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    Single Parenting: a Plight or Bliss?
    Single Parenting: a Plight or Bliss?
    Single Parenting: a Plight or Bliss?
    Ebook78 pages1 hour

    Single Parenting: a Plight or Bliss?

    By Pepsy Apolo Bahlekazi

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    About this ebook

    Synopsis of: SINGLE PARENTING – A PLIGHT OR A BLISS (author, PEPSY BAHLEKAZI)

    This book seeks to highlight the various reasons, which people uses to fulfil their desire to raise children often without considering the various factors that would bring about undesirable results for the children. The kind of advice that I offer is in form of introspective judgement for anyone who undertakes this privileged task of raising tomorrow’s leaders. The ideas expressed in this book are deliberately neutral and seek not to bind anyone to any form of philosophy but are rather left open-ended for one to take any decision with an open mind. The reader is expected to digest and reflect without being burdened with the sense of having failed as a parent.
    This book is best described as a ‘pocket reference’ meant to be easily remembered for its short and precisely expressed ideas. It is not meant for everyone; rather it is meant for a few that enjoys metaphors and other forms of concealed language. The reader has to apply his/her mind quite meaningfully in order for him/her to embrace or reject the ideas expressed here.
    This pocket reference on parenting is NOT meant to be bigger than a regular A-5 in size. I envisage reading (hereof) and completion under three hours tops. When taken on a long journey, the reader should be in a position to complete it before reaching his/her destination and still be left with ample time to reflect and ponder a bit deeper on its ideas.
    END.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherPepsy Apolo Bahlekazi
    Release dateJan 28, 2016
    ISBN9781311891174
    Single Parenting: a Plight or Bliss?
    Author

    Pepsy Apolo Bahlekazi

    I am a 47 year old male born in the Eastern Cape Province of South Africa in a small town called Sterkspruit. I am married and together with my wife Pinkey we are raising two sons, ages sixteen and eleven. Post my high school education I did a few courses which include business and Christian ministry courses. I have been living in Johannesburg for the past twenty one years. I love writing and have few unpublished works and "Single Parenting - a plight or bliss?" is my first attempt at publishing my works.

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      Book preview

      Single Parenting - Pepsy Apolo Bahlekazi

      Single Parenting - a Plight or Bliss?

      By PepsyBahlekazi

      Published by PepsyBahlekazi at www.smashwords.com

      Copyright © 2016 PepsyBahlekazi

      Table of Contents

      Preface. 3

      Chapter 1 - What is parenting all about? 7

      Chapter 2 - Planning to go solo. 14

      Chapter 3 - Your child and your love life. 19

      Chapter 4 - The good and the not-so-

      good parent. 27

      Chapter 5 - Can it be that my child is a

      victim of abuse? 36

      Chapter 6 - What lies between single

      parenting and dual parenting?: Mass

      parenting – (i) at the orphanage; (ii) the

      shelter and something else. 48

      Chapter 7 - Children’s Perspectives on

      parenting. 58

      Chapter 8 - Is all parenting good and Godly? 66

      Chapter 9 - Parenting by choice Versace

      parenting by default. 77

      Chapter 10 - A child left to himself ...

      (Bible, Proverbs 29 v 15). 84

      Chapter 11 - Which parenting is ideal? 92

      Chapter 12 - Moving beyond parental

      blunders – forgiveness. 98

      Chapter 13 - Parental modelling. 122

      About the Author. 132

      PREFACE

      The culture or trend of single parenting is fast becoming a fashionable undertaking!

      The roots of this willow are embedded in a deep fertile soil of free-from-responsibility mentality for the men folk. A culture is a brainchild of one person or a small group who upholds and defends it almost against all forms of opposition until they gain at least one convert. Depending on a number of issues, a culture can be labelled good or bad. Take for instance a woman whose philosophy of marriage has long been hardened against the idea of tying a knot but rather prefers to single-handedly raise her own kids, this means that to her a man is nothing less than a mere sperm donor. This is single parenting by choice. Of course this philosophy like all others is influenced by a number of issues which might include among others upbringing or nurture; personal experiences; exposure to different people’s viewpoints and a host of other things.

      When a man on the other hand buys into this kind of philosophy, the results are nothing short of catastrophe. Men are by no means homemakers! An attempt at it is just a good recipe for disaster.

      It is one thing for a woman to take up the so called traditionally men’s jobs and quite another for a man to try to raise a child as a woman would. A man has a unique sense of touch, when he touches his kids that touch is very different from that of a woman. His hugs are more firm and that is something no woman can buy even with all the gym equipment at her disposal. The tenderness of a mother’s touch, even if she is a body builder, conveys a different message to a child’s mind and emotions from that of a father’s touch. These are some of the things that cry foul against single parenting especially single parenting by choice.

      Unbalanced parenting is where the other parent is missing in a child’s life and that loss is irreversible. Those who think they meet all their children’s needs are just fooling those poor children into believing that one gender possesses all the qualities found in both genders. More and more studies are rediscovering that the CREATOR was right by making them two different genders in the first place. Psychologists recommend that children should be brought up by both genders in order for them to lead normal adulthood lives.

      Stereotypes are often perpetuated by people who deliberately refuse to see that in the greater spectrum of life people of all kinds have similarities and differences irrespective of their educational backgrounds or religious exposure and belief. To say that single parenting is responsible for all the spoilt brats that run around in our world is to be short sighted and playing ignorance. All kinds of parenting practices have their own inadequacies.

      Chapter 1

      What is parenting all about?

      Parenting is God’s honour given to humanity for administering His laws, principles and precepts in moulding this new life you brought into this world. Donating your twenty-three set of chromosomes does not make you a parent; however, it does qualify you to be one. Beyond the biological interaction between two parties in the conception of a child, there exists a world entirely independent of biological relations or connection. Those who have adopted children clearly demonstrate and better emphasize this point to the fullest.

      The biological connection between a child and its parent is a delivery vehicle that carries

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