Left Out: What to do if You're Left Behind or Left Below

Also published by Yhabbut Publishing

Benjamin David

Pilgrim’s Egress: A Rebuttal to Pilgrim’s Progress

Left Out: What to do if You’re Left Behind or Left Below

My Egypt: Why I Left the Ex-Gay Movement

Ben Tousey

The Eye of the Morning series:

Book I: The Eye of the Morning

Book II: God’s Madmen

Book III: Children of the Night

Book IV: Estate to a Foreigner

The Haunting of Holden Castle

The Warrior

Timothy Ryker Kole

The Long and Hard of the Law

The Gods must be Calling

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Acknowledgments

I would like to thank those who have been so supportive to me as o wrote this series.

First to my mom Sharon, for her constant and unconditional support.

To my sister Anna for her thoughtful and inspired wisdom.

To her husband (and my brother-in-law) Brendan for being such a great mediator and moderator.

To my friends who took such great care of me as I was writing this book:

Bobby, Aaron, Abbey, Kris, Randy, Maurice, Slade, and Kat.

To all my Facebook friends who were always so generous with their comments.

Act I—A Tale of Twins

A Night to ‘Not’ Remember

Benjamin was in the midst of a tense dream. His body tensed as a large telephone pole screamed at him, its wires swatting madly at a horsefly that looked like a real horse and a real fly. The telephone pole screeched in loud steady beats at an insidiously loud volume, matching the throbbing in his head.

Unwilling to tolerate any more of this, Benjamin slapped at the noise. Thankfully, the screeching stopped, but he had probably hit his alarm clock harder than he intended. He pushed himself up and swung his legs over the side of the bed, rocking back and forth to ease the queasiness in his stomach. He was now regretting his decision to go out on a work night. He couldn’t, for the life of him, understand why his company would schedule an office party on a Wednesday night. With his head dropping over his knees he attempted to stand, which irritated his uneasy stomach. He sat back down. If only he could call in sick.

That, however, would not be a good idea. No one would believe him since they all saw him drinking last night.

He let his head drop slightly so that it was hovering over his knees. Looking down at his bare legs, and then up at his bare body, he realized he was naked. That‘s odd. He never slept naked. Then he felt the bed move behind him. He turned carefully and discovered there was someone else in the bed buried under the covers. He groaned quietly. ‘What the hell did I do last night?’ He scratched his head as he tried to replay the evening in his mind, starting from where he forgot. That went well. Unfortunately, his mind went blank after that last martini. At least he hoped that was his last martini.

‘Please God. Don’t let me have embarrassed myself’ he whispered into his knees.

He slowly turned to see who his companion was, but his company was still buried under the covers. Gently he eased himself off the bed and quietly searched for his robe, which he found hanging on the foot of his bed, and made his way into the kitchen where he fumbled through the cupboard for a bottle of aspirin. He swallowed two, chasing them down with two antacid tablets and a glass of water, praying that they didn’t all come back up on him. Cautiously he returned his room where his companion had awakened and had pulled the covers away from his face so that Benjamin could see who it was.

‘O my God,’ Benjamin thought. ‘I slept with my boss!’

Benjamin had a crush on Michael since Michael had been hired at MRACreative two years ago. Michael’s office was situated so that he had to walk past Benjamin’s cubicle on his way to the bathroom, on his way to the president’s office, on his way to meetings, or anywhere else he needed to go. Benjamin always looked forward to those moments and had to work at looking casual and not too obvious. A few months after Michael started the company merged the print and Internet marketing into one group and Michael was put in charge of both of those groups. He was Benjamin’s new boss. Benjamin also got himself a real office instead of his cubicle.

It didn’t occur to Benjamin that Michael might be gay. After all, he was divorced, had a twelve-year-old daughter, Allison, whom he brought to work often, and he was dating a very attractive executive at the Madison Corporation. Still, gay or straight, Michael was gorgeous, so Benjamin figured there was no harm in ogling.

‘It’s like a donut,’ he told himself. ‘You know you’re not going to eat it, but you can sure enjoy how good it looks.’

He and Allison had a great relationship. His office was usually the first place she visited when she arrived, and Benjamin always took time to hang out. He often spent more time with her at the office than Michael did, and Michael made it known that he appreciated that.

Every time he walked by Michael’s office, Benjamin would peak in to see if Michael was there. During meetings found himself staring and would quickly look away. Now Michael was in his bed, and he couldn’t even remember what happened.

Damn! How could he not remember the best thing that has ever happened to him at this company?

Michael looked up at him as he walked into the room.

Morning, Michael moaned and ran a hand through his hair.

How do you feel? Benjamin asked.

The reply was garbled, but sounded like, Shit!

Right? Benjamin paused. I guess since you’re here I can’t call in sick.

Michael laughed and immediately groaned and rubbed his forehead with his hand. With his other hand he blindly reached out toward Benjamin. Benjamin took it and let Michael pull him back into bed. Because if you do, the boss is going to know you’re lying.

I’m not lying, Benjamin retorted. I’m really sick. I mean seriously, who plans an office party for the middle of the week, and then has an open bar?

That would be me, Michael said as he pulled Benjamin down beside him.

I knew it the minute I said it, Benjamin laid his head on Michael’s chest. This was Heaven. It’s too bad he couldn’t remember what happened last night. There was a moment of silence, and then Benjamin found the nerve to ask... Is this weird, or is it going to get weird?

Michael silently caressed Benjamin’s back for a moment. I suppose it could if you want it to, but I don’t think it has to.

Besides, Benjamin mumbled into Michael’s chest, I’ve adored you for two years, and nobody knew that.

Michael turned his head so that it faced Benjamin. Two years?

Now he felt a little weird. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything.

You pansy, Michael said quietly.

What?

You could have asked me out a year ago and I would have accepted.

Benjamin sat up. But you’re dating that gorgeous executive from The Madison Company.

That’s my ex-wife, Michael said. She’s Allison’s mother. Trust me, we’re not dating!

You certainly do get along well, he observed.

We do now, Michael said, but it was really rough for a while. The only reason we even tried to hold it together was because of Allison.

Allison, Benjamin smiled.

She adores you, Michael said.

His mind at ease, he lay down. They were quiet for a few minutes.

I hate to do this, Benjamin said eventually, but I’ve got to get ready for work. If I call in sick my boss is going to know it’s because I drank too much at the party last night.

Michael chuckled. Somehow I think your boss already knows that.

The silence was disturbed by Benjamin’s cell phone ring tone. Sitting up, he looked around, trying to find the source of the sound. He couldn’t remember coming in last night, so he had no idea where he put anything: his wallet, his keys, his phone... they could be anywhere.

The phone stopped ringing.

He relaxed. Problem solved.

The phone started ringing again.

Benjamin continued searching. He listened carefully, trying to follow the ring. The ringing stopped. Then it started again

Fuck, Benjamin cursed softly to himself.

Whoever it is they really want to get hold of you, Michael said coming up behind him.

It’s my mother, Benjamin said. She’ll call back eighty times until I finally answer. She’ll assume that the reason I’m not answering is because I don’t want to talk to her.

Michael laughed. Just tell her you’re hung-over.

She’ll just assume that I was drinking to avoid her, Benjamin confided.

Impressive, Michael said. You gotta love a woman that self-absorbed.

Only if she’s your mother! Even then I’m not so sure.

Finally Benjamin was able to pinpoint a distinct ringing coming from his dirty clothes hamper in the bathroom. The phone stopped ringing, but now Benjamin had a basic idea of where it was and rummaged through the dirty clothes looking for what he wore to work yesterday. The phone rang again. At last he retrieved his jeans and fumbled through the pockets, and there was the phone.

Now Benjamin was really curious about last night. He never threw his clothes in the hamper right away. He usually threw them on the floor first and put them in the hamper when he was finally ready to do laundry. He took the phone and threw the pants back into the clothes basket, then pulled them back out again to retrieve his wallet, and waited. When his cell rang again he checked the caller ID, although it wasn’t necessary. With a sigh he flipped open the phone.

Hi mom.

The voice on the other end was agitated. Mom didn’t like to be kept waiting, especially when she was in the midst of a crisis. When she was done chiding him for being such a neglectful son, she moved on to the reason for the crises without even allowing a response. Benjamin’s twin brother David had just called and announced that his fiancée, Deborah, was considering calling off the wedding.

Benjamin listened quietly to his mother’s grievances knowing that he wasn’t going to get much of an opportunity to speak anyway. He gave up trying years ago. Michael patted him on the butt and whispered that he needed to take a shower. With his mother still in hysterics and complaining in his ear, he led Michael to the bathroom where he pointed out the towels, soap, hair products, and an extra toothbrush.

Michael gave him an odd look when Benjamin showed him the toothbrush. Phone still on his ear, Benjamin opened up the vanity drawer to display a package of toothbrushes which all looked exactly like Michael’s. He chuckled and slapped Benjamin’s ass and stepped into the shower.

Finally, Benjamin’s mother ceased her diatribe long enough to catch a breath.

Mom, he inserted quickly, David and Delilah have got some serious problems that they need to work out. This is probably a blessing in disguise... I know her name’s not Delilah, but the way she treats him... mom, just because her father happens to be a famous pastor at some mega-church... she’s still evil... no I’m not carelessly throwing around the word evil... yes mother, I realize that there’s real evil in the world, and Delilah’s dialed into it... fine, rebuke me in the name of Jesus... mom, she treats David horribly and it surprises me that you’re okay with that...

Michael turned on the shower, and Benjamin left the bathroom quickly.

No mom, I’m not talking to you while I’m taking a shower. That would ruin my phone... Someone else is taking a shower... Yes I had someone over last night... Yes mother, it was a guy... Of course I know what the Bible says about unnatural affection, you’ve written those scriptures on every correspondence you’ve had with me since I was in junior high: birthday cards, letters, postcards, Valentine’s Day cards—birthday cakes... I don’t believe in hell mother.

As soon as the words left his mouth he regretted saying them. Immediately he had to pull the phone away from his ear to avoid having his eardrum punctured by her shriek as she started quoting scripture. Mom... Mother... Mother, if you’re going to start speaking in tongues I’m going to hang up... I’m serious mother.

He pulled the cell phone away from his ear, looked at it, and in disgust slammed it shut and threw it on the bed. It started ringing. He picked it up, put it on silent and put it down on the dresser. He heard Michael turn off the water and rummaged through his dresser drawers for a pair of jeans. When Michael stepped out of the shower, he placed the jeans in Michael’s hand.

I figured we’re close enough in size to share.

Michael smiled. Do I get to pick the underwear?

Benjamin smiled and showed him where he kept them and took his turn in the shower.

It sounds like you and your mom have a pretty intense relationship, Michael yelled over the shower.

You don’t know the half of it, Benjamin yelled back. She’s convinced that I’m going to hell and every day she gets more and more desperate to save me. She’s even resorted to asking her friends to follow me and witness to me when I least expect it.

Michael laughed out loud; classic mom psychosis.

When they were both dressed and ready to go, Michael reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his keys. If you’re ready to go I’ll take you to your car.

‘My car?’ Benjamin almost asked aloud. He must have left his car at the office... of course he did.

Michael leaned against Benjamin on his bedroom doorjamb. Can I come over again tonight?

Yes, Benjamin said without hesitation. Please come over again tonight. This time he would be able to remember.

Michael leaned in to kiss him. When he did, Benjamin grabbed his ass and pulled him closer, and they shared a passionate embrace, an embrace that was drawing them perilously close to making them late.

It took a lot of effort, but they were able to pull themselves apart and make their way to Michael’s car.

As they drove to the office, Benjamin wished he could remember last night. He didn’t drink like this often, and it worried him that he drank so much that he forgot an entire evening. Neither of them felt compelled to carry on a conversation, and both were relieved that the silence between them was comfortable.

Michael turned on the radio and they were immediately greeted by the Right Reverend Charles Wilkins, Head Pastor of the largest church in the whole state,