The Fit Parent Project: A Life-Changing Fitness Guide for Parents

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CHAPTER 1

The Fit Parent Project

As a parent, is it difficult for you to find the time to include fitness in your daily routine? With busy days, hectic mornings, exhausting evenings, and an erratic schedule, is it difficult for you to find the energy to exercise? Do you ever question why it is even important to prioritize fitness in your life as a parent? Do you encounter fitness obstacles that hold you back? Do you have difficulty finding solutions to these obstacles? Is it difficult for you to wade through the endless amount of fitness information out there in order to find a fitness lifestyle plan that meets your needs as well as your schedule?

You are not alone if you answer yes to any or all of the questions above. Most parents, including me, face these challenges when trying to include fitness into their daily routines. It is difficult to find the appropriate motivation, overcome obstacles, determine an accurate starting point, start the right program, and find the accountability to stick with a fitness routine long-term. There are endless information resources on fitness, some good and some bad. Yet, surprisingly, there are no resources geared specifically to the unique challenges parents face.

The good news is, as a parent, this book was written to provide you with exactly what you need to get motivated, get started, and make healthy lifestyle changes that last. This book will help you to:

•   Understand why you aren’t as healthy as you would like to be or as you need to be.

•   Learn why fitness is more important as you get older than it was when you were younger.

•   Find lasting motivation that will fuel your healthy lifestyle.

•   Understand your current situation, overcome obstacles, and set effective goals.

•   Find exactly the right program based on time, scheduling, and current abilities.

•   Clean up your diet and make small changes that add up to big results.

•   Have fun with fitness and improve the quality of your life and family time.

•   Define permanent action steps to get going and stay on track.

I wrote this book because there is a noticeable lack of fitness material specifically for parents. Sure, there are plenty of resources for general fitness out there. However, none of them fully understand and address the unique obstacles that come with being a busy parent while also providing information on how to lead a healthy and fit lifestyle.

About Me…(Reluctantly)

I hesitated to even include this information in the book, especially given some of the personal content and reflection this required. I also did not want to focus on my personal story since this book was not written for my benefit. After years of speaking with busy parents and helping them with their fitness challenges, as well as undertaking my own fitness resurrection, I wanted to provide a one-stop resource to help parents everywhere include fitness into their lives.

With that being said, I read a lot of books, and when I do, I like to know a little about the people who are writing them. It helps me to understand the writer’s background and establish a common link with the content. I will talk about myself, briefly, but not to fulfill a selfish urge. Rather, I only include this section to help you understand my motivation for writing this book and establish some common ground as a busy parent.

As a husband, father of two daughters, certified personal trainer, and full-time (non-fitness) corporate employee with an MBA, I understand the time and effort a busy parent’s responsibilities require. I am not a fitness model by any stretch, and I don’t spend endless hours in the gym with ample opportunity to work out and stay fit. I am a busy parent just like you, and I face the same challenges we all face when trying to live a healthier lifestyle. I am, however, a firm believer in the value of fitness when it comes to improving the quality of our lives, educating our children, and being able to participate more in life’s enjoyable moments.

When I was younger, lack of activity was never an issue. I have always been an active and energetic person. Leading up to my college years, I played a ton of sports, and typically, every hour outside of organized sports and school was spent playing even more sports with my friends. Thankfully, having to worry about my health and fitness was never a big concern during this period in my life due to my activity levels.

My first year of college was more of the same, as I still managed to exercise and play some club sports. However, by my second year of college, irresponsible misuse of freedom got the best of me. I started making horrible decisions surrounding my activity levels, nutrition, and health. The downward spiral hit, and it hit hard. I ate horribly and drank way too much as the college lifestyle took hold of me. Not only were my health and fitness decisions poor, but I lost all focus on my education and responsibilities. The stories that stem from this period of my life could fill another book with unbelievable tales of stupidity and horrible decisions. Miraculously, I maintained enough discipline to just get by with school, but my health took a major hit.

The years following college weren’t much different. My weeks consisted of lazy food decisions and lack of activity, capped off on the weekends with late nights, little sleep, and over-consumption of both food and more drinking. There were times when I would try to regain control with some exercise and fitness, but it was usually a fleeting moment that was gone within the week. Throughout the period of time spanning from college to several years after, I developed multiple health issues related to my reckless lifestyle.

For starters, I had constant pain in my body, mainly in my back. This was the result of sitting all day and then neglecting any form of exercise during the week. Add to that the fact that I was lying around all weekend long, and my muscles had withered away to nothing. There were times when I couldn’t even bend over to put on my socks. The pain plagued me all day and further immobilized me from any sort of activity.

I also had serious issues with my sleep. Due to my late hours at bars on the weekends, back pain, and poor activity levels, I would either have trouble falling asleep or would wake up frequently during the night. I also had no energy during the day. This was partially due to my lack of sleep but more likely due to my constant lack of activity. At night, I would typically sleep in one- to two-hour stretches, often waking up for hours at a time in between. It became commonplace in my life, and I learned to live with it and accepted it as who I was for some reason.

All of this was bad, but the worst condition I developed was a pretty severe case of social anxiety. I had never had a problem with this. However, poor sleep habits, poor nutrition habits, too much drinking, and a low self-image made me very uncomfortable and anxious when I was around other people or large groups.

I had taken great pride in my athleticism and fitness when I was younger. To say it was the main focus of my life for many years would be an understatement. I had a couple of athletic scholarship offers to small schools coming out of high-school, but I turned them down to go to a larger school. When I looked at myself during these horrible years of my life, I knew what I was doing was self-destructive. I couldn’t stand the person I had become. Even though I knew my behavior was harmful, I continued down the same path each day. The result of this lifestyle and guilt was low self-esteem and anxiety when I was around people and crowds. The anxiety it created was at times crippling, and it kept me inside my apartment or house most of the time. This behavior only compounded my lack of activity issues, as I had given up on organized sports and outdoor recreation.

My health issues were never those most often associated with poor health, such as weight gain. However, I can certainly empathize with anyone who can’t stop themselves from giving in to bad habits, regardless of their nature, even when they know it is an unhealthy decision. Poor health decisions can manifest themselves in a variety of ways, and the issues I described above became mine to deal with.

Thankfully, along the way, I was fortunate enough to meet my amazing wife. I immediately had a new focus in life, and my self-image was boosted instantly while in her presence. The fact that such an amazing woman would find interest in me was enough to think I was at least a salvageable project. However, I still constantly fought the same battles as before. I had done years of damage, and the road to improvement would take time.

While better than before, as a young couple with an active social life, our health and fitness routines didn’t improve very much. We still ate horribly and were rarely active on a consistent basis. I was still dealing with my body breaking down, poor sleep, and debilitating anxiety. Despite never being one to do so, at one point I contemplated medication for both my back and anxiety. I felt completely helpless to fight the battle without some form of pharmaceutical. Thankfully, it never came to that.

The final turning point in this stage of my life is not hard to identify. The moment my first daughter was born, I knew that there was more reason than ever to get my health back on track. With each day, as I grew into fatherhood, I realized that this amazing little girl would need me around for as long as possible, and I wanted to be there. My lifestyle from that point on was no longer solely my burden to carry. The example I set would impact her life for years to come. If I made bad decisions, it not only negatively affected my health, but negatively affected my family as well.

Slowly, and often painfully, I started pushing myself back into a fitness routine. My cardio consisted of walking and running small distances while I slowly tried to increase the mileage or pace each week. For my resistance training, I started with a bodyweight workout routine in our small living room. As my strength grew, along with my equipment collection, I was able to expand my training to incorporate more weights and resistance. My progressions were very small, but I saw steady improvement as I stayed with both routines consistently.

Eventually, I began to sign up for 5K races for charity. This helped me to set new goals and add some competition into my life again. I fell in love with obstacle races (yes, running, lifting heavy things, and crawling in mud). My wife began joining me as well for both types of races, and our daughter would often accompany us in her jogging stroller.

At the same time, we began to clean up our nutrition. The exercise was inspiring and made us realize the value of clean eating and how destructive it was to exercise and then kill our progress with a poor diet and bad decisions. I cut back on my weekend overeating and drinking, due to both the influence of a newborn baby and our newfound fit lifestyle.

Most importantly, the health issues I had experienced for years all but disappeared. Before I knew it, my back wasn’t hurting, I was sleeping better (with the exception of the newborn baby phase), and my social anxiety disappeared. The progress and changes were so gradual along the way that I can’t pinpoint exactly when they occurred. My quality of life slowly improved with each day, and eventually, I was no longer dealing with my previous issues. Caught up in the busy life of a parent, I didn’t even realize the huge changes that occurred until I looked back on it several years later and, in part, while writing this chapter.

In those seven years of growth and change, which have spanned my 30s, I have accomplished more in the realm of fitness and activity than I ever imagined could be done at my age. I regularly participate in fitness challenges with friends and my wife. I even ran my first marathon just this year, which was initially never in my mind as something I could do or even planned on doing.

My quality of life has never been better. I have the energy and physical capability to be a part of my daughters’ lives. I can play with them all day long and use an active lifestyle to share amazing moments with my entire family.

In addition to the health benefits, my fitness routine has become my stress-busting salvation in a world of hectic schedules and corporate monotony. It is a necessary part of my day and can typically cure any mental or physical ailment.

Despite progressing a long way, over many years, I still fight daily battles with the demons of my past. I don’t typically deal with the symptoms of my destructive lifestyle any more, but the temptations are always there. They are less prevalent now, but they definitely still exist. I don’t win every battle, and I still have moments of weakness with my diet, drinking, and activity levels. However, using the principles and techniques I have included in the following chapters of this book, I win a lot more than I lose.

My journey may be nothing like your journey. However, I believe most of us face challenges and destructive behaviors every day. Now, more than ever, overcoming our challenges and setting an example for our children should be a priority in our lives. My mission, and the reason I wrote this book, is to help other parents discover how to overcome those daily challenges. I want you to experience a true and permanent lifestyle change, as opposed to a quick fix that will not last.

What to Expect

The chapters of this book are laid out to help you start from square one and learn to create a new healthy lifestyle through science-based theory and applications. Whether you are new to fitness, someone who practices fitness on an intermediate basis, or a passionate fitness enthusiast, reading this book will provide value and help you reach your fitness goals.

I have included examples, templates, and tools wherever it is applicable to help you get started and stay on track. Each chapter ends with an action item or multiple action items in order to get you moving and to give you real-life applications you can use to change your life now.

In addition to practical fitness concepts, I also try to relate personal experiences and the experiences of other parents in order to make the recommendations more relatable and help connect the dots. I find I learn more easily when a concept can be related to an everyday activity. We often overlook the lessons we teach our children and the lessons being taught to us by our children. You can learn a lot about yourself, and life in general, just by watching your children and stepping back to think about the lessons you are trying to teach them each day.

So, if you are ready to improve the quality of your life, set an example for your children on how they can lead healthier lives, reduce your risk of injury and disease, feel better and look better…you’ve come to the right place. I sincerely hope this book will provide you with what you need to make positive and lasting changes. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to help. Family fitness starts with you, and it starts here and now.

CHAPTER 2

Why We Aren’t As Fit As We Would Like To Be

"He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else." – Benjamin Franklin.

I have a good idea why parents might miss a workout. For this particular example, I wish I could forget…

The 3:30 am Carpet Cleaner

A few years back, before our second daughter was born, my wife, oldest daughter and I were living in a small foreclosure home we’d purchased after a career-driven relocation. We put a lot of work into fixing up the house, but we realized we were soon going to outgrow it once our second daughter