Refiner's Fire (Beauty for Ashes: Book Three)

BOOK THREE

Refiner’s Fire

A Novel

By

Dayo Benson

Refiner’s Fire: Beauty for Ashes Book Three

© Copyright 2011 by Dayo Benson

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without written permission from the author. The only exception is brief quotations in a book review.

Some scripture is taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

Cover design by Ade Benson

Visit the author’s website at www.dayobenson.com

Special Thanks

To my Jesus: Thank You for Your love. I don’t know where I’d be without You. Your love is amazing.

To my gorgeous husband: Man do I love me some Ade Benson! Thanks for who you are and for all you do. Thanks so much for always being there for me. I love you.

To my beautiful daughter, Rhema Benson: You are a delight. I love you so much, my sweetie.

To my lovely parents: Love you guys. You’re the best and the ‘awesomest’! You have no idea how much you are appreciated.

To my brothers, Sam and Abel: Here’s another book for you to buy. Thanks for your support. Love you lots.

To my editor, Gail Lennon: Thanks very much for your hard work editing this. You are a gem!

To a special group of people, Jessica, Patience, Abi, Sarah, Tumi, and Dammy: Some of you I know, and some of you I’ve never met. But, you are all so very much appreciated. Thanks for your support with this series, for writing reviews, and for giving me your feedback. God bless.

"He came to give beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning,

the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness"

(Isaiah 61:3).

This book is dedicated to all who will read it.

May God give you beauty for your ashes!

Chapter 1

It was Valentine’s Day, and you know what that means. Everywhere I looked, girls were holding beautiful bouquets. Guys were shifting nervously as they waited for their special woman, and couples were strolling, hand in hand.

Love is in the air, I sang as I followed officials through the airport. I’d just landed in LAX after two weeks in New York for Fashion Week. I had survived thirty runway shows in ten days. If I could do that, I could do anything. Right now, I felt like superwoman. But even superwoman needed a break sometimes. It wasn’t going to happen any time soon, though. I was off to Paris Fashion Week in three days.

Mandy, my publicist, grimaced. Don’t give up the day job.

Excuse me? Okay, I wasn’t a great singer, but I wasn’t terrible.

Ben, my bodyguard, who always looked mean and hardly ever smiled (I guess that was part of the job description), gave me a little grin. Any plans for tonight?

Nope, my boyfriend is on vacation.

Dan had come to New York to see me before he left last week. He’d survived his S.O.T. meeting and renounced all his links to the occult. Now, he was vacationing in Australia to clear his head.

I pulled my hat way down until it almost covered my eyes. We were about to go outside now. Is my car here?

Yes, Mandy replied. I got a text while we were checking out.

I spied my nana and Crystal when we got outside. Crystal was holding a huge bouquet. I squealed and ran over. Is that for me?

Crystal giggled as I swept her up into my arms. Yes! Happy Valentine’s Day, Mommy.

I hoisted her onto my hip and hugged my nana. I hope you two have been okay?

We’ve been great. How was New York? Nana asked.

Busy. I turned to Mandy. See you Monday.

She ruffled Crystal’s hair. Yeah, get some sleep, Lexi.

I will. I smiled at the airport officials who’d ushered us out. Thanks, guys.

Ben lifted my bag into the trunk. I got into the car and shuffled across the seat. Crystal and my nana piled in and the driver took us home. Crystal chatted all the way about the big box of candy she’d bought me, and about how Nana had been telling her she wasn’t allowed to eat any of it since ‘it’s for Mommy.’

Is this box of candy supposed to be a surprise? I asked.

Crystal nodded. It’s a surprise for you. Nana said, ‘Don’t tell Mommy’. She stopped abruptly and turned huge apologetic eyes to my Nana.

My Nana shook her head fondly. Crystal called her Nana, although she was actually her great grandmother. She called my Mom Nana Rachel, and Carl’s Mom Nana Linda.

Don’t worry Crystal, I said. I’m jet-lagged, so I’ll probably forget all about the candy by the time we get home. It’ll still come as a surprise.

Crystal grinned and started chatting again. I couldn’t believe how fast she was growing. It was pretty scary.

When we got home, Monica, my best friend since high school, was waiting outside. The driver stopped by the curb and let us out. Crystal ran over to Monica, who gave her the obligatory candy bar. I’d have to put an end to that or Crystal wasn’t going to have any teeth left by the time she hit her teens.

How was Fashion Week? Monica asked.

It was okay. Why didn’t you wait inside?

Monica’s face screwed up in a pretty pout. Your evil doorman. He’s so mean. He knows I’m your friend, but you’d think I was a thief the way he treated me just now.

The man’s just doing his job. You needed someone like that in case the paparazzi tailed you.

I lifted my bag out of my trunk and we all entered my building and trooped into the elevator.

Seen Jace recently? Monica asked.

I lived in the same building as Jace Washington, which meant that, on Wednesdays, I got the privilege of seeing him come home from the gym in a scanty tank top. (Well, I had the last two Wednesdays before I left for New York!) Just great! Like I needed any fuel for the pathetic crush I had on him. Not that I’d ever admit to having a crush on him. By the way, how was he going to the gym already, so soon after I inadvertently ran him over and fractured his ankle? Besides, there was a gym in our building, so why was he going to a gym somewhere else?

Um, Lexi, Monica said, interrupting my thoughts. Have you seen Jace recently?

I felt my face warming. No, I’ve been away, as you know. Maybe you should ask my Nana.

Monica rolled her eyes and exchanged a look with my grandmother.

What? I asked.

Nothing. She looked at my Nana. Have you seen him?

No. We saw Dan a few times before he left for Australia, though. My Nana beamed. She really liked Dan. He kept coming to check on me and Crystal, and he kept asking if we needed anything. I didn’t think God still made men like him these days.

I hit the button for the twelfth floor and Monica pushed the button for the fifty-fifth floor penthouse where Jace lived. Going to see Jace? I asked.

Yeah.

I thought you were here to see me.

I am, but I’m thinking I better check on him because I haven’t seen him in a while. I wonder if he and Debbie eloped, after all.

The elevator doors jerked open at the twelfth floor and Crystal, my Nana, and I stepped out.

I pushed Jace out of my mind and focused my thoughts on Dan. With Jace, it was just physical attraction. He was hot and that’s all there was to it. Besides, he was engaged now. Possibly married. Dan Black, on the other hand, was hot, reliable, sweet, and cared about me.

We’ve set up your Valentine’s Day breakfast in the kitchen, my Nana said opening the door to my condo.

Crystal unzipped her jacket and my Nana helped her take it off. I left my luggage by the door to my room. Then I sauntered over to the kitchen and got the shock of my life when the kitchen door opened of its own accord and Dan Black appeared before me holding a bunch of red roses. Happy Valentine’s Day.

I clutched my chest. Dan!

He grinned, then looked at the flowers I was holding. "Hey! Who are they from?"

Crystal, I replied. What are you doing here?

You didn’t think I’d let you spend Valentine’s Day alone, did you?

I thought you were in Australia.

I came back to take you out.

He’d made that long journey just to take me out! Really?

Yeah, I need to tell you something, but I’ll tell you over dinner tonight. I’ll pick you up at five.

I was still trying to process this. When did you get back?

This morning. Dan’s eyes narrowed. Anyone would think you weren’t happy to see me.

I took the roses from him and put both my bouquets on the kitchen island then hugged him. Are you kidding? I am very happy to see you. I’m just surprised.

Dan wrapped his arms around me. I’ll be back at five. Okay?

I pouted. Are you leaving already?

Yeah. I’d stay, but my dad needs me to fill in for him at a meeting. I made the mistake of telling him I’m back.

Dan’s dad owned the Diamond Parlor, a billion-dollar jewelry business that I had a modeling contract with. I guess you’d better go then.

Yeah. By the way, my Mom turns fifty tomorrow and you’re my date for her party. If you’ve gotten over your commitment issues, that is.

I scowled. We had a bit of an argument about my ‘commitment issues’ over Christmas. Dan had invited me to have dinner with his family on Boxing Day and I’d turned him down. I’d just thought it was too soon for me to be meeting his parents. I did not have commitment issues! Yeah, I agreed. I’ll come.

Dan released me from his grip. Thanks for saying yes, Lexi.

I walked him to the elevator. See you at five. Don’t you dare be late.

Believe me, I won’t, he promised.

I went back to my condo and entered the den. My Nana grinned at me. Isn’t he so sweet? He showed up just as Crystal and I were coming to pick you up.

What are you doing tonight? I asked her. He wants to take me out at five.

That’s fine. I’ll stay with Crystal.

Thanks, Nana.

Crystal came and grabbed my hand. Your candy is in the kitchen.

I let her lead me to the kitchen. She picked up the box of candy. Do you want to open it? she asked, hopefully.

Maybe after I’ve had my breakfast.

Her face fell. I could tell she was hoping I’d share it with her. I removed the card from Dan’s bouquet. He’d written a lot so I stuffed it into my pocket. I liked to read love notes alone, no spectators. I went to my room and opened the card.

I heard the door buzzer, then Monica’s voice floated into my room from the hallway. A few seconds later, she knocked on my door and then burst in without waiting for a reply.

Wasn’t he in? I asked.

He was in all right, Monica said, her eyes flashing.

I stuffed my note from Dan back into my pocket. Is he married now? Was Debbie there?

No to both questions. Monica bounced onto my bed. And you know what’s worrying me? Jace tells me everything. All I have to do is ask and he’ll tell me. But he won’t tell me anything about him and Debbie.

Well, maybe it’s really love.

Monica snorted.

Anyway, Dan’s back. We’re going out tonight.

He came back early?

Yeah. He was hiding in my kitchen when I got home just now, and nearly scared the life out of me.

Monica lifted an eyebrow.

What? I asked.

She shook her head. I shouldn’t say anything.

Dan told Monica that he was going to propose to me last December. Monica had even seen the ring he’d bought me. But things hadn’t gone as planned that night. It was just as well because he’d planned to do it publicly and I would have been mortified. You think he’s going to propose, don’t you?

She shrugged. What would you say if he did?

A big fat yes!

Monica giggled. This from the girl who freaked out about meeting his parents less than two months ago.

I’m still scared of meeting them. I want him, not his parents.

After all the work you’ve done, promoting the Diamond Parlor, they’d be crazy not to love you.

Anyway, tell me about my ring.

Monica looked guilty. I shouldn’t have told you, Lexi.

Well you already have. How many carats is it?

I don’t know, but it’s huge. And that’s all I’m saying about it.

Is it a platinum band? I love platinum.

Monica waved a dismissive hand. I came to tell you something.

I decided to let her off the hook. Shoot.

Monica looked at her engagement ring and her face went sad. Trey is leaving on Monday.

Does he really have to leave?

She nodded. His contract at work has run out.

So what are you going to do?

There’s another job at the same place that he’s going to apply for, but it hasn’t even been advertised yet, so he has to leave because of his Visa.

I wondered what would happen if he didn’t get the job. I knew Monica loved Trey. But, would she move to Cuba?

She seemed to read my mind. I’ve been praying, Lexi. Trey has to come back and quick too, or I might have to move.

Would you move?

Yes, she replied simply.

I reached for her hands and squeezed them. You and Trey are so lucky to have each other.

Monica’s eyes brimmed. What am I going to do while he’s away?

Don’t worry about it. You guys will be fine.

But what if he sees a hot Cuban girl while he’s back home and he breaks up with me?

Yeah, like Trey has eyes for any other girl.

You never know. You’re Cuban, aren’t you? The thought of him going to a place where all the girls look like you is pretty discouraging.

Well, Trey doesn’t like me so you should hope that all the girls there look like me, I said, laughing.

Monica didn’t find it funny.

Want me to come to the airport with you? I offered.

Will you? That’d be great.

I fly to Paris on Monday, so I might as well.

Monica pulled her hands from mine and wiped her eyes. I can’t believe he’s going.

It looked like Monica was going to be here wailing for a while. I tuned out and thought about Dan.

Dan Black was probably what most girls pictured when they imagined a hot guy. It sounds like a cliché, but he was tall, dark and handsome. I remembered the day we’d met. It was my freshman year of college and Dan and I were both home one night while all our other roomies were out partying. Dan had cooked me stir fry rice and flirted shamelessly. But, I was dating Carl at the time so he didn’t get very far.

My dating history was rather pathetic. Jace was my first major crush. I dated him twice in high school for two weeks and then two days respectively. Each time he dumped me and broke my heart. I spent the rest of our high school days hating him.

After Jace I dated Carl, who was fun but didn’t really make my heart race the way Jace did. We broke up just before we left high school, but started dating again when we got to college.

At college, Dan Black came onto the scene and swept me off my feet. But, I dated him for only a week. I went back to Carl. Carl was more dependable (or so I thought).

My relationship with Carl was okay, until we got married. We thought we were in love, but it turned out to be a huge mistake. Our marriage was crazy, and that’s putting it lightly. The only good thing that came out of it was Crystal. In the end, we got divorced. A few months later, I went back to Dan, who I should never have left in the first place.

Then just last month, Carl died. Crystal had asked about him occasionally since then. After evading the question a few times I decided to just come clean with her. He was dead, and that’s all there was to it. No point saying he was living on a rainbow at the end of the universe. Even kids know a lie when they hear one.

Anyway, my relationship with Carl kind of put me off guys for a while. Once I divorced him, I thought I was going to stay single for a while. But, how could I, when Dan Black wanted to ‘take our friendship further’ as he put it.

In hindsight, I realize that Dan was the man for me all along. In fact, I take the fact that we both got saved the same day (last Christmas Eve to be precise) as a sign from God that we were meant to be together.

The sooner Dan popped the question, the better!

***

I was stuffed, which wasn’t good as I was expected to be size zero to two for Paris Fashion Week. But I just couldn’t control myself around good food. And who could blame me? Maple glazed salmon cakes, fillet of beef with fried shallots, sweet potato mash? Come on now! Nobody could withstand that!

Want a refill? Dan asked, signaling a waiter who, the way he’d been hovering, looked like he was assigned to us and us alone. The treatment I got at restaurants these days made me laugh. The managers always met me at the door to welcome me, and I got bouquets of roses delivered to my table, complimentary champagne, and gifts.

Sure. I was drinking water. Monica had told me to lay off the alcohol once I got saved, so I was doing my best. Alcohol didn’t help my diet, anyway.

A waiter brought a fresh jug of water over. I looked around. When were they bringing the dessert?

Dan kicked me under the table. Relax. What’s up?

Nothing.

Dan still hadn’t told me what he wanted to tell me. Whether it was that he wanted me to marry him, or something else, he needed to just get on with it. My curiosity had reached breaking point. From experience I knew that he wouldn’t say whatever it was until we were on our desserts. I wonder why they’re taking so long with my dessert.

Maybe they’re giving us extra time to stare into each other’s eyes. Dan smiled. Your dress is really nice.

Thanks. He’d already said that when he came to pick me up. I agreed actually, considering that it was a beautiful black Prada masterpiece. Prada had been my favorite designer ever since they more or less launched my career for me.

I didn’t hear much else of what Dan said in the few minutes before the hovering waiter finally brought my dessert.

I was having the Valentine’s Day special: strawberries and cream. Dan had passed on dessert and ordered coffee.

Anyway, Lexi, he said after I’d popped the first cream-covered strawberry into my mouth. I hid a grin, I could so read him. I came home for a reason today, and I’m not quite sure how you’re going to take this.

I put my fork down. My heart was pounding a little now. Although, if I could have chosen where he would propose to me, it wouldn’t have been over dinner in a public restaurant, no matter how top notch that restaurant was. I would have preferred somewhere private—just the two of us. Nevertheless, I smiled encouragingly. What is it?

Dan took a deep breath. Actually, I’ll tell you when we get out of here.

Wow! It was like he just read my mind. Okay.

A few minutes later we were out of the restaurant. Shall we go for a quick walk? Dan asked. I hope you’re not cold?

I was cold, but that was the whole point. He was supposed to wrap his arms around me or give me his jacket. No, I’m fine.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

Dan removed his jacket and draped it over my shoulders. I shoved my arms through the sleeves gratefully. Thanks.

Dan put an arm around my shoulders and steered me toward the restaurant gardens.

We walked in silence and I imagined how nice the gardens would be in the summer. All the flower beds were empty, and bare tree branches swayed in the wind.

Lexi, Dan said.

I looked at him and he looked really nervous. Yes?

He took a deep breath and I felt like time had come to a standstill. I was going to remember this moment forever: the moment that Dan asked me to be his wife.

We’d have to have a long engagement though, because I didn’t want us to rush into marriage. Marriage was hard work.

Dan stepped forward and took my hands. I looked up into his beautiful dark eyes. The wind ruffled his dark hair gently as he gave me a wistful smile. I’m leaving, he whispered.

I blinked. Huh?

I’m leaving LA.

I felt like I’d been punched in the gut. You’re leaving LA? I repeated.

Dan nodded and squeezed my hands. I have to get away. Two weeks in Australia and I knew I wanted to stay. I couldn’t tell you this on the phone, so I came to tell you, and my Mom and Dad, in person.

I was speechless. Okay. So, he wasn’t proposing. He was leaving. When you say you’re leaving LA, do you mean forever?

Dan shrugged. I don’t know.

Suddenly I understood why Monica had been crying and wailing this afternoon about Trey leaving. It was horrible. I closed my eyes. I wasn’t going to cry. No way. I wasn’t!

I felt Dan’s solid arms wrap around me and I opened my eyes and pushed him away. So, are you breaking up with me?

No, I might be back soon.

"You might be back soon."

Yeah. Who knows? I might get back there next week and decide that actually I want to come back home.

This was what happened when you were too rich for your own good. People probably had the urge to get up and move to another part of the world all the time. But, they soon came to their senses when they considered how much that was going to cost. Money was no good for common sense.

What does this mean for us, Dan? Are you saying I should wait for you?

I’d love you to come with me, but I know you can’t because of your job.

Yeah, duh! And Crystal, too. Remember? I thought in annoyance.

I’m going to really miss you, Lexi. Dan pulled me into his arms. Will you wait for me?

Well, I need to know how long. ‘Maybe’ was not particularly specific. Neither was it very encouraging.

Dan raked a hand through his dark hair. I wanted to shake him and tell him that this was a huge mistake. I needed him here, in LA.

What about college? I asked when he didn’t say anything. You’re in your final semester. Can’t Australia wait until after you graduate?

I’m coming back in May to do my finals. Who knows, I might be coming back for good in May.

How are you going to pass? I asked, incredulous that he would be throwing away three years of work.

I’ll keep up with the handouts and stuff online.

I exhaled. My heart was getting heavy now. What are you going to be doing out there, anyway?

Missionary work. Dan’s eyes lit up. I’ve been working with prisoners and ex-convicts, and it’s been great. You would love it, Lexi. Maybe you should come visit me out there. I guarantee you’ll want to stay once you get there.

I didn’t think so.

I’m going to start helping out at an orphanage, and I’m in the process of seeing what I can do to help with poverty in Papua New Guinea, which is just near Australia. It’s really great, Lexi. For once I’m happy, and I don’t have to think about selling diamonds, or the S.O.T.

Good for you, I replied, trying to sound enthused for Dan’s sake.

Dan sighed. I just need to get away. I thought you’d understand.

I do understand. It’s just hard.

It’s hard for me too. I’m going to miss you a lot, Lexi. I wish you’d come, but I know that’d be asking a lot.

I pulled Dan’s jacket tighter around me. May wasn’t too far off. Hopefully by then, he’d have this—whatever it was—out of his system! I took out my cell phone and started dialing a cab.

What are you doing? Dan asked.

Yes, can I have a cab, please? I’m at Conder’s Restaurant. I removed Dan’s jacket when I hung up and thrust it into his arms.

What are you doing? Dan repeated, following me as I walked back toward the restaurant parking lot.

I’m going home.

Well, why did you call a cab? I’ll take you.

No, I need to be alone right now.

Lexi, I’m really sorry about this, Dan pleaded.

I stopped, feeling a little guilty now. Dan obviously had a lot on his mind and needed time to regain some clarity regarding his life after leaving the S.O.T. Dan, it’s okay. You go to Australia and Guinea—

Papua New Guinea, he corrected.

Yeah. You go there and feed the people and everything. I’m really happy for you and I wish you all the best. I squeezed his arm. You’re an incredible guy and it’s hard to let you go, but—

Hey, Dan interrupted. I ain’t saying let me go. I’m just saying give me some time.

Okay, that’s fine. It really is. When do you leave?

Monday morning.

I’ll try and see you before I leave for Paris.

You’re still coming to my Mom’s party tomorrow. Right?

I shook my head and Dan’s face fell. I’m sorry, Dan.

Dan and I walked back to the parking lot and waited in silence for my cab. I slid into the back seat gratefully when it arrived. I needed to get away from him and think. I wasn’t quite sure how to process his moving to Australia. What did it really mean for our relationship?

Missionary work was all well and good, but couldn’t he feed the poor after he finished his degree, and after we were certain about where our relationship was going? Maybe I’d consider relocating if I had a ring on my finger. I wasn’t sure, though.

The cab stopped outside my building and I decided to go for a walk. If I went in now my Nana would know something was wrong and I didn’t want that. I headed toward Zuma Beach. Monica texted me while I was sitting in the wet sand, in my Prada dress: ‘So?’

This was all Monica’s fault actually, getting my hopes up for no reason. I replied: ‘Nothing to report. Will fill u in later.’

I took my iPod out of my purse and stuck the ear buds in my ears. Dan started texting me, but I didn’t reply. By the time I started walking back home, I had fourteen messages from him, all saying he didn’t mean to upset me, he loved me, he knew we could get through this, etc. I switched my phone off.

I walked home slowly, barely noticing the beautiful scenery around me that I usually loved. I felt so alone. Was there a man out there for me at all? If so, was it Dan? God, do You think I should wait for him?

As I neared my building, Jace and his gorgeous fiancée, Debbie Morris, emerged through the double glass doors. I hid behind a tree, waiting for them to leave. I didn’t need anyone seeing me in this state, sand all over my dress, looking a mess.

I watched as Debbie gave something to Jace. He looked at it, and nodded while she talked. At least life was good for some! I wished I could hear what they were saying, but I wasn’t close enough.

A cab pulled up and Jace opened the door for Debbie to get in. I wondered why he wasn’t taking her home himself. Jace watched the cab disappear around the corner at the top of the street then looked at whatever it was that Debbie had given him. Then, to my utter shock, he threw it!

I gasped as it hit the ground a few feet from me then bounced over