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    Dinner with the Wilburns: The Wilburns, #1
    Dinner with the Wilburns: The Wilburns, #1
    Dinner with the Wilburns: The Wilburns, #1
    Ebook69 pages48 minutes

    Dinner with the Wilburns: The Wilburns, #1

    By Adam James

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    About this ebook

    A brilliant observation of the current global economy, or complete and total nonsense? You'll have to read it and decide for yourself!



    Have you ever noticed how some people seem to have all the luck, while so many others suffer? 

    You haven’t??? 

    It must be because you’re one of them… Looking down from your castle, as the poor tired masses fight to keep hold of their meager existence. 

    You don’t have a castle either!? Now I know you’re just messing with me… 

    Or… Maybe I’m just high… Not quite as high as William Wilburn, stumbling through the many rooms of the family mansion, on the hunt for enemies that could very well be imaginary. 

    But still pretty high. 

    Oh, what? Sorry Officer, of course I’m not high… No need to get angry like William’s father, Chad. 
    But what is at the root of Chad’s anger? Is it his failure son? Evil daughter? 

     

    Can’t spoil the surprises in just the description, why don’t you just join us for dinner?



    Don’t worry! This isn’t a pretentious book about some fancy dinner. This is a book about a dinner like no other. Sexual situations, drug abuse, wild animals, and Mexican food! Dinner with the Wilburns proves that you really can have it all. 

    How often do you get invited to dine in the world’s most advanced dining room… 
     

    Are you coming or not?

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherAdam James
    Release dateFeb 17, 2016
    ISBN9781524264321
    Dinner with the Wilburns: The Wilburns, #1

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      Book preview

      Dinner with the Wilburns - Adam James

      The unmistakable screech of a monkey being electrocuted was a sound that Quinn felt she had become far too familiar. It’s been happening almost daily for as long as she can remember, so it’s not like she had much choice in becoming accustomed to it.

      Okay, Princess, we better go see if he’s finally killed himself. Quinn said to her pet wolverine. The fierce beast snarled then lunged at Quinn, stretching the 4 foot anchored chain to its maximum length.

      Quinn insisted that she loved Princess, and that Princess loved her in return, albeit in her own special way. Although, in the back of her mind, Quinn knew that she only chose the horribly ill-tempered pet because it was going to be put down after viciously attacking a group of Japanese tourists. She told animal control that, those slanty-eyed-japa-niggers should have just stayed in their own country, and even the animals know they should go home. Eventually, (after a very generous donation) they gave in to her demands, and released the vicious wolverine into her custody. Instead of admitting she may have made a mistake, Quinn accepted the wolverine, a decision that affected Broken Wind’s mostly Asian staff a lot more than Quinn. Princess snarled and snapped every time Quinn so much as blinked. It was beginning to become clear that this animal may not in fact share Quinn’s view on Asians, it just hated everyone equally, a trait Quinn wasn’t quite as fond of.

      Do you want to go for a walk to see Uncle William? Quinn asked Princess in the high pitched tone the professional trainer, (who said Princess was far too deranged to be tamed) taught her before he quit. Princess kept lunging in a vain attempt to escape her bonds; it was obvious that she was not in the mood to go for a walk. Quinn may not be the most intelligent girl in the world, but knowing when to leave an aggressive wild animal to itself is one thing that she had been getting a lot better at lately. She mounted her custom pink Segway for the journey to the basement, where her brother may very well be lying dead on a cold steel laboratory floor.

      W

      Broken Wind features a state of the art laboratory equipped with everything from a really nice microscope, to a giant centrifuge that has never been used. Meticulously clean shelves of unnaturally clean metal canisters line the walls, boasting a library of any chemical a world class chemist could name off the top of their head; from Acenaphthoquinone through Zirconium, the staff would all be fired on the spot if a Wilburn requested something that wasn’t there. The right person could really make a positive difference with access to such a vast and diverse facility, the wrong person could accidentally get so high on pure liquid LSD that they really start to believe they are a scientist.  William was wearing a lab coat with a stethoscope dangling from around his neck. His thinning brown hair looked as if it hadn’t seen a comb (or shampoo) in quite some time. The most concerning thing was the tool belt filled with an assortment of grizzly looking tools wrapped around his skinny waist. William Wilburn was trying his best to look like a mad scientist, and doing a good job.

      I’m so close! So close to fully understanding the inner workings of the brain, William assured himself at an unnecessarily loud volume.

      His current experiment involves giving monkeys a heroic dose of psychedelic drugs, then shocking them while connected to the internet.

      Results so far have been inconclusive.

      Feeling remorseful for all the monkey ‘freak outs’ that had been happening lately, William was becoming far more selective in the monkey’s he chose for these exceedingly important experiments. The one in cage #2 looked like it had been through some serious shit, all of the other sedated monkeys looked peaceful, maybe even a little cute - this one looked like he was waiting

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