Uniformed

Part I

Chapter 1

1998

I awoke to the sun piercing into the darkness and bursting through my bedroom window mini blinds. I cursed myself for not making sure they were closed when I had fallen into bed around 2am. Pulling the sheet up over my head trying to block out the light was all I could do to try and go back to sleep without having to physically get out of bed.

The interruption of the undecipherable sound from the neighbor’s stereo made me groan and turn back over. The walls in my apartment were a pathetic excuse.

I had only lived here for a few months, but was beginning to think I was cursed. It had been one problem after another. First, it was the air conditioning, and then the neighbor’s dog kept crapping at the bottom of my stairs. It had become an everyday event when I left for work. A lesson I had to learn quickly. Then to top it all off, someone was stealing my mail.

I had signed a year lease, but I didn’t think I would make it that long. I rolled back over, opened my eyes and looked at the clock, 8:13am. I grudgingly got out of bed, walked over to the neighboring wall, and slammed my fist against it enough time for them to get the hint.

Walking back to my warm bed, I was relieved when I was thrust into silence again. I sighed, got under the covers, closed my eyes, and begged for more sleep.

Hours later, I walked out of my apartment, less agitated, and ready to start the day. My usual present was waiting for me at the bottom of the steps yet again.

I continued on my way to the car, determined not to let anything else get to me, especially when I had so many errands to run today.

Just like everyone else, Saturdays were for getting things done. It was nice to have this weekend off, it was rare for me.

I had three jobs, my full-time job as a receptionist at a real estate firm, then Saturdays I did open houses for one of the top agent, then lastly, Sundays, I worked the counter at a high end cigar shop.

I worked hard for my money, which was just enough to pay my bills, and save a little out of each paycheck. Not that I had any time to do anything else.

I drove my 5 year old, burgundy Ford Escort, while running errands. It had been a graduation present from my mother, well more of a bribe really, Finish school, get a new car, my mother stated. It’s not really the type of car I would have chosen, but then again, it wasn’t my choice. Not even the color had been my choice, I would have gone with black instead, it was much cooler.

I finished up my errands and started my drive home. Laundry was waiting to be done before work on Monday, or naked I would be. I drove up to the apartment complex gate, punched in the code, and waited for the gate to open.

I then stopped at the mailboxes on my way in, not quite able to remember the last time I had checked. Time was constantly running away from me, and putting my needs in front of others, had not been that important, but I was well aware I had to get a life, and quick.

With no boyfriend to speak of, I couldn’t remember the last time I had gone out with my friends. My only memory was speaking with Elissa, my best friend, and that was over a week ago. I desperately needed a night out, to flirt with guys, and drink a little too much. That sounded great right now. Calling Elissa was now my top priority as soon as I got inside.

When I opened the mailbox, there wasn’t as much as I had thought. Grabbing the pile, I put it under my arm, and headed back to the car.

Once inside, I threw everything from my arms onto the couch and ran to the bathroom. I had tried to hold it, but now I was in pain.

I need to relax, I said aloud, walking out from the bathroom, moving my crap out of the way and sitting down. Grabbing the remote, I turned on the T.V., just for background noise.

Letting out a sigh, I groped for all the mail now scattered around me. One envelope caught my eye, a larger white envelope, sealed with a memorable shape on the back.

Delicately opening the envelope as not to tear the invitation I knew that was inside, I realized I was holding my breath. I pulled the invitation out and read, letting out my breath.

The date was in two months. I had to call Elissa now. Picking up the phone, I thought twice.

Was I going to go?

Why not?

Why should I?

It was an important time in my life.

Who actually goes to their high school reunion?

Ok, I really needed Elissa’s advice. Picking up the phone again, I had already decided in my mind. Two and a half years of my life I had spent there, I had to go.

Chapter 2

1991

The face stared directly back at me. Black hair flowed over the forehead screaming to be pushed back. The dark, piercing brown eyes told me there was trouble. The crooked grin let me in on a secret just between us. The lips pursed at just the right angle as to suggest….Samantha………suggest something……..Samantha.

Ahhh, who is calling my name?

I looked up into the face of Mrs. Scantleton, my wretched math teacher.

Samantha, do you know the answer?

Umm, no, I mean, I don’t know.

No, you don’t know the answer, or you don’t know if you know the answer?

I crinkled my forehead, and shook my head, I don’t know the answer.

Well you should, this was your homework last night. She said turning back to the blackboard.

I hated math, I would never understand it.

I turned all my attention back to the beautiful face. I shaded in the remainder of the nose with my brown coloring pencil, just as the bell rang.

I tucked my sketch pad into my math book, not wanting to wrinkle it, and walked to my locker. As I turned the corner to the main hallway, that beautiful face was waiting for me, leaning against the row of bright yellow lockers. I skipped up to him, and kissed him fully on the lips. Nick, the love of my life.

If we had not been standing in the hallway at school, I would have attacked him. I pulled away just as Elissa, my best friend walked up. Elissa had the tendency to walk into many a situation between Nick and me.

Do you two ever stop? Elissa asked more of a statement than a question.

I looked over at Nick, he smiled, She’s irresistible, and I can’t stay away. He put his arm around my waist.

You two make me hate the fact I don’t have anyone more and more.

You could if you would ever agree to go out with my friend Scott. Nick stated.

Elissa looked away, pretending not to hear him, but answering him anyways, Maybe, I’ll think about it.

That was Elissa. The conversation ended when she didn’t like the way it was going.

We walked down the hallway in silence. Nick and I had the next class together, so we said good bye to Elissa and continued on to English class.

I held his hand all the way, only letting go when we took our seats next to each other.

When I first saw Nick three months ago, I knew I had to have him.

He was standing in my driveway next to his first love, his hot pink Volkswagen bug. He was talking to my brother. I found out quickly he was just as much into cars as my brother was. I wondered who he was, and why I had never seen him before. He started coming around more often, and that’s when I learned he had been going to another school in another district, but to my surprise, would be transferring to my school in the coming weeks.

I flirted and flirted until he knew exactly how I felt. He never knew what hit him. I was in love with him, there was no looking back.

My life couldn’t get any more perfect than it was right now.

Chapter 3

I’ve lived in Houston, Texas my whole life. Houston is a big city situated in the south park of the state. It’s flat, humid in the summer, with cold winters and absolutely no chance of snow.

The word best to describe Houston was boring.

But boring is not the path I have accepted at my tender age. Even though nothing substantial or of any meaning has happened in my life yet. I’m stilling holding out for something to change the path I’m on, something great, something meaningful.

In the summer of 1990, at the age of 16, my life in the suburbs of Houston, Texas was normal by most standards.

For right now I attend high school, I make bad grades and I hung out with my friends. At this moment in my life I’m just a normal sixteen year old sophomore living in a suburb.

The one bright light in my life and the one who keeps me going is Nick Garza. He is wonderful to me. Besides the fact, I’m not his only girlfriend, he treats me the way any boyfriend should. In my head that sounds right, but when I say that out loud, it sounds ridiculous and desperate. Her name is Penny. She may have been his first girlfriend, but I’ll be his last. Their relationship is on the rocks. I can wait it out.

Penny has no idea that I even exist. I am the other women in the relationship, something I didn’t strive to be. Never the less I have accepted it for now.

Even being the other woman, I thought I was living the perfect life here in suburbia. I’m happy by all accounts, because of Nick.

In the summer months I spent all my time with Nick and Elissa.

I have lived on this same street since I was three. I had grown up with the all the other kids within the 4 to 5 houses other either side and across the street. When we were younger we had the run of the neighborhood. We ran around without shoes, played hide and seek until the streets lights came on. We had grown up together, gone to school together, attended birthdays at the skating rink or Chuck-e-Cheese. We will always remember those hot, muggy nights in the summer, playing hide and seek or talking on the driveway of someone’s house without a care in the world.

Being like any teenager I was impatiently waiting to get my driver’s license and busy annoying my parents begging for a car. I had no idea that my life would change forever, and that not having a car was the least of my problems.

That night my life changed. I was watching TV on the couch when my Mom not so discreetly dropped some brochures into my lap, and continued walking into the kitchen.

What are these?

A few schools in Australia.

For what?

I’m sending you there.

No way! I sat up throwing the brochures onto the couch next to me and turned

around.

I want you somewhere you can really get an education.

I’m getting an education right here.

Oh no you’re not, you’re too preoccupied with boys.

There are boys in Australia you know.

Not at an all girls school there aren’t.

What? Hell no, I’m not going.

You don’t have a choice in the matter.

What do you mean I don’t have a choice? I don’t want to go, that’s my choice.

Well it’s not up to you.

Are you crazy?

Don’t use that tone with me Samantha.

I don’t want to go to a girl’s school in Australia.

Well I’m tired of you doing so poorly here in public school. And it would do you some good to get away from those boys.

I’m doing fine here, all my friends are here.

This is not a discussion. It’s all been arranged. You will go in August and start in the middle of their 10th grade.

What? I’m about to finish 10th grade. I don’t want to repeat it.

You’ll only have to do the last six months, which won’t hurt you.

I can’t believe your doing this. I don’t want to go. You’re ruining my life. I stood up and put my hand on my hips.

There are many advantages to going to a private school.

Like what?

You won’t have to worry about picking out your clothes every morning. You’ll wear a uniform.

What? Oh no I won’t

And no more makeup, you can just wake up and go.

No makeup? You have got to be kidding me. What kind of school is this?

A good one and that’s what you need. It’s all girls. Why would you care about makeup around other girls?

I don’t leave the house without makeup, and I won’t there either.

You will follow their rules. Nobody cares what you look like.

They’re girls, of course they care. Girls are girls wherever they live.

Stop being so foolish, everyone is in the same boat over there. You would just stand out if you were the only one wearing makeup.

I kept getting angrier and angrier at everything my Mom was saying. Why can’t I just go to a private school here?

You would still be around boy’s everyday after school. And there are no boarding schools here.

A boarding school, you mean I will have to live at school?

Yes of course. You don’t have to worry about commuting and you can put that time towards your studies.

I might just use that time to get into trouble. There must be boarding schools in other states.

But you don’t have family in other states. You do however have some in Australia.

This can’t be happening to me. I crossed my arms in defiance.

It’s happening and there’s nothing you can do about it. This is happening, and you will go. No more complaining, and no more arguing. Mom walked out of the room and left me standing there.

A few minutes passed before I was able to snap out of it. I walked back into the living room, sitting down where just a while ago my life was perfect. I was well aware that those hideous brochures were still lying next to me, but I didn’t was to look at them. Looking at them meant acceptance, and I was not going to accept this crazy idea my mom had running around in her head.

From the corner of my eye, I glanced at the one lying on top. It was called ‘Trinity Girls Grammar School. The girls in the brochure were dressed in their uniforms, in a library, in class, playing sports, and in groups. They looked happy, but were they really? It was different, very different. How much fun could I have in a place like that?

I sat there with my arms folded, starring at the TV, watching nothing. How could my parents do this to me, didn’t they know what I would be leaving behind, or didn’t they care? It was hard to get my head around this.

My parents are the total opposite of each other. My mother is five foot nothing with almost black, curly hair and still believes that I should follow in her footsteps, whatever those are. She is a typical Mom but stands by the traditions from the 1950’s.

My brother Doug and I learned our manners quickly so as not to embarrass Mom when we were away from home. From how to properly shake hands, and that meant sitting down at the kitchen table and practicing, always firm, never limp. The first impression of a person is shaking their hand. Table manners were another strong lesson in our home. Knife and fork in corresponding hands was the only way to do it in our house.

Mom stayed home with my brother and me until I was 10 and then she went back to work full-time. Mom was probably working over time to pay for me to go to this school. I think she just wanted me to be the person I would be, but she tended to put more pressure on me than any other parent I knew. The more pressure she put on me, made me just try to do enough to get by, and that was all I could manage.

But on the other hand my Dad is a relatively tall man, with already graying hair. He’s a good ole boy and a native Houstonian. He always seemed a lot stricter with my brother and me than most of my friends’ father’s. He is much older than my other friends’ fathers and that might have a lot to do with being strict. He couldn’t relate to us at all. But what parent’s can?

My mom is his second wife. He was married to a woman named Suzanne and had four kids before meeting my mom at a bar in Australia, how cliché?

My mom was born and raised in Australia and I could never understand two people who were so different, could last these 17 years together. That’s a long time together with the same person. There had to be something that kept them together this long despite their difference. But some things I will never understand.

The more I thought about this potential change in life, the worse it got. What was I going to do? What about Nick? I couldn’t take him with me. His parents would never go for that. How could I get out of this?

Over the next couple of weeks I tried yelling, it didn’t work, I tried arguing, nothing. Even crying fell on deaf ears. I would have thrown myself on the ground and had a tantrum if I thought it might help. As it ended up, I couldn’t get out of this. I was soon on my way to getting passport pictures taken and having to say goodbye to my friends and Nick. I was devastated.

During all my turmoil I always had my best friend Elissa. We had been friends since the fourth grade, and she was going to miss me. I didn’t blame her, I’m a great person. You can’t replace someone like me, it’s impossible.

When Elissa and her family moved in across the street from me, we weren’t friends right away. We actually hated each other up until her mother babysat for my brother and me. We were forced to play together everyday, but it worked out in the long run. We were inseparable now. We didn’t do anything without each other and told each other everything. We knew what each other was thinking and nobody knew me better than Elissa. I couldn’t get away with anything, and neither could she.

So after I told her about my mom’s plans, it had set in, Elissa was planning to throw me a going away party a week before I left. What would I do without Elissa by my side to talk to everyday? She wouldn’t be across the street anymore.

I was spending the days before my party helping my Mom sew my name into every piece of clothing I owned, even my underwear. How embarrassing. Even my radio, my shoes, my shampoo bottles, had a permanent reminder of my name.

The day of my party, my mom thought I needed a new haircut for my brand new school. I was too involved with my magazine to really pay attention to my haircut in progress. When I finally looked up, my bangs were only an inch and a half long. I tried to pull them down, but with my curly hair, they just popped back up. Ugh!!

I arrived with Elissa at our other friend, Jenny’s house and Nick was already there.

Hey Baby. He greeted me with a hug and kiss

Hi Sweetie. He was so cute

What am I going to do while you’re gone?

Elissa will take care of you.

He perked right up.

I hit him lightly, Not that way.

Elissa said, I don’t want to hear any whining out of you Nick.

I don’t whine. He does.Whatever."

We spent the night eating, laughing, and reminiscing. I went home that night and tried to come to terms with where I was headed in a few days. We had fun which made it harder to leave knowing I wouldn’t have my friends around to talk to me. I was going to be homesick, I knew that already.

With only a week to live, literally that’s how I felt. I did everything with my friends and Nick before I had to leave. I promised to write all the time. I promised to love Nick forever.

The night before I was to leave, I spent alone with Nick. We took a ride in his car, parked and talked. It was our last night together and we wanted to spend it wisely. We wouldn’t have this for at least 6 months, I took advantage of it.

I don’t know what he had told Penny about where he was, and I didn’t care. At this moment, it was just us, no one else mattered.

All I cared about was being next to him, hearing his voice, and his warm skin next to mine. He made me feel so safe.

I don’t know how I was going to be away from him for so long, knowing that he would have Penny to take my place.

My heart was hurt as I thought what I might not have when I did eventually come home.

The day of my flight, Elissa came with my family and me to the airport very early in the morning. We all stood at the gate waiting for me flight to be called.

Elissa said, You better write to me. I don’t want to hear any excuses and you have to tell me everything that happens.

I will I promise.

"You know you’re leaving me with Jenny, I don’t know if she’ll be around when

you get back."

I laughed That’s fine with me.

Even though I knew I would be back in six months for Christmas, it still didn’t help me get on the plane any faster.

My secret plan was to go for six months. I could get through that, but coming back after Christmas was something I didn’t want to think about. I had no intention of ever going back after that. I prepared to hate this new school and everything about it.

I got on the plane after hugging everyone. But I left angry, sad, and determined to not enjoy myself. Maybe, just maybe they would see how unhappy I was and feel sorry for me enough to let me stay home.

Chapter 4

Flying wasn’t new to me; I had been flying since I was young, although never alone. I had been to Brazil, Fiji and had lived in far off places, such as South Africa and Canada. I had already visited Australia twice before, so I thought I had some understanding about what to expect of the country when I got off the plane and saw my other family.

Once I was seated in my window seat, I was immediately homesick. All I could think of was Nick, and everything I left behind. I stared out the window at the wing and hoped no one sat next to me. I imagined that the school would be like a prison, the girls would be weird, the teacher’s would be evil, I wouldn’t make any friends and cry all the time. I didn’t see a silver lining, bad, worse, and horrible were all I could focus on. All the while I was away life back home would go on without me...

I was flying to Los Angeles first, then Honolulu, then Auckland, New Zealand, and finally Melbourne, Australia. This trip would take twenty-seven hours, including lay over’s. I sat in my seat kept to myself, and wondered what lay ahead.

It’s hard for me to keep busy on long flights especially when my thoughts are sad. It felt like it would never end, but I was really good at dazing off into nothing, over thinking everything and imagining things that hadn’t happened yet. I couldn’t help but wonder what lay ahead at this new school, with family I barely know, with nothing remotely familiar to comfort myself with.

I tried to sleep on the plane, but it didn’t come. The flight dragged on for hours and eventually I managed a couple of hours sleep from Hawaii, but it wasn’t peaceful sleep.

I hadn’t seen my Mom’s family, Uncle Jim, Aunt Gail and my two cousins, Abigail and Owen in about three years. My cousins were both younger than me by four to five years, so I don’t have a lot in common with either of them. I would be staying with them on the weekends and any holidays or breaks during my school year.

I was not close to my other family for just the fact we were on two separate continents. But now I would be thrust into their lives and expected to get to know them, they were practically strangers to me.

When I touched down in Melbourne and got off the plane, I had so much luggage for one person to gather in baggage claim. I’m sure I was quite the sight, me trying to get my luggage off the conveyer belt and on to two stupid trolleys and then pushing them through customs.

All that work and I didn’t even get a stamp in my passport. I guess I never arrived, or for that matter ever left.

Now, I had to find my other family or temporary family I spotted them through the long, glass partition and made my way over to them pushing my trolley’s, barely seeing over the top. I rolled up to them and they started talking. What were these words? What the hell were they saying?

My ears popped and I managed to hear my Uncle Jim said, Well hello Samantha. In a muffled voice.

Hi.

I was so deaf from the air pressure, nothing made sense. More words were said and hugs were given, and with hand signs and head nods we were out the door and to the car. Everything was moving so fast and soon I was scrunched into the back seat of a weird car I’d never seen back home.

The moment I got in the car, the song on the radio was Bryan Adams, Everything I Do, I Do It For You, and immediately thought of Nick, our song. Why was I being punished? What had I done in my life to deserve this?

I had forgotten how weird it was seeing the driver on the right side of the car and driving on the left side of the road. It was going to take some time getting used too. I had arrived at night, and the city did look pretty. Tomorrow may look different in the daylight.

We made our way to their house, or my new weekend home. I made up my cot; yes a cot, which I would be sleeping on whenever I was there. Everyone spoke funny. The air was different. It was new and it didn’t feel like home.

I was so tired. I didn’t know what time it was, but I knew I had been up for way too long. I got my jammies on and slept for eighteen hours.

I had arrived and for the next six months I would try my hardest to never come back.

My surroundings were not comforting.

I wasn’t supposed to start school for another week. So over the next few days I went with Aunt Gail to prepare myself for school.

My school was located in the suburbs of Melbourne. So many trees, I had never seen so many. I’m used to concrete, and a lot of it.

We went to the uniform shop located at school, and got my new uniforms for winter and summer.

I tried on what I would be wearing on a daily basis. Since it was August and cold in Melbourne, my first uniform was the winter one. It consisted of a full length wool skirt down to the middle of my shins, checkered dark blue and green, brown tights, a long sleeve white, buttoned down shirt and a long sleeve green sweater, with my blue blazer over that. I was snug.

My summer uniform was a short sleeve, white dress, checkered blue and green with white socks over my knees. And both of these beautiful outfits were topped off with brown, laced up shoes. I looked like a doily.

I also had a sports or physical education uniform. It was a white polo shirt with a green and blue stripe running across the top. Then a green pleated mini skirt and green bloomers. The bloomers were supposed to go over your underwear. I don’t know how I was supposed to play sports in that little uniform. Thank God there were no guys at this school.

The days before school I ran errands with my Aunt, staying pretty busy writing letter after letter to Nick and Elissa.

When it came time for school to start, my Aunt and Uncle drove me to the boarding house and my new home, or where I would sleep and eat. Since I was starting half way through they’re year, there was no room for me to stay with the other year ten’s. So I was put with a roommate in the year eleven section.

Everything seemed so ancient, the buildings were at least 50 plus years old, I could smell the decaying lives of past 16 year olds as their youth was sucked out of them.

My Aunt and Uncle helped me arrange my room and made my bed on the top bunk. I took the top bunk because I had always wanted bunk beds growing up and I thought it might be fun.

In each room, we each had a closet, a desk and a chair. The room was plain and it made me feel so much more alone, my homesickness was more apparent. I knew there would be people to meet, and I hated meeting new people.

The boarding house, which I will now refer to as the B.H. was split up into three sections. There was the main house where the year seven’s through year ten’s lived, and where everyone ate their meals. Then there was 1st cottage where the year eleven’s lived and then 2nd cottage where the year twelve’s lived. Each cottage had bathrooms, showers, a laundry area, a living area with couches, a television and VCR.

The mistresses, who ran the B.H., sat at a table in main house all day up until 10:00 pm. They were on shifts, one from the morning until the afternoon and then the afternoon through to the next morning. They watched where you went, took phone messages and kept order. If you wanted to leave the B.H., you had to check out and then check back in. Your every movement was accounted for.

After Aunt Gail and Uncle Jim left, I had some time to kill. I spent time writing more letters to Nick ad Elissa, now that I knew my brand new address. I unpacked the rest of my stuff and stayed in my room until my roommate arrived.

I looked around at where I would be spending the next six months. The B.H and surrounding buildings were depressing as hell. My 10 x 10 room was closing in on me. I didn’t think I would be able to do this.

My roommate walked in a few hours later with all her stuff in tow, but no parents. I thought that was odd.

I looked up as she walked in, Hi, you must be Samantha, I’m Ming.

Hi, everyone calls me Sam. I got up to shake her hand.

She put her stuff down, shook my hand. She smiled, It looks like you’re already situated here.

I had some time on my hands. I hope you don’t mind I took the top?

No not at all. Have you met anyone else yet?

No.

Come on then, let me introduce you to the ones that are here.

Umm ok. Not really wanting to, but feeling I should at least try to fit in.

I followed behind her out the door and into the living room and then across to the main house where she introduced me to a few of the girls what were there. If I had known that most girls didn’t come back until late, I would have done the same thing, note to self. Ming gave me a quick tour of