Repo Man: Saucer Theft
By R. Richard
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About this ebook
The next step in my operation requires a bit of explanation. If you want to attract moths, you need a bright light. If you want to attract hot rodders, you need something like my truck. My truck may look like junk to you, but it has a turbo 454 rat motor and a full race car suspension. It's a very fast hot rod.
I cruise in to The Starting Line and purchase coffee and a burger. I park my truck in an open spot and pop the hood open. Suddenly, I'm an instant celebrity or at least my truck is!
The hot rodders are drawn, like moths to a flame. One of then opens the conversation with, “A 427 with twin turbos?”
I lecture, “A hand assembled 454 with twin turbos, roller cam, magic port work, turbo designed headers, aftermarket fuel injection and a crank trigger ignition system. Of course, I don't street race (wink, nudge, nudge.)”
Another hot rodder chimes in, “Of course not, we're all safety conscious.”
“Yeah, unless some idiot reeeeely needs a lesson. I hear LS7 Corvettes don't go.”
“Right.”
“I'm kind of lookin' for my buddy. He's a limo driver and he lives somewhere around here.”
One of the guys says, “Some guy cruisin' the area, late night. Drives a big limo with dark windows. Lives out on Ranch Road, big red barn.”
“Gots to look him up. He got a built mouse motor, belongs to me.”
I then finish my burger and my coffee and dump the remains in a trash can. With my target identified, I cruise down to Ranch Road and look for a red barn. I find a red barn and then kind of dilly dally around the area, until it starts to get dark.
The farm house with the barn shows no lights.
I drive my truck back along Ranch Road and park it down a dark side street. I then walk back to the red barn farm house. As I approach the farm house, I detect signs of movement, from inside the house. I duck down a dirt road, that's on the other side of Ranch Road from the farm house.
Several very tall, very thin, dark shapes then exit the farm house and start toward the dirt road, where I'm trying to hide.
(I always keep myself in very good physical shape. In my business, the ability to outrun angry people may be necessary for me to survive.) I start down the dirt road, at speed. As I run, I'm looking for a place to dodge off to the side and hide, but no such luck. I run over the top of a slight rise and find a long straight road with a very dim, sort of semi-visible shape off to one side of the dirt road. I have a hunch that I know what the very dim shape is and, with no other place to go, I run toward the dim, shifting shape.
As I approach the dim shape, some sort of door in the bottom of the shape begins to open. The door is a large, maybe cargo door. I run up the cargo door and into the dim shape. I run into what appears to be an empty room. At the far end of the empty room a door opens and a tall, thin idiot comes out into the empty room to see who it is.
Tall thin idiot maybe thinks that I don't belong in whatever it is that I'm in, but I got rights here and I also got a good working left. Tall, thin boy goes down hard. I then throw tall thin boy out and use a lever near the outer edge of the structure. The big cargo door begins to rise up and close against the rim of whatever it is that I'm in.
I go into the door, where tall, thin boy came out of, and find myself in the control room of some kinda aircraft. The controls don't have writing, they have pictures!
(I'm in a vehicle. I repo vehicles for a living. It aint the first time that I had to figure out how to start and drive away in an unknown vehicle.)
R. Richard
I'm the co-author, with Sunset Thomas, of Anatomy of An Adult Film.I have 48 novels and over 299 short stories currently published.I spent my early years in the part of Los Angeles known as the South Central. I was known as Whi' Boy, which was sufficient to identify me in that place. I'm a skilled Kung Fu player, using a system that I learned from a Korean I knew only as 'Pak.' It would be easier to tell you the places that Pak wasn't wanted by the police, rather than the places where he was wanted by the police. Pak's Kung Fu system, augmented by some bits and pieces from some Chinese practitioners is quick and effective, or I wouldn't be alive today.My early education was mostly obtained by stealing books from the public library (I always returned them and the Librarian even began to provide me with reading lists.) I did go to high schools, but I never really learned anything there. I eventually graduated from the University of California at Los Angeles, UCLA, with a degree in mathematics.I work as a Systems Analyst and also make a part of my living as a professional gambler (legal in Nevada.) I write science fiction and erotica. My published novels are:Anatomy of An Adult Film (With Sunset Thomas)1. Second Chance: God Killer2. Second Chance: Sky Pirate3. Second Chance: Scroll Seeker4. Second Chance: King of The Islands5. Second Chance: King of Zaya6. Second Chance: Duke of Averon7. Second Chance: King of Golomon8. Second Chance: King Of The Sky9. Second Chance: Warlord of Ifrequeh10. Second Chance: King of Ariby11. Second Chance: King of Mesodania12. Second Chance: King of Avuls13. Second Chance: King of Kemet14. Second Chance: King of Zorran15. Second Chance: King of Two Worlds16. Second Chance: King of Averon17. Second Chance: King's Duties18. Second Chance: King of The New WorldAdventurer: Simulation ProblemAdventurer: Pannar ProblemA Programmer's GambitAmateur StripperBeach MurdersBondage HouseCorporate Sex SlavesFriday NightGo Naked In The SoftwareGrasshopper WinterInvoluntary NudeLayoffNot A HeroPirates of The KeysSummer of SexThe LakeThe Last Moon DanceThe Nude Adventures of Plain JaneThe Secret Life of Wanda WilsonTails of the Pussycat LoungeTo Keep A JobTopless RestaurantToy WhoresVix: The MarineWayward BoyShort Stories:A Christmas Visit
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