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    One Hundred Crazy Crazy Jokes
    One Hundred Crazy Crazy Jokes
    One Hundred Crazy Crazy Jokes
    Ebook93 pages1 hour

    One Hundred Crazy Crazy Jokes

    By Ebenezer Jackson-Firefly

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    About this ebook

    This is a compilation of one hundred (generally inoffensive) jokes, some short, some long. Each joke is given a title and is numbered, and there is a list of the jokes by title and a list by number.
    They vary in length - from very short (a couple of lines) to fairly long (more than a couple of lines).
    After the main body of jokes there is a section which explains each one for readers who might not have fully understood the joke.
    This could be useful for readers who are not native speakers of English - or even readers from other parts of the English-speaking world where the humour (or humor) of some jokes may be incomprehensible or opaque or even missing.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherEbenezer Jackson-Firefly
    Release dateAug 20, 2015
    ISBN9781311579218
    One Hundred Crazy Crazy Jokes

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    • 1/5
      Absolutely boring! The tipoff should have been the preening and stilted intro. Skip this, you'll be glad you did.

    Book preview

    One Hundred Crazy Crazy Jokes - Ebenezer Jackson-Firefly

    One Hundred Crazy Crazy Jokes

    By Ebenezer Jackson-Firefly

    Copyright 2015 Ebenezer Jackson-Firefly

    Smashwords Edition

    ISBN: 9781311579218

    Text of the front cover: One Hundred Crazy Crazy Jokes / Purported Comments by Readers / Rather pedestrian if you ask me A PEDESTRIAN WHO WASN’T ASKED / Run of the mill in my opinion AN OPINIATED MILLER / I’m not crazy. Greetings, good Sire! Tell me, are you a tree or the King of Prussia? KING GEORGE III (1738-1820) / Perfect material for sermons A RURAL VICAR (1811-1899), SPAXTON, SOMERSET, ENGLAND / Could be a lot crazier AN UNFRIENDLY CRITIC / Couldn’t be much crazier THE SAME CRITIC AFTER RECEIVING SOME BANKNOTES IN A BROWN ENVELOPE / Some people spell ‘crazy’ with a ‘k’ A KONFUSED KOMMENTATOR FROM KOLORADO / You`d be crazy not to buy this book EBENEZER J-F (A WELL-KNOWN WRITER OF JOKE BOOKS) / Ebenezer Jackson-Firefly

    This book should not really be copied as its author, a certain Mr. Jackson-Firefly, is currently living in a situation which is only alleviated by having lots of money. (The technical term for this unhappy condition is ‘grinding poverty’, I am informed) (He lives in a remote conifer plantation, with only the rusting hulk of an abandoned Austin Seven to keep the weather off him). From his rudimentary motor home he says that in theory the book should be purchased rather than be copied and freely distributed.

    We appreciate your cooperation in helping Mr. Jackson-Firefly live happily ever after. With your support he can continue his one-man campaign to find every joke in the world and make them available by the hundred to the humour-starved hordes.

    The Editor.

    LIST OF CONTENTS

    1. INTRODUCTION (1 % of the book)

    2. CONTENTS: JOKES BY TITLE (6 % of the book)

    3. CONTENTS: JOKES 1401-1500 ACCORDING TO NUMBER (6 % of the book)

    4. ONE HUNDRED JOKES (70 % of the book)

    5. DON’T GET IT? THE JOKES EXPLAINED (20 % of the book)

    And here the book begins:

    1. INTRODUCTION

    This is the thirteenth compendium of jokes by Ebenezer Jackson-Firefly, the alter ego of the noted author of Classical Greek poetry, ribald rhymes and poison-pen letters, ‘Anonymous’).

    His first twelve joke books appeared sporadically from April 2012 onwards, and have received great critical acclaim by literati and also from learned people of the literary and intellectual persuasion (or, more succinctly, literati). (‘A deluge of bilge which never seems to stop’, ‘humorous to Martians maybe’, ‘why self-publishing should never be allowed’, ‘the awful paradox of humour without humour’, ‘is there no law against publishing more than one joke book?’).

    All these enthusiastic and favourable comments on his work have spurred him on to come up with ‘One Hundred Crazy Crazy Jokes’. Once again, he includes one hundred jokes in his collection – he would never cheat his readers by falling short of one hundred, as he is a man of great honour in spite of his foibles and eccentricities. (His criminal past is an invention of his detractors – the counterfeiting of coins was done more as a hobby, and his wrongful imprisonment is, for him, a badge of honour rather than something he is ashamed of).

    Mr. Jackson-Firefly is very proud of the fact that his name is known far and wide all over the world – you may type it into an Internet browser on a computer in any part of the globe and this name and his various publications will flood the screen.

    A future project of his is to translate all the books into English. This will be a great challenge for him as they are all written in English anyway, but there is no hurdle which Mr. Jackson-Firefly cannot surmount.

    Mr Jackson-Firefly insists that I write an introduction which is worthy of his work, by which he means a text which is overly long and thus seems to be saying things of importance while doing nothing of the sort, as in Victorian collections of sermons and biographies and cookbooks. I had already run out of inspiration and some minutes ago and was staring blankly at the half-completed page before me when I chanced to look out of the window of my dining room, and this happy circumstance has given me fuel to continue.

    For Mr Jackson-Firefly was to be seen on a hilltop visible from the aforementioned window with a couple of semaphore flags, and by means of a semaphore message he informed me that he intends to produce a FOURTEENTH volume of one hundred jokes, after this one, which is number thirteen. His enthusiasm and capacity for long-term planning are boundless.

    ‘How is this?’ you may ask. It is because, just as it seemed that all the world’s existing jokes had been located and noted down, a happy discovery by the genial author has meant that many jokes of the ancients have now become available to us in the twenty-first century (or the twentieth century, in which Mr. Jackson-Firefly still resides.).

    The story is this. As we know, a vast hoard of jokes was found in Egypt by Lord Carnarvon in 1929 in Upper Egypt, on various stone tablets. But then they disappeared. The whereabouts of these plundered tablets has remained a mystery until some weeks ago when Mr. Jackson-Firefly was watching a television programme about the life of sparrows in a back garden in Ipswich. He noticed that the paving slabs used on the patio in this back garden were Lord Carnarvon’s missing stones. He contacted the British Museum and they rescued the stones and took them to the capital of England, which is at present a city called ‘London’ in the county of Middlesex. Here he was able to examine and translate them as they were being cleaned and shaped for use as flooring in the British Museum cafeteria. He has modified and adapted the jokes to make them acceptable and pleasing to modern readers and they will be included in next opus, provisionally titled ‘One Hundred Jokes from Ancient Egypt via Ipswich’.

    As in the other volumes, we have added a section ‘Don’t Get It?’. The notes in it

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