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    Onward and Forward: My Wife's Battle with Pancreatic Cancer and Learned Truths About Cancer Care in the United States.
    Onward and Forward: My Wife's Battle with Pancreatic Cancer and Learned Truths About Cancer Care in the United States.
    Onward and Forward: My Wife's Battle with Pancreatic Cancer and Learned Truths About Cancer Care in the United States.
    Ebook203 pages4 hours

    Onward and Forward: My Wife's Battle with Pancreatic Cancer and Learned Truths About Cancer Care in the United States.

    By Glenn Lofy

    ()

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    About this ebook

    In 2013, Shelley Lofy, a wife, mother and occupational therapist was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. This book, written by her husband, chronicles the "Cancer Care Ride" that Shelley and her family experienced. From a first-person perspective, every aspect of the experience is covered through word and pictures. This book also chronicles the eye-opening experiences related to alternative treatments for cancer, how much better they worked and how much more sense they make than the current treatments utilized. Shelley Lofy was an amazing person with an incredible light inside of her that can in no way be diminished.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherGlenn Lofy
    Release dateDec 9, 2015
    ISBN9781311986627
    Onward and Forward: My Wife's Battle with Pancreatic Cancer and Learned Truths About Cancer Care in the United States.
    Author

    Glenn Lofy

    Glenn Lofy is a fifty-year-old male who lost his wife due to the complications caused by the use of chemotherapy to treat his wife's pancreatic cancer. He now spends a great deal of time attempting to educate others on the alternatives to cancer care that only make sense. By profession, he is an occupational therapist, Certified Hand Therapist, Manual Certification in Manual Therapy, Certified Lymphedema Therapist and a Certified Kinesiotaping Practitioner. He has a son who will soon be attending Indiana University-Bloomington.

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      Book preview

      Onward and Forward - Glenn Lofy

      Onward and forward:

      MY WIFE’S BATTLE WITH PANCREATIC CANCER

      And learned truths about Cancer Care in the United States

      by

      Glenn Lofy

      Smashwords Edition

      Published on Smashwords by:

      Glenn Lofy

      South Bend, IN 46615

      Onward and forward:

      My wife’s battle with Pancreatic Cancer

      And learned truths about Cancer Care in the United States

      Copyright 2015 by Glenn Lofy

      Cover design by Rebecca G. Pendergast

      Editing by Kathy Cummings

      All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

      Smashwords Edition License Notes

      This ebook is licensed for your personal use only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author’s work.

      This book is dedicated to my wife, Shelley Kristine Lofy.

      She was and is the love of my life.

      Thank you:

      To Allen and Elizabeth Washko—you guys are awesome My Son, Colin Lofy

      Wendy, Doug, Zach and Haley Brenner

      Rich and Diane Reth

      Heather Gollatz-Dukeman

      Tammy England

      Rebecca Pendergast

      Kathy Cummings

      Blythe Landry, you helped me cope, I can’t repay that. Thank you.

      Burton Goldberg for information that saves lives.

      Dr. Filiberto Munoz of the San Diego Clinic who opened my eyes and provides REAL hope to those with cancer.

      Sunnyside Presbyterian Church for their support

      The staff of South Bend Orthopaedics

      Thank you GOD, for giving me the strength to write this and kicking me in the rear when I needed it. Thank You.

      CONTENTS

      Foreword

      1. The Beginning

      2. The Diagnosis

      3. Decisions

      4. Treatment

      5. Results

      6. Alternatives

      7. Home Treatment

      8. The End of Her Journey

      9. How Do I Know It Will Work?

      FOREWORD

      I’m amazed at how the world moves forward despite the losses it endures. The same is true for all of us living in this world. We experience tremendous loss and still manage to move forward with our day to day lives out of necessity if nothing else. But the tragedy in this movement forward would be to forget or diminish the astronomical impact that these people had on our lives; how their influence or intervention makes us into the people who must carry on.

      I never want to have my wife forgotten. It’s been a year and 6 months and I’ve found that, at times, I forget how she laughed, how it sounded, how it warmed me and made me feel whole.

      I recall her mission to make me a better human being who would be more thoughtful and still have an opinion about wallpaper. Husbands out there know exactly what I mean about the need for change often employed by our wives. I remember it being really annoying but still, at least, I did attempt to change to make her happy; and also because, like it or not, some things just made sense, though I never willingly admitted it.

      Everyone who knew my wife can attest to how amazing she was. She lit up any room she entered. She had an energy that was contagious and I’ve had dozens of people tell me how simply knowing her changed them forever. What a legacy, to make people different by touching their lives. But you see it when you look at her. Pictures reveal her personality. Her eyes are alight with energy and caring while her smile reveals a happy soul. She was a cornerstone of my life.

      We have a son named Colin and he is now 18 years old going into his Senior year in high school. He has experienced in the past 5 years the loss of his grandmother (my mother died of ovarian cancer), his Uncle Bob (my wife’s uncle and another amazing human being), and now his mother. The story will come later in this book and is very personal but needs to be told. My son moves onward and forward attempting to make peace with the hand that has been dealt to him and pledging to enter the world of medicine in hopes of someday finding a key to fighting cancer. It’s interesting how we all are shaped by the events around us. He is why I endure.

      My wife was an occupational therapist in the nursing home setting. She had as much drive and devotion to her job as she did to her home and family. She always wanted to be a better therapist to help people live their lives after illness or injury. She was very good at her job. Ask her co-workers. She was always available to listen and help people. I met some of her patients when they came to her viewing. They did not have to come but they all told me about the effect she had on their lives and how it forever changed them and gave them the courage to carry on. They all came to say goodbye.

      Shelley was also very close to her immediate family. Her father Allen, her mother Izzy (Elizabeth); her sister Wendy and Wendy’s husband Doug and their children Zach and Haley. Not a single day went by that my wife did not speak to her parents or sister. Often multiple times a day. Family was so very important to her.

      So now you understand that I do not want my wife’s battle or her amazing personality to be forgotten, to know the kind of person she was and the effect she had on people around her. I’d like you to know her amazing strength and incredible bravery. She would want her battle with cancer to be told, so that others could learn not only about the her fight but also about the shortcomings of cancer care in the United States.

      Shelley would have wanted everyone to know more about cancer care, so that each individual and family could also ask more pertinent questions and not be pulled into the Cancer- Care River that flows only where Cancer Protocols direct.

      Keep in mind, 1 in 4 people in the United States will die of cancer!!! REALLY!!! That is scary as hell. Imagine sitting with your friends, talking about the workday and then BOOM!,

      Beth has cancer and may die within the next few years or sooner. Now, I fully understand that I am generalizing much of my information and specific types of cancer have longer and shorter longevity than other types, but come on kids, 1 in 4.

      I’ve mentioned that my mother had passed away from ovarian cancer five years ago but had actually fought ovarian cancer for four years. I watched her go through surgeries and chemotherapies. I’ve watched and listened to her doctors tell her she was cancer free. I’ve seen her excitement at those announcements and then her bitter depression when 12-16 months later the cancer returned in one area or another. My mother was 5’3 tall, 110 pounds with biceps that rivaled Arnold. She walked and exercised as best she could even during her chemotherapies. Yet still she contracted and died of cancer and its treatment. If the medical community had actually been a bit more honest with my mother, would she have chosen a different path from constant chemotherapy that eventually left her with a moderate dementia or chemo-brain? Or would she have just chosen to LIVE out the remainder of her days doing what she could, being the person she was without the severe nausea and pain of chemotherapy and Neulasta injections. Sometimes, I think medicine strives to do the right thing, as they see it, even when the best guess" chemotherapy agent may be worse than the disease.

      Suffice it to say, I will not mention any specific hospitals or physicians in this book because I really don’t feel like getting sued any time soon, especially since I’m trying to save enough money to send a child to college on a single parent salary. But I will be talking specifically about my wife’s treatment, its effects, her experience and the alternatives out there that simply make sense. This story is, of course, told from my perspective and what my memory holds of the situations. Most of these memories are vivid in my mind and I will never forget the powerful impact they’ve had. If, which is often the case, someone I know remembers it differently, I apologize. Now, Onward and Forward.

      Ready.

      Set.

      Go.

      1.

      THE BEGINNING

      I first met Shelley Kristine Washko while working at a hospital in South Bend, Indiana. I had moved from Wisconsin a few years before for the sake of a decent job and had been working for two years before returning to school for a Baccalaureate in Science to become a registered occupational therapist. I worked at the hospital during my vacations and when I didn’t have classes. I was a single, twenty-seven-year-old man who was very clumsy talking to women but pretty good talking to his friends who were mostly women. It was weird but then again, so was I.

      I was working in acute care at the hospital and had just entered the department, when I was mugged by my coworkers. By mugged, I meant that they wanted, very hurriedly and frantically, to tell me about a student who was doing an internship in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). This unit took care of babies at high risk due to low birth weight, prematurity, or other unpleasant problems. It was a high intensity area but worth every minute. I asked what the big deal was and they told me that she was wonderful, very cute, very sweet, and that I had better ask her out if I had a brain in my head. They were always looking out for me but I had no intention of asking any girl out on a date. I was poor and very focused on my studies at the time. They told me that I should, at least, meet her and see if there was a spark. I pretty much said, whatever.

      I went to work for the morning and came back into the office around noon. When I walked in there was a petite, kind of cute, young woman talking to the therapist of the NICU. I saw her profile and took a second just to check her out. Yes, she was cute but really intense. Victoria, the therapist for the NICU, saw me and introduced us. She turned to face me and that’s when I saw that she had reddish hair styled like Bozo the Clown. I kid you not. Seriously, her hair stuck out on each side of her head like a true eighties hair style. I was turned off immediately. She smiled and said hello, I said hello and that was the extent of out interaction. Definitely NO spark at all.

      I worked at the hospital through my spring break and Shelley and I never really talked at all. My manager in acute care, Judy, asked me if I had met her and I said yes but also confessed that there wasn’t any real spark there at all. She told me the young woman was really sharp and seemed like she would be a very good therapist one day. I thought that was great but wasn’t really sure what that should mean to me. She just smiled and told me not to close the book on her. I just smiled and said there really wasn’t even a book to read on her.

      While I was back at school, I was told through the grapevine that Shelley was completing her internship and that she might be offered a position at the hospital in acute care. I thought that was good for the department because she really was a very smart, good therapist already.

      I returned to the hospital after my semester of classes completed and headed down to the office where I would begin working for my summer break. There were already two therapists at their desks and we exchanged pleasantries and talked about what the caseload was going to be like. Then they asked me if I’d heard that Shelley had been hired. I said that I had heard rumors. They asked me if I was going to ask her out and I said I’m honestly not that interested in her. They asked why and I explained that I thought she was pretty intense and her wacky hair was definitely not a turn-on. Both of the therapists jumped up in my face and excitedly told me that she didn’t have the big hair anymore. She apparently had gotten her hair cut pretty short and every one thought it was extremely cute. My attitude was, okay great. I also asked why in the world would a new grad be interested in an old fossil like me. If she was pretty cute then I’d likely behave like a total idiot and I knew that I was not exactly Mr. Model. They told me that they had been telling her about me for a month. That I was a nice guy. I rolled my eyes, sat down at my desk and let my head collapse on my schedule book.

      Miss Washko came in about 3 minutes before start time. She entered like a bundle of energy, smiling ear to ear, saying HI to everyone. I looked at her and felt the world drop out from underneath me. She had short hair. I saw her and

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