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    If Only!
    If Only!
    If Only!
    Ebook72 pages1 hour

    If Only!

    By L Tait and D Jenkins

    ()

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    About this ebook

    Hi! Perry Williams here, bringing you a faithful account of what happened up the local ice rink every week when my Dad, younger sister and I got together! We met some fun people during those weekly trips to the rink, and some odd bods too!  As I'm far too busy to write books, I enlisted the help of two friends to do the work for me! I just gave them some notes and told them to get on with it! That's it! I'm offski...

    (19,920 words approx).

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherL Tait
    Release dateNov 7, 2015
    ISBN9781516348381
    If Only!

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      Book preview

      If Only! - L Tait

      If Only!

      L Tait and D Jenkins

      Published by L Tait, 2015.

      While every precaution has been taken in the preparation of this book, the publisher assumes no responsibility for errors or omissions, or for damages resulting from the use of the information contained herein.

      IF ONLY!

      First edition. November 7, 2015.

      Copyright © 2015 L Tait and D Jenkins.

      ISBN: 978-1516348381

      Written by L Tait and D Jenkins.

      Also by L Tait

      The Van Helsen Series

      Frenemies

      Home Truths

      The Reunion

      Loose Cannon

      Satan's Game

      Artistic Differences

      Keeping Secrets

      Identity Crisis

      Undecided...

      Standalone

      If Only!

      School Daze!

      Random Quest

      I'm Not As Green As I'm Cabbage Looking!

      The Work Experience

      Also by D Jenkins

      If Only!

      Table of Contents

      Title Page

      Copyright Page

      Also By L Tait

      Also By D Jenkins

      If Only!

      Also By L Tait

      Also By D Jenkins

      Introduction

      Hi there! Perry Williams here! For a good few years, my Dad, younger sister Dana and I used to go ice skating at the local ice rink. Every Thursday night, our merry little band would prepare to get ready to go out and partake in a little bit of exercise! It was like being part of one big family that met up once a week. We met some characters there I can tell you! So, maybe I should introduce you to a few! Firstly, theres Derek, whos one of the resident DJs who works there. He had a peculiar affectation of saying tonight at the end of every sentence! And he used to make out with his girlfriends in the DJ box when he should have been working! He was small in stature, bit Mediterranean looking, and possibly the only person who still thought waistcoats and white jeans were trendy! With him as ever, was Neil, his trusty DJ sidekick, and he tended to call people over by shouting Woohoo! or Yoo Hoo! Sometimes he just did that normally! This was the man who though Blue Savannah by Erasure sounded like the Blue Spanner song! Ill give him that, because it does!

      Then theres Marianne, the ice steward, who was ever on hand to help up many a faller, and also give me a telling off for things I haven't done! As you will soon see! And, then there was the general factotum, the caretaker, whose name is Andy, but we secretly called him the old fart with the glasses, but in an affectionate way! Also worthy of a mention is Tinsel Boy, so called because, every week hed rock up with a different coloured piece of tinsel adorning his hockey boots! He was full of fun! And a bit of a troublemaker to boot! (Did you see what I did there? Boot? Skating? Anyone?) Never a week went by without something happening, and I would always wish that I'd stayed at home and watched T.V instead! Which is why the titles of each memorable Thursday evening relate to T.V shows Id have been watching had I stayed in! So, now you've got the general idea, I'll get started, so, sit back, and relax! Or, rather, I'll let my writer friend here Lilian do all the hard work! She owes me a favour! Besides, she's way better at this sort of thing than I am! When I first handed her the notes I wanted her to work with, she said, 'Perry...are you insane? How am I supposed to make your trips to the ice skating interesting?' and I said, 'Use your imagination!' to which she replied, 'The last time I checked, I didn't have one to use.' And on it went! I won't bore you with the details of how I had to plead, and beg on bended knee, before she'd agree to do it! Lilian did insist on two conditions, one, that she got the credit as main author on this piece, and two, that her friend could get an author credit too, as, well, she was the imagination behind it all, otherwise, it might have been a much shorter book! So...I'm off now, because Ive got better things to do with my time, and I'll leave you in the capable hands of Lilian and her imaginative friend! Enjoy!

      Perry Williams

      If Only I'd stayed in and watched The Bill

      So, another Thursday night, and another night out at the ice skating. As usual, when Top of The Pops came on at 7pm, that was our cue to get ready and be waiting at the door within this half hour window. Then, we were off! One of the rules of the evening was that, each week we took turns with who got to choose the music for the car journey to and from the rink. This was indeed a great honour and we always tried to outdo each other with our carefully compiled mix tapes! Yes it was the era of the cassette! I always dreaded it when it was my Dad's turn to pick to choose the soundtrack to our night out! Unfortunately for me, it was! And his cassette of choice? Some whiny country and western guy singing about some good looking person and cooking! Or something! This set the tone for the evening when we arrived at the rink, to find that some kind of Jamboree was taking place! Scouts,Cubs, Beavers, the entire Baden Powell appreciation society, the junior section, had completely taken over! Derek was spinning his discs,(not a euphemism!) and Dana and I moaned at the prospect of not being able to move for little people! I changed into my skating boots and I had a thing for tightening them so much that it would give me cramp in my shins for the first half hour of the session! Meanwhile, Derek was trying to be like a superstar DJ trying his hand at putting together a mix to appeal to the young ones but, it

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