Count On Me Series

There are people that tell you high school is the best time of your life. They lied. High school is horrible when you’re like me and you’re autistic. They think that because I don’t talk and I seem to always be lost in my own world, I’m stupid or deaf. Some even think I’m retarded. I’m none of those things and I don’t like that word. Just because I've got these issues, doesn't mean it’s all I am. There’s a lot more to me, but no one really takes the time to get to know it. At least that’s how it was until Kayden. Kayden Walker is bad news. He spends his time making people that are different, like me, feel even worse about themselves and he does it with a smile. He’s everything I don’t need in my life, yet he’s the one person I can’t seem to live without. Underneath, there’s more to him that he’s afraid to let the rest of the world see. I've seen it and as I’m finding out, we’re not so different after all...

Numbers. They’re significant. In my life each one meaning more than the one before it. Seven years. Two thousand, five hundred and fifty five days. That’s how long it’s been since I learned I have Asperger’s Syndrome. Five years. One thousand, seven hundred and twenty days. How long I’ve been in therapy because of it. One chance meeting. All it took for my world to be turned upside down and for me to learn that even in the worst human being, there’s a story to tell and sometimes, the cover to that story can be misleading. I’m Eric Carmen. She’s Amelia Evans and this is our story.

There are people that believe because you may not appear the way they do that you’re somehow weaker or less worthy than they are. I’m living proof they’re wrong. From the day I was born I've always been seen as one thing—deaf. What people don’t realize, is just because I can’t hear the things they say, doesn't mean I don’t feel the pain that comes from their words and actions. I’m more than just the girl that can’t hear and I've never been more determined to prove it now that I've been sent here. Wexfield High School. I know everything that happens here and I know even more about the guy who makes it all happen. Dillon Murphy is trouble with a capital T. He goes out of his way to hurt those he perceives to be weaker than him and does it with a smile. What he doesn't realize is that his tricks, they won’t work on me because I know his secret. As I’m finding out, there’s a lot more to Dillon then he wants the world to see and before my time here is up, I’m determined to make him see it, even if it costs me my heart in the process.

A father convicted of criminal mischief and sentenced to twenty years in prison. A mother who’s so lost in the bottom of a bottle of pills, most days I’m not even sure she knows her own name. You’d think with role models like that, I’d know what to avoid. But if you know anything about me at all, nothing simple is ever really that simple. Cadence changed all of that. Making me feel and experience things that for the last eleven years I thought were only meant for fairy tales and dreams. She gave me my heart back, bringing hope and faith along for the ride, until all I could hear was her. She became my world, a beginning with no end, and it was so damn beautiful that I started to believe there was nothing that would ever tear us apart. Until something, or rather someone did. Me. I’ve been told that love isn’t about trying, failing and giving up when things get hard. That real love is continuing to try despite it, so just like a year ago, I’m going to do it again, and this time around our beginning will have an end. Cadence and Dillon together. Forever. I’m in the fight of my life and this time, I don’t plan to lose.

Anger, Resentment, Jealousy, Rage, Violence, Hate and Fear. For eighteen years, this is all I've known. When everything seemed to crash and burn around me, I could always count on those seven things to get me through. At least that’s how it was until Isabelle. With one brief look across a crowded parking lot, she altered my entire existence. Erasing all of the things I thought I could count on and replacing them with ones of her own. Things that even now, a year later, I still don’t think I deserve. Forgiveness, Understanding, Acceptance, Friendship, Redemption, Hope and Love. So what do you do when you've been given all of these things by the most beautiful person on the planet with nothing expected in return? Well when you’re me, you find a way to screw it up. She thinks I’m the strong one. That I’m not afraid of anything. She’s wrong. I’m afraid of a lot of things, but the absolute worst is losing her. Losing yet another person I love and being powerless to stop it. I can’t lose Belle. I just can’t. Even if losing her is exactly what I deserve. You thought our story was complete, but what you’re about to find out, is no story ever really ends. It just finds new ways to begin again.

Shattered glass. Red drops falling. A rustic scent, mixing with the smoke until it’s all I can smell. The loss of the only person that ever gave a shit about me. My reality. What I caused because I couldn’t be what the rest of the world needed me to be. For letting the selfish part of me win and allowing myself to fall in love. I’ve been running as fast and as far away from the memory of that night as I can get, but no matter how far I go, I can never escape it. The last thing I want is someone new coming along and forcing me to do what I’ve spent the last two years ducking and dodging at every turn. Feeling, or even worse. Loving. Isaac Crawford is toxic and it has nothing to do with his inability to speak. He threatens everything I’ve spent the last two years trying to bury. His resemblance to my past is undeniable, bringing what should remain buried, alive again. And no matter how deep the urge is to flee, the need to stay fights back harder. Making the untouchable one impossible to turn away from. One look—one chance meeting in a conference room was all it took for him to get under my skin and now that he’s done it, there’s no turning back. The untouched is creating the unbroken.

“Look forward.” They say. “Focus on what comes next. Not on what came before.” I want to do that. I just can’t. Not until I find that book, hand it over, and make Isabelle see that even when things were at their bleakest, she was there. Make her understand that she’s always been with me. Right from the very start. Every happy ending has a beginning... This is ours.

Every hero has a villain. It’s been that way since the beginning of time. If you’re looking for a present-day example, look no further than Batman. He had a slew of them, but my personal favorite was Harvey Dent. When you think about it, with the way my life has been, I could easily be considered his far more evil brother. The only real difference between us, I have more faces than two. You see, monsters aren’t born, they’re created. And just like every villain that’s come before me, I’m not going anywhere. Not even when faced with my biggest challenge yet. Jail. I’m not walking away until they all pay for what they turned me into. The monster with so many faces, he has no real face at all.

Their love story began in Count on Me As they grew, so did their love in All My Heart They went back to the start in What Lies Beneath It’s time for their final ride in Take My Hand. Belle Every road we’ve taken over the last six years has been leading to this moment. One week. Seven days. 168 hours. Otherwise known as, the day I officially become Kayden’s wife. Isabelle Walker. If you’ve followed our journey, though, you know I’ve been Isabelle Walker a lot longer than six years. Kayden and I have been meant to be since we were four years old. And just like the roads we traveled to get here were filled with twists and turns we had to adapt to and overcome, so is this one. I wouldn’t have it any other way.