Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Gurued Out: Parenting When Parenting Gurus Fail
    Gurued Out: Parenting When Parenting Gurus Fail
    Gurued Out: Parenting When Parenting Gurus Fail
    Ebook182 pages2 hours

    Gurued Out: Parenting When Parenting Gurus Fail

    By Gabriel Diamond

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    This book is for all those parents who have tried and hopelessly failed with parenting gurus
    You have tried everything, doctors, specialists, sleep consultants, books and online forums - even alternative therapies like naturopaths.
    Right now your child suffers from any combination of:
    •Eczema
    •Reflux
    •Constant flu like symptoms with a snotty nose, red inflamed lips and cheeks
    •ADHD type behavior where they experience volatile emotions
    •Impossible to get to sleep
    •Speaking and learning issues
    Don’t worry you are not alone! There are lots of fantastic health professionals who can help treat your symptoms. But this is one of the big failings of medicine that we too often look to treat the symptom rather than the cause. For example have high blood pressure? No problem, take a tablet that thins your blood and avoids the need to change your lifestyle and lose weight. High cholesterol? Try some statins rather than lose weight and eat healthily.
    This book is not about “curing” your child with alternative medicines and therapies. It is about using medically valid methods to relieve the underlying cause of your child’s issues, not simply the symptoms. The book also seeks to reaffirm what you already know. That it is right to trust your instincts when parenting your child. That you do not need to live by hard rules or routines instinctively feel wrong. By following the advice of endless gurus often our parental instincts are dulled. This book seeks to reawaken them.
    We are a couple who felt we simply had to write this book, after all we have learned raising our own children. We both hold MBA’s and are only interested in using medically valid methods to treat our children. Our children suffered numerous health and behavioral problems. Endless doctors were consulted, including, Pediatric Ear Nose and Throat surgeons, Pediatric Gastroenterologists, Pediatric Dermatologists, Pediatric Immunologists, Allergists, multiple sleep consultants – hell even a baby chiropractor. We have tried it all, along with lots of free advice from friends and family.
    After years of futile effort reading all manner of books, sleeping methods, medicines and medical procedures we had become gurued out. We knew that our children were not fundamentally bad, or even sick, there was simply an underlying problem that none of these gurus could figure out. It was only through chance that we met an incredible doctor who confirmed our suspicions. With her help, along with a few other medical professionals, lots of research and trial and error, we managed to gradually figure out the underlying cause of our children’s problems.
    We hope our journey can help you with managing your children and give you the confidence to have faith in your own instincts. Too often our doctors are scared to recommend lifestyle changes, not because they are not effective but because doctors know how unlikely it is for a patient to make the required lifestyle changes. We so often look for medicine in a pill or a procedure and not within ourselves. But to a desperately tired and overwhelmed parent like yourself, the measures we propose are but small sacrifices.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherGabriel Diamond
    Release dateJan 31, 2016
    ISBN9781310059506
    Gurued Out: Parenting When Parenting Gurus Fail
    Author

    Gabriel Diamond

    We are the parents of 3 beautiful children. Both of us hold MBA's with Gabriel being and Engineer and Sarah a Physiotherapist, and now a healthcare project manager. In raising our children we consulted an endless number of professionals from GP's sleep consultants to a variety of medical specialists like allergists and paediatric dermatologists. We even tried alternative treatments like child chiropractors and naturopaths. Nothing worked as our children continued to sleep poorly, suffer eczema, reflux and ADHD type behavior. Finally we focussed instead on on our children's symptoms but their cause. We are passionate about the health of both children and empowering parents to trust their own instincts when parenting. We feel parents are inundated with advice, which ultimately dulls their confidence in their own parenting instincts. Our book seeks to reaffirm faith in a parent's instincts and empower them to take charge of their child's issues.

    Related to Gurued Out

    Related ebooks

    Relationships For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      Change Can Bring Strain

      Sep 27, 2023

      Change Can Bring Strain
      3 min read

    • Article

      Parenting With A Twist!

      Sep 2, 2020

      Parenting With A Twist!
      3 min read

    • Article

      Got You!

      Nov 2, 2020

      Got You!
      3 min read

    • Article

      Just Breathe Easy!

      Mar 7, 2022

      Just Breathe Easy!
      4 min read

    • Article

      Coping with CHANGE

      Feb 27, 2022

      Coping with CHANGE
      2 min read

    • Article

      Peri - Natal Anxiety

      Dec 16, 2020

      It’s happened! After trying, waiting and hoping for a long time you’re finally pregnant. Maybe it’s an unplanned pregnancy, but a very welcome surprise. It’s an exciting time for you and your partner. There’s a lot to think about, and if you are like

      4 min read

    • Article

      Dealing with DIVORCE

      Nov 13, 2022

      Dealing with DIVORCE
      3 min read

    • Article

      Q & A

      Nov 18, 2019

      Medical social worker Breastfeeding consultant Email your question for our experts to: letters@yourpregnancy.co.za. Please note that experts unfortunately cannot respond to each question personally. The answers provided on these pages should no

      3 min read

    • Article

      The Anxious Mind

      Dec 2, 2021

      The Anxious Mind
      11 min read

    • Article

      The ‘baby blues’ AND BEYOND

      Mar 5, 2023

      The ‘baby blues’ AND BEYOND
      6 min read

    • Article

      Your Dilemmas……

      Oct 28, 2021

      Angelina Nizzardi is a health coach and counsellor who supports others in managing stress and anxiety. She is founder of women’s wellness brand, Green Goddess, too. (greengoddesswellness.com) Q My parents are both in their 80s now and I’m consumed by

      3 min read

    • Article

      Ask The Experts

      Jul 10, 2020

      Ask The Experts
      6 min read

    • Article

      Ask Dr Louise

      Sep 25, 2020

      Q I have two daughters and my 10-year-old is a handful. She has a strong personality and always wants things her way. She struggles to sleep at night and becomes anxious at times. When I’m talking to someone she tends to chip in and say whatever come

      3 min read

    • Article

      12 Ways to Mess Up Your Kids

      Oct 20, 2011

      12 Ways to Mess Up Your Kids
      14 min read

    • Article

      Ask The Expert: Eating Disorders

      Feb 15, 2022

      Dr Rachel Evans is a chartered psychologist specialising in eating disorder (ED) recovery How did you become a specialist in eating disorders? I did a degree in psychology and a master’s in health psychology and then developed an eating disorder. Thi

      1 min read

    • Article

      Hush Little Baby!

      Mar 4, 2020

      Hush Little Baby!
      3 min read

    • Article

      What Parents Should Do

      Oct 29, 2016

      If you’re worried about an adolescent and aren’t sure what to do, heed the advice of Fadi Haddad, a psychiatrist and the co-author of Helping Kids in Crisis

      1 min read

    • Article

      Always In My Heart

      Mar 7, 2022

      Always In My Heart
      3 min read

    • Article

      Your Dilemmas…

      Mar 12, 2020

      Jodie is an author, parent advocate and campaigner who works in the special needs field. She has three children with additional needs and writes at autismwithlove.co.uk Q Both my children have additional needs and as much as I love them, I find that

      3 min read

    • Article

      Q & A: Vora Ellen

      Mar 4, 2022

      Why this book? Why now? When I meet a patient with anxiety, on some level, I’m excited. There is so much low-hanging fruit—so much we can do to improve anxiety. We were already in an epidemic of anxiety before the pandemic, and it’s fair to say the

      3 min read

    • Article

      Man Down

      May 29, 2020

      Man Down
      5 min read

    • Article

      Q&A: Ellen Vora

      Mar 4, 2022

      Why this book? Why now? When I meet a patient with anxiety, on some level, I’m excited. There is so much low-hanging fruit—so much we can do to improve anxiety. We were already in an epidemic of anxiety before the pandemic, and it’s fair to say the b

      3 min read

    • Article

      That’s The Way It Is!

      Dec 3, 2020

      That’s The Way It Is!
      6 min read

    • Article

      Life Post-lockdown

      May 18, 2020

      Life Post-lockdown
      5 min read

    • Article

      The Invisible Load

      Mar 3, 2022

      The Invisible Load
      9 min read

    • Article

      Baby Blues

      Feb 26, 2024

      Baby Blues
      2 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for Gurued Out

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      Gurued Out - Gabriel Diamond

      Table of Contents

      1.0 A Mother’s Instinct

      2.0 To The Man With A Hammer, Every Problem Is A Nail

      3.0 One Big Experiment

      3.1 So If Flavors Are An Issue Why Use Them?

      3.2 The Feingold Experiment

      3.3 Food Intolerance or Food Allergy

      3.4 Prevalence of Food Intolerance

      3.5 Lactose and Dairy Intolerance

      3.6 Soy Intolerance

      3.7 Non Celiac Gluten Intolerance

      3.8 What the Elimination Diet Involves

      4.0 Some Recipes

      5.0 Living The Elimination Diet

      5.1 Educating Toddlers and Children

      5.2 Cross-Contamination In Production

      5.3 Food Challenges

      5.4 Managing Swimming

      5.5 Occasional Blowout or Accidental Food Chemical Consumption

      5.6 Alternate Diets

      5.7 Cosmetics

      5.8 Vitamins and Minerals

      5.9 Medications

      5.10 Managing Eczema

      5.11 Processed Foods You Can Eat

      6.0 Managing Reflux, Inner Ears & Eczema

      6.1 What is Reflux?

      6.2 Preventing Ear Infection & Effusions

      6.3 Grommets

      6.4 Sleeping Patterns

      6.5 And If I Do Nothing?

      6.6 Breast Feeding

      6.7 Tongue Tie

      7.0 Behavior

      7.1 Children Self Directing Their Activity

      7.2 You and Your Child’s Natural Rhythm

      7.3 Healthy Children Want To Please

      7.4 Discipline and Tantrums in Children

      7.5 Less Is More

      7.6 Screen Time

      7.7 Toilet Training

      8.0 Sleep Principles

      8.1 Sleep – Infants and Young Toddlers

      8.2 Sleep – Toddlers & Children

      8.3 Sleep – Outside the Home

      9.0 Managing Your Support Network

      9.1 Managing Friends, Family & Childcare With Diet

      9.2 Other Reacting Children

      9.3 Looking After Yourself

      Conclusion

      References

      References Text copyright © 2016

      All Rights Reserved

      

      

      

      

      

      

      

      

      And the end of all our exploring

      Will be to arrive where we started

      And know the place for the first time.

      TS Elliot

      1.0 A Mother’s Instinct

      "Every time I've done something that doesn't feel right, it's ended up not being right."

      Mario Cuomo Former Governor of New York

      You have tried the books, forums, other parents, your family and friends, tried sleep consultants, spoken to endless doctors and you are at your wits end. Despite continual advice (both solicited and unsolicited) you find you are trying to simply manage your children rather than enjoy them. You cannot remember the last time you had a decent nights sleep, your children - whilst you love them dearly - are hard to control, yet you cannot pin point what is wrong with them. Your baby or child may have reflux, be a poor sleeper, not feed properly, have skin conditions such as eczema, cradle cap and/or severe nappy rash; your child’s speech may be delayed, they may exhibit behaviors resembling ADHD or oppositional defiance disorder. 

      The constant challenging behavior and lack of sleep soon becomes overwhelming. Like a drowning man clutching a snake, you will clutch at any person who can help. You search online only to be confronted by a torrent of content, you read books and implement their strategies but to no effect and you seek out all manner of paid advice which professes to be able to solve your problem but inevitably fails to live up to its promises.

      No matter how desperate you are, for peace, for normality, for sleep, you are not alone. More importantly it is not your fault, you have done a terrific job raising your children, even whilst you may think and maybe many of your family and friends think (or you know secretly think) you are failing, exaggerating or just not coping.  Comments such as ‘all babies cry’ and ‘parents have been doing this for thousands of years’ are not helpful.  We know because we have been there. It has taken us over four years, countless, yet often fruitless visits to doctors and a host of medical specialists.  Endless hours trawling parenting forums, parenting books, tears and the maddening feeling of knowing in your heart of hearts that there is a logical reason for your child’s distress – you just do not know what it is.

      After a four year journey, three children, dozens of General Practitioners (GP’s), pediatricians, pediatric dermatologists, pediatric immunologists, allergists, endless scans, blood, faeces, urine testing, sleep consultants, child chiropractors, speech pathologists and naturopaths, we arrived at a simple yet powerful conclusion: that a mother’s genuinely held instinct is often right. You have a natural rhythm with your child, which provides you insights into your child no guru can ever gain. 

      Too often your instincts are ignored or dismissed by everyone, sometimes even your loving partner. Guru’s so often profess such confidence in their solutions so who is your partner going to trust, an experienced medical professional or a hormonal, sleep deprived and desperate mother? One of the most common examples of this is children who will not sleep. If your child is putting on weight and has benign symptoms it is often hard for a doctor to diagnose your child with an illness. Mother’s will therefore be informed how crying is normal and that all babies cry and can be difficult to get to sleep. However a mother’s instinct often tells her there is something being missed, that their child does have an underlying issue, that there is a difference between when their child is crying and not sleeping due to discomfort compared to normal behavior.

      This book attempts to put the elusive finger on your child’s problem. We describe our journey, how after so many gurus, one retired doctor with a passion for distressed children visited us at home and spent 3.5 hours with us, believed us and what is more diagnosed many of our problems. This same doctor we have worked closely with to expand on much of what she has learned in treating unsettled children for over 40 years. 

      We tell you how some of the most common ailments in children are often poorly diagnosed in the medical world, with the superficial symptoms being addressed but not the underlying cause. We will discuss how you can interact with your child to help them discover their own world, in their own way to make them more independent, easier to manage and ultimately happier. Most of all we will reaffirm what you already know, that your instincts are right, that you are right to have confidence in them and they are at the heart of solving your child’s problems.

      We appreciate the last thing you need is yet another guru telling you what to do. We are not here to do that, we are here to provide you with medically valid, evidence based solutions for you to try, which through a crude process of trial and error will hopefully strike upon your child’s problem and improve your situation.  

      For context we are writing this book as a couple. Sarah is a physical therapist, whilst Gabriel is an Engineer. We both also hold MBAs and as of writing have three children Ben (4 years old), Jack (2 years old) and Katie (2 months old). What is more Sarah now works at a senior management level in the government health service, giving her a unique insight into the health system. Our science and business backgrounds mean we only accept researched verifiable claims as being valid. Apart from some child behavior related advice, all our recommendations are evidence based and we encourage you to check the cited papers for further information. Sarah’s understanding of the health system and its failings meant we did not have simple blind faith in doctors and without this skepticism we would have never come across the solutions which have worked so dramatically for us. 

      The solutions we propose involve changes to your lifestyle, particularly your diet; however none of what we propose will take any more time out of your day. Some of our proposals may sound hard initially but you will quickly adjust and it will not last forever as through the process of trial and error we figure out what your child’s underlying issues are. Whenever you think something we suggest around diet seems dramatic and too hard, seriously consider the alternative, because if you do not change, then your desperate situation will continue on as is.

      We also want to emphasis there are many great doctors out there, however there are also many who just do not see the situation you are dealing with often enough. They simply do not have the time and resources to inform themselves of all the studies we will utilize, or the firsthand experience in managing children with elusive problems, which can be difficult to diagnose. We have been so lucky to eventually stumble across a few doctors who understood parts of the problem and have allowed us to piece together solutions that work for us and thousands of other children. We really hope that what we have learned can help you too.

      This book is about empowering you to take control of your situation, no matter how desperate it may be, and trusting your instincts.  It is also about addressing the root cause of your child’s problem, not just manage their symptoms. Gurus genuinely want to help your situation, however they derive false confidence in their abilities with patients who tell them how much their advice has helped and not hearing from those where it has not. Sometimes this confidence can lead to gurus dismissing any criticism of their methods as being the parent’s fault for not implementing their strategies correctly. 

      To give you an idea of how severe our situation was, for the first two years of our eldest Ben’s life he rarely slept. Often he would go to bed and writhe in pain throughout the night screaming for six and even seven hours straight. Every sleeping technique was tried, endless doctors consulted and no satisfactory answer was found. 

      Our second child Jack was the same.  We were more adept at survival strategies by this time, and we got through the night by allowing Jack to co-sleep with us and breastfeed (comfort suck) frequently overnight. We would at least sleep in 40 minute blocks before the next cycle of screaming, comfort sucking and finally sleep would begin again. They both had terrible eczema and flu like symptoms. Nothing worked, we were desperate and thought we were unique. We eventually found out we were not. Incredibly we also found there was a huge body of medical evidence detailing how our many problems could be solved through lifestyle changes. 

      With Katie our recently born third and youngest child, we have implemented what we have learned to have a dramatically easier parenting experience. Katie is a settled infant, she sleeps well, is happy and is thriving. With

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1