Nocturnal Vows

Nocturnal Vows

M Calhoun

A Black Bed Sheet/Diverse Media Book

June 2016

Nocturnal Vows

Copyright © 2016 by M Calhoun

All rights reserved.

Cover and art design by Nicholas Grabowsky and

Copyright © 2016 Black Bed Sheet Books.

The selections in this book are works of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the author.

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016945194

ISBN-10: 0-69273540-2

ISBN-13: 978-0-6927354-0-4

Nocturnal Vows

A Black Bed Sheet/Diverse Media Book

Antelope, CA

Dedication

I dedicate this book to my husband, Alan

who has always had faith in my writing.

To my children and grandchildren,

I love you all.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I must first give thanks to my Lord Jesus Christ for giving me the inspiration to write.

My family deserves much gratitude for all their patience, encouragement, and love towards me while I obsess over my ideas and create my characters and their worlds, which always demand my attention and time.

My publisher, Nicholas Grabowsky of Black Bed Sheet Books, has been awesome!

He is not only the man who brought my work to the world, but also he is my editor, and

my cover designer. Thank you so much for opening this door for me.

Nocturnal Vows

M Calhoun

Prologue

Changes and new beginnings always scared Annette. After losing her parents in a car accident when she was very young, she was raised by a distant relative who was unable to have her own children. Annette didn’t remember mourning much. Claudine, her benefactor, had reacted to their passing as just another fact of life and frowned at excessive bemoaning. Life was for the living, not to be wasted on self-pity and mourning for the dead.

Though she was taken care of decently, given all that a child needs, her legal guardians didn’t really bond with her. This suited her fine. She liked to daydream about having her own family, a husband and a child who’d never have faced life without parents. Miss Claudine never understood why Annette always preferred pretending rather than playing with other neighborhood kids her age. As far as Claudine Brown was concerned, Annette Johnson was a strange child.

When she became old enough to live on her own, Miss Claudine packed up and moved down south. She didn’t leave a forwarding address or say she’d stay in touch. Her burdens were finally lifted and she wasted no time in getting on with her own life. Annette had to learn how to take care of herself by herself. She didn’t do too badly, considering her background. She at least had finished school. So when she’d applied to work at a local daycare she was happy to get the job. She made just enough money to rent a tiny efficiency apartment, with a little left over for food.

She met Jake Hawthorn quite by accident. She was biking home after work, and a blue sedan nearly sideswiped her while crossing the road, causing her to crash into the ditch. The driver stopped and got out to see if she was hurt. He helped her up and picked up her bike. She insisted she was fine, feeling guilty for having been in his way, but when she looked into his blue eyes she saw nothing but a gentle kindness. He was immediately struck with how beautiful she was. His intense gaze made her cheeks hot. She looked away, her eyes darting about and looking for something to focus her attentions on.

He realized he was making her uncomfortable and said, I’m real sorry; I should’ve been more careful. Uh, my name is Jake, Jake Hawthorn, and you are?

Annette Johnson, she answered shyly.

Well, Miss Annette Johnson, I’d like if you’d let me buy you dinner, he offered, as a way of apology for my recklessness. She smiled so prettily, her eyes big and full of wonder. "Please, Annette, taking you out to eat is the least I could do after almost hitting you. Pretty please?" He was so handsome with his wavy brown hair, sparkling eyes and muscular build.

She giggled and rolled her eyes while shuffling her feet. Ok, but uh, you wouldn’t be ashamed? Annette hadn’t experienced prejudicial treatment first-hand, but she’d heard Claudine speak of awful things happening to her in the past just because she was black.

Of what? he asked, knowing full well what she was referring to. You’re beautiful! From then on, that was exactly how he always made her feel, absolutely beautiful.

Over the next year they were practically inseparable, except for when they worked. But when Jake proposed, he’d told her he didn’t want her to have to work anymore. He promised he’d take care of her for the rest of their lives together. Naturally, she’d said yes. Jake was the first person who’d truly loved her since her parents died. There was no way she was going to let go of that. He had her heart completely from that very first day.

They were both eighteen when they married. Now, a full year into wedded bliss, Jake was getting ready to be deployed by the army. He’d signed up not because he needed to financially; there was still enough of his savings to keep them comfortable, even after buying their first house, paid in full. That was the benefits of coming from a wealthy family. Instead, he joined just to fulfill his patriotic duty.

With only a week to go before he left, she insisted on going on a picnic. He didn’t object; he’d do anything just to make Annette happy. She’d cut up a whole chicken and fried it up in flour mixed with seasonings, made some potato salad, then put it all into a medium sized wicker basket with some chips and some flavored waters. She wanted everything to be perfect.

Jake had come up and kissed her cheek, Wow! That smells fantastic! You’re really going all out, Annie. I almost think you’re gonna miss me.

You know I will, Jakie, she said, turning to hold him.

He inhaled her scent and kissed her cheek, then her ear, whispering, I’m gonna miss you too, baby. You know, we can skip the picnic and have our desert before we eat… he teased.

She giggled, then pulled back to look at him. No, we’re going on that picnic, Jake. You promised, besides, I have something important I want to talk to you about.

What’s going on? Tell me, he said half-way playfully, half-way serious.

Annette smiled coyly and replied, Not until we’re at the lake and our bellies are stuffed! He pretended to pout and she asked him to grab the blanket off the back of the couch. He smiled back at her and turned to go into the living room.

They drove down Interstate 5 heading to Silver Lake, their usual picnic spot. They liked going there, not too many people, so they could enjoy their privacy. Annie had opened her window, put on the radio, and turned up the volume to ensure Jake didn’t ask any questions about her news. He parked and got out to get the basket from the backseat. She wrapped her sweater around her shoulders, grabbed the blanket and joined him.

When everything was set up nicely they sat and chowed down on Annie’s delicious meal, enjoying the warm breeze rippling the water. She loved being here with him. They talked easily about their dreams for the future, how long he was going to be gone, and what she envisioned herself doing while he was gone. He knew she was serious when she’d said she wanted to wait to reveal her big secret till they’d eaten. That’s just how she liked to do things. But after he finished a peanut butter cookie, his curiosity was too colossal to ignore anymore.

Ok, babe, I’ve waited patiently like a good boy, he said humorously. Now spill the beans or I’m gonna tickle it out of ya! He pounced and straddled her tickling her ribs mercilessly.

Annette was laughing hysterically. Ok, ok, MERCY! she yelled. He stopped tickling long enough to let her breathe, and then started again in smaller spurts. She giggled joyously and hollered out stop a few times.

"Tell me, then, tell me!" he taunted.

Between laughs she blurted out, I’M PREGNANT! Jake suddenly stopped, stunned by those two little words. He rolled off of her and helped her to sit up.

"Whoa! Did you just say what I think you just said?" Annie looked at him anxiously and nodded her head while biting her bottom lip.

Jake leaned in and put his hand on her stomach, one of the sweetest smiles lighting up his face, his blue eyes gleaming. We’re going to have a baby… he stated in awe. She smiled and ran her fingers through his hair. He was going to be the best daddy!

I just knew you’d be happy! Annette’s heart soared. All of her dreams she’d played out in her mind were coming true. Her sweet Jake had given her this.

Worry suddenly flooded his eyes. Wait, I need to pull out of the army!

No, Jakie, you can’t do that. You’re supposed to be leaving in what, a week? she asked.

Yeah, but how can I leave now? he answered with a question.

She took a sip of her water and looked at him earnestly, saying, Baby, you’ve wanted this for a long time now. I can’t take that away from you.

He looked conflicted and maybe a little hurt. How far along are you? he wanted to know.

They say four to six weeks. They’ll know my exact due date after I get the ultrasound and blood tests done two weeks from now, she told him.

So there’s a good possibility I’ll be home before the baby comes, right? he said hopefully. She told him to stop worrying, that everything was going to turn out just perfectly. They kissed tenderly, both grateful and content with life.

There was no way either of them could have known that soon their lives would be changed forever…..

Chapter One

How can life be torn and shredded in just one day, resulting from one wrong decision, one so insignificant that a person couldn’t possibly be aware of the dangers just waiting to pounce? Why are some people forced all-too-suddenly to wonder at such a horrific question…?

∞∞∞

Annette climbed into the truck clumsily and with great strain. Her overwhelmingly enlarged belly humped out was simply in the way of everything she tried to do. This baby had to come soon; she knew this and dreaded the thought. If only she could hold on just a little longer until Jake came home. Instead, she was to face the birth of their first child alone. Her parents had died long ago back in her teen years, and Jake’s never cared to meet his live-in girlfriend. She was black and they were not. This was enough to stir up all the old southern prejudices of their ancestry. Theirs was a long line of Hawthorns from the south. She was thankful that their son was different. She wanted him home now more than anything!

She drove to the one and only local market, Blue Bird’s, and fumbled her way out of the old Chevy. The baby had her craving something bad, and though she wasn’t sure what that was, she knew she didn’t have anything remotely appetizing at the house. Pregnancy was so strange! A tiny incomplete human was growing within her body, and had taken complete control of his environment. She didn’t have a say over what she ate, her sleeping patterns, and especially not what she was going to think or feel. This child even had control over how many times she’d have to run to the bathroom to pee and throw-up. Now she understood why her mother chose to have only one child. This was the strangest and most random behavior that she’d ever had.

The bells on the door jingled announcing her entrance. Well hello, Annie, the old woman from behind the counter called out. No little one yet?

She couldn’t help but smile. Nope, just a few minor contractions, answered Annette. The doc says there’s nothing to worry about yet. But I can tell you, this little one isn’t going to want to wait too much longer.

Aww, that must be so exciting for you and Jake. When is the army gonna let him get back home to you, dear? The look on Nancy’s face took on the semblance of genuine concern. She always was very motherly to Annette ever since they’d moved there four years ago. That was something she’d grown to cherish. There weren’t many at all who had that effect on her since her parents had passed on.

I don’t think Jake’s going to be able to make the birth. He’s on tour for another couple of months. Annette sighed. I’ll be fine. The nurses have taught me how to do the breathing, and they’ve all been really nice at the hospital. And when Jake does come home, he’ll have both me and the baby ready to welcome him home. Just the thought of his homecoming made her smile.

Nancy’s expression eased. She reached out, touched Annie’s arm and said, Well, dear, I would be more than happy to be there for you when the time comes. I know when I had mine, I was most grateful to have someone there to help me through it all.

That’s so sweet of you, dear! I would love to have you there, Nancy! That would mean the world to me! She reached out and gave Nancy a warm hug.

Ok, let’s see if we can’t rustle up what you’re looking for now.

∞∞∞

Later that evening, an intense loneliness hit Annette. This wasn’t the first time she’d felt this. Sure she missed Jake and wanted him home, especially with the baby coming, but this great despairing desire for his presence scared her. Tears streamed down her tired face and she found herself sobbing uncontrollably, shaking from an eerie cold that didn’t want to let go.

Stop that, Annie, she said aloud. You’re making yourself get all riled up for nothin’. Getting up from her bed, she waddled over to the dresser mirror. Man, she looked a wreck! Her hair was all messy; her face looked worn, old from all the worry over what was happening wherever Jake was. Lord, if you’re still there, please bring my Jake home to me and the baby. This gave her an immediate comfort, a hope that she desperately needed. Clutching her chest as if she was holding that hope, she turned to go wash up in the bathroom.

∞∞∞

The next morning was bright, full of golden sunlight and the birds chirping outside seemed to want to celebrate that beauty. Annette lay in her bed for a while, just enjoying the crispness of the spring morning. If only Jake were there with her. She sighed and looked at the light trying to stream in through the closed curtains. A gorgeous day was waiting for her to rise, and there were things she wanted to get done today. There was still some work in the nursery to be done before the big day. She wanted things to be perfect when her little one came, as perfect as she could muster without the baby’s daddy there to enjoy the wondrous event.

She rolled onto her side and pushed herself up to sitting, then grabbed the bedpost to help her stand. She decided today was going to be a happy day no matter what. Life was about to change, and she wanted to greet that change with joy. After all, this was their first baby, and the little guy deserved to be born into a happy home. So what if he’d have to wait a little while to meet his daddy. When he grew older, they’d explain that Daddy had an important job to protect them and their country. Military families just had to get used to making sacrifices for the greater duty. Fueled by a renewed sense of pride and contentment, she readied herself to get to work.

Being busy helps one to get through hard times. Annette found this out early on in life, while trying to deal with the loss of her mom and dad. Now, her life was on the right track. Once Jake would get back, he’d be done with his service. They could finally get married! She couldn’t wait. Everything was falling right into place. She was so thankful she’d met Jake, and that their lives together made sense. They were moving forward in a positive direction, growing together. This was what she’d wanted her whole life.

While with child, one has to take some breaks from time to time. After just putting together the bassinet and putting some baby clothes away, Annette knew that she was due for a rest! While going down the stairs she heard the doorbell ring. Now, who could that be? she wondered aloud. She took her steps carefully, holding onto the banister to keep her balance. Again the doorbell rang. Hold on, now, she hollered. I’m on my way!

Finally getting to the door, she stopped to try and catch her breath. Boy….everything is so hard when you’re pregnant! Feeling more composed, she opened the door expecting to see Nancy with some of her famous homemade stew, or Max, the guy who lived down at the next house wanting to borrow some milk or something. Instead she saw two men dressed in uniform. Her heart immediately sunk making her dizzy. No! she whispered, nearly fainting backwards. Quickly one of the men stepped in and grabbed her arm and her back.

Ma’am, are you alright? His politeness made her shiver. She could not answer. She knew what their visit meant. She’d heard other army wives speak of these kinds of visits. There were always some stories to scare the new girl.

She looked up but couldn’t make out his face through the tears that had welled up in her eyes. Ma’am, are you Miss Annette Johnson? Her head nodded. Ma’am, may we come in, somewhere where you could have a seat, maybe have a glass of water? Slowly the two of them guided her into the house and she motioned towards the living room. The one who had caught her asked if he could get her that water. She pointed where the kitchen was, and said, Over there. She was surprised at how weak her voice sounded.

The other man helped her to sit down in a chair while they sat side by side on the couch. Miss Johnson, my name is Sergeant Conners. This is Sergeant Marks. Private Jake Bradley had you listed as his next-of-kin. I am sorry to inform you that Jake was in a helicopter accident. Sergeant Conners continued speaking, telling her the minute details of how an accident had killed her fiancé. Funny, she could remember his name for years afterwards, but everything that was said after that faded into a blur.

She was crying silently while her whole body shook. Sergeant Marks asked, Miss Johnson, is there anyone we can contact for you, to be with you during this difficult time? He paused and looked into her eyes. He had that same caring face that Nancy had. Annette pulled a notepad from the coffee table and asked for a pen. Sergeant Conners reached into his pocket and gave her one. She scribbled Nancy’s name and the phone number to the market. That’s when she broke down. Her hushed crying turned into great mournful sobs, and she hollered out all of her pain.

Annette grabbed Sergeant Mark’s suit and shook him as she screamed. This couldn’t be real. They were a figment of her subconscious mind. She didn’t really wake up that morning. She couldn’t have. NO! NO! NO! Marks held her and let her cry into his shoulder. Ma’am, please, I know this is hard for you. But please, calm down. You need to think of the baby.

Just then her belly tightened. They could see from her face that something was wrong. Sergeant Conners already had called Nancy and was speaking to her at the other end of the room. He turned around and saw what was happening. He told Nancy that there was something wrong with Miss Johnson and the baby, and she told him she’d meet them at the hospital. Nancy gave him the directions and her cell phone number in case they needed to get ahold of her.

Everything seemed to happen so fast. Annette didn’t really remember anything about the drive to the hospital, except for the excruciating pain. She did her breathing techniques and began inhaling through her nose, then exhaling slowly through her mouth. She spoke a prayer out loud, asking the Lord to help her. She couldn’t handle losing both Jake and the baby. Why was this happening? What did she do wrong? These and countless other questions were racing through her mind… questions that no one could answer.

∞∞∞

After determining that both the baby and Annette were safe, Doctor Michaels gave her a sedative. The stress was prompting minor contractions, and since the baby wasn’t due for another month, Annette needed to relax and rest as much as possible. When she awoke the next day, Nancy was there by her bed. She reached out to hold her hand.

Please tell me that was all a bad dream, Nancy. Tears began to spill out as she looked pleadingly at her friend.

I’m sorry, dear, answered Nancy. I’m so sorry, but this isn’t a dream.

We were supposed to get married. He was coming home to meet our baby. Her eyes became intense as she asked, …..the baby… is the baby ok?

Nancy gave her a gentle smile and said, Yes, the baby is fine, dear. The doctor gave you something so that you could rest some. You’re going to need plenty of rest until the baby comes. I’ll help you out as much as I can. Jason has agreed to run the store for a while.

Just then a nurse walked in. Oh, good. I see you’re up, she said. How are you feeling this morning, Annette?

∞∞∞

When Annette went back home later that day, Nancy insisted on staying with her. She didn’t object. Being alone in the house would be too much. Silence, emptiness, and so much time were waiting to push her over the edge. Nancy tried to make things as comfortable as she could for Annie. Her daughter must have had such a wonderful childhood. Annie couldn’t help but wonder what could have went so wrong in their relationship. Still, having her there certainly was appreciated greatly.

Annette was resting in bed when she remembered something she’d read in the news. Over in France there were women who were allowed to marry their fiancés who had already passed on. They were required to have extreme circumstances for their applications to even be considered, but that meant there was still a chance for her baby to not be born out of wedlock. She went to her computer and researched all she could about the strange stories in France.

When Nancy came up with some food, she asked what she was looking up. Nancy, what if Jake and I could still get married?

The odd question gave Nancy a chill. Annie, why would you ask such a thing? What are you reading?

Annette motioned her to look at the screen, and told her what the courts allowed the women in France to do. Maybe I could be granted the same permissions, she said hopefully. Our situation is just as extreme as these ladies’ were, and this way our baby would have his daddy. What do you think?

Oh, hon, I don’t think that’s a very good idea. Your Jake is gone, she answered. You just need time to grieve, Annie, and then some day, healing will come.

I’m not crazy, Nan. This would be good for me and the baby. Nancy could hear the determination in her voice. She knew she was being serious, but she just didn’t know how to respond. I am going to go to the court house and fill out an application. Will you come with me?

Nancy hesitated before she answered, Yes, of course I’ll come with you, Annie. But please, don’t get your hopes set on this. This sort of thing isn’t allowed here in America.

I know. That’s a problem, but there’s still a chance, isn’t there? Nancy could see the desperation in Annette’s eyes, and she couldn’t bear to deny her this small ounce of hope, even if those hopes were so very bizarre.

∞∞∞

Normally when a couple wants to get married they have to fill out the application, and both of them have to sign. Since this was not possible and what she was asking for had never been legal in the United States, she had to talk to a judge. He told her that the law did