The Strive for Life and Love

Chapter One

Nicholas Blackstone views the Palace of Versailles in the distance as his carriage rolls pass it.  He believes the beautiful building is the largest construction completed by man.  Though he does not travel as vast as other individuals do, he is quite sure nothing else compares to the structure.

Fatigue from the early rise causes him to lean back in the carriage and close his eyes.  He admits blame for a long drunken night, but bedding a willing woman shall not entirely become his fault alone.  Bella simply desires a sexual connection too much to turn her down.  She is pretty and lusts after him, but he really does not believe he shall progress further in a relationship with her.  He feels horrible for allowing her to think he shall, but she does not assist in turning her away.  He is able to find pleasure with her, without commitment, anytime of his desire.  As a bachelor, he does not know a single man that will not do as he does.  Late night frolicking and early rise, keeps all, but God, ignorant of the sin. 

As he laughs to himself and opens his eyes, the carriage stops in front of his current home located on the outskirts of the city.  Not in a rush, he awaits his driver to open the door.  He begins to wonder if he relies too much on a given life rather than creating his life.  He grew up a son of a lord.  A second son by birth order, but still the son of a lord.  With such, he obtained education and good social connections as he grew up and became a man.  All went to shite assisting his brother steal gold from the king over the loss of the woman he loves, but Nicholas will not deny his life of privilege.

The coach door opens and Nicholas exits as his butler opens the front door for him to enter.  Nicholas does not remember the last time he opened a door on a carriage or home.  Obviously, his bedroom door opens by his hands, but others do not.  He supposes that it does not truly matter to those living in such grandeur as him.  Twas not normal for the rich to worry about their lives of excessive ease.  They pay others to gain privilege of laziness.  Yet, on speaking about life with commoners, Nicholas often wonders why he continues to live life in a lazy manner rather than hard work as others learn to do.  He took pride in caring for his horse as a child.  Moreover, the education of wielding a sword entertained him immensely as a boy waiting to become a man as well as now.  The activity also enables his body to develop finely with muscle and strength.  He supposes he may view it as his strives to live life, but all of it is lessons, not life.  He never battles another swordsman to defend a manor.  He has not killed a man that attempts to take what he owns.  He imagines men, like Lord Samuel Rothchild, will laugh upon a challenge from him.  However, as the man did mercenary work, Nicholas wonders if Samuel felt all jobs as his strive to live when in battle or obtaining coin through talent. 

As Nicholas begins to ascend the marble stairs, he thinks of his sister.  She is now his only living relative.  However, she now possesses title and the last name of Rothchild, Nicholas shall always think of her as baby Sabrina.  He loves her deeply.  Her beauty, innocence and love will always bring warmth to his heart.  Even though he has not seen her in a long while, he knows she will now appear with the same beauty as their mother.  At birth, she appeared nearly identical to the paintings of his mother as an infant.  Therefore, he knows that she forms into the same beauty as his mother.  God rest her soul! 

Entering into his bedroom, Nicholas feels a need to cry.  He loved his mother deeply as many on the manor did.  He shall never forget the day she died giving birth to his stillborn brother.  God may have given him that day as a challenge, but he will attest to his strive to release the anger he felt, not the challenge from God.  The hurt and pain of the loss will never settle as he has settled with God for allowing it to happen. 

He begins to take off his clothing as he walks towards the bed.  Tossing the clothes about as he disrobes, Nicholas attempts to remember if his schedule contains anything today.  He needs sleep now and any task shall complete better if it waits.  He believes nothing occurs today, but he also believes he can reschedule if needed.  He sits upon his large bed and begins to discard his expensive boots.  He swears the more boots cost reflects on the difficulty of placing them on and off your feet.  He does not believe he ever bought clothes as expensive as the clothes purchased in France.  Of course, he once cared upon the cost because as a second son he knew his brother shall inherit their father’s fortune and he will need to earn his own.  One thing to be thankful for is he no longer need worry on such matters after stealing six chests of gold coins from the king of his original origin.  Now, he simply decides on clothes based on suggestions from the tailor and hands the coins desired for payment.  The whole ordeal does not require him to demand anything to ensure low cost, as he does not lack in coin.  Yet, he wonders if his father would feel the same about his frivolous spending.  Nicholas highly doubts he would approve, but the man is dead.

Finally able to remove both boots, Nicholas stands to discard his pants.  So many tiny buttons hidden by the tailor does make the chore much more difficult when tired.  He simply feels like ripping them off, but he knows that will just create a moment that he designs an obstacle rather than simply remove his pants.  Since he is rather fond of this pair, he decides to get aggressive and unbutton his pants.

He places the pants on a chair near the bed.  As he turns to pull back the covers, he notices his appearance in the mirror above the fireplace.  His face appears fuller than it was when arriving in France, but he knows it is not from lack of exercise from sex.  He supposes he could blame the wonderful food prepared for him, but tis probably more complicated than just food.  His life is mundane and without action.  He rises in the morning and prepares for the day.  Then, he takes care of anything demanding his attention, which is usually rare.  Later in the eve, he may talk with a friend or drink at the tavern not far from his home.  He no longer rides his horse to travel, as the carriage is available.  The most exercise he completed in the last six months was teaching his friend Stephan’s younger brother how to handle a sword.  He finds the activity fun and intends to help further educate the boy, but once the boy learns the skill, Nicholas does not know what he will do to replace the activity.

As he lies down in bed, Nicholas begins to think of his interests.  He believes that finding an activity of interest may rest him.  Yet, he cannot think of any of his interests that occupy time productively.  Sex with a woman or drinking with a friend does not supply any productivity.  Well, unless your sense of productivity is your confessions to the priest. 

He knows there is many a man in his same predicament.  Plenty of money to live upon and nothing to occupy time in a positive way.  He is sure a wife and kids would change such, but he does not have interest in that lifestyle.  At least, not yet anyways.  However, he does wonder what his future wife will look like.  He knows that young girls often envision whom they shall marry.  Men generally take what is available.  Yet, if all his life is perfect for him, why not imagine the perfect woman to meet, marry and procreate children.  Closing his eyes, he imagines a woman with a slender body and large breasts.  He knows tis lustful images, but if a dream why not make it desirable.  Height matters not to him.  He does not believe there are many women that tower over him.  Moreover, if they do, he may see her breasts at eye level and no man will argue that as inappropriate.  He feels his body warm as the image in his mind grows with detail.

She possesses beautiful green eyes that appear as emeralds.  He will love to lose all around him as he looks into her eyes.  The beautiful jewels should display understanding, compassion, love and, most of all, lust for only him.  With such eyes, he will never travel far from her.

The next factor to imagine is her mouth.  Plumb lips offer better invite than a woman with flat lips.  He imagines his dream woman with such luscious lips that his mouth continues to desire contact with them.  With his tongue, he will entice her to kiss in so many ways.   

As the full image builds in his mind, he wishes her existence so he may wrap his arms around her and continue his quest for sleep.  She is beauty.  His wonderful creation of what he truly desires in a woman.  He dreams to meet a woman of such worth that he is unable to turn away.  However, for now, he must only dream of her.  He prays to see her in his dream as sleep takes over him.

Chapter Two

Pierre Cardone looks out at his pasture to see if a proper amount of grass is available for the horses.  He sees many great horses as they stroll through the pasture and graze.  He knows many will fetch a good price once on market.  His entire life operates upon these great animals and his talent to breed.  He knows his investment of time and money shall payoff greatest for his daughter, Christine.  He takes great pride in what he shall provide her upon his death.

She will inherit all upon his death, as she is his only child.  He knows she will not continue his business as it is the work of a man, not a woman.  He knows not if her husband will continue the work either, but Pierre feels he will know more once her future husband approaches him for her hand.  The ability to choose her husband for her eases his business mind.  He intends to secure a man that understands the operation of a horse breeder or is willing to employ such a man to keep the business in operation.  Allowing her to marry a man of business ensures she and her children are supplied money even if the king decides increase taxes thrice times the current rate.

As Pierre’s gaze turns to the right, he becomes angry upon sight of his prize mare out at pasture.  The girl is about to birth any day now.  Why did his hands allow her out of the stall?

Andrew, why is my prize mare out in pasture?  Do you not realize she is to birth any day?

Pierre turns around abruptly so Andrew may see his anger. 

Uh...I do not know, sir.  I did not allow her out of her stall.  One of the other hands is responsible.  I will find out whom after I secure her back in her stall.

As Pierre sees the man’s face flush from the stress, he knows Andrew speaks the truth.

Good.  See to it that whoever is responsible knows that if she gives birth out in the pasture, they will no longer work for me and any damages to the babe will come out of their pocket.  If they intend to work, I demand they do it properly.  These beauties are my investment.  I shall not allow another to take what I accomplish from me.  Do you understand?

Yes, sir.

Pierre watches Andrew race off to secure the mare.  He knows he is probably too harsh on Andrew as it is not his fault.  However, he needs to instill in all that his business and the money made from it takes precedence over anything else in his life.  Pierre will not tell his wife or daughter so, but he knows that deep in his heart it is the truth.  The business is the longest companion of his life.  As a child, he thought of the business.  He began work in his teens at any job possible to secure funds to start his business.  With the business, he secured his wife and built upon the land he owns.  Soon, the business will assist in securing a husband for his daughter.  Should his business fail, all those he loves will suffer and his life will lose meaning. 

Rather than think negative thoughts, Pierre decides to walk to his home and relax.  The day is beginning to get stressful.  His doctor will demand he rest before his heart suffers pain, if he hears of Pierre’s stress.  Not that he always believes the man, but his body is not feeling of ease.

Entering through the back, Pierre finds his wife placing a batch of her roses in a vase.  She loves those beautiful flowers.  Pierre always believes that her love of creating flowers and his love of breeding horses is what ties them together. 

They appear pure beauty, Deidra.   announces Pierre as he leans towards her and kisses her cheek.

Thank you.  I chose not to travel to market today.  My beautiful roses require attention.  Christine and I shall go tomorrow.

Pierre forgot his wife intended to take their daughter shopping today.  Obviously, she does not require funds to do so or she will ask.

Please remind me of what you will shop for with Christine.  I simply do not remember what the dear girl requires of us now.

Pierre knows Deidra is not happy with all his words.  A look of sorrow plagues her face as she looks around.  Twas not a look of anger, but a look as if he heckles her ambition to provide for their daughter.  He knows he needs to stay up-to-date with Christine if she is to find a suitable husband, but shopping never keeps his attention.

Our dear little girl needs new shoes and some unmentionables.

Pierre nods as he realizes why he forgets.  He is the girl’s father and a father does not care to think of his child shopping for undergarments.

Do you still have a decent amount of funds from this month?  I do not see anything new.  So, I assume your monthly spending fund is available.

Deidra chuckles at her husband and states, My wonderful man, I still have my monthly fund from two months ago.  You know that I do not spend money frivolously.  Although, I still attempt to educate Christine on the subject of handling money.  She always seems to want something.  I sincerely doubt that King Louis can keep up with her desire to spend.

As Deidra rolls her eyes, Pierre wonders what occupies his daughter at this moment.  She obviously does not assist her mother with her roses today, as she is not present now.

Where is our princess?  Did she not feel it appropriate to assist you with the rose garden?  I know she is not out riding as her horse is still in pasture.

As Pierre smells the roses, Deidra states, No, she spends her time with her painting.  As what she is painting at this moment, I do not know.  I believe it will sell like the others though.  God blesses her with talent.  I pray she continues the trade.  In a womanly role, of course.

Yes, I may talk with her on the hobby.  The paintings do fetch good money, but the practice may not gain acceptance with her future husband.  Some men feel that only a man works as an artist.

Yes, tis not a woman’s role, but I do not believe her suitors will disapprove if the work is honest and obtains good money.  To shy away from opportunity is childish.

Pierre believes his wife does not accept Christine’s role as a woman yet.  Yes, art is good for a child as a hobby.  However, the task of art does not belong in everyday life other than looking at a painting on the wall.  She will not gain liberty to travel all over and create many masterpieces.  After time, he knows Christine will desire different images to paint as she begins to dissatisfy with painting the same image repeatedly.

No, Deidra.  I do not believe the man I allow to marry her will shy from the ability to obtain coin.  However, some men will believe the practice a distraction of her wifely and motherly duties that she owes to him.  Obviously, if he is an artist he will not mind, but I do not believe I would approve of such a man for her as artists are typically poor and know nothing about breeding horses for market.  I cannot approve such a man to marry my daughter. 

Deidra smiles as she nods in agreement.

No, Pierre, such a man will not be a good provider.  I am sure you will decide upon the perfect man for her.  Although, I do not know if she is ready to accept her position as a woman.  She does not talk with me about such matters.  I know when I reached her age my mother wished she had moments without me asking about wifely duties, whom I will marry or how to run a household.  Christine never asks a question on any of those topics.

Pierre knows his wife worries over their daughter immensely.  She always wants closeness with Christine, but Pierre always feels their daughter is more like him than Deidra.

She shall when she falls in love with the man chosen for her.  With love, she will care more about her duties to keep him happy and care less about other things, like painting.  The children and household will keep her busy.  I am sure that she will not obtain idle time once married.

Pierre knows that he cannot ensure love through marriage, but he does not believe Deidra will think too long on the matter.  Deidra has been and always will remain a follower of heart.  In her mind, marriage is simply another word for love.

You are correct, Pierre.  Tis foolish of me to doubt what you can accomplish.  I am sure the man you choose will suit her fine.

Pierre watches her body stiffen and her gaze drift to the windows.  He knows that he did not upset her with discussion of Christine’s duties.  He pulls her close and wraps his arms around her.  As she begins to look in his eyes, he asks, What is the sadness?  Do you fear our only child leaving?

Deidra’s eyes begin to tear.  She breathes deeply in attempt to calm her emotion.

Pierre, tis silly of me, but I do not want our daughter to leave.  She and I do not have long talks, but we do not argue either.  I simply worry about a man taking care of her.  What if it is not to our standards? 

Pierre chuckles as he listens to Deidra.  The woman simply voices the heart of all mothers. 

My beautiful, Deidra, trust in me to find the perfect man for Christine.  I will not choose a man incapable of providing.  Moreover, on our death, she inherits all.  Therefore, the wealth of her husband only goes up with our passing.  I shall choose a great suitor to provide for her.

As he kisses upon her forehead, Deidra prays that God will assist Pierre in finding the perfect man for Christine.  She wants nothing less than perfection for her only child.

Chapter Three

Nicholas looks around as he walks towards his favorite tavern.  He always wonders why the streets around it seem so bare.  Other businesses and houses share the street, but he rarely encounters a person outside he desires to speak to about anything.  Twas not an area of absolute crime though.  He does not worry about robbery as he walks.  He knows the common criminals do not stroll among these streets.  Well, no one other than a child that attempts to survive on the street.  He deals with them as everyone else in a city.  Just keep distance and watch their hands.

Stepping in front of the tavern, he opens the appropriate door and enters.  He will never forget the day he entered in the wrong door.  He feared for his life as the less endowed glared at him with hate.  Thankfully, the barkeep directed him to the other side to safety.  The memory of it all will haunt him for a very long time. 

As he walks in, Nicholas looks around to recognize anyone.  He earned several friends in his travels to the tavern.  Not all of them become close friends, but still friends to chat with while enjoying a drink of ale.  Not recognizing anyone within the small crowd, he sits at the bar.

Welcome, sir.  May I get you a drink? asks the barkeep.

A pint of ale, please.

After a nod, the barkeep walks to the other end of the bar to supply his order.  Nicholas does not know the man’s name, but knows he is the owner of the tavern.  The man only serves on the side of the rich.  Nicholas does not blame the man because his safety will probably diminish on the other side as the customers plot acts of crime against him.

The barkeep places the ale in front of Nicholas and moves to assist another customer.  Nicholas loves that about this place.  He is not required to give coin with every drink, but simply pay at the end.  The barkeep keeps count of everyone’s tab.  He heard the other side is not so, but Nicholas understands the need to collect at providing the drinks with those people.  In the past, Nicholas thought the man may miss count or charge more than drank, but after several visits, he knows the man is very accurate.  The man holds a talent that many do not.

As he takes a sip of his ale, Nicholas hears, I thought you to travel here, but do not expect you to drink so little.  Are you ill, my friend?

Nicholas laughs as he turns to address his friend, Stephan Pierce.  The dark haired, blue-eyed man steps closer to take a seat next to him.

Yes, my friend.  I spent much of yesterday evening drinking with a woman.  I rested most of today, but do not wish to rest most of tomorrow.

After placing an order with the barkeep, Stephan states, Oh, I see.  Therefore, I take it the drunken evening led to a sexual night.  You shall admit that the sexual encounter is what made you rest today.  Do not blame the ale, as the ale is our friend.  As many do, I generally find it harder to turn away from a good sexual encounter than a quart of ale.  However, ale expects nothing more from you than to drink it.

As both men laugh, the rest of the tavern patrons glance their direction in attempt to understand why they laugh.  Neither man notices the attention.

Indeed it is.  I mentally reviewed the whole incident this morning as my carriage brought me home.  I do not believe a man alive will turn away from what took place last night.

Interesting.  Is the girl a strumpet, mistress, cheater or are you now engaged?

Nicholas looks up at the ceiling as he thinks of how he shall answer.  He does not lie to Stephan, but he is unsure of how Stephan will react to telling him the girl is none of what he mentions.  Nicholas sees her as casual enjoyment.  Most in society will consider her a mistress or a strumpet, but she does not fit such classification as neither does he provide coin to bed her nor does he provide housing or other extravagances.

Now, Stephan, do you feel it proper to speak of a woman that bestows me great pleasure and only gets the same in return.  To label the girl is judgmental and a sin.  Her identity shall not go among the masses as I refuse to speak of her.  What will society think?  So you shall simply hear of my enjoyment and nothing more.

Stephan’s lips tighten as he thinks upon an answer.  He knows his friend does not love the girl, but Stephan desires to know how she fits within his friend’s life.

Well, I shall examine all aspects of what society believes.  Any man will ask where he can get one.  Any strumpet will worry that her business will vanish.  Any mistress will believe the girl lacks a brain to gain from pleasure.  A cheater may become her friend and her enemy as she may steal the man that pleasures the cheater.  Moreover, a wife or fiancé will have her arrested for immoral behavior.  I personally will need to meet the girl before I made a decision.

"Nay, you shall not meet her as I