The New Priest.

The New Priest.

A very soft crime/fiction novel written by

Carl Delprat.

Copyright ©2015 Carl Delprat

26/12/2015 (Second Edition.)

Cover painted in acrylic by Carl Delprat. (18/12/15).

Yes you can judge a book by its cover.

ISBN 9781311529084

A requite for all those boring hours spent sitting and kneeling while these strange ceremonies took place. Then ... come to think of it, what a great opportunity it was for inventing new stories.

And as always, a special thanks to Herb and Carmel for all their great help.

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Any coincidences with actual people are only accidental, this is fiction and all the names came out of the ether.

Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

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Other excellent stories by Carl Delprat are ~

31 LAMAN STREET. Is where an evil ghost wreaks havoc amongst the locals.

THE THREE TREES. An international serial murder mystery set in the 1950’s.

GIRL SOLDIERS. A futuristic global adventure where the girls have taken over.

ALL STRINGS ATTACHED. Find out what happens after a mysterious glowing object is discovered in a coal seam. Based on Steven Hawkins ‘string-theory.’

DREAMMAN. Is where a young man uses his dreams to fight for good over evil.

THE STORY OF ANNIE. The long life of a MG-TC roadster.

THE TWO BROTHERS. A crime and passion novel with a serial killer on the loose.

A FEED OF FISH WITH FREDDY. A chocolate box selection of short stories.

THE HARPSICHORD MAN. A tale about a criminal harpsichord builder.

WHAT ABOUT MADELYN? Two political rivals are at each other’s throats full time.

BAD BOY BILLY. A young woman's train journey is interrupted, and then all the trouble begins.

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For me as a child, Catholic Priests were always a dangerous curiosity, when I was a young lad there were many children, (in fact some were schoolmates) who were sent away from their families to be institutionalized, brainwashed and then mentally sterilized.

To me at that time this was a devious system of insane slavery, and thankfully my clan never followed suit. I never forgot one scary old priest informing a classroom of little ones, Give me a boy up to the age of seven and I will have him for the rest of his life.

So whatever happened to these 'offerings up to God'?

After completing the fundamental tuition they were given the unpaid jobs of professional marriage advisors, family planning instructors and spiritual guidance specialists and then let loose on their parishes.

Now I admit, there were a many who did an excellent job operating under such strict guidelines, but there were others that just couldn’t cope.

I often wonder what nature would want with such an abnormality, where in the beehive or termite nest would this particular deviation would be tolerated; allowing celebrant freeloaders to dictate the tribes' mindsets. So perhaps this is all part of being human, and these assorted religions certainly know how to cater for our cultural tastes.

This story is set in the fictitious Newcastle industrial suburb of Carrick and the year is 1955 where my first 'new priest' arrives and really tries his best. The second 'new priest' appears soon after and the two of them are beset with a Pandora’s box of problems. But these are resilient chaps and perform a splendid job with most of their challenges. All in all you will witness the experiences of nine new priests and their marks on the community.

As a bona fide storymaker everything written in this novel was spontaneous, this is the only way I know, and just like you ... I get to be entertained right up to the very last word.

So ... let's turn on the juice and let the dam thing loose!

Contents

About Carl Delprat, Storymaker

Other titles by Carl Delprat

A word from the author

Part One.

Chapter 1: Morning has broken.

Chapter 2: An unexpected funeral.

Chapter 3: Home visits.

Chapter 4: Unexpected troubles.

Chapter 5: Double trouble at Saint Bartholomew’s.

Chapter 6: Finally time for a talk.

Chapter 7: That cemetery situation.

Part Two.

Chapter 8: Time passes and so do people.

Chapter 9: Working with Father Chapman.

Chapter 10: Father James the 5th new priest.

Chapter 11: Business is booming.

Chapter 12: A place of pilgrimage.

Chapter 13: Taking care of business.

Chapter 14: A fine place for Janet.

Part Three.

Chapter 15: As the years roll on by.

Chapter16: Return of the prodigal son.

Chapter 17: What to do with Brian.

Chapter 18: Off we go again.

Chapter 19: The robbery.

Chapter 20: Slowly slowly catch the monkey.

Please note: As with all my stories, … indicates talking and ‘…’ signifies thinking.

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Part One.

Chapter (1). Morning has broken.

Morning is wonderful. Its drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.

Glen Cook.

**********(1)**********

Six o'clock mass was over at last and now a nice breakfast would be waiting in the presbytery.

Father O'Leary stood on the side of a busy Newcastle Road and waited for a break in the traffic.

'The same sorry collection all turned up once again and they all took communion, yes life's misfortunes every one of them, old George with his face cancer, Mary and her family problems, Margaret's drinking troubles, and old Mrs Lamington hoping she could just die and get it all over with, ... and lets not forget poor William? Yes poor William one of God's ... no I should not say that ... one of life's mistakes ... and then there was that foreign woman again, Greek or Italian who sits at the back of the church and at communion ... she always smells of garlic.

So I got out of bed at 5:00 am just to say mass for only six parishioners ... and that damn altar boy was late as usual.'

Father O'Leary found that break in the traffic . . . then hurried across the road.

'The Bishop promised me a relief, promised to me two months ago ... I'm the only senior priest in Newcastle that doesn’t have at least one novice, let alone a relief!'

Lovely breakfast Mrs Simmons, yes you do make a splendid breakfast, your husband must be a happy man indeed."

"That's a laugh, ... my husband is nothing but a complainer, and they told me that for a fact before I married him ... and they were all so right."

She waited with hands on hips while he wiped a piece of bread across the plate.

"Now Father, I will leave you corn beef sandwiches in the fridge for your lunch, and I will drop by with a hot-pot for dinner, now is there anything else before I go?

Your washing and ironing are all finished with and packed away. I can't do the vacuuming on Tuesday; my mother has to see the doctor ... so it will be Wednesday for this week only, and do you have any letters for me to post?

Oh, Mary-mother-of-God!"

'The poor man's fallen asleep already, all that hard work of saving people's will finish him off if help doesn’t hurry up and arrive.'

**********(1)**********

Father O'Leary took confessions on Wednesdays and Saturday mornings, he always looked forward to them, all good entertainment and a way of keeping in touch.

Well it would be if not for a few locals ... locals like Mrs Whitebridge and Mrs Burgess and Mrs Springer and especially Mrs Brown.

Yes Father O'Leary sometimes wished the Devil would come and fetch the lot of them.

"I'll give them a penance they will never forget! Blast this damned traffic, now how long must I wait?"

The old priest munched through the last quarter of a corn beef sandwich and looked at the horse racing results. Back home in Ireland he'd hoped to be a jockey, well perhaps an oversized jockey. However his family had other ideas and provided the church with one Priest (that be himself), one Marist Brother, One Nun, (yes young Mary had become a Benedictine Nun in the U.K. before she died of tuberculosis,) and the rest ... well the rest of his brothers and sisters had decided to be filthy fornicators and make more and more children for the church.

'Benny should be around soon to take my bets, yes take my bets and then say his confession, and I always like to hear that fellow's sins, he does the best sins in my parish he does ... and he's not frightened at all to admit them.

No not like Mrs Whitebridge, no that woman refuses to admit that mortal sin she does, ... goes and does with that devilish Benny, and even when I prompt her.

Well she's going to hell ... and then . . . perhaps that brown scapular around her neck will save her, and the water from Lourdes, yes Mrs Whitebridge believes in insurance she does ... but as for not in telling a truthful confession?'

"Now that's despicable!"

"Right Benny, now that's ten shillings for 'My Happy Valley' at Caulfield in the third race and five shillings on 'The Pride of Monmouth' in the second at Randwick.

Now what will be your confession on this occasion?"

Mea-culpa, mea-culpa, mea maxima cupla. Bless me father for I have sinned, it's been one week since my last confession and I wish to tell you my sins ...

Oh come on man ... out with it!

"Father, I have fornicated once again with a lady I have ... and its the same very lady I fornicated with last week, yes you know of her don't you Father?"

"Yes my son ... Mrs Whitebridge, now where and how did this mortal sin take place this time?"

"In Woolworths father, it happened while we were both shopping, she gave me that look again Father, and then lifted her dress and exposed some petticoat.

Yes that look again