The Ice Boat (On the Road from Brazil to Siberia) Volume 2 of Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll – Pulling Down the Pants of Nick Kent and Jack Kerouac

The Ice Boat

Volume II

Lazlo Ferran

PRINTING HISTORY

First Edition

To Ellen

Copyright © 2014 by Lazlo Ferran

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Chapter One

It’s because you are docile, said Rosa, pulling on a Gitanes.

I know. Well… I’m not docile. I just don’t see the point of conflict. That’s all. I’ve always preferred der harmony, said Dolores.

Well, the world is not a sweet and beautiful place, darling, said Rosa.

It’s not as bad as you think it is, Dolores replied.

Doh. You dreamer. This annoyed Dolores.

Listen. You think all der men are shit. And you shit on them too.

I do not! Rosa replied, indignant.

You do. You screw them all out of more money than they can afford, and you give them less.

It’s true, said Rosa, smirking. They luff it though. They want to be exploited. And anyway, why shouldn’t I exploit them? Men always exploited me, before.

What happened? he asked.

Oh. You don’t want to know. I could tell you so many stories.

Well, tell me one.

Well, there was this guy… married, okay…

While Rosa talked, Dave’s mind drifted. As usual, somebody had made a spliff from the abundance of grass that seemed to be always available in the flat. They had already smoked it. But the previous night Barbie had returned with a new distraction; acid.

Dave had only tried acid once. It had not been a good experience. It had a reputation for being dangerous to the more sensitive individuals. He guessed he was one of those.

I was a student and I thought he loved me, Rosa began. "I did everything to stop his wife from finding out. I didn’t wear perfume and made sure I didn’t smell too much of soap. I changed der patterns of when we met. Oh, yes, and I checked his clothes for my hairs when he left. I listened when he talked about his wife, and he talked to me about der things at work. We really liked each other…We held hands. And I was just thinking about whether I should ask him to leave her on not, when, one day, he took me out in der car, he said it was a surprise, and stopped at a house. He said ‘This is it.’ And I thought it was a surprise so I went inside. This woman was looking at me, smiling. ‘This is my wife,’ he said. I couldn’t believe it! I think my mouth was actually open. I said, ‘What’s going on?’ and he said his wife and he wanted sex vid me. I told him to, ‘Fuck off!’ and I ran back to the car. I just made him drive me back and I didn’t see him again. Is that weird?"

"Yes, it’s weird," Dave replied.

It’s insidious, though, all this, she said, indicating the room around her.

What do you mean?

Well. I get more and more clients wanting me to control them, and now I want to control everything in my life. I don’t think I’m actually like dat, though. It’s just habit.

Yeah. I’m der same, said Dolores. Dave asked me; do I like Bondage, and I said, no. It’s true, I don’t, and I don’t like being abused, or even restrained, but it’s like I am being remoulded. Like a tyre with the tread made one way. I find it easier to go that way now.

Dave smiled. He was hardly listening. He had been impressed, since arriving in Holland, by how good the Dutch were at speaking English. But now he was even shocked. Rosa had used an English word, ‘insidious’, which he didn’t even know the meaning of. He had heard it, but didn’t really know what it meant. His mind was spiraling away, thinking about it and words. Although he wrote songs, and even poetry sometimes, and he was proud of his ability to do so, he had also made a point of not using big words. He said it was snobby, to use big words, and it alienated some of your audience. He also made a point of not looking up words in a dictionary but always finding a simpler word. He had believed that this was just his attempt to communicate better but now he wasn’t so sure. Now, he was thinking that maybe he might have had an aversion to big words for a long time. He also remembered that he had made a point of not reading books for many years, during the period, his teens, when most people are reading a lot of books.

…cynical. What are you Dave? Are you cynical? asked Dolores. Dave hadn’t been listening.

No, I think I should be more cynical, but unfortunately I don’t think I am – not enough.

In the morning, late, around twelve, when he knew Dolores would be just waking up, he took in some breakfast to her on a tray; toast, marmalade and coffee. She opened her eyes and looked at him from the sheets.

Mm.

Hi. Brought you breakfast, he said brightly. … you old tyre, he added.

She snorted. He meant it as a joke and he could see she thought it was funny. He sat on the bed and after a few minutes, grumpily, she sat up. She yawned and stuck her hands in the air, stretching. She was wearing a blue nightie with delicate little flowers on it.

Thank you, she said, and smiled.

She ate the toast and drank the coffee while they talked, and then lifted the corner of the bed.

Get in, she said.

Then she curled up beneath the covers herself. He put the fire on, moved the tray to the dresser, and climbed into bed beside her. He wriggled a bit and moved his legs around to feel for anything at the bottom of the bed. He half expected a used condom to be there.

Don’t worry. I put on der clean sheets before I go to bed… you should know that; you clean them.

She turned on her side, facing the wall and he fitted into her shape, putting his arm around her waist. He thought she smelled very nice. For a few minutes, he was happy.

Then he felt desire creeping over him, making his blood pound. He hesitated for a long while before shifting his hand down over her arse. She made no sound. He lifted up the hem of her nightie, which was near her waist anyway, and slid his hand under her panties so that it lay flat against the flesh of her arse. She made a whimper and for a nervous moment he thought it was in protest. Then he understood that it wasn’t.

That’s nice, she murmured.

He lay like that for what sometimes seemed like forever, and he thought he even fell asleep at one point.

He told her about his dream, the tower, and asked her what she thought about it.

I’m not good at analysing dreams, David. Shall I tell you mine?

Go on then.

There was dis little seal baby, and I kept trying to catch it, but it was shlippery, and kept getting away.

That’s me.

I think so, she said.

Eventually they had to get up and he had to return to his room to cook and wash.

The month of April was more of the same, except warmer. Dolores wouldn’t let him touch any more of the interesting parts of her body but he was happy to have as much as he did. The carpet didn’t arrive and fed up with waiting, she cancelled and ordered carpet from another company. That delivery was also delayed. Bing the Bong put in some more appearances as they gradually smoked their way through the huge bag of grass.

Dave had saved nearly one third of the money he needed for the fake passport by working in the bar and mixing for bands, but he was almost permanently tired and had lost some weight as he wasn’t spending anything on non-essential food. He had trimmed his moustache and beard, but not cut them off, and Rosa had trimmed his hair.

There’s a letter for you.

Herman usually called out if there was any mail when one of them passed. Barbie had picked his up and threw it into Dave’s room as she passed.

I’m in a hurry. See you later, she called.

See ya.

Dave was living like a hermit, or at least some kind of underground creature, moving perpetually in and out of the lines of washing and piles of clothes and only venturing out to shops. He finished folding the pile of washing lying on the bed and sat down to see who the letter was from. It could only be one of a few people; his father, his brother or Anna. They were the only ones with his address. Looking at the writing on the envelope he knew it was his father. He thumbed open the airmail envelope and started reading the neatly written, well-composed letter.

Hi Dave.

Everything is fine here…

It went on to say how much his father missed him, and when was he coming home? It also said that his father was worried about him, and what was the problem with the paperwork; could he help? There was a short paragraph from Ewa at the bottom with some kisses. Dave sighed after reading it. He felt threatened by it and quickly tucked the letter behind some books. He stuck on an Oasis album while he worked; Dolores let him borrow her CD player from time to time and she was away for a few days visiting her Dad.

When Barbie came home later she stopped outside his door.

I’ve been on a date! He bought me this. She pointed at the leather mini-skirt she was wearing, doing a twirl at the same time. What do you think?

‘God, she’s a gorgeous woman,’ he thought. He also felt a twinge of jealousy.

Nice, he said. Is he rich?

A bit.

The letter and this both irritated him and he went to bed like a grumpy bear that night.

The next day dragged and the next, until the afternoon, when he knew Dolores was due back. When she finally arrived, dragging a suitcase up the stairs along the corridor and into her room, she looked tired and irritable. He left her alone for a while. Later that evening – she had no clients – she came into his room announcing that he should get out more. He didn’t know what had brought it on but he kept quiet. She showed him a magazine with films showing in the cinemas and asked him if he wanted to see a film called ‘Carrington’. He hadn’t heard of it, so she translated the synopsis.

Sounds interesting. Yeah – let’s see it. It was about the Bloomsbury set of Artists in England, and he could see it would interest him.

Yes. Okay.

Good.

She left and he idly flicked through the magazine, and found that it also had TV listings, including those for that evening.

Dolores! Dolores!

What? he heard, faintly, from her room.

They’ve got ‘2001: A Space Odyssey’ on TV!

He got to the TV, switched it on, and tuned to the right channel. It was clearly about one third of the way through but it was such a good film that he wanted her to see it anyway. She stuck her head through the doorway.

What?

‘2001’ is on.

What’s that?

You gotta see it. It’s brilliant, especially the end. I can’t explain it now. Just sit down and watch.

Okay. Make me a coffee and I’ll watch. She sounded weary. But wait!

She returned a few minutes later with a small, plastic bag of something.

What’s that? Dave asked. He handed her the coffee.

Magic mushrooms, she replied. She rustled the bag to entice him.

Oh! Nice.

She handed him the bag. He unsealed the top and took out one of the small, cone-topped mushrooms. He held it up gently between his finger and thumb and rotated it:

’Psilocybe semilanceata’; the most beautiful mushroom in the world! It’s not called Liberty Cap for nothing!

Ha! You sound like one of those nature presenters on TV!

Ha! Shall we make some tea with them?

Quick then.

While the film progressed, Dave made some tea with the mushrooms and they both drank it.

The film had Dutch subtitles, but the original soundtrack, so he could understand it too. During one of the many slow scenes of the film, Dave spoke up:

I took these before with the band; Stu, Tom and Paul. Great! We were rehearsing in North Wales. It was November but for some reason it was hot and sunny!

While he talked, he sat down to lean against the end of the bed. She moved to sit between his legs so that she could lean on him.

Probably the mushrooms, she replied.

Shrooms we call ‘em. Yeah! I loved ‘em. It’s a gentle high, and very natural. I felt really joined with nature. We walked along the cliffs and every so often we would go back to the cottage and have the most amazing jams!

What did you make the jams from? Can you make it with mushrooms?

Ha! Ha! No, not that sort of jams. Music improvisation is called ‘jamming’.

Oh! Ha! Okay.

Wait I feel something. I am gonna roll another spliff.

I do not like der computers, she said at the part where HAL plays up. It’s creepy. Why is he shinging dat song?

Dave had to explain about the song HAL sings.

As they reached the climax of the film they were also reaching the climax of their mushroom trip.

Oh God, Dave yelled. I forgot, we’ve got to roll a spliff. This bit is so psychedelic. You’ve got to see this.

Shall I get Bing loaded up?

Yes. Good idea. I’m not sure if I can do this in time.

Bing was operational in time so they both had a few puffs to get them started. By the time the final sequence was well underway, Dave had a spliff rolled. It was ragged, but serviceable. He lit it and passed it to Dolores. He was already well away, and the colours and sounds were as amazing as ever.

What’s going on? Wow! she said.

The mushrooms made the vivid colourscape jump out of the screen at them. Dolores actually ‘swerved’ to avoid a bright burst of approaching red.

Great innit?

Fucking hell! she said.

Fuck! she added, a few minutes later.

If this TV had decent colour, it would look even better.

It’s amazing, she said.

They heard a thumping next door.

Oh that’s Barbie, he said.

Pity we can’t tell them to be quiet, she said.

The music from downstairs was interfering slightly too but only because of the vibrating cutlery in the drawer. Dave sometimes got fed up with the music; if you went to bed before 1 am, it was almost impossible to sleep, but most of the time, he just switched off from it.

I don’t understand. Why’s he an old man now? And why’s he looking at himself. Oh, he isn’t. Is he?

I dunno.

When the film finished, Dolores commented that she didn’t really understand the end, but he reassured her that this was what most people think.

I’m going to bed Dave. I’m really tired.

How did it go? How was your Dad?

Oh yeah. He’s fine. Asked a lot of awkward questions. Listen… Can we go and see a film together? Soon?

Sure. Good idea.

See you.

Night, night.

***

Dave and Dolores arrived at the cinema in glorious sunshine, the following Wednesday. It was nearly summer, 21st May, and people were beginning to be seen dressed in T-shirts, smiling and laughing. The queue was short, probably because it was an Art House film, but as they queued clouds passed over and the sky began to look angry

God, I hope we get in before it rains, Dolores said.

The trees rustled either side of them on the pavement. People passed around and through the crowd. He paid for the tickets, smiled at the gorgeous blonde cashier and then immediately felt guilty. The cashier glanced at Dolores guiltily too but Dolores made no sign of caring.

They each bought a large coke with a straw. Dolores insisted on a large box of popcorn. Dave bought a more modest packet of chocolates.

I luff dis bit just before the film, he said. The whole ritual of it. Front row? he said as they crept into the darkened chamber of the auditorium.

Are you joking? We won’t see anything.

"What do you mean? We’ll see everything really big!"

No. Two or three rows back is okay. Okay?

He was losing sight of her. She was just a shadow ahead of her and he nearly dropped his Coke while trying to catch up. Then he had lost her. He found that he was just to sit down next to somebody else.

Sorry. He grinned even though nobody could see his face.

Dolores, he whispered loudly.

I’m here. She waved at him and he shuffled down the row of seats, to sit down beside her. She was already munching her popcorn. There was an old 1970s pop track playing.

I recognise this, she said, and hummed along. He didn’t. Then, the adverts and trailers started.

Sound is good, he said.

I should be for dat price, she replied.

God, why did she do it? Kill herself like that, she said.

They were just coming out of the cinema. Dave noticed a pretty blonde girl leaning against the cinema wall. He glanced at her but she didn’t notice him.

I dunno. Fed up with life, I suppose.

I don’t think I could ever do that. Do you?

No.

She looked into his eyes. He was sad, but not that sad.

What now? he said. He was thinking of, maybe, a coffee bar.

I’ve got to go to work soon. We’ll have to go back. Sorry.

Oh. Okay.

They took a tram back. Dave loved the novelty of using trams; the curious way they went round corners, so suddenly and smoothly.

He went out early the next day. He hadn’t been able to sleep and wanted to get the shopping before lunch to give him the whole evening off. On the way in Herman stuck a letter for Dolores in the top of a bag of shopping that he was carrying. It looked like a business letter. He had a feeling that it was about the carpet.

Oh no, he thought.

He waited until 2 pm when he thought she would be up and then knocked on her door.

Dar?

It’s me.

Oh. Come in.

Are you still in bed?

Umh. She smiled up at him.

Letter for you, he said, waggling it at her.

Oh. I’ll open it later.

She held up the bedclothes for him to get in.

He hesitated.

I want you to, she said.

He shut the door, pulled his trousers and shoes off and got in. She hadn’t let him touch anything but her arse for a few weeks so he hadn’t really been sure she wanted him in bed with her.

He curled up behind her with his nose nestled in her luxuriant hair.

He felt himself getting hard immediately. He wanted to push it against her to let her know it was there, but he knew that she knew. For a while he just lay there, his hand caressing her shoulder, her nightie pushed up off her arms. She put her hand on his but didn’t stop him moving it. He couldn’t resist any longer so he slid his arms down her side, along her waist and on to the rump of her bum. He moved his hand under her panties to feel the flesh of her cheek and he could hear her breathing evenly.

Then, slowly, gently, he moved his hand round to her stomach and slid it under the front of her panties. He felt her fur and moved his finger down till it was slightly wet. She rolled on her back, giving him more access and smiled up at him. She opened her legs slightly and he moved his fingers inside her, gently.

Your eyes are blue, she said

And so are you, he said.

No, I’m not, not at the moment, she said.

They lay still, looking at each other for a few moments.

I’ll have to get up, she said. But thank you for waking me up so nicely.

She climbed out of bed, leaving him there. But he quickly followed her and got dressed.

***

Fancy another one? she said two weeks later.

Another what? he said.

Film.

Oh. Okay. What?

‘Toy Story.’

Sounds terrible. Go on then… Let me read the reviews.

He held out his hand in mock-weariness. She dropped the magazine in front of him.

Oh, that really does sound terrible, he said.

Well. What do you want to see?

Give me ten minutes.

She went off and left him.

When she came back he suggested, ‘The Usual Suspects’.

Let’s see. She read the reviews. How about the ‘La Haine?

Umh. Okay, good! He said it as if it sounded promising. You don’t like ‘The Usual Suspects’, obviously? Okay. Let’s see that, he agreed.

In the event, they turned up ten minutes late. At the last minute, Dolores had produced two tiny tabs of paper. Each was an LSD tab, a tiny tab of paper soaked in lysergic acid and then dried.

LSD! Dave muttered. I tried that once too. The most powerful hallucinogen known to man! Or to me anyway! I nearly went mad! Didn’t like it. That’s why I refused when Barbie offered me her latest drug the other day.

"Yeah. It’s some of hers. I like it! You don’t have to, if you don’t want to…"

I feel more relaxed with you though. Maybe I will. He slipped the tab into his mouth, hesitated and then swallowed it.

What effect does acid have on you then? Dolores asked on the tram.

"Phew! Colours, smells, touch; all mingles and you don’t know what is going on!"

Hm. It just makes me feel warm and nice.

Because they were late, they had to choose again. They chose ‘Twelve Monkeys’, which turned out to be a good thing, as it was a totally unknown quantity to both of them and so proved more interesting.

Reminds me of where I grew up, she whispered, commenting on the bleak housing estate at the beginning of the film. When the first shots were fired, she suddenly grabbed his hand – he’d had his hands pressed together