Arianna's Tale: The Beginning

Arianna’s Tale

The Beginning

D. J. Humphries

©2014 D.J. Humphries

To My Father and Mother

Without whom I would have never believed I could follow my dreams.

Prologue

Here I was, starting my senior year of high school, and moving halfway across the country; okay, that’s an exaggeration, across two states.

Why?

Well, quite honestly, I had stopped to ask myself that same exact question multiple times.

It happened about a month earlier, when we were just finishing up the school year, but I guess really it started years ago….

My parents got divorced when I was twelve, my brother, Austin, had just turned fourteen, and our younger brother, Jason, was eight.

My dad is a police detective, and a good one at that, but he’s a workaholic, and he was never home. He missed all sorts of things, and practically seemed to have forgotten that he had a wife and three kids at home to take care of. That is not to say he didn’t take care of us at all; we were financially stable, and he made sure we had everything we needed, aside from our dad. He wasn’t surprised when Mom asked for a divorce, and he didn’t fight her for anything. He made sure we stayed well taken care of, and left us in the house we’d grown up in, and he moved away, into a new city and a new job a couple of states away.

So we grew up without Dad, and practically without Mom, because she ran off and opened her own little boutique in the town and spent all of her free time there. Austin, being the oldest, and being as responsible as he was, took over.

Come to think of it, that’s probably what made him become what he did: the super popular, brainy, athletic, confident, gorgeous guy that all of the girls at school fawned over and wanted to date; which is exactly what Jason was becoming as he grew up, except he was a bit of a playboy. It’s hard to think of my little brother being a playboy… But it’s harder to deal with the fact that my small circle of friends, which consisted completely of girls, liked one of my brothers at all times. Jason took to flirting with them, but Austin had always been really respectful and kept his distance from my friends. Honestly, he’d never really brought girls around the house at all, and it wasn’t because he was busy studying, those brains of his were some freakish natural gift that skipped me; I wasn’t entirely sure he even dated.

Dating was another ordeal entirely! Mom didn’t care if we dated, even Jason, and he was only twelve! But Austin… Austin was definitely the over-protective, big-brother type… and since he was so popular, and had so much influence in the school, I couldn’t get a boyfriend at all. It wasn’t like guys didn’t like me; I could see them watching me, the really daring ones might chance flirting with me if they were really bold, but Austin had somehow gotten word out to stay away from me.

So anyway, my world got turned upside down at the end of my Junior year… Austin was graduating and going off to college in the city where Dad worked, and things were just going to continue as always. Or so I thought….

Chapter 1

It was the day of Austin’s graduation party, and I was upstairs getting ready when there was a knock on my door. Now, you have to understand, at some point in time, things had gotten… awkward… between Austin and me. I think I was about fourteen and he was fifteen… and he hadn’t set foot in my room ever since. We’d grown up almost inseparable, spending practically all of our time together, all three of us, really, but one day, all of that just stopped. So when I opened my door and six feet of lean muscle stepped inside, closed the door, and leaned back against it, I was not only confused, but also a little worried. Not to say he didn’t look nice, he was dressed up in slacks and a light blue button-up shirt that made his blue eyes pop against his tanned skin; another one of those things he had that I didn’t, I burned if I was out in the sun too long. Oh, and we can’t forget the hair, despite his actual personality, his hair looked like it belonged on a skater: shaggy, but cut just so it would always highlight his best features, and a deep auburn color that matched Dad’s and Jason’s, but a complete contrast to my dark brown waves. So when he was leaning against the door and very slowly looked up from the floor to meet my shocked gray gaze, he laughed faintly.

Yeah… I know… he murmured, and he did know, we always knew, Arianna… Please move in with Dad next year.

I gawked at him; he only used my full name when he was serious. What? Why would I move in with Dad? Dad’s never home.

Neither is Mom, and I could keep a better eye on you at Dad’s… I’d forego living on campus and live at Dad’s… and I don’t trust Mom’s new boyfriend… Please? There he went with the puppy-dog eyes that he had mastered when he was a kid. My big brother knew he was attractive, he knew that he could get any girl he wanted, and while he didn’t typically use that to his advantage, he still knew how to, but I shook my head.

"No. I’m looking forward to going to high school and having a normal high school experience for a year! You won’t be there, so I just might actually, finally, get a boyfriend! My first kiss! My friends could finally quit giggling anytime I walked in on them talking about… I fell silent then, my face flushing red and had to dart my eyes away from the flash of anger in his gaze. I’m looking forward… to getting those experiences that you really only get to have in high school… For Christ’s sake, Austin! I didn’t even have a date for my Junior Prom! Do you know how embarrassing that was?"

You went with my group, he countered and I looked at him again, there was pain in his voice.

But I didn’t have a date. I’m about to be seventeen, and I haven’t ever even been kissed!

Good.

Why is it good? My face was scrunched in confusion, but he smiled faintly and shook his head.

"Will you please move in with Dad? he repeated and I furiously shook my head. Arianna… I have enough friends in your grade… nobody’s going to mess with you just because I’ve gone off to college."

More gawking on my part, which shifted to anger rather quickly and I spun around to take a deep breath. No. I will not move in with Dad. I managed a relatively even tone, but didn’t dare look back at him.

But….

Is that all you wanted?

Not really… I want you to move in with Dad… he whispered and I felt the heat from him before he actually wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on top of my head.

My anger was gone, replaced with instant shock, like a splash of cold water. The hugging had stopped when the awkwardness had begun and to have him holding me made my heart skip.

Austin… what is wrong with you? I wanted it to sound angry, but it came out as a whisper and I wiggled enough to look directly over my head at him to find that distant smile on his lips which he gently pressed to my forehead.

Please move in with Dad… I’m begging here, he faintly chuckled, but his soft blue eyes widened when he realized my face was pink and I shifted my gray gaze down to the floor.

I’ll… I’ll think about it… I mumbled and he laughed, slipping around in front of me and lifting me off the floor when he hugged me tighter.

I guess that’s all I can really ask, he finalized, still holding me after he’d set my feet back on the floor. I should… finish getting ready…. I nodded and he was gone, slipping back out the door and closing it silently behind him.

I fell onto my bed, staring at my beige carpet until there was another knock on the door.

Anna! Your friends are here! It was Jason’s voice. Normally he would’ve walked off right after he said that, but I guess normally I would’ve shouted something back at him. Anna? his voice was quieter and he knocked again, lighter, and pushed the door open. Hey, Anna, what’s wrong? I jumped when he was standing right in front of me, and darted my attention up to his blue-green eyes.

Oh, hi, Jason… sorry, I faintly laughed, running my hand over his spiked hair, but unlike normally, he didn’t back away or swat my hand away.

What’s wrong? he whispered, brushing his fingers across my cheek, Why were you crying? Did Austin ask you about moving to Dad’s?

I nodded; it wasn’t that surprising that they talked to each other. What about you? We can’t leave you here to fend for yourself….

I’d love to move; but I’m not going if you’re not, he admitted with a shrug, I want the three of us to stay together, Anna, you know that.

I forgot… you’re starting high school next year… I mumbled distractedly.

What of it? Nobody messes with my sister, Jason grumbled and I laughed, standing up and hugging him.

"You’re my little brother!" I blurted with a smile, but he wasn’t little, he was already as tall as me and maybe even an inch or so taller. I’d stopped growing when I hit 5’5 and I was fine with it, until my little brother at twelve years of age, got his physical and reported he was 5’4.

Yeah… speaking of, I had my end-of-the-year physical yesterday, he started, standing up straight and my eyes widened, I’m 5’6 now. Looks like I might catch up to Dad and Austin."

That’s just… not fair… I grumbled, but hugged him again, You want to go live with Dad… don’t you?

Change of scenery would be nice, he reasoned with a shrug, Austin said he doesn’t trust Mom’s new boyfriend… and quite honestly, neither do I.

Mom’s new boyfriend… they’d been dating for a couple of months, and we only really saw him at night after they both got off of work. I didn’t get what she saw in him… Mom was really beautiful, even though she kept getting plastic surgery to keep herself looking younger and dyed her hair constantly, worrying about nonexistent gray hairs. Mark, on the other hand, was this bulky, heavyset guy who just wasn’t very attractive. He was average, and nothing against him for that, but then he’d open his mouth and he just wasn’t the brightest bulb in the bunch, and I wasn’t even sure what he did for work. I really felt like Mom could do better, but it’s not like she ever asked my opinion on anything, especially not her boyfriends. I paused long enough to consider that before I shook my head.

Get out, I’ve gotta finish getting ready… I insisted, pushing him towards my door when I heard the bell chime downstairs.

Are you okay? Jason questioned, pressing his hands to either side of the doorframe and refusing to move despite my pushing,

I’ll be fine; it’s a lot to process, I admitted quietly and his eyes scrunched with worry but he sighed and stepped backwards while I pushed the door closed.

I had to hurry then, I was running late. I slipped into a cute slate blue dress and matching heels, pulled my hair into a half-ponytail with my favorite clip, and rushed to put on a little makeup. I darted a glance in the mirror and rushed out of my room and downstairs only to stumble down the last stair and thankfully Jason caught me.

Klutz, Jason laughed, waiting until I was steady to step away from me again, You look great.

Shut up, I muttered, catching my friends hovering around Austin out of the corner of my eye, Jay… stay away from my friends today, okay?

Why? I like your friends, Jason countered playfully and I laughed, but swatted his arm.

You’re too young. Just for today, please, I requested and he shrugged, Thanks.

Austin was graciously accepting all of the attention that was thrown at him, he was good with attention, but when his bright blue eyes landed on me and he didn’t look away, my heart skipped. Boys that like you were supposed to look at you like that, not your brother, but he did get really serious about stuff… that could be making him have that intense look in his eyes.

The doorbell rang, distracting both of us, and I took the onslaught of new arrivals as an excuse to slip off to the kitchen. The kitchen was nearly empty with only Mom and her boyfriend, Mark, in it, plating various foods and setting them out on the island in the middle of the room.

There you are! Anna, help with this, I need to go change, Mom insisted and I looked at her with confusion, she looked over-dressed already, but I shrugged and started plating the deli meats while she darted up the back stairs to her room.

Sounds like a lot of people are showing up, Mark remarked, and I shrugged again. Jason and Austin had gotten into my head with the whole ‘not liking Mom’s boyfriend’ thing. Your Mom worries about things too much, doesn’t she?

She worries about herself too much… I mumbled beneath my breath and Mark chuckled.

With such a pretty daughter, she’s got to work hard to look her best, Mark laughed but I cringed and discreetly slid around the island to work on another plate further away from him.

Mom’s always pretty, I dismissed, not looking up from my work and Mark laughed.

She is, he agreed softly and for a moment I forgot my brothers’ worries, but he was suddenly right beside me, and as he reached across the table, his hand brushed my arm.

Well! That’s everything! I’m going to go hang out with my friends, I flashed him a brief smile and darted out of the kitchen, my nerves on edge as the swinging door closed behind me. As luck would have it, the only two people to notice my abrupt entrance into the living room, were my brothers and since Jason was less surrounded, he excused himself over to me.

What’s wrong? What happened? Jason insisted, but I just grabbed his arm, the connection instantly calming my nerves. Anna, what happened?

You two have made me paranoid, is what happened, I sighed, shaking my head, I’m fine, really. Nothing happened. But thanks, Jay….

You’re sure? Jason pressed and I nodded, lightly squeezing his arm before brushing my hair out of my face and making my way over to my friends after practically dragging them away from Austin.

All right kids, we’ve got food in the kitchen, help yourselves, Mom announced, blazing through the door in one of her finest dresses with her hair all fixed and makeup done up.

First was food, then graduation presents, including Dad’s gift, which I was surprised had gotten there on time, a brand new sports car. All of the girls at the party clamored around the new car and begged to be the first one to ride with him but he only laughed and shook his head.

Sorry, family first, Austin announced clearly and Jason grabbed my arm, pulling me to the car before he jumped in the backseat and Austin waited for me to get into the front seat and close the door before he took off. Guess I’ll pass my old car down to you, Jason. Now, Anna, what happened in the kitchen earlier?

It really was nothing but you two making me paranoid, I rebutted calmly, Are you enjoying your party, Austin?

I’d enjoy it more if you’d say you’ll move over to Dad’s, Austin explained, glancing at me when he pulled up to a red light.

I’m still thinking about it, I answered with a shrug, pointing to the green light as Austin took off and headed back towards the house.

Jay, talk some sense into her, Austin pleaded and Jason laughed and shrugged.

I can’t make her. And I don’t entirely see the big deal… I mean… sure it’d be nice for us to stay together, but we can’t always stay together… Jason contributed, Besides, as far as siblings go, we are anything but normal… My friends think it’s crazy that we get along so well. They also think you’re more over-protective than any older brother they’ve ever known.

Yeah… well… I know things that you two don’t… and it affects the way I handle situations… Austin uttered, sighing, But, hey, let’s get back inside so I can finish opening presents.

The party lasted for hours, nobody really wanted to leave; that was just how parties at my house were and it was mainly due to my brothers and how all of the girls enjoyed at least looking at them. Saying I was relieved when I finally crashed into my bed, would be an understatement.

The next days were a blur. School ended for the year, Jason’s school had a small eighth grade graduation ceremony, and then there was the humongous high school graduation, which we all diligently attended to hear Austin’s Valedictorian speech; my big brother, the perfect boy, the genius…. Dad showed up, I was proud of him, and he didn’t miss the opportunity to ask how things were going and if I had made up my mind yet, he seemed more tired than usual though, but all he would say was he was working a big case.

I’m not pushing you, he added with a soft smile, I know I’m not the best dad, but I love you kids… and I’d love to have you stay with me. So, take your time, and just let me know whatever you decide. I hugged him. He wasn’t the best dad, but he never made excuses for himself, he was who he was and I loved him all the same.

I just need a little longer to think about it, I told him, I promise to let you know soon, though.

We went out for dinner after graduation was over. Mom was flirting with her boyfriend shamelessly. Dad had slipped cards to both Jason and Austin before rushing back to work. I didn’t realize until we got back home and I was putting away my things that Dad had also slipped $50 in my purse and I laughed.

It was a Saturday: Austin was at work, Jason was in his room playing video games with his headphones on, and Mom was at her boutique. Being a Saturday, I was happily sleeping in. Maybe things would have been better if I wasn’t such a light sleeper, but I was, and when I heard my door click closed, my eyes sped open and I was sitting up in my bed immediately.

Keep quiet, Mark ordered and I froze, wide-eyed before I screamed. Shut up! he hissed and his large, coarse hand came down across my cheek, silencing me instantly. Just shut up, he growled gutturally, tearing his tie off and shoving it in my mouth.

His mouth, that disgusting mouth, was everywhere I didn’t want it to be and he ripped off my nightgown. I fought, struggled, kicked, attempted screams that were muffled by the reeking tie in my mouth, but he kept my hands pinned over my head and leaned next to my ear.

If you don’t behave, I’ll break that little brother of yours. He’s so fragile, he hissed in my ear and I froze again, but tried desperately to keep my knees locked together.

A moment later, the pain that seared through me blinded me, literally. He wasn’t careful, wasn’t nice about it and I blacked out for a terrifying moment, tears streaming from my eyes. The pain subsided a little, but my room remained blurred through my tears and I struggled to think of anything else.

When he was satisfied, he got up, zipped his pants and leaned next to my ear again while pulling his tie out of my mouth.

You tell a soul, and it’s your brother that suffers, he growled fiercely, unlocking the door and leaving.

I stared at the ceiling through my tears, and tried not to think of the pain, but the pain was still there and it was practically all I could notice.

Oh God… I uttered through my tears which were shuddering my whole body, Oh God, oh God…. I forced myself up, through the shooting pain, and locked the door before I sank to my knees in front of it. I glanced only once at my bed, there was blood and… I shuddered and looked away.

It was around the time my shaking wasn’t so incapacitating that I heard Mom get home and Mark (I nearly threw up) cheerfully greeting her with a homemade meal.

With a quick peek out into the hallway, I locked my bedroom door behind me (thank goodness Mom had put in key-locks on all the doors inside the house) and darted into the bathroom, flipping the lock there and turning the shower on. I threw up then, everything in my stomach until I was dry heaving. When I could steady myself again, I climbed into the scalding hot shower; I hadn’t even bothered to turn on the cold water, and it stung like thousands of tiny needles. But the stinging of the hot water finally distracted me from other pains and I scrubbed myself with the soap and a loofah.

I scrubbed until the hot water ran out and finally got out of the shower, wrapping up tightly in my towel and pulling my key into my hand, ready to bolt for my door. I didn’t think the disgusting feeling would ever go away… and I was afraid to look in the mirror, my cheek was throbbing from where he’d slapped me. I listened at the door, breathless, for a long moment, and when I could hear Mom downstairs with him, and nothing else, I darted across the hall to my door.

As I was fumbling with the key, Jason stepped out of his bedroom and our eyes met. I froze in horror for one brief moment, but his was worse. His blue-green eyes were wide and his mouth fell open, his hand falling from his doorknob; he would have to be on the side to where he could easily see what I was sure was quickly becoming a bruise on my face. As the tears started anew, I got the key in the door and darted into my room, slamming the door and struggling to flip the lock, but Jason had the door open and was inside, locking it behind him a moment later.

Arianna! he blurted, hugging me tightly despite my desperate cries and trying to push him away as we sank to the floor, Anna, what the hell happened?

It’s nothing. Go away, I insisted through my tears, but he only held me tighter before pushing me an arm’s length away, his eyes scanning thoroughly over me.

What did you do? Try to burn your skin off? he whispered, gently running his fingers over my hurt cheek, God, Anna… what the hell happened?

Please, Jason… go away, I whimpered, but I couldn’t stop crying and Jason pulled me back against him.

Shh… Stop crying and I’ll call Austin.

I darted back from him, wide-eyed and shook my head furiously.

No! You can’t tell anyone anything! Nothing happened, Jason, do you understand me?

"No, because I don’t know what happened to begin with and we can’t not tell anyone," Jason insisted, but I shook my head and stood up, trying to push him towards the door. That was the worst idea I’d had, because his eyes shifted around the room and I could see it register in his mind when he spotted my bed.

Jason, get out, I ordered, pushing again on his shoulder.

I’m calling Austin, he repeated, but he froze when he spotted my blanched face.

You can’t, Jason, you can’t! Look, I’m going to keep my door locked, and… and… move to Dad’s… and it won’t be a problem ever again… and… I trailed off into tears and he jumped to his feet, hugging me again.

All right… he agreed almost silently, All right… I won’t… I won’t tell… get dressed… I’ll get you some more sheets… or… you can sleep in my room, if you want….

I’ll have to replace the sheets anyway… I whispered and he smiled faintly, heading over to my door.

Lock this, don’t let anyone but me in, he ordered sweetly and I nodded, locking the door behind him.

Oh God… my eyes widened with a sudden realization as I stared at the white wood of my door, Oh God… he didn’t use a condom… and I’m… I’m not on any kind of birth control…. There’s that… that morning after pill… I’ve heard people talking about them… but… you have to be seventeen to get it without a prescription… and… I’m not…. I forced myself to get dressed, jeans and a plain t-shirt, thinking about what in the world I was going to do, was there anyone who would help….

Bri, it occurred to me in a flash and I ran back in my room from my closet and grabbed my cell phone and dialed one of my best friend’s numbers. Hey Brianna, I greeted, apparently my voice was still off, I wondered how long that would last, would I ever feel at all safe anymore.

What’s wrong, Anna? Brianna questioned instantly.

Bri, I need a favor, no questions asked… please? I whispered.

Anything, Arianna, she swore, and I noticed the background noise disappeared.

I need one of those… morning after pills… my voice was even quieter and I wasn’t even sure how she heard me.

Anna, what…

No questions, I repeated and she sighed.

I’ll be by in just a little while, she promised, I’m not asking, Anna… but you can talk to me….

I know, I agreed and smiled faintly, Thanks, Bri.

We hung up and I started ripping the sheets from my bed, trying not to look at them, when I’d gotten them piled onto the floor, there was a knock at my door.

It’s Jason. I opened the door and he came in with a bundle of fresh sheets, and bless him, a large trash bag, and locked the door behind him. He set the folded sheets on the bare bed and opened the trash bag, shaking his head when I tried to help. He was silent as he piled the old sheets into the trash bag and tied it off before helping me make the bed with the new sheets. Once it was a spotless, clean bed again, he grabbed me into yet another hug.

Jason, I’m… I was going to say okay, but I wasn’t, I felt nauseous, I’ll be okay….

"Your face… it’s pretty