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    Cosmic Seasoning: A Collection of Short Stories
    Cosmic Seasoning: A Collection of Short Stories
    Cosmic Seasoning: A Collection of Short Stories
    Ebook78 pages58 minutes

    Cosmic Seasoning: A Collection of Short Stories

    By L.G. Keltner

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    About this ebook

    This compilation of ten short science fiction stories is sure to add a little flavor to your day. You'll get to see what happens when a universal translator malfunctions during first contact, the repercussions of a maladjusted writer making a holographic duplicate of herself, the reunion of a couple of shapeshifters that have been exiled to Earth, and more.

    Some stories are funny, and others are a bit darker, but they're all short enough to read in one sitting.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherL.G. Keltner
    Release dateJul 29, 2015
    ISBN9781310937873
    Cosmic Seasoning: A Collection of Short Stories
    Author

    L.G. Keltner

    L.G. Keltner spends most of her time trying to write while also cleaning up after her crazy but wonderful kids and hanging out with her husband. Her favorite genre of all time is science fiction, and she’s been trying to write novels since the age of six. Needless to say, those earliest attempts weren’t all that good.Her non-writing hobbies include astronomy and playing Trivial Pursuit.

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      Book preview

      Cosmic Seasoning - L.G. Keltner

      Cosmic Seasoning

      A Collection of Short Stories

      L.G. Keltner

      Cosmic Seasoning

      A Collection of Short Stories

      By L.G. Keltner

      Smashwords Edition

      Copyright 2015 by L.G. Keltner

      Smashwords Edition, License Notes

      Thank you for downloading this free ebook. You are welcome to share it with your friends. This book may be reproduced, copied, and distributed for non-commercial purposes provided the book remains in its complete original form. If you enjoyed this book, please return to your favorite ebook retailer to discover other works by this author. Thank you for your support.

      Also by L.G. Keltner

      A Silent Soliloquy

      Table of Contents

      An Introduction of Sorts

      A Polite Letter of Complaint

      Emissary

      Nuance

      A Complicated Suicide

      Pas de Deux

      A Politician Tells the Truth Before Armageddon

      Lux in Tenebris, Rendition #7,620

      Instrumentality

      The Patchwork Girl

      An Urgent Announcement

      About the Author

      An Introduction of Sorts

      Hello. If you’re reading this, that means you took the time to download this ebook. Thank you! Whether you thought it looked interesting, or whether you simply thought ooh, free book and scooped it up without much thought beyond that, I’m grateful.

      I named this collection of stories Cosmic Seasoning for a simple reason. All of the stories here contain science fiction elements, and I hope that the humor you find in some of them and the horror you find in others will add flavor to your day. Whether that flavor is a good or bad one is another matter entirely.

      Why am I offering you these stories for free? It’s simple. I want my words to reach as many people as possible. As an unknown author, this is no easy task. There are a lot of hopeful authors out there, and they produce a lot of books. This is a wonderful thing, especially for readers who want to have a wide variety of works available to them. It does, however, make it difficult to stand out.

      In offering a free ebook, I’m hoping you’ll take the time to give my work a look. The only thing you’re giving up in doing so is time. Don’t get me wrong, I think your time is valuable, but I hope you’ll find yourself entertained.

      Now, what do you do if you hate my stories? What if you feel like you’ve wasted your valuable time? With a physical book, there are plenty of ways to vent your frustration or reuse it in a constructive manner. For example, you can hurl it at the wall or use it to prop up a lopsided table. You can sell it dirt cheap at a garage sale, or you can re-gift it when you realize it’s someone’s birthday and you won’t have time to go to the store. Since this is an ebook, none of these options are available to you. That does not mean you’re powerless to vent your frustrations, though.

      You can delete it and pretend that, in doing so, you wiped it from the face of the earth. This may be a lie, but it could be a comforting one nonetheless.

      You can recommend it to someone you hate. You take the risk of them liking it if you go this route, but you never need to ask them for their opinion if this possibility bothers you.

      You can leave a review. Sure, you hated the book, but this is a good way to vent your feelings. You can also be reasonably certain that I’ll personally get to see what you had to say.

      Now, what can you do if you liked these stories? You can recommend this collection to your friends, or you can leave a review. Or both. Or neither. It’s all up to you, in the end.

      Happy reading!

      A Polite Letter of Complaint

      From:

      Captain Ariana Otto

      USS Freebird

      In indefinite orbit around the planet Lysea

      To:

      CEO Kimp Zernfoddle

      Galactic Language Systems

      Space Station Copernicus

      Tau Ceti System

      Dear Mr. Zernfoddle:

      As the commanding officer of the USS Freebird, I was recently given the great honor of making first contact with the Lyseans. Though we knew little of their language or culture going into this assignment, my entire crew spent weeks studying the intelligence that had already been gathered on this species. We felt confident we knew enough about them to open the lines of communication, and perhaps even establish a trade agreement with them.

      Mr. Zernfoddle, as the CEO of the largest and most powerful manufacturer of translation technology, I have no doubt you are quite familiar with the importance of trade agreements. Part of building and maintaining them requires that you don’t offend the people with whom you’re negotiating. I ask that you keep this crucial fact in mind as you read the rest of this letter.

      Due to the ironclad contract you negotiated with the Astronomical Union’s head

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