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    The Unpleasantness at Baskerville Hall
    The Unpleasantness at Baskerville Hall
    The Unpleasantness at Baskerville Hall
    Ebook318 pages5 hours

    The Unpleasantness at Baskerville Hall

    By Chris Dolley

    4/5

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    About this ebook

    Wodehouse steampunk version of The Hound of the Baskervilles!

    “Jeeves and Wooster meet (or run face-first into) Holmes and Watson with a touch of steampunk in the hilarious first full-length Reeves and Worcester tale ... This laugh-out-loud parody works on several levels ... With razor-sharp wit and fast pacing that plays fair with the reader, this is an excellent genre mash-up that fires on all cylinders.” – Publishers Weekly

    An escaped cannibal, a family curse ... and Reginald Worcester turning up on the doorstep. Could things get any worse for the Baskerville-Smythe family?

    As the bodies pile up, only a detective with a rare brain – and Reggie’s is so rare it’s positively endangered – can even hope to solve the case.

    But... there is the small matter that most of the guests aren’t who they say they are, the main suspect has cloven feet, and a strange mist hangs over great Grimdark Mire.

    Luckily the young master has Reeves, his automaton valet, and Emmeline, his suffragette fiancée, on hand to assist.

    This novel is the fifth Reeves & Worcester Steampunk mystery and is set a few months after The Aunt Paradox.

    “A fun blend of P.G. Wodehouse, steampunk and a touch of Sherlock Holmes. Dolley is a master at capturing and blending all these elements. More than fascinating, this work is also “Rip-roaring fun!” – SF Revu

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBook View Cafe
    Release dateFeb 9, 2016
    ISBN9781611385540
    The Unpleasantness at Baskerville Hall
    Author

    Chris Dolley

    Chris Dolley is a New York Times bestselling author, a pioneer computer game designer and a teenage freedom fighter. That was in 1974 when Chris was tasked with publicising Plymouth Rag Week. Some people might have arranged an interview with the local newspaper. Chris created the Free Cornish Army, invaded the country next door, and persuaded the UK media that Cornwall had risen up and declared independence. As he told journalists at the time, 'It was only a small country, and I did give it back.'In 1981, he created Randomberry Games and wrote Necromancer, one of the first 3D first person perspective D&D computer games.In 2004, his acclaimed novel, Resonance, was the first book plucked out of Baen's electronic slushpile.Now he lives in rural France with his wife and a frightening number of animals. They grow their own food and solve their own crimes. The latter out of necessity when Chris's identity was stolen along with their life savings. Abandoned by the police forces of four countries who all insisted the crime originated in someone else's jurisdiction, he had to solve the crime himself. Which he did, and got a book out of it - the International bestseller, French Fried: One Man's Move to France With Too Many Animals And An Identity Thief.He writes SF, Fantasy, Mystery, Humour and Memoir. His memoir, French Fried, is an NY Times bestseller. What Ho, Automaton! - the first of his Reeves and Worcester Steampunk Mysteries series - was a finalist for the 2012 WSFA Small Press Award.

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    Reviews for The Unpleasantness at Baskerville Hall

    4/5

    61 ratings26 reviews

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    • 5/5
      I received a copy of this book through the LibraryThing Early Reviewers program. I'm a huge fan of the original Jeeves and Wooster series by P.G. Wodehouse and was thrilled to have the chance to read and review this book. The story is a steampunk version of the original Jeeves and Wooster books, where Jeeves (called Reeves here) is Reggie's robot butler and the pair investigate a mystery based off of the Sherlock Holmes book the Hound of the Baskervilles. My girlfriend and I read this together and loved it. Chris Dolley does an excellent job of imitating Wodehouse's writing style and pays a bit of homage to Oscar Wilde. Reading Reggie's attempts to emulate famous detectives and solve this Baskerville mystery is hilarious. Laughs abounded. I highly recommend this book, though recommend reading What Ho Automata first since some plot points from the previous stories are mentioned (though not necessary to follow the story).
    • 4/5
      I received a free copy of the audiobook in exchange for an HONEST review:For audiobooks, there are really three ratings I look at: the story, the narration and the overall score.The story is about a private consulting detective and this automaton man servant/assistant. As they search for answer to the mystery, the Automaton (Reeves) proves himself to be the brains of the two while the detective (Worcester) is usually the "comic relief". The author used some real historical figures through out the story and added some interesting twists to them.I am a firm believer that a great narration of an OK or decent book can be a masterpiece. With that being said, I enjoy listening to "The Unpleasantness at Baskerville Hall but I am not 100% sure if it was the story or the narration that I liked.The story itself seemed "fun" but I have the feeling that I may not have enjoyed it if I was reading it. I'm not sure what made me feel this way...lots of "not sures" so far in my review. I give the story itself 3 stars.I am 100% SURE (this time) that I loved the narration. The voice was a perfect match for the writing/story style. The narrators range of voices and inflection was outstanding. I give the narration 4 stars.So overall, my assessment is: I am NOT SURE if reading the book will be much fun but I am 100% SURE that the audiobook is VERY MUCH worth your time! I give the whole shebang 3.5 stars!I look forward to checking out the audiobooks from the series. This book is #4 and perhaps I would have enjoyed it even more if I was already familiar with the characters.
    • 4/5
      So. Much. Fun. A unique spin on the cozy genre and based on this book, I'd say an easy one to pick up anywhere in the series. The characters are well-developed even if they aren't fully human! I found them likable, and it was easy to get lost in their world. All in all, a great way to spend a bit of free time!
    • 4/5
      I love Wodehouse, country house mysteries, and steampunk on their own, so this mash-up was just to my taste!Yes, it was silly... but so are all its root genres.The Bertie/Jeeves relationship was excellently done (although lacking a particularly awful article of clothing that Bertie clings to and Jeeves negotiates the trashing of). Here, Reeves is an automaton, but one that easily passes for human. Worcester is just as ditzy as Wooster. The other members of the house party are pretty classic; the murder well-done... Oh! And add into the mix proto-movies which steal from all the best sources and then add things like Lizard-men and steam-powered octopi.I enjoyed it a lot. The tone was perfect for all this crazy mix. I will probably read more in the series.
    • 5/5
      The Umpleasantness at Baskerville Hall by Chris DolleyIf you have a young spirit, fond of Jeeves & Wooster, Sherlock Holmes, and sci fi, this is a story you will enjoy.Our hero Reginald is in love with this young lady but as often happens in life, he has to go through some adventures to be near her. So he goes in disguise, pretending to be an unknown relative to this manor, where the lady is invited.In this place he will solve some murders with the help of his valet, who happens to be a automaton, sort of a robot, but much wiser than many men. Resembling a lot to Jeeves (his name Reeves).Easy to read and hard to let it go until the very end.Highly recommended
    • 5/5
      Another fun romp, this time crossing some Hound of the Baskervilles with the Island of Doctor Moreau and the usual Reeves & Worcester shenanigans. Mystery, hollywood magic, manners comedy, and... ethics of robotics? Chris Dolley makes it all work together as always!
    • 5/5
      What a fun read! Reeves is an automaton with an attitude, Worcester is a detective with maybe the skills of Sherlock Holmes (but then again...). I giggled my whole way through.
    • 5/5
      What ho fellow bookworms! This book is a delight. It perfectly catches the spirit and the humour of the original PG Wodehouse works while adding a whole new dimension. This time the author is mixing in an element of Sherlock Homes which works well. I have also read, and reviewed here, "The Aunt Paradox" which featured HG Wells and his time machine. Quite frankly I prefer this volume as the crime/mystery element seem to fit in with the style much better. Overall this is a thoroughly enjoyable read.
    • 4/5
      This book was entertaining. As a combination of humor, steampunk and mystery, I enjoyed it immensely. The elements of Sherlock Holmes were well handled. This story was a bit more interesting to me than "The Aunt Paradox" which I reviewed previously because of the stronger crime/mystery elements. Will likely try reading more of this series in the future.
    • 5/5
      This is the first book I have received from the Early Reviewers' programme, and I was hooked immediately. Funny in a Wodehousian way (not sub-Wodehouse either!), with an interesting set of characters (humans, automations, simian and Promethean) and a plot that mixed Holmes and Hardy.I would recommend it to anyone who enjoys Wodehouse's style, and is open to something different.
    • 5/5
      Reginald Worcester is worried. His intended was sent to Baskerville Hall by her mother in the hope that she would find a better match. And he hasn't heard from her in days. To gain entrance to the estate he disguises himself as a distant relative from Argentina, believed to be deceased.Shortly after his arrival a ghost appears and threatens the wellfare of the head of the house. Obviously a new case for our consulting detective! Together with his automaton butler Reeves and Emmeline, who wouldn't miss an adventure, they try to discover the truth. Is the orangutan really the criminal mastermind behind it all?The Unpleasantness of Baskerville Hall is the fourth mystery in this series and it feels like coming home. Doyle again manages to take a well known story adding his own twists and making it thus an extremely entertaining story.I can highly recommend this book to anyone who enjoys humorous stories. I'm very much looking forward to their next adventure!
    • 4/5
      Enjoyable. A good mixture of Sherlock Holmes and P. G. Wodehouse.
    • 4/5
      Steam Punk! Life in an altered universe of fiddly bits, fettling loves, snarky humor and brilliant whodunnit - what more can one ask for in an interesting read? Put on Leftover Salmon's "Steam Powered Airplane", sit back and enjoy a well written story that keeps you guessing at not only who did what, but why. I'll not spoil it by revealing the details - read for yourself!!
    • 4/5
      I have to stop saying that I was surprised by enjoying books I get from the early reviewer's program - it's getting tedious. But the truth is that I was pleasantly surprised by how much I liked this book. I found the writing good, the story interesting and the handling of characters adroit.Because I am a big fan of PG Wodehouse, I expected the takeoff on his work to be like wearing secondhand clothes, but not at all. It was more like strolling onto a vintage clothing store - familiar style, but artfully done.I will definitely be reading more of Chris Dolley's works, and the next one I will try is French Fried. It sounds fascinating!
    • 4/5
      As a fan of P. G. Wodehouse's Jeeves and Wooster series, I approached this steampunk mash up of the (I thought) inimitable P. G. and Conan Doyle with wariness. I was wrong, as Chris Dolley does an excellent job recreating the lovable characters and frivolous atmosphere of the one with the fast-paced sleuthing of the second. Bertie Wooster becomes Reggie Worcester, consulting detective, flanked by the ever-tactful automaton Reeves. A handful of more steam-powered automata and "prometheans" spice up the story, enough to clearly depart from the original authors, yet not too much as to become overwhelming. The result is funny, brilliant, geeky, engrossing, and leaves the reader wanting for more! Plus, extra nerd cred for painting Edison as a distant malevolent creature.I received a complimentary copy of this book through the Early Reviewers program, and this was my first foray into steampunk fan-fiction and the work of Chris Dolley. Hopefully this will not be my last, as I'm planning to read Reeves and Worcester's debut "What Ho, Automaton!" next.
    • 4/5
      I'm not certain if this book would appeal to anyone who is not, first of all, a PG Wodehouse fan and, second, a Sherlock Holmes fan, but if you are, this was great fun. I had no idea what steampunk was before reading this, but it's not too hard to catch on. And the Jeeves/Reeves character is certainly a prime candidate for an automatan. I laughed out loud numerous times, found the plot suitably wacky for a Wodehouse satire - and enjoyed the numerous references to the original Holmes story. And, spoiler alert, while the author used the same motive, I liked that he didn't use the same villain. A enjoyable 3 - r hour read - I will be searching out the previous book as well.
    • 4/5
      A fun mash up of detectives, fantasy and science fiction. It was like Sherlock Holmes meets Terry Pratchett's Discworld with tributes or homages to different authors (HG Wells "Dr Morrow", Asimov "Harry Selden" and others) along the way. There were laugh out load moments as Reginald Worcesters bumbles along with the keen direction of his automaton valet Reeves and his irrepressible fiance Emmeline. I liked the quick pace and different interwoven story lines. If you are familiar with the similar Hounds of the Baskervilles and like dry and sometimes quirky humour, you will enjoy this story. Even though it is the second in a series, it stands on its own.
    • 4/5
      Playful Steampunk Homage to P.G. Wodehouse (and Others).Author Chris Dolley obviously had a lot of fun writing this lighthearted mystery, and his enthusiasm quickly draws the reader in. I started off in a somewhat critical frame of mind, as indicated by my notes, and there are factual errors that are jarring. For example, the know-everything, Jeevesian butler Reeves conflates New Testament story of the prodigal son with the Old Testament story of Esau and Jacob, and an orangutan is described as having been acquired in Africa. However, the fact-checker part of my brain was eventually subdued, and I was won over by the sly allusions to other works (e.g., Harry Selden), and quips like "no plan survives first contact with a family member."Since I'm usually very careful about reading the books in a series in order, I was a little concerned when I won a review copy on LibraryThing. However, while there are allusions to previous adventures (as there probably should be in any book that is a tribute to Doyle as well as Wodehouse), the mystery stands by itself.
    • 5/5
      A very unusual take on the traditional P G Wodehouse.Characters renamed, but still the essence of Bertie and Jeeves are there.Great read, highly recommended!
    • 4/5
      This book is clearly a P.G. Wodehouse pastiche with some added steampunk elements and a sprinkling of Sherlock Holmes-related references (the title being one of the obvious references). Being a fond Jeeves and Wooster fan, I had a lot of fun listening to the audiobook version of this story. Dolley had really nailed the Wodehouse story style, character personalities and dialogue! I love how Worcester’s consulting detective methods are ideas he comes across while reading detective novels where a pastry chef plays amateur detective, stuff like that. As can be expected, his ‘method’ for exposing a barely visible fingerprint is good for an eye-roll. While this story is fabulous as a Wodehouse pastiche, I have to say that the steampunk elements came across rather flat. It is as if they were added on just to make the story stand out as “different”. I am pretty sure the story could have just as easily been written without the steampunk aspects, so from that perspective I don’t see this one having appeal for some fans of the steampunk genre. Overall, a decent enough mystery for mystery fans to enjoy and a story I can heartily recommend to the P.G. Wodehouse fans who appreciate the farcical, tongue-in-cheek irony that P.G. Wodehouse perfected. If you enjoy mashups, this may also appeal to you as Dolley seems to have had a lot of fun scattering Easter egg references to everything from The Importance of Being Earnest to proto-cinematic films where book classics are being filmed with Lizard-men set in quarries. Pure utter silliness and page turning – well, in my case, head-nod listening – fun.
    • 3/5
      This is my second dip into the Reeves & Worcester pool and I am really enjoying this series. We’ve still got the steampunked mashup of Sherlock Holmes and Jeeves but in this adventure they take on Hollywood, animal rights, ghosts and reanimated corpses – all in order to follow his heart.
    • 4/5
      This book was great fun! The fourth in the Reeves & Worchester series by Chris Dolley (the first being "What Ho, Automaton!"), it is the first of Dolley's books I have read. I have since obtained another of his, not in this series but an older memoir, which I also intend to review here. This plot, characters and language of the book reminds me of a cross between the P.G. Wodehouse's Jeeves & Wooster mixed with a bit of Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes as the mystery is solved by unusual means by unusual characters, including automatons, reanimators, and some interesting and odd creatures including a half-man half-cat. If you enjoy interesting language and quick humor, you will enjoy this book. Parts made me laugh out loud. The conversations are delightful. Quotes I highlighted as I read include the following: [a man had a] “weather-beaten face and a worrying shortage of teeth. I rather thought he had the look of a man who’d been aged for twelve years in an oak cask.”[On Sergeant Stock dismounting a horse, he did a] half-slide, half-fall to the ground, and he looked a little pained in the billowy portions.[Worcester asks Reeves] “A what in the wardrobe? [Reeves replies] A head sir, it appears to be glowing.”Take a break from the serious -- fiction or non-fiction -- and read one of Dolley's "steampunk mysteries".
    • 5/5
      Being a SERIOUS Sherlock Holmes fan (over 100 entries in LibraryThing) I really looked forward to reading this Early Reviewer offering. The first thing I did after I received it was to purchase and read the first three books in the serious. And I am glad I did because Chris Dolley carries forward certain traits and idiosyncrasies from the first through to the last book. While you could pick-up “The Unpleasantness...” my opinion is you would unfortunately miss all the important background content that makes Reeves and Worcester such crazy and lovable characters!The most important fact - I haven't read a series of books in my entire life that made me laugh out loud at least four times and uncountable chuckles. Every one was absolutely hilarious and certainly the best parodies of Holmes and Watson that I have come across. So I've installed a steam-tap in my home and have added a pair of bolt-cutters to my toolbox in anticipation of Dolley's next adventure with these off-the-wall characters!
    • 4/5
      The Unpleasantness at Baskerville Hall (Reeves & Worcester Steampunk Mysteries) (Volume 2) by Chris Dolley (Author)Book View Cafe (2016), Edition: 1, 250 pagesFrom the start, Chris Dolley sets the scene for a laugh-out-loud sci-fi adventure stating, “All characters, cannibals, mad scientists, locations, and events portrayed in this book are fictional…”. The game, as they say, is afoot and “The Unpleasantness of Baskerville Hall” delivers. This ridiculous mélange of (primarily) fin-de-siècle genre writing not only gets you to the edge of your seat but topples you over the top of it in fits of laughter. In Dolley’s hands the ridiculous is twisted and turned such that all its subtle nuances are brought to the fore.By parodying the classic Holmes style of investigation, Dolley has put his characters Reeves and Worcester in great peril. Readers wend their way through the evidence following the clues and, much as the heroes, remaining in the dark until the last moment. Dolley manages to keep you guessing, never for one moment sure that the suspects picked out by you or Reeves and Worcester are actually culpable. By being a parody there is a great risk that the narrative would fall into the trap of seeming stale and predictable but, till the very end, you are encouraged to keep on deducing.While the narrative is convoluted the reader is never once confused as to events, however, it would seem that there is more to be done on the proofreading and editing side of things. There were several off-putting and uncertain moments in which abbreviations were used instead of words, or where possessives were used instead of plurals. These small faults did not completely detract from the story, but they did confuse the development of Worcester’s character since it was not clear whether he was affecting to be casual by using abbreviations or whether it was editorial laziness. Very often uses such as ‘c.’ instead of ‘conversation’ and ‘viz’ completely confused the feel of the narrative.Overall “The Unpleasantness at Baskerville Hall” is a definite 4 out of 5 stars.
    • 4/5
      I have read a couple of Chris Dolley's books in the past few years and while I am glad he is doing well with his career, I wish he (or his first readers) were more diligent about fact checking and assorted housekeeping. Orangutans do not come from Africa and I wonder how someone writes on a mirror using rouge. Lip-rouge (an old word for lipstick) perhaps? At the time when this story is set, rouge was commonly a powder that was brushed on the cheeks.These complaints aside, if you like written humor and a good dose of silliness, you will enjoy this book.I received a review copy of "The Unpleasantness at Baskerville Hall" by Chris Dolley (Book View Café) through Librarything.com.
    • 4/5
      The Unpleasantness at Baskerville HallBy Chris Dolley4 out of 5 starsI received an early review copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.A mix of Wodehouse's convoluted story lines and sparkling conversation with an addition of Oscar Wilde cleverness and Sherlock Holmes mystery. When I receive an early review book, I generally like to read the book twice. The first time I just read for fun. The second perusal is when I take notes. When I finish, I have a completely annotated book. This process can be hard work but it helps me to focus my thoughts and makes it easier for me to clearly see the book. However, for this book, I couldn't help myself, I started taking notes right away. There were just so many little clever turns of phrase and engaging references to other books. This was fun and I enjoyed myself thoroughly.Some Quotes:“To miss one meal may be regarded as a misfortune, to miss two is unconscionable.”“And it’s the early bird that slaps the cuffs on the worm, Reeves.”“The pause became pregnant, gave birth, had grandchildren, and still no one moved.”Excerpts From: Dolley, Chris. “The Unpleasantness at Baskerville Hall.” Book View Café. iBooks. This material may be protected by copyright.Plot/ CharactersI'm a huge Wodehouse fan so this book sounded like candy to me. The characters are based on Wodehouse characters Bertie and Jeeves and are just spot on. The difference being that Reeves (the Jeeves character) is an automaton. They live in a steampunk version of the Wodehouse world. This gives a refreshing modern edge to the story and dialogue. The story has all the elements of a Wodehouse story (characters in disguise, thwarted lovers, a country house) with a fun mystery thrown in to further complicate matters - all in this alternate steampunk world. The world is also very skillfully but casually developed. The reader is not bonked over the head with lots of details about how things work but it all flows smoothly and clearly. The story is convoluted and engaging - just densely packed - pure happiness. The story is breezy and light but throws in some gravity with a discussion of the humanity of machines. Is it murder to destroy a machine? This thought does force the reader to think. Is it murder to kill a dog? If it is not murder is it still morally wrong? Is it wrong to murder someone who is morally corrupt (like Hitler)? Oh goodness, what a brain fizz I have going on in my head! Conclusion:This book is a quirky and entertaining read. The author bio (and book history) shows a person who finds the funny in life. I can't wait to read all the rest of his books!

    Book preview

    The Unpleasantness at Baskerville Hall - Chris Dolley

    The Unpleasantness

    at Baskerville Hall

    Chris Dolley

    This is a work of fiction. All characters, cannibals, mad scientists, locations, and events portrayed in this book are fictional or used in an imaginary manner to entertain, and any resemblance to any real people, situations, or incidents is purely coincidental.

    All Rights Reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form.

    Copyright © 2016 by Chris Dolley

    BVC logo

    A Smashwords edition

    Published by Book View Café

    www.bookviewcafe.com

    ISBN 13: 978-1-61138-554-0

    Cover art by Mark Hammermeister

    Cover design by Chris Dolley

    Steampunk Font © Illustrator Georgie - Fotolia.com

    One

    Quotes Do you believe in star cross’d lovers, Reeves?"

    Sir?

    Romeo and Juliet, Reeves. I fear that’s what’s happening to me and Emmeline. Minus the asp.

    The asp was Cleopatra, sir.

    Really? I didn’t know the asp had a name. Family pet, was it?

    The things one learns when one’s valet has a giant steam-powered brain. I puffed on a contemplative cheroot while Reeves mixed my mid-morning cocktail.

    Am I to understand that your aunt Bertha remains opposed to the match, sir?

    "If anything her opinion has hardened, Reeves. I have spent the last hour being lectured as to what is, and what is not, acceptable behaviour for prospective Mrs Reginald Worcesters. Chaining oneself to railings — even in the better neighbourhoods — features strongly in the unacceptable pile. Top billing, though, is reserved for having one’s photograph appear in the Tatler."

    Your aunt is opposed to that illustrated magazine, sir?

    "Far from it, Reeves. Aunt Bertha is much taken with the Tatler. As are her circle. I should have said it’s not so much having one’s picture published as to the content of said picture. Being dragged off the Home Secretary by a burly policeman whilst attempting to give the former a ripe one across the mazard with a furled parasol is apparently the height of bad form."

    "Miss Emmeline is a very spirited young lady, sir."

    "That’s what I said. Give her the vote and all would be sweetness and light. Home Secretaries would be safe to walk the streets once more and the only casualties would be the purveyors of fine gauge chains for the progressive woman."

    Indeed, sir. Have you heard from Miss Emmeline since her departure?

    I have not, Reeves. Which worries me greatly.

    It wasn’t only Aunt Bertha who’d taken against the match. The Dreadnought clan and, in particular, Emmeline’s mother, had decided that her daughter could do better. Two days ago they’d packed her off to Baskerville Hall for a fortnight in the country with the hope she’d bag the heir to the Baskerville-Smythe title.

    Not that she had gone willingly. Words had been exchanged. Food had been refused, and a small barricade — which she’d manned for a full twenty-four hours! — had been constructed around her bedroom door.

    It took Reeves — perched on a ladder propped up outside her bedroom window — to persuade the young firebrand that feigned acquiescence was the best way to thwart her family’s designs.

    Reeves has always been big on feigned acquiescence.

    But I had my doubts. Reeves may have thought the family would soon tire of trying to marry her off to every Lord Tom, Dick and Algernon, but what if they didn’t? And what if she fell for one of these suitors? Emmeline had promised to write to me every day, but it was two days now and I hadn’t received a single letter!

    I am a worried man, Reeves. What if this Baskerville-Smythe chap has turned her head? It’s always happening in books. Modern girls rarely marry the chap they’re engaged to on page seven.

    Miss Emmeline is a stalwart and strong-minded young lady, sir.

    "So was Lady Sybil in The Ravishing Sporran. But one sight of a man in a kilt and she was undone, Reeves. Putty in his roving Highland hands. Do they wear kilts in Devonshire?"

    Not that I have heard, sir.

    "Well that’s one stroke of luck."

    I took a long sip of fortifying cocktail before rising from my armchair. This Baskerville-Smythe chap would probably rate an entry in Milady’s Form Guide to Young Gentlemen. What better way to discover what I was up against?

    I found the guide in the bookcase and leafed through it until I found the entry for Henry Baskerville-Smythe. It read:

    Dashing and well turned out colt. Excellent pedigree, good conformation. Unraced for two years as has been out of the country. Not expected to be riderless for long! Very fast on the gallops.

    I don’t like the sound of this, Reeves. Have you seen it?

    I handed him the form guide.

    H’m, said Reeves.

    What do you mean ‘h’m,’ Reeves? Is that a good ‘h’m’ or a bad ‘h’m’?

    I think this is a positive development, sir.

    You do? How do you work that out?

    An entry such as this, sir, is likely to attract a large number of young ladies and their families. Miss Emmeline will have stiff competition.

    She will?

    "I would expect there to be several young ladies staying at Baskerville Hall this very fortnight, sir, each with instructions to monopolise Mr Baskerville-Smythe’s attention."

    I don’t know, Reeves. I can’t bear another twelve days like this, imagining the worst. We Worcesters are men of action. Pack my bags, Reeves. We leave for Baskerville Hall within the hour.

    Reeves gave me his disapproving face. "I would strongly counsel against such a move, sir. Miss Emmeline did say that the Baskerville-Smythes had been given firm instructions to turn you away should you happen to call."

    I waved a dismissive hand at Reeves’ objections. A mere formality, Reeves. We shall go in disguise.

    Reeves coughed.

    It’s all right, Reeves. I’m not contemplating a long beard and a parrot. A false name should suffice. None of the Baskerville-Smythes have ever met me. I shall once more become Nebuchadnezzar Blenkinsop. And you can be my valet Montmorency.

    Reeves’ left eyebrow rose like a restrained, but clearly startled, salmon.

    I think not, sir. It has been my observation that families are loath to extend hospitality to strangers who arrive unannounced.

    Then I’ll introduce myself as a distant relative — one cannot turn away family. I should know.

    Reeves was still unconvinced, but at least he’d wrestled back control of his eyebrows.

    "It would have to be a very distant relative, sir. Questions will be asked, and suspicions aroused should your knowledge of family matters fall short of expectations."

    A good point. I took a long sip of my mid-morning bracer and waited for the restorative nectar to pep up the little grey cells.

    How about an imaginary scion, Reeves? Most families have a third or fourth son sent out to the colonies to find their fortune. I’ll be the product of a secret marriage conducted in the Australian outback.

    ~

    A quick perusal of Who’s Who uncovered a wealth of Baskerville-Smythes, but few of them were extant. Henry was an only son, and his father, Sir Robert — a widower for nigh on ten years — had outlived both his wife and three brothers. The only relative above ground at Baskerville Hall was a Lady Julia Noseley, Sir Robert’s sister-in-law.

    It says here that Henry’s in South Africa serving with his regiment, I said.

    "That is last year’s edition, sir. Milady’s Form Guide to Young Gentlemen did mention that mister Henry had recently returned from abroad."

    I don’t like this, Reeves. He’ll have a uniform. They’re worse than kilts!

    I read further, desperate to find a suitable distant relative of the right age. One of Sir Robert’s brothers, Cuthbert, had moved to South America. That was certainly distant enough. He’d married a local girl and had a son, Roderick. Cuthbert had then died of yellow fever and his wife had died of scarlet fever. Roderick had managed to survive both his parents — presumably because the local fevers had run out of colours — but was believed to have died a few years later when he was struck by the Buenos Aires to Mar del Plata express.

    These Baskerville-Smythes are a very unlucky bunch, Reeves. It’s a wonder there are any of them left.

    I was then struck with a notion. Roderick Baskerville-Smythe was only presumed dead. And he was born within a year or two of me. And he’d stayed in Argentina — no doubt with his mother’s family — after he’d been orphaned. It was unlikely he’d ever met anyone from his father’s side of the family.

    I have it, Reeves! Send a telegram to Baskerville Hall at once. Roderick Baskerville-Smythe has returned from South America!

    Reeves appeared not to share the young master’s enthusiasm.

    I would not recommend such an action, sir. The appearance — as if from nowhere — of a long lost and, hitherto, believed deceased, relative, would, in my opinion, be viewed with great suspicion.

    Nonsense, Reeves. It would be an occasion of great joy. Fatted calves would be called for. There’s even a passage in the Bible. Joseph, wasn’t it? The one with the oofy coat? Returning home after seven years of high living abroad and being treated by his father to a fatted calf supper? And Joseph hadn’t even had a close shave with the Cairo to Antioch express!

    In the parable of the Prodigal Son, sir, to which I believe you allude, the young gentleman was only received favourably by his father. His older brother was somewhat vexed. You would be returning to an uncle, an aunt and a cousin. I fear they would side with the older brother upon this matter, and speculate upon the motive behind your reappearance.

    They might think I was there to touch ’em for a few quid?

    Indeed, sir.

    Well, that’s easily solved. I’ll introduce myself as a man of means from the start. Diamonds, I think. No one frowns upon a rich relative turning up on the doorstep.

    Two

    A reluctant Reeves sent off the telegram announcing my imminent return to the family bosom, and off we set on the long train journey from London to deepest, darkest Devonshire. The journey was made even longer by Reeves’s disposition, which was as gloomy as the weather outside.

    That’s the problem with having a giant brain — it’s never satisfied. When it’s not picking holes in perfectly good plans, it’s wasting time searching for something better. I’ve always been a strong believer in the old proverb — too many thoughts spoil the child. Far better to come up with something that’ll get one’s foot over the threshold and then extemporise. After all, no plan survives first contact with a family member.

    We arrived in the late afternoon at a place called Grimdark — which Reeves assured me was the closest station to Baskerville Hall. All I can say is that if the Eskimos have forty words for snow, the denizens of Grimdark must have at least fifty for grim. I’d never seen such a place. Everything was damp, grey and dripping. The grey granite walls, the grey slate roofs, the leaden sky. My face and clothes were coated in a fine mist the moment I stepped off the train.

    I asked the porter if there was such a thing as a cab we could hire.

    A cab you say? B’ain’t be no cabs round ’ere. Where you be ’eading? said the porter in an accent that could only be described as below-decks pirate.

    Baskerville Hall, I said.

    The porter took his cap off to scratch his head. Ain’t seen Tom all day. They always send Tom to pick up visitors. They know you’re comin’?

    I sent a telegram. Did you mention what time we’d be arriving, Reeves?

    I did, sir. Perhaps I should send another telegram to say that we have arrived?

    The porter shook his head, sending a light spray of moisture flying in all directions. There be no telegraph at the ’all, sirs. Line stops ’ere. We ’as a boy who takes the messages back ’an forth on ’is ’orse, but by the time ’e got a message to Tom, be close on dark. An’ Tom won’t cross the moor in the dark. No one round ’ere would. I’ll ’ave a word with me brother. ’E ’as a cart, an’ if you don’t mind a bit o’ dirt, e’ll get you, and your bags, to the ’all next to no time.

    The porter’s brother, swaddled in a voluminous felt cape and perched upon an ancient cart drawn by an equally ancient horse, arrived five minutes later. We stowed our bags in the back and climbed aboard.

    How far is it to the Hall? I asked.

    Five mile.

    It was a long and uncomfortable five miles. The road turned into a rutted track as soon as it left the village. From there it descended down a steep valley to a rickety bridge over a small but boisterous river. Then it climbed up onto what our driver told us was the beginning of the high moor. Not that we could see much of it. There was a persistent mist and the occasional patch of low cloud.

    That’s the ’all, up ahead on the ’igh ground to the left. said our driver. An’ that — on the right — is Great Grimdark Mire. Whatever you do, gents, stay well clear. Bottomless ’tis. Swallow an ’orse an’ cart like this in seconds. An’ the more you struggle, the faster t’will eat you up.

    I half-expected the driver to cross himself.

    I couldn’t see where the mire began and the moor ended. They both looked the same to me. Everything to the right of the track was bleak and flat, barely a tree to be seen anywhere. An expanse of brown grasses, mosses and heather that stretched as far as the mist allowed the eye to see.

    Is this all Grimdark Mire? I asked.

    The driver shook his head. Grimdark grows and shrinks with the rain. ’Tis three square mile in the winter. A path that’s safe in July will kill you in January.

    Lucky it’s nearly May, then, I said, deciding it was time to lighten the mood.

    Been a wet spring, said the driver. Followin’ an awful wet winter.

    Ah, well. Soon be summer, I said.

    Then there’s the piskies, said the driver.

    Piskies?

    Little folk. They live on the moor. Mischievous creatures, they be. Nothin’ they like better than to trick some poor unfortunate soul into strayin’ into the mire. You take heed, gents. If you see a light dancin’ on Grimdark, or hear distant singin’ on the wind ... you stay where you be. Don’t go off investigatin’. It’ll be the last thing you do.

    Baskerville Hall was marginally less gloomy than our driver. It was one of those grey gothic piles with mock battlements and stone mullioned windows. The kind of place Edgar Allen Poe would have liked. But at least the grounds had trees and lawns — a little oasis of cultivation sitting on a raised plateau above a sea of wild and dismal browns — though it looked like someone had gone overboard on the topiary. One of the lawns was surrounded by a wild menagerie sculpted in yew.

    ~

    I trotted up the stone steps and pulled the doorbell. An age passed. I pulled at my cuffs, craned my neck mire-wards in search of piskies, and blew on my hands for warmth. Then the door opened to reveal one of the tallest and thinnest butlers I’d ever seen. Whether his hair was white or had attracted a fine dusting of snow from the altitude, one couldn’t tell. He looked down at me from a great height and spoke.

    Yes?

    Roderick Baskerville-Smythe, estranged scion of this parish, I replied. I believe I’m expected.

    Oh, said the venerable b. You’ve come, have you?

    I thought his tone a little familiar for a butler, but then I’d never been to Devonshire before. Maybe this was the local custom.

    "It’s not him, is it, Berrymore?" said a female voice from the depths of the Hall.

    I fear so, milady, said the butler.

    Well bring him in, and let’s have a look at him. said the woman, who I deduced — there being no other candidates — was Lady Julia.

    The butler opened the door wider and stood aside. I removed my hat and strode into the hallway. Lady Julia and a chap of the same vintage, who had to be Sir Robert, were peering down at me from a first floor landing.

    What ho, what ho, what ho, I said. I’m Roderick, your long lost relation — risen from the sidings, so to speak. Reports of my flattening greatly exaggerated, what? Takes more than the 4:10 from Buenos Aires to keep a good Baskerville-Smythe down.

    Silence. I was reminded of the stunned reception I received two Christmases ago when I was given the wrong cue at the Gussage St. Crispin village show. Mrs Enderby-Slapp was on stage handwringing her way through Lady Macbeth’s soliloquy when on bounced R Worcester, clutching his racquet, and uttering a cheery ‘anyone for tennis?’

    You don’t look like Cuthbert, said Sir Robert, breaking the silence.

    "No, I’m Roderick, sir, not Cuthbert. Cuthbert was my father."

    Is he an idiot? Lady Julia asked her brother-in-law. Of course we know you’re not Cuthbert. Sir Robert was pointing out that you don’t look like him.

    This was not going as well as I’d hoped. Lady Julia had a way of looking at a chap that made one feel like the lowest form of pond life.

    That’s because I’m younger, Lady Julia. More hair, don’t you know... I gripped the rim of my hat harder, and tried to stop babbling. And ... and, besides, I take after my mother.

    She was an idiot too, was she? asked Lady Julia.

    I could tell that Lady Julia was going to be somewhat of a problem. A winning smile and a breezy turn of phrase were not going to cut it.

    Don’t be so hard on the boy, Julia, said Sir Robert. "He is an orphan."

    And I was hit by a train, I added, deciding to play the sympathy card. A big one.

    You don’t look like you’ve been hit by a train, said Lady Julia. You don’t even have a limp. And why were we told you were dead?

    All good questions. I was sure I’d rehearsed an answer, but there was something of the Medusa in Lady Julia that turned all my little grey cells to stone.

    If I may be of assistance, your lord and ladyship, said Reeves, stepping forward.

    Who’s that with you? Lady Julia asked me. The train driver?

    Reeves coughed. "I’m Mr Baskerville-Smythe’s personal gentleman, milady. My master has little recollection of the train crash, or the events that followed, as he was unconscious for more than a week. One of his fellow passengers was misidentified as Mister Roderick by the investigating authorities, and it was his demise that was reported. Our Mister Roderick was thrown clear when the train hit the stagecoach and, fortuitously, landed on his head — thus escaping further physical damage."

    H’m, said Lady Julia. She didn’t look entirely convinced, but she looked mildly swayed.

    It’s true, I said. It took me months to remember who I was.

    "So why didn’t you write when you did remember?"

    Mister Roderick was destitute after the crash, milady. He had no identity, no home, and no resources. So he travelled inland to seek his fortune. By the time he regained his memory, he was hundreds of miles from the nearest telegraphic station.

    Did you find your fortune? asked Sir Robert.

    Rather! I have five diamond mines. I’m pretty big in amethysts too. So, don’t worry, I’m not here to touch you for a few quid.

    "Why are you here?" asked Lady Julia.

    To see the family seat. Do a spot of sightseeing before I toddle off back to South America. Not knowing about one’s roots can cause a big hole in a chap’s life.

    H’m, said Lady Julia. I’m not an expert on hums, but I felt this to be a warmer hum than the previous one.

    I think he may be Roderick, Julia, said Sir Robert. Cuthbert was always a little odd. And you can’t turn the boy away on a night like this. Welcome to Baskerville Hall, my boy. Berrymore will show you to your room. We dine at eight.

    ~

    Is Miss Dreadnought on the premises, Berrymore? I asked casually when we reached the door to my room.

    I believe she’s in the library, sir.

    With my cousin?

    Mister Henry is at the studio, sir.

    My heart soared. Emmeline was not with Henry! And here was my chance to see her before dinner and explain my unexpected arrival ... and change of name.

    I left Reeves unpacking and oiled down the stairs in search of the library. It took me three doors to find it. But where was Emmeline? There was a girl reading in a high-backed chair by the window, but it wasn’t her.

    Oh, I said. Sorry to disturb and all that, but I was told Miss Dreadnought was in here. Have you seen her?

    I am Miss Dreadnought.

    Really? I thought I’d met all the Dreadnoughts, but I’d never clapped eyes on this one. Roderick Baskerville-Smythe, I said, adding a deferential bow. Is your sister about? Emmeline, that is.

    "I am Emmeline, Mr Baskerville-Smythe."

    If she’d produced a wet halibut and slapped me across the face with it, I couldn’t have been more shocked. If you recall it was only last month that I’d seen H.G. Wells turn into his sister before my very eyes! Was it happening again? That ‘changing the timeline’ thingy. Reeves said the time machine was safely back in the future, but what if someone had brought it back and rewritten history again?

    Are you feeling unwell, Mr Baskerville-Smythe? this new Emmeline asked.

    What? No, I’ve just had a long day. I’ve only just arrived from South America. Um ... do you know H.G. Wells? It was worth a shot. The last time the time machine had gone missing, it had been his aunt who’d stolen it.

    "I’ve heard of

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