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    The Sucky Life Of Thomas Crow
    The Sucky Life Of Thomas Crow
    The Sucky Life Of Thomas Crow
    Ebook74 pages51 minutes

    The Sucky Life Of Thomas Crow

    By Phillip Stanley II

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    Mild-mannered, meek and middle-aged; Thomas Crow has always lived a life considered well-below the margins of success. Outshined by his peers at work, disrespected and emasculated by his wife and daughter at home, Thomas lives the summation of every fear of the modern, domesticated family-man. That is, until Thomas meets a mysterious and alluring goth-girl, who in her own way, shows Thomas just how special he really is on this, the worst day of his entire sucky life! Riddled with dark humor and sexy horror, The Sucky Life of Thomas Crow is a glimpse into another man’s life that will make you ever-grateful for you own!
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherTorrid Books
    Release dateOct 1, 2013
    ISBN9781611607086
    The Sucky Life Of Thomas Crow

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      Book preview

      The Sucky Life Of Thomas Crow - Phillip Stanley II

      THE SUCKY LIFE OF THOMAS CROW

      by

      Phillip Stanley II

      TORRID BOOKS

      www.torridbooks.com

      Published by

      TORRID BOOKS

      www.torridbooks.com

      An Imprint of Whiskey Creek Press LLC

      Whiskey Creek Press

      PO Box 51052

      Casper, WY 82605-1052

      Copyright Ó 2013 by Phillip Stanley II

      Warning: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 (five) years in federal prison and a fine of $250,000.

      Names, characters and incidents depicted in this book are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental and beyond the intent of the author or the publisher.

      No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

      ISBN 978-1-61160-708-6

      Credits

      Cover Artist: Gemini Judson

      Editor: Jeremy Tyler

      Printed in the United States of America

      Dedication

      For my brother Christopher—a dark gift.

      TABLE OF CONTENTS

      Prologue: The Black Van

      Chapter One: The Ultra-Fantastic Jet Slater

      Chapter Two: Failure At The Water Cooler

      Chapter Three: Phuk-Yu’s Doesn’t Deliver

      Chapter Four: Hooker Row

      Chapter Five: Screwed-Over—Hard!

      Chapter Six: She’s Japanese-American You Idiot!

      Chapter Seven: Hooker Row Revisited

      Chapter Eight: Home Sweet Hell

      Chapter Nine: The Lair of Maud

      Chapter Ten: Diet Soda and Ice Cream

      Chapter Eleven: Are You Just Stalking Me?

      Chapter Twelve: Dulcie Maze

      Chapter Thirteen: AB Negative

      Epilogue: Jet Slater’s Bad Day

      Prologue

      The Black Van

      In a dark parking lot sat a black van. Although the parking lot had been empty for hours, the driver took great care as to park his vehicle well beyond the radiance of the nearby streetlights. The vans windows were fogged, completely obscured by the steamy breath of the occupants within.

      Thomas Crow, a white and thin, balding man of middle age, relaxed in the back seat as a beautiful girl moved to her knees and went down on him. His avaricious smile widened as her soft lips parted and engulfed his manhood in a sensation of pure delight.

      Oh my God! Thomas groaned.

      The girl didn’t respond; she simply continued with her work—it was work after all. You see, for the very first time in his life Thomas Crow did something wild, crazy, and completely out of character—he picked up a prostitute, a fifty-dollar prostitute.

      Thomas shut his eyes and ran his hand through the girl’s red hair, not a natural red, but the kind of bright-red one would see on a child’s fashion doll—definitely  a dye job. Thomas loved her hair, though. That, along with her pale skin, gave the girl a goth-like allure that appealed to him.

      Thomas’s body suddenly jolted as he felt a slight pinch on his male part.

      Sorry, babe—just a little love bite. The girl spoke through a mouthful—well, half a mouthful anyway.

      As the girl continued to pleasure him with a talented and writhing tongue, Thomas’s thoughts drifted to the series of events that led up to this wondrously erotic moment—the most erotic moment of his entire sucky life.

      Chapter 1

      The Ultra-Fantastic Jet Slater

      At seven in the morning, Thomas’s Crow’s blood-shot eyes snapped open—he was still in bed. It wasn’t an alarm clock that had awoken Thomas; instead he’d been wrenched from sleep by the trumpeting noise of a great fart, a fart that bellowed from the great big ass of his great big six-hundred and seventy-pound wife. Long-winded and noisome, it was the kind of fart that only a dinner of cheesy bean soup and no less than five egg salad sandwiches could induce.

      As he lay quietly upon the small portion of the king-sized bed allotted to him, Thomas could not discern which was worse; the befouled fart-laced air, or the rancid odor of his wife’s long unbathed body.

      With his flared nostrils offended, Thomas winced in disgust and quietly slipped out of bed. He gathered his clothing and tip-toed to the bathroom, ever careful, so as not to awaken the slumbering behemoth whose bulk even

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