The Forgotten Girls: Never Been A Daddy's Girl, #1

Preface

They say that the first man a daughter learns to love is her father. That he is the one who is supposed to love her and treat her special, so she knows what to look for when she gets older. I Unfortunately I never had that pleasure, although the first man I ever loved wasn’t my dad. He was my stepdad- Jerome a.k.a Stone. He was always there for me. Good or bad. To either get on my nerves or to somehow someway put a smile on my face. I didn’t miss anything growing up with him around. He bought my first big bike, he picked me up from school, and he never treated me any differently when my sisters were born.  I commend him for that because he did what many men wouldn’t do. Raise a kid that wasn’t his own. He came around when I was three, and twenty one years later he’s still there. He is the definition of a good man and most girls aren’t so lucky to even have a father around or a male who actually cared, but I was. There is no day that passes by that I don’t appreciate what he did for me and how he was a great grandfather to my kids.

Most girls have fathers who are incarcerated like mine was and they become confused, lost, and rebellious. I was all those things and a few more. I was headed towards being just another statistic because despite being raised well I went against it all because when my dad did came around he didn’t stay long. I was fourteen, and six months later after he got out, he went to California. I hated him and even today I still hold some type of resentment towards him because what he failed to realize was that I desperately needed him. I wanted to get to know him and see if maybe we could have a bond but it didn’t happen. He tried to be there from a distance, but to me he was dead. There was nothing that he could say to me to justify abandoning me yet again. I was like who does that? Who leaves their child whose life he missed twelve years out on? Twelve years that he will never get back. Twelve years that another man stepped in and filled. I held on to my resentment till I was twenty one. Today we are better but the hurt never goes away. I try to understand but I can’t; nevertheless I can now be enough of an adult to let him in and know me. It’s not great but it works.

Then some girls are being loved by their father the wrong way by being touched, abused, or used and they have no way of coping with the pain. It’s just like the girls I will write about.  Tonya, Mercedes, Jenelle, Michelle, and Brittany- they all represent some teenage girl out there who does not have a voice and wants to be heard. A girl who wants to be loved and cared for by the only man who should matter to them:  their father, but sadly in their world, he’s the one who abused them incessantly. Michelle, Tonya, Jenelle, Mercedes, and Brittany only have their friendships to hold them together because their parents are not  that impressive.

The Beginning

Tonya

Ugh! I feel so sick. Tonya thought to herself as she rolled out of bed. She never felt this way before and it was starting to scare her. She slowly trudged my way to the bathroom because she felt the only way she would feel better was to throw up. She lifted the toilet seat up and was disgusted at what she saw, which made her throw up even more. In the toilet bowl was a blood soaked tampon which meant her drunken mom didn’t flush the toilet after she used the bathroom. It also got her to think about her period. She was late because hers is usually a week earlier than her mum’s. It’s not that she would notice though. She started buying her own products three years ago when she was thirteen.

She walked over to the sink and started to fill it with warm water. She really didn’t have the time to take a shower because she was already running late. She slowly washed her face and her body off. She stared in the mirror and she looked really tired. She had bags under her eyes and she looked like she’d been through hell and back which ironically is exactly how she felt. She went to get dressed and she couldn’t really find anything to wear. She threw on a pair of old jeans and an Old Navy tank top with the USA flag on it. She found some old flip flops under her bed and slid them on her feet. She looked around the room for her book bag and spotted it on the back of her closet door. Well time for me to get this day started, she mumbled to herself as she walked out of her room.

When she walked into the living room she saw her mom passed out half naked on the chair. She also had a half drunken bottle of Hennessy in her hand. She just shook her head as she grabbed a banana off of the kitchen counter and left. She spotted Michelle and Brittany at the end of the driveway.

Damn girl! You don’t know how to answer your phone calls? We almost left your ass, said Brittany as she popped on her bubble gum.

Sorry girl. I must be have it on silent, she said as they started our the daily walk to school.

So what’s up with you and old boy? asked Michelle.

Yea you know better than to say his name and fuck him! I can do better, she said sounding more confident than she actually was.

Um huh. You know you love him, laughed Brittany.

She shook her head. You know what? Forget both of y'all! she screamed. She wasn’t in the mood to deal with their jokes. She had other things on my her mind.

Damn Tonya! We were just joking, said Michelle softly.

She started to cry. Her body started to shake and she could feel the mucus dripping from her nose. She felt both of them wrap their arms around her and try to comfort her, but she still couldn’t stop sobbing.

What’s wrong? they both asked at the same time.

I think that I might be pregnant, she said as she started to sob harder.

Pregnant! Girl your mama is going to kill you! exclaimed Michelle.

Kill her. Chop her up. And feed her to fish is more like it,said Brittany.

Y’all are not helping this situation, she said as she sat on the sidewalk.

Girl it’ll be okay, said Michelle as she rubbed her shoulders.

It will not be okay! My life is over! she sighed.

You know what, forget school and forget your mama. Let’s go to the pregnancy center and get the free test. All you have to do is walk in, said Brittany.

You’re right. No need for me to sit around stressing myself out until I know for sure, she said.

So are we going to the pregnancy center? asked Brittany.

Yea, we’re going to the pregnancy center, she replied.

Mercedes

She lay in bed, debating whether she was going to go to school or not. It’s not like her mom would know because all she did was work. She was tired of being alone and she was definitely tired of school. She wasn’t good at it and she was failing every class because she didn’t understand what was going on.  Well it’s settled. I’m going to the basketball courts, she said as she hopped out of her bed.

She grabbed her black halter top with the glitter butterfly on the front and a pair of black Capri’s.  She combed her hair to the side and rubbed some lip gloss on her lips. It didn’t take long before she was satisfied with the way that she looked so she grabbed her house keys and walked out of the door. Outside was very hot. She could feel herself starting to sweat so she began to walk faster. Finally she made it to the basketball court. She saw that there were other females there too. All of them either had on shorts or miniskirts. She wasn’t worried about it though because even on her worst day she still looked better than them. She didn’t need to put it all out there. She walked over to the bleachers and sat directly in the front row under some shade. She could hear the other girls talking about her and sucking their teeth but she didn’t care.

She had one thing on her mind and that was not going home alone. The guys were running back and forth on the court and she noticed this guy Brandon who she had English with was there. He wasn’t the sexiest guy ever but it was something about him that intrigued the hell out of her. He was tall; dark skinned, had these rabbit teeth, and was skinny. Not many girls chased after him but she was going to give him a shot. She noticed him walking off the court and he went to go grab his book bag. She got up and started to walk behind him. When he turned the corner going towards the school, she figured that it was time to make her move. Hey Brandon, she said as she stepped beside him.

He looked her up and down and smiled. What’s up Mercedes?

Chilling as usual. So um do you have to go to school today? she asked him seductively. No need to beat around the bush. She thought to herself. She wanted to get laid and he was the perfect person to do it.

She watched as he looked a little shocked that she was coming onto him. Then he smiled again. Um no, not really. What did you have in mind? he asked with a raised eyebrow.

Well nobody is home, at my house so you could always come home with me. I don’t bite and maybe we could get into something if you’d like. she slowly licked her lips.

He stared at her for a while and then shook his head. Oh! Really? And uh what would will be getting into exactly?

She laughed. Whatever you want to get into boo.

Well let’s go! he said excitedly.

She laughed again because he was acting like a little boy about to stick his hand in the candy jar and she guessed in a way he was. She took his hand and led him towards her house. It didn’t take long for them to get there because she lived a short distance from the courts and the school. As soon as she closed the door she immediately got him naked. She pushed him back on the chair and gently kissed him. She then slowly started to undress herself. She felt his eyes burning a hole in her skin. It felt good to be the center of attention and that’s what she craved most. Nobody else gave it to her so she took it anyway that she could get it. She stood in front of him naked and smiled. She slowly walked over to him and straddled his long, hard, thick dick. She could hear him suck in air as if he couldn’t believe that this was happening. She slid her wet, tight pussy on him and gently started to ride him. He gripped her waist and started to bounce her harder and faster. She moaned out in pleasure.

He felt so good and she could feel herself nearing release. He started to pump into her harder and then they both yelled out as they came. She was breathing hard and so was he. She looked into his eyes and saw that he still wanted a piece of her. He wanted more of what she could give. That’s when it clicked. Sex. It was her way of being loved and she would keep doing it with whosoever she feels like perpetrating the act with to keep feeling that way; and she didn’t care what anyone said.

Jenelle

I’m so tired of this. I’m tired of being used and abused. How can a man keep hurting his daughter over and over? Why can’t he just leave me the hell alone? Let me sleep in peace for just one night. She thought to herself.

Ms. Johnson I would appreciate it if you pay attention in my class and quit daydreaming, said Mr. Thomas.

The class laughed. She picked up her pen and pretended that she was taking notes when she really just wanted to be out of the class. Where the hell is Mercedes? She thought to herself as she glanced over at her empty desk. Mercedes was her best friend and her rock. She was always there when she needed her and she will always be there for her. She figured something had happen to her since she didn’t call her and tell her that she was coming to school. She skipped class on a regular basis but they usually did it together. Her mom wouldn’t notice and her parents, well they weren’t too much of parents. The bell finally rang and she picked up her stuff to leave. She looked around for Mercedes in the hallway to see if