Never Die Love

Never Die Love

By: Michael Bandy-Pistory

Published on Smashwords

Copyright 2010 Michael Bandy-Pistory

Formatted by eBooksMade4You

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The Amazing Adventures of AJ Snow

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Dedication

This book is dedicated to my family and friends, and anyone who has lost their life to aids, or is currently living with it. I learned at the age of twenty two that I was HIV positive, and to this day am still adjusting to the change it forces you into both mentally and psychically. Up to that day I felt invincible; though I knew that wasn’t actually true, but invincible as in I was going to lead a long life. Nothing could keep me from that. Then my nurse told me. Your tests came back positive. My world shattered, and my life changed. I could die! Not just seventy years down the road, but tomorrow. I was filled with anger, hate, jealousy, doubt, and most of all fear. I just wanted to sit there and cry, and continue crying until the end. Technically I did. Almost a year later I still felt alone. Felt that no one would love me again, and that one day I would get sick and no one would be there by my side. I lost my inspiration for life, and stopped writing, stopped going out. My work suffered, and I distanced myself from the people I loved.

Love, is a beautiful yet sometimes dangerous thing. Love is not to be wasted. It is to be lived, shared, appreciated, and understood. Love is what fueled me. I realized that regardless of everything I loved myself too much to quit. I loved this life to much not to experience it. My friends and family also loved me too much to simply watch me fail. I realized I wasn’t alone, and never would be regardless if I had a partner or not. I had family, and if I loved myself enough; people were sure to too. Life is too precious to waste. Life is far more valuable than misery.

Too many people have been lost to this disease, and just as I do; millions deal with it on a daily basis. So in closing I dedicate this book to the people who have lost their lives in this sometimes seemingly hopeless fight; as well as to those who currently fight it today. I dedicate it not just to my partner, my family and friends but theirs as well. It is our loved ones that remain and will always be our strongest support. They are the ones that inspire us, and give us hope. We ourselves need to have faith that one day we may find a cure for this disease and until then continue living life as it was meant to be lived. For without hope; what is there? We are no different, no less deserving of love, but it is important first we love ourselves or else this disease has already won. Continue strong, for tomorrow is just around the corner, and the rising sun brings a new day full of hope and broad horizons.

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Table of Contents

Chapter 1 Holding On

Chapter 2 The Boy down the Street

Chapter 3 Shhhhhhh! Don’t tell Mommy

Chapter 4 Fairy-Men-Tary

Chapter 5 Three Ball

Chapter 6 Secrets Between Friends

Chapter 7 Invites and Exits

Chapter 8 Forgiven

Chapter 9 A Love Unspoken

Chapter 10 Choices

Chapter 11 When One Door Opens Another Door

Chapter 12 The Village and a Letter

Chapter 13 Queer Happenings

Chapter 14 The Film Festival

Chapter 15 Confessions

Chapter 16 Three’s Company

Chapter 17 Relief and Excitement

Chapter 18 False Faces

Chapter 19 Sirens and Secrets

Chapter 20 Homecoming

Chapter 21 A Space in Between

Chapter 22 Unanswered Letters and a Love Unbreaking

Chapter 23 Never Die Love

Chapter 24 A Strength Within

Chapter 25 Baby Steps and Solid Foundations

Chapter 26 The Fall

Chapter 27 Fear and Unknowing

Chapter 28 Calm Before the Storm

Chapter 29 Crashing Down

Chapter 30 The Long Goodnight

Epilogue

About the Author

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Chapter 1

Holding on

The seconds passed even more slowly, as he checked his watch while he paced the hall outside. It was close to eleven by now, but the doctors had allowed him to stay the night even though visiting hours were long past over. Chris had taken a turn for the worst, and the doctor had told him it would only be a few more hours till he’d be gone. He had asked if he could stay the night, and with some reluctance they had granted his request. The lights had been dimmed now, and he held his arms tight across his chest finally realizing how cold he was. Just yesterday he had called the ambulance after Christopher passed out in the middle of the romantic dinner he had planned. He started to cry as he remembered the look on his face as his partner fell face first onto the dining room table, cold, and motionless

Chris! Chris! he screamed deperatly, but there had been no response. He had broken a fever, and his skin had become clammy. He sat him up, and carried him over to the couch laying him down to rest. His skin was pale white, and his hands were freezing. He quickly dialed 911, and spoke with the operator on line.

I need an ambulance. My partner is sick ….. he’s just collapsed.

The door to the room swung open, and the nurse pulled it shut behind her.

How is he? He whispered as if it were some secret he wanted to keep from even the surrounding walls.

Not well Mr. Thomas. She replied hanging her head low, obviously upset by the situation. Mr. Camry’s temperature is steady around one hundred and three, and we haven’t been able to get it down. Although we have managed to lower his blood pressure, and stabilize his breathing. We’re doing …

Mr. Thomas cut her off before she could finish.

It’s ok he replied lifting her chin, I understand what he’s going through. Don’t worry about upsetting me.

I’m sorry she replied; a tear trickling down her cheek.

Don’t be. Mr. Thomas replied with a smile. He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and dabbed her cheek. Can I stay with him now?

Of course, She responded as she gracefully swept past him on her way to the nurse’s desk.

Slowly he opened the door, and the minimal light from the hallway entered the room slowly falling over the bed by the window, and he could see his partner laying there asleep.

Mr. Thomas the nurse called behind him..

He turned around, and blindly stared at her for a moment until she replied, He’s lucky to have you. A smile made its way across her face before she turned and continued on her way down the hallway.

Mr. Thomas smiled, and slipped into the room closing the door tight behind him. He walked across the room, and pulled open the curtains so that the moonlight shone in. Pulling the chair from the corner he sat next to the bed, and took his partner’s hand in his. Slowly he rubbed his hand, and looked at him and smiled. Again a tear trickled down his face, as he could only imagine the pain that his partner was going through that very moment. He leaned over and kissed him on the forehead.

I’ll miss you. He whispered.

His partner began to cough, and Mr. Thomas held him down as so he wouldn’t fall out of bed.

Aaron? Christopher said so softly Aaron knew it was taking every effort to speak.

Yes Hun. Aaron replied leaning in so Chris wouldn’t have to strain as much since he had realized that Chris couldn’t see further than a few inches in front of him.

Will you hold me? Christopher replied before coughing again; hints of blood trickling down his cheek.

Of course, Aaron said while sitting down on the corner of the bed.

He pulled Chris up so that his head rested on his chest, dabbing his cheek with a wet cloth that lay at the bedside.

You’ll never leave me right? Christopher asked while his eyes filled with tears.

Never have; and never will. Aaron said as he gently ran his fingers through his hair.

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Chapter 2

The Boy down the Street

Guys wait up! a young boy yelled as he came pedaling around the corner on his bicycle.

His helmet slipped forward; half covering his eyes since it was obviously several sizes to large, The training wheels that were still attached to his back wheel rattled uncontrollably as he rode on determined to catch up with the group of boys that had just rounded the corner only a minute or two earlier.

Come on Aaron! one of the boys shouted over his shoulder in the little boy’s direction, who was visibly struggling to keep up.

A slight smile flashed across the boy’s face, and the rest of his friends simply laughed under their breaths. They were all several inches taller than the little boy, who was obviously the youngest of the group. Most of the boys were goofing around; either standing straight up on their bikes, or pulling them back so that their front wheels hovered over the ground, while their weary follower simply leaned forward and pushed onward.

A group of girls across the street began to giggle, and Aaron finally realized that they had been showing off. Desperate not to be left out as usual Aaron yelled towards the youngest looking girl who was wearing her typical grey sweater, and tight blue jeans.

Hey Melissa! he shouted, Watch me!

Slowly he began to stand straight up; trying to balance himself on his pedals. For a moment he had thought that he had been successful, and a feeling of accomplishment overwhelmed him. Unfortunately, one of the boys he had been trying to keep up with had decided to throw a fallen branch at his back tire. The branch instantly became stuck between the spokes, and the wheel locked in place. Aaron yelled as he was hurtled face first off his bike into a large patch of grass just off the street.

For a moment he lay there; petrified, and embarrassed. Melissa had turned away, and covered her face in her hands refusing to see Aaron humiliated.

Way to go goober! the oldest looking boy yelled cupping his hands over his mouth so that the entire neighborhood could hear him.

Instantly Aaron jumped up, and ran in his direction. Without even flinching he began to throw his fists at him in a violent fury.

That wasn’t funny Michael! He screamed. I’m going to tell Mom!

Just as the words escaped his mouth; Aaron instantly froze; immediately regretting what he had just said.

Oh watch out Mike! the boy standing directly to Mike’s left yelled, while holding back a chuckle. He’s gonna tell.

Suddenly the boys broke out into laughter. One by one they piled on top of their bikes, and began to drive down the block.

Michael however grabbed Aaron, who himself had just begun to mount his own bike.

Go home Aaron. He said his voice both cold and distant.

Aaron simply stood there and watched as his brother rode away; leaving him alone on the corner of Chestnut and Spruce. Aaron leaned up against the fence he had been holding onto, and slowly began to sink to the ground in discouragement. Just then he heard some laughter coming from down the street. Leaving his bike, Aaron burst off in a hurry.

Just as he reached the corner, a large orange ball came rolling out from the back alleyway at the end of the block. A young boy about his age; slightly taller, and a little chubbier came running for the ball and picked it up off the ground.

Hey there Aaron yelled.

The other boy stood in his tracks. He seemed quite shocked that Aaron had said hello.

Yes. He replied hesitantly.

What you doing? Aaron asked.

The other boy began to turn the ball over in his hands, Playing basketball of course.

Basketball, Aaron said obviously unaware as to what the other boy was talking about

Yeah basketball! he said. You know; orange ball, dribbling, hoops.

He stared at Aaron puzzled. He was trying to decide if he was joking or not.

You’re being serious aren’t you. He said, trying to conceal a chuckle.

Yep, Aaron said while bending over to pick up the ball which had just rolled over in his direction since the other boy had just missed his shot.

What are you? the boy asked, Queer or something?

What’s queer? Aaron asked.

The other boy paused for a moment before shrugging his shoulders and answering.

I don’t know, the other boy replied, People that do weird things.

Oh, ok. Aaron replied.

For a moment he stared down at the ground unaware as to what to say.

My name’s Aaron. He said.

Christopher. The other boy answered.

Now, He paused, About that basketball game.

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Chapter 3

Shhhhhh! Don’t tell Mommy

Mom, Aaron yelled while slipping through the front door. I’m home!

Aaron pushed the herd of cats that had gathered at the door back with his foot. Whenever someone would come home they would secretly try to make their way outside by edging past their legs through the half opened door. Sebastian, Sammy, and Ike were always trying to get into some type of trouble. Of course Aaron’s mother felt they were simply disobedient, and that Aaron’s thoughts on their desires for adventure, and mischief were absolutely absurd.

Aaron! his mother yelled from up the stairs. Is that you?

Yes mom! he answered back. Play practice let out early since the chorus director was sick today.

Oh isn’t that a shame. Aaron heard her reply, as the bathroom closet door shut, and he realized she was sorting laundry.

Do you need help up there mom? he asked, while rummaging through the mail that was scattered across the living room table.

Hardly ever did Aaron receive mail excluding his monthly comic and Pet Pals subscriptions. Regardless, Aaron was the inquisitive type and couldn’t help being nosey.

No! I’m fine. His mother replied. There’s lunchmeat in the refrigerator if u want a sandwich. I’ll be down in a minute.

Aaron made his way to the kitchen pausing for a moment to hang his jacket and book bag up in the closet. Aaron typically wasn’t hungry when he got home from school, and his mother knew this. However just as all good mothers she always made sure to make sure her kids were well fed.

Aaron proceeded to make his favorite turkey and provolone cheese sandwich with a honey mustard spread, and poured himself a glass of apple cider, which thanks to the now breaking autumn season, was overstocked in the refrigerator as always. Aaron’s mom made sure to buy in surplus whenever anything seasonal such as cider or egg nog was in supply. Aaron made sure to place the gallon of cider back on the second shelf next to the fruit basket, and immediately below the milk. Aaron had realized in time his mother was quite