I had less money, said no one, ever. Let s start with the obvious: You are poor as hell, my friend. The top 1% own about 40% of the nation s wealth in the United States while you might barely have 40 cents of a dollar in your pocket. But that s capitalism for you. While the One-Percenters go off bathing in the tears of orphan children and sprinkling flakes of gold onto their ice cream sundaes or whatever it is that rich people do, you have to come to terms with the fact that you might have to sell off your soul to pay your taxes. But welcome to the 99%, where the game is the economy and most of us are losing, but at least we re having fun right? In 99 Signs You re Not in the 1%, S.m. Torres, fellow 99-Percenter, lays it out the cold hard truth of how the struggle is real when it comes to money (or lack thereof) in our wallets. From affording rent to buying underwear in bulk, relish in the camaraderie that is the 99% Life.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherMango Media
    Release dateJun 19, 2015
    ISBN9781633530140
    99 Signs You Are Not In The 1%
    Author

    S.m. Torres

    S.m. Torres is a South Floridian writer, who has dabbled in the art of stand-up comedy and frequently tells jokes quietly to herself. Since graduating Emerson College, she has published her short story fiction in The Acentos Review and is currently working on a real-life cat tale, 99 Signs You���re an Obsessed Cat-Parent.

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      Book preview

      99 Signs You Are Not In The 1% - S.m. Torres

      99-Signs-EbookCover.jpg

      Copyright © 2015 by Mango Media Inc.

      Front Cover Image: S.m. Torres

      Back Cover Image: S.m. Torres

      Cover Design: Elina Diaz

      Interior Design, Theme and Layout: Elina Diaz & S.m. Torres

      All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior written permission.

      S.m. Torres /Mango Media, Inc.

      2525 Ponce de Leon, Suite 300

      Coral Gables, FL 33134

      www.mangomedia.us

      99 Signs You Are Not in The 1% / S.m. Torres -- 1st ed.

      ISBN 978-1-63353-014-0

      I've got all the money I'll ever need; if I die by four o'clock.

      –Henry Youngman

      When you've lived your entire life as a part of the 99%, sometimes it's easy to get blinded by the disadvantages and begin to resent everyone else for the situation you're in. But sometimes it's easier to take those same sentiments and laugh at how ridiculous they are.

      I've spent my entire life struggling, whether they were First World Problems or legitimate shitty issues, but at the end of the day, I could always just laugh it over-because why bother letting life get you down? Stick it to the Man and realize what great sitcoms were made of: the issues of the 99%. The everyday, real-world problems we complain about in grocery lines to make new friends, or the silly stories we complain about to coworkers and friends just to get the load off and smile, or the things that make us, well, human.

      Part of the appeal of the 99% is we are great in numbers and we are not alone.

      So say whatever to your problems and take a breather to chuckle.

      As they say, builds character, my friend.

      Table of Contents

      THE THINGS YOU DO FOR MONEY...

      FEAR & LOATHING OUTSIDE THE WORKPLACE

      HOME IS WHAT THE WALLET CAN AFFORD

      FOR THE LOVE OF MONEY

      SETTLING DOWN INTO NOTHING

      POPPING TAGS & CLIPPING COUPONS

      EAT, PRRAY, STARVE

      LOSE WEIGHT LIKE YOU LOSE MONEY

      the sacred hours of the weekend

      THE BIG DAYS OF YOUR LITTLE LIFE

      THE THINGS YOU DO FOR MONEY...

      Let's start with the obvious: You are poor as hell, my friend.

      The top 1% own about 40 % of the nation's wealth in the United States while you barely have 40 cents of a dollar in your pocket. But that's capitalism for you. While the One-Percenters go off bathing in the tears of orphaned children and sprinkling flakes of gold onto their ice cream sundaes or whatever it is that rich people are doing, you have to come to terms with selling your soul to pay your taxes.

      If you're working hard for pennies, chances are these

      signs are gonna hit a little too close to home.

      THE THINGS YOU DO FOR MONEY…

      The fact of the matter is you and money are not on good terms. There are rags-to-riches stories and then There's you, buddy. You've had more than enough heartbreak from bogus lottery tickets and rigged slot machines to keep you jaded when watching feel-good family blockbusters about people having their dreams come true. Are you actually getting mad at a nine-year-old protagonist for having a successful dog-themed business plan? Really?

      But man, if you did win, wouldn't it be nice to finally leave that shitty job of yours? And pay off all your debts? And become free at last? You know, be a human being or something.

      THE THINGS YOU DO FOR MONEY…

      If you've ever had to work in customer service, chances are you've lost your faith in humanity long,

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