Jesus With a Skirt On
By Gary Black
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About this ebook
Jesus With a Skirt On, by Gary Black, is an inspirational collection of true-life stories that challenge and inspire, while in the sweetest of ways, whispers to your heart, "me too." It's a must read...a book that hugs the soul, massages the mind, and leaves a boatload of wisdom behind. Chapters include uplifting insights about family, love, loss, relationships, identity, adversity and more!
Gary Black
Gary is Teaching Development Director at a 12,000 member church in Lexington, KY, where he has served for 23 years. He and his wife Linda, have two grown children and one grandchild. He describes himself as "a runner, writer, life coach, builder, mechanic, contemplative, pastor and teacher." He is passionate about helping others reach their potential and achieve their goals and dreams. Brennan Manning, Henri Nouwen, Thomas Merton and C.S. Lewis are some of his favorite authors. Contact info: www.twitter.com/gary__black or www.facebook.com.garyblack or black9087@hotmail.com.
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Jesus With a Skirt On - Gary Black
Introduction
As long as I can remember, people have asked me for advice about making decisions and solving problems. Maybe it’s an inborn trait or just the way God wired me, but one of the great joys of my life has been helping people discover a better path, direction, or solution to sticky situations and difficult challenges, or to simply breathe in the crisp, fresh air of hope. We can face anything as long as there’s hope.
I’m more of a pastor than a writer; called to serve the local church, but I’m thankful that a friend suggested that writing can be a method of pastoring. Paul was a writer and David was a writer,
he said, Share what you’ve learned. People can relate.
Solomon said, A person finds joy in giving an apt reply, and how good is a timely word.
(Proverbs 15:23 NIV). That’s my hope for this book. Included are things I’ve learned through a lot of real-life experiences. If sharing them somehow enriches your life that would make me smile.
Gary Black
Lexington, Kentucky December 2015
Chapter One: Family
in search of a dad
Several years ago I made a visit to the local Elementary School to have lunch with my daughter, Julie, who was in the second grade. I met her at her classroom door, and along with the rest of the students, we walked to the cafeteria, got our lunch, and sat down at one of those small tables sized for second-graders.
When I finally managed to squeeze in my 6’2" frame, Julie sat down on my right…and a sandy-haired girl with bright eyes and a wide smile, sat on my left.
What's your name, honey?
I asked.
My name’s Elizabeth, but my friends call me Beth.
Well, I'd like to be your friend,
I said, "and I'll be happy to call you Beth, but Elizabeth sure is a pretty name!"
Okay,
she said, "You can call me Elizabeth."
As I ate lunch with this new little friend, she began to tell me about her life, and I had no idea a little girl could've lived so much, in seven or eight years. Out of the blue she said, Mister, I've never seen my real daddy.
Oh, I'm sorry,
I said, thinking that perhaps her father had passed away.
She continued, Yep, he left my momma and me when I was just a baby. I've never seen him at all. I don't even know what he looks like.
You know something,
I said, I'll bet he's handsome, because you sure are pretty.
She giggled, squirmed a little…and then continued, I've got a stepdaddy, but he's real mean.
How's that?
I asked, (almost hating to ask).
Well, he hollers at me all the time, and he gets drunk a lot and he cusses really bad. My momma drinks too, 'cept she just drinks screwdrivers and stuff like that…not the kind you get from a toolbox, but the kind you mix with whiskey,
she informed me.
My heart was starting to bleed for my new little friend…and before I could respond, thankfully she changed the subject. I just had a birthday!
she said.
Well that's nice,
I said, Tell me about it!
Well, I got a cake with candles on top!
I said, Wow…what else did you get?
Well, I got twelve dollars, ‘cept I only got to keep ten, ‘cause my stepdad made me give two of my dollars to him.
Well I'm really sorry,
I found myself saying again, but I’ll bet you'll have fun spending the ten dollars!
Yeah, I guess, she said.
There was a long lull in the conversation, and then Elizabeth said, You know something?
I said, What?
She said, You sure are tall!
I said, Well, I guess I am, compared to a little girl like you!
Another lull in the conversation. You know something else?
I said, No, what?
I wish you were my daddy.
I said, Elizabeth…you know something?
She said, What?
I wish I were too.
I walked the girls back to their classroom that day, holding my daughter’s hand, but as we made our way down the hall…I felt another little hand slip into mine—it was Elizabeth's. When we got back to the classroom I gave my daughter a hug and said, Julie, I've got to go, I'll see you after school,
but as I turned to walk away I felt a tap on the back of my hand and when I looked around, Elizabeth lunged forward, wrapped her arms around my leg and hugged me tightly; then she smiled and scampered into her classroom.
I fought back tears all the way to the car, then they flowed. I said, God, here's a little girl in search of a dad…and she's come up empty…it's not fair.
He gently reminded me that He’d be her Dad, just as He’d been mine, and He reassured me that nothing in all the universe can change His love…for me, you, or a little girl named Elizabeth.
Thanks, Father,
I prayed, and thanks for Elizabeth.
raising kids
In a large church like the one I serve, I’m often asked to speak to different groups on a myriad of topics. Recently I was asked to give some advice to parents about what to teach their kids. A dozen or so thoughts immediately came to mind; not very conventional, to be sure, but here’s the list:
• Teach them the value of listening. As Robert Moss said, "The greatest gift you can give someone is the purity of your attention.
• Give them a love for reading.
• Teach them to excel in writing. Francis Bacon once said, Writing makes a man exact.
I’ve always believed that. I used to tell my kids that I didn’t really care much about their grades as long as they embraced the importance of reading widely and writing well.
• Teach them to have convictions; not yours, their own.
• Teach them integrity. By the way, you do that with your life more than your words.
• Teach them that they’re not the most important person on the planet. That honor belongs to your spouse, second only to God.
• Teach them to dream, always dream and believe in hope.
• Teach them about grace…God’s grace…and yours. Encourage them to reflect that grace with their own lives.
• Teach them not to evaluate their goodness by judging others’ lack of goodness…and to never talk about the love of God with a clenched fist and red face.
• Teach them to serve others. The happiest people I know…give their lives away.
• Teach them that God loves them, always…unconditionally…and so do you…and nothing in the universe will ever change that
• Teach them that prejudice is a game for fools. Remind them that we all have the blood of Adam coursing through our veins and even though we look differently on the outside, we’re all the same.
Notice what I didn’t advise parents to teach their kids. I didn’t tell them to say:
• You need to have a great career, make a lot of money and be well-known.
• You deserve anything you want.
• You’re entitled to everything others have or receive.
• You’re better than some people.
• Your political or religious viewpoints must always be the same as mine.
• You need to act and think like everyone else.
• Base your self-worth on what others think about you.
• Put all your hope in religion instead of Jesus. (Note: no church ever died on a Cross for anyone).
• Believe that knowledge is more important than wisdom.
• Retire wealthy someday and have a beautiful place down south where you can sit on the porch during the days and evenings and do nothing.
• Constantly worry about other’s expectations, including mine.
• If you ever have children, be sure to raise them like prized cattle, as if nothing else in the world matters.
So, moms and dads…just some food for thought. But whatever’s on your list of do’s and don’ts, may I suggest that you enjoy everyday of your life with your family. Seriously. You never know when that opportunity will end.
Bob Benson, one of my favorite writers, said it so eloquently in his poem, Laughter in the Walls.
I pass a lot of houses on my way home
some pretty, some inviting—but my heart always skips a beat
when I turn down the road
and see my house nestled against the hill.
I guess I’m especially proud
of the house and the way it looks because
I drew the plans myself.
It used to be large enough for us—
I even had a study. Two teenage boys now reside there.
And it had a guest room —My girl and nine dolls
are permanent guests there.
It had a small room Peg had hoped would be
her sewing room—Two boys