Leaves from My Notebook

You may have heard of the clergyman who was converted while preaching his own sermon! Well, this is man -- William Haslam. It happened in Cornwall one Sunday in 1851. He later wrote his autobiography in two books: From Death into Life and Yet not I. In Leaves from my Notebook, William Haslam writes about events and people not present in his autobiography. They make fascinating and challenging reading as we watch him sharing his faith, one to one or in small groups, with dramatic results. Haslam was a man who mixed easily with titled gentry and the poorest of the poor, bringing the message of salvation in a way that people were ready to accept. This book has been lightly edited to make reading easier today by using modern punctuation and avoiding over-long sentences. William Haslam's amazing message is unchanged.

Leaves from

My Notebook

William Haslam

(1818-1905)

First Published 1889

This edited and abridged edition ©Chris Wright 2016

e-Book ISBN: 978-0-9935005-2-7

Published by

White Tree Publishing

Bristol

UNITED KINGDOM

wtpbristol@gmail.com

All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of the copyright owner of this abridged edition.

Scripture quotations from The Authorized (King James) Version. Rights in the Authorized Version are vested in the Crown. Reproduced by permission of the Crown’s patentee, Cambridge University Press.

More books from White Tree Publishing

Contents

About this book

Cover

Editor's Note

Introduction

PART 1

1. MY FIRST SERMON IN LONDON

2. A TRANSACTION WITH GOD

3. THE PARISH CLERK

4. I WAS A HAPPY BOY THEN

5. A SAVING GOD

6. THAT'S A BARGAIN

7. THE YOUNG JOCKEY

8. COME BY MISTAKE

9. THE OLD GENERAL

10. THAT COUPLE

11. THE DINNER DRESS

12. ENDORSE THE CHEQUE

13. I HAVE GOOD NEWS FOR YOU

14. YES, TONIGHT

15. I CANNOT FEEL IT

16. I'M ON FIRE

17. THAT BIG BEN

18. THE HORRIBLE PIT

19. I DREAMT I WAS DEAD

20. I AM ORDERED OFF

21. A PRAISE MEETING

PART 2

22. SWINGING ON THE GATE

23. I HOPE SO

24. TESTIMONY

25. THE LATCH

26. THE JOY OF HEAVEN

27. ASHAMED TO DIE

28. THE ANGRY MAN

29. THE DUMB DEVIL

30. I HAVE GIVEN UP RELIGION

31. HASLAM'S PEN

32. THE TORN BOOK

33. GRAVE CLOTHES

34. THAT UMBRELLA DID IT

35. THE CROWN OF PEACE

36. COMING, IS HE?

37. CAST AWAY

38. I AM A BARONET TOO

39. THE DOORMAT CHRISTIAN

40. I AM SO UNREAL

MORE BOOKS

ABOUT WHITE TREE PUBLISHING

CHRISTIAN NONFICTION

CHRISTIAN FICTION

YOUNGER READERS

Editor's Note

Victorian authors generally wrote in long sentences that can be hard to unravel, when readers had more time for reading than many of us do today. This book has been slightly abridged, and many sentences have been broken into two or even three, and modern punctuation has been used. The occasional outdated or obsolete word has been replaced, but the message is completely unchanged. I would like to thank Geraint Jones for kindly allowing me the use of the OCR scan he made from the original book.

The main message of Haslam's writing in Leaves from My Notebook is that there is more to the Christian life than conversion. For many, it's time to start moving forward! In 2005 I abridged William Haslam's double volume autobiography (From Death into Life and Yet not I) into a single paperback book. It is published by Highland Press (ISBN: 978-18979137-8-9) entitled Haslam's Journey.

Chris Wright

2016

Introduction by the Original Author

This book is divided into two parts. The first part contains cases of anxious persons who have already experienced conversion; and the second part refers to converted people who have received a further blessing.

It is important to distinguish between pardon and deliverance. It is clear we need a Saviour to save us from the penalty of sin, and equally so, that we need a living Physician to deliver us from the power of sin.

The picture shows children playing at a gate. One boy is seen balancing himself on the top, with arms extended in high glee, as happy as a king. Others are timidly clinging to the sides of the gate. Others are pushing the gate to and fro; while one is sprawling on the ground.

Too many converted people are like these children. They are swinging on the gate of conversion, instead of leaving it, to pass on their heavenward way.

I have endeavoured as much as possible to conceal the names of people and places, for my object has not been to tell the particular history of any individual, but to state the case for the good of others.

These stories have been so much blessed, and I have been asked so often to publish these in a book form, that I now comply, with prayer that the volume may help many anxious ones, and otherwise promote the glory of God.

W. Haslam

1889

Part 1

Problems After Conversion

Chapter 1

My First Sermon in London.

THE first time I preached in London after my conversion, I found it very cold and hard. There was no hearty response, or Amen, such as I was accustomed to hear in Cornwall. On the whole the sermon to me was like a discouraging battle, and I was not sorry when it was over.

In the vestry the Vicar said he thought that I was very excitable, and that his quiet people had been too much agitated.

I was rather surprised at this, for I thought they were very far from excited. However, I may have been mistaken. While we were talking, there came a loud knock at the door. The Vicar said, Come in; and a gentleman entered in a great state of perturbation. He said, Oh, sir, do help me! What shall I do?

There, said the Vicar, did I not tell you----

Oh, sir! interrupted the stranger, I am sure you can help me. I have been in distress about my soul for over three weeks. I have been tempted more than once to shoot myself, and tonight I have been thinking of drowning myself in the river.

Sit down, my friend, I said. Let me understand your trouble. What is it all about?

He answered, I was awakened under a sermon from the text, 'Choose you this day whom ye will serve.' I was much alarmed at what I heard, for I felt I had not been serving God, or even trying to do so. I have been serving the world. What is worse, I am so tangled up in it that I cannot get free. There is nothing but ruin before me if I give up the world, and perdition if I do not. It has nearly driven me mad!

I said, I do not think that God desires to ruin you, or anyone else. His desire and will is to do you good, both in this world and the next. He cares for you and yours far more than you care for yourselves. You had better trust Him.

But suppose I trust Him and He takes away everything I possess! Why, I should be a ruined man!

I replied, But on the other hand, suppose you keep all your possessions and go on as you are. What will become of you then?

Oh, I know all about that too. That is the very thing which distracts me. It will just drive me out of my mind.

I continued, David said, 'Let me fall into the hand of God, and not into the hand of man' (2 Samuel 24:14). Ruin or no ruin, if I were you I would give myself up to God.

Then again, he said, you see I am such a sinner. I have been sinning against light and knowledge.

I answered, Did you hear that hymn we were singing in church just now?

That last hymn do you mean: 'There is a fountain filled with blood'?

Yes, I replied, that one.

Why yes, he said, I have known that hymn ever since I was a child. I have been well taught. So that means my sin is all the greater, you see.

My dear man, you do not know that hymn yet. It does not say that sinners plunged beneath the Thames, but sinners plunged beneath the blood, lose all their guilty stains. The dying thief was a bad man, I went on to say, and yet his sins were pardoned through that blood. And there may you, though vile as he, wash all your sins away. I advise you to go to this fountain, cost what it may. There you may get rid of your sins and become God's child. Then be sure, He will know how to provide both for you and yours.

I never thought of the meaning of that hymn, he said, with some surprise.

God has awakened and shown you what a sinner you are, on purpose that you may come to Him for forgiveness. Come now, everything is ready. The dying thief believed. Why may not you?

After a little more persuasion, this troubled man fell on his knees and begged God to forgive him. He pleaded with a loud voice, to the evident astonishment of the Vicar and his churchwarden. Seeing that I was in no way alarmed, they remained, I suppose to witness what would happen next.

There was only one thing to happen. I urged the man to pray, and when his prayer was deep and earnest enough, I assured him of God's answer. I said, God would not offer pardon to a sinner such as you, and then refuse you when you came. Thank Him.

He had not turned in that direction long, before the dear man's soul was set at liberty, and he began to rejoice and praise God. He rose from his knees and came forward to shake hands with me, and no doubt would have turned to the Vicar and churchwarden to do the same. But they had fled, leaving us to find our way out of the church as best we could.

Lost in wonder, love, and praise, my friend looked at me, and said, I do not mind now what happens to me. I can trust God, and I will. Lord, help me.

I assured him that God does not show us our faults to ruin us, but to save and set us free. Quietly trust Him, I said. Do not put your hand to anything that you see is wrong, or that is against your conscience. Rather lose the benefit which might accrue from such an action, for it will be no real benefit to you.

He went away a changed man, at peace with God, and determined to follow the Lord, come what might. After this, whenever he heard of my being in London, he found me, and his testimony was, The Lord is good. I am not a ruined man, but happy and prosperous. My business is changed, and my wife is happy too. It is a blessed thing to be on the Lord's side.

Some ten years after this man's conversion I was telling his story to illustrate a point in my address, and remarked that I had not seen my friend lately, when a voice cried out from the audience, All right, I am here, thank God.

This voice startled some timid people, but added weight and confirmation to the subject I was urging.

We should never give way to despair, for that is unbelief in a dangerous form; but when we come to our extremity, turn to the Lord. This is His opportunity. He that believeth is not confounded.

The blood of Jesus is certain in its pardoning efficacy. The dying thief was forgiven while that blood was still warm and flowing. Multitudes of persons have been forgiven since, and multitudes more will be, through the same. It is true, as the poet says, that that blood...

"Shall never lose its power,

Till all the ransomed Church of God

Be saved to sin no more."

Chapter 2

A Transaction with God

I WAS speaking one afternoon in a drawing room on the subject of spiritual religion. I said, It does not consist in knowing Scripture truth, or in assenting to articles of the Christian faith, but rather in definite transactions with God. God says, 'Give me your heart;' and you reply, 'Lord, take it.'

A gentleman of high taste and good degree was sitting by reading a newspaper, in which he appeared to be deeply absorbed. I did not imagine he was listening to our conversation, but putting down his paper, he said, I quite agree with you, sir. I do not suppose there is much good in simply assenting to words of Scripture.

I inquired, Have you, then, ever had a transaction with God?

Yes, I have, he replied, a very remarkable one. It was nine years ago, but I have never told anyone of it.

Surely, I said, it is time then to say something about it now. What was it?

I have no objection to tell you, he answered, wheeling his chair round. "I was away, and in danger of my life. It was just a choice between yellow fever and being shot during an insurrection. I did not like to face the one or the other, and in great perplexity walked about my room. I took up a book and laid it down again. Then I took up something else, but I could not rest.

"At last I fell to unpacking my portmanteau, and there I espied my mother's Bible. Taking it up, I said to myself, 'Ah, my dear old mother was the one to help me out of trouble. I never applied to her in vain!' So thinking, I began to look over the leaves of her precious Bible. It was marked from end to end both in pencil and in ink. Here and there were strong marks attracting attention. One such caught my eyes, and I read the verse opposite to it. It was, 'Call upon Me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify Me' (Psalm 1:15).

Sir, when I read these words, I felt as if my mother's spirit was in the room speaking to me. I knelt down at once and called upon the Almighty to deliver me out of danger. Would you believe it, sir, I received an answer, in my mind, as clearly as if my mother had given it to me!

Yes, I answered, I can readily believe what you tell me; but what did you do?

Do? he repeated. There was only one thing to do. I packed up my traps and came off immediately, wondering why I had not seen this way before. I had a safe journey and reached London without any harm. Now, what do you think about that, sir? Is not that a transaction with God?

Yes, I replied quietly, that is part of the transaction. The text says, 'I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify Me;' but you say that you have never told anyone. What did you do when you reached London in safety? Did you kneel down and thank God for answering your prayer?

As he remained silent, I continued, Do you mean to tell me that you never thanked God? Nine years have passed away without your making any acknowledgment to Him, and that you have not even told anyone of His goodness to you?

He looked somewhat ashamed and confused, so I said, You had better do it now -- at once. Better late than never. Thank God now.

He pushed back his chair, and kneeling down gave the Almighty thanks for having saved his life, and apologised for not having done so before. On my honour, he said, I never thought about it.

Now, I proposed, you are on your knees, why not let us ask God to save your soul, and show you the way to heaven? He would rather do that than save your life.

As my friend continued in the attitude of prayer, I prayed for him to this effect, and after a little while he prayed for himself. When he rose from his knees he could not help expressing surprise at his forgetfulness.

I said to him, "Supposing that you had exercised your influence to obtain some favour for me, and I went off to enjoy it without thanking you, or taking any notice. Would you do me another favour, do you think?"

No, sir, he answered, certainly not.

Well, I said, now you may understand why it is that nine years have passed away, without you having had any other transaction with God. When we receive such distinct answer to prayer as you did, we ought to acknowledge it, at least as earnestly as we prayed for it.

Yes, yes, I quite agree with you; but why did I forget like that?

This gentleman began from that day to seek the Lord. The next time I met my friend he told me of his conversion; and added, This time I did not forget to thank the Lord, I assure you, or to make known to others what a forgiving and loving God He is.

Henceforth it became the mission of his life, to speak to people on this very subject. He made it his business to