Love You Forever

Love You Forever

Amelia Bishop

The Fae plane...

Moonlight falling through the trees dappled Silenus’s skin with silver, a sight Dionysus usually found appealing. But his lover’s face was drawn down in a scowl, his arms crossed stiffly under his chin. Jealous and mistrustful, Silenus side-eyed every move Dion made lately. So he had cheated, so what? In a five thousand year relationship, faithfulness would be more shocking. Even Silenus had taken the dance too far many nights. Dion never angered himself over it, and he certainly never pouted.

This time, though, Silenus was wrong. He hadn’t been unfaithful, not in hundreds of years.

Sil. Think of what you are implying. It makes no sense!

I have seen it, Dion. Don’t doubt my visions. His voice was heavy with wine, and Dion shook his head. Drunk. Of course. He’d most likely seen something in those visions of his, but whether it was a recent transgression or an ancient one was anyone’s guess.

Dion stretched out in the grass nearby and pointedly ignored Silenus’s nonsense. The veil was thin tonight, and if he let himself, he could feel the reverberation of revelry and mourning from the human plane. The debauchery of such temporary creatures had an intensity that could not be matched by immortals. He closed his eyes and let it soothe him.

CHAPTER ONE

There’s always the chance of a bad reaction, no matter how cool you think someone is. Cole’s own parents had been wonderful, as he’d expected. But still, coming out was nerve-wracking. Cole took his phone from his pocket, checking the time. Nine seventeen. Not too late, but Rick should’ve been there by now. God, I hope it went okay with his parents.

The near full moon gleamed in the clear night sky, and the river shone blue-white in its glow. Cole paced the river’s edge, listening for any sign of Rick’s approach. Nothing. Sand from the bank had snuck into his low-top sneakers, and he sat on a boulder to shake it out.

His mom had acted like she’d already known, and his dad had nodded, eyebrows drawn together, a serious frown on his face. Then, he’d grasped Cole to his chest and said, I love you, son, his voice gruff. They seemed to not know what to say and, after a few awkward questions, had gone back to their normal nightly activities, as if nothing had changed.

Which, Cole supposed, nothing had. Still, it was kind of a let-down. All that worrying about how to tell them, when to tell them, and then it was over in five minutes, with barely a reaction. He’d thought there might be a little excitement, something to validate all the stress.

Was Rick’s talk with his parents exciting? Stressful? The Cunhas had their faults, but Cole was sure they loved Rick. Where the hell is he? Cole checked his phone again, no missed calls. He tried to remember any political discussions in the Cunha house, any clues to how they might take the news their eldest son was gay, but he couldn’t recall anything useful.

Cole had been visiting Rick’s house since they were in the sixth grade. Sleepovers, birthday parties, school projects, all typical best-friend visits. He had years of good memories, but Mr. and Mrs. Cunha were only background in all of them. They smiled and treated him like a second son, but he thought little of them unless they were right in front of him. They were adults to be avoided, lied to, appeased. Now he wished he’d paid more attention.

But Rick had never spent much time talking about his parents, and he and Cole had never hung around the dinner table more than strictly necessary, preferring to escape to Rick’s room as soon as possible. Sue Cunha worked as a part time cashier at the grocery store, but her main job was caring for Rick’s younger siblings. The twins, Sadie and Samantha, were in kindergarten, and Tommy was in the third grade. Rick lived pretty much off her radar.

Richard Cunha sold office supplies, or rather he worked at a company that did. He had some sort of middle manager job as far as Cole could tell. When at home, he could be found in front of the television, beer in hand. Would he be the kind of person to disown his son? Cole couldn’t imagine it, but he couldn’t picture him giving Rick a hug, either, so anything was possible. Shit, Rick, where are you?

Cole strained to hear any signs of Rick’s approach, but the forest remained silent. He checked his phone again. Nine thirty and no missed calls or texts. Fuck. Ten more minutes and he’d call or head over to Rick’s house. What if it had gone badly? Would he even be welcome there? Once Rick came out, his parents would surely realize that Cole was more than just their son’s ‘best friend.’ Their frequent sleepovers would be exposed for what they really were. Will they hate me now?

The crunching of footsteps, still far off down the path, filled Cole with relief. But when Rick walked onto the sandy river’s edge and into the moonlight, Cole could see it hadn’t gone well. Rick’s long bangs, usually carefully disheveled, were artlessly slicked to the side. His eyes were smeared with black where his eyeliner had run, a sure sign he’d been crying. Ironic, that the ‘emo’ look would deteriorate so easily under the strain of actual emotion.

His camera was slung over his shoulder, not unusual, but under the circumstances it didn’t bode well. That camera was Rick’s most precious possession. If he’d felt the need to take it, he might not be planning to return home.

Tell me what happened. He didn’t acknowledge the damp sleeves of Rick’s sweatshirt, his trembling lip, or his puffy nose. Cole ached to hold him, but Rick held himself back, still close to tears, and turned away, facing the river.

I can’t go back.

Shit! They kicked you out?

No. I just can’t go back tonight. I don’t want to. I can’t see them, Cole, I... He slumped onto the boulder, face in his hands, and cried silently. Cole stuffed his hands into his pockets and paced the bank behind him.

Rick wasn’t a good crier. Cole had only seen him cry twice in all the years they’d been friends, and each time Rick had retreated afterward, angry and embarrassed. As much as he wanted to wrap Rick in his arms, he feared the reaction he’d receive. But when Rick sniffled, thick and wet, Cole muttered "Fuck this," and sat beside him, pulling him close.

When Rick stopped crying, Cole asked him again. What happened?

My mom didn’t believe me. My dad was pissed. He said I was just trying to get attention. It took a while to convince them I was serious. They tried to tell me I was wrong, that I didn’t know what I wanted yet, I’m too young, all that shit. I said I did know, I had to keep insisting. Finally they got it. And they were just...disgusted. I could see it in their faces. They think I’m gross.

His voice broke on the last word, and he pressed his mouth against Cole’s shoulder, stifling a sob. Cole held him tight, but kept carefully silent. Finally, Rick turned his head, laying his cheek on Cole’s chest, and continued, My mom said she still loves me, but it sounded like a lie. My dad’s disappointed in me.

He said that?

Yeah.

"Oh, Ricky." The pet names were a secret indulgence, one their adolescent insecurities didn’t allow them to acknowledge openly. But Rick only sighed and relaxed against Cole, his tears drying and his breaths even.

How did it go at your house?

Cole cringed. Had he really been wishing for more drama? It was fine, my parents were cool. They barely said anything, like it didn’t even matter.

Rick let out a deep breath and sat up. That’s good. You must have expected it, though.

Yeah. I guess. He tried not to feel guilty about how easy his coming-out had been. "What had you been expecting?"

I guess I thought they wouldn’t care. Or that they already suspected, or something. I didn’t think they’d have such a problem.

They say anything about me? Did you tell them about us, I mean?

Yeah. You’re not allowed to sleep over anymore. Rick laughed without any amusement and finger-combed his hair back into its usual style. Big surprise. How about your parents?

They said you can’t stay in my bedroom. That was the only thing they were mad about, actually. That I lied about you and that I might be having ‘unsafe sex’. I told them I wasn’t, but they didn’t want to hear details.

Will they let me stay over tonight? Rick’s voice cracked a little, but he kept his face composed.

Of course. They love you, you know that. They’re just mad we were fucking around under their noses.

Cole reached out and laid his hand against Rick’s cheek, another too-sweet gesture that was unusual out of the bedroom for them. But they were out now, weren’t they? No need to be so careful. And here, in their spot, they were almost as alone as when they were locked safely in a bedroom. Rick leaned into his palm and closed his eyes.

Sorry. I’m being such a baby. I fucking hate crying.

I know. You don’t have to feel like that with me, though. I love you.

I love you, too. Rick met his eyes then. They’d never said ‘I love you’ so openly before. Usually it was whispered, moaned, eyes closed and bodies naked. Rick smiled, and Cole said, We’re out, now. We can say that whenever we want.

Yeah. He leaned in for a kiss, lips salty, cheeks damp, and Cole met it eagerly. Rick was the only guy Cole had ever kissed, and at eighteen, he didn’t care to try anyone else. They’d gone from grade school best friends, to junior-high masturbation partners, to high-school secret lovers. For Cole, Rick was sex and love and pleasure and friendship, all rolled into one.

Rick broke their kiss first, leaning into Cole’s shoulder and sighing. Hey, wanna smoke?

Sure. He pulled out a joint and lighter from his pocket and lit it, taking a deep drag before he passed it to Rick.

They both had pot on them, like they always did when they met here. Not because they always smoked, but as a cover in case of discovery. The river was usually quiet: most kids preferred to hang at the beach or the park. But though this little spot was rarely used, they’d been surprised here before.

That time, luckily, Rick had a joint in his pocket, and when Lora Markell and Alyssa Brown stomped down the path with their boyfriends in tow, looking for a place to drink and make out, Rick had lit up quickly. It gave them a plausible reason to be in the woods alone together and disguised the oddness of their actions. They made sure to bring a little weed with them every time after that, just in case.

They sat, shoulder to shoulder, and passed the joint until it was more than half gone. When Rick refused another drag, Cole pinched off the head and put it back in his pocket. He’d taken one hit too many, but his parents didn’t expect him home for a few hours. It would be okay. He snuggled in to Rick’s side.

I’m fucked up.

Rick laughed, Me, too. He wrapped an arm around Cole and kissed the side of his head. It’s all right. We can chill here for a while.

They sat in silence, drifting. Cole focused on the sound of crickets and peeping frogs and thought about the coming summer. In a few weeks, they’d graduate high school. The summer would be short, and they’d separate for college before fall.

I wish we were going to the same school.

So do I. Hey if I could afford it, I’d be there. You know that. Rick’s words were light, but the subject was a tender one. Cole immediately felt guilty.

I know. Sorry.

But Rick kissed his head and tightened his arm around Cole’s shoulder, proving he wasn’t upset. Cole had been accepted at the Rhode Island School of Design, a huge accomplishment. He’d scored a partial scholarship, but it would still take all his college funds and a hefty student loan to meet tuition. Still, there was no better place to study art, and he was thrilled at the idea of starting classes in September.

Rick would have loved it, too. But his grades were below average, and his portfolio wasn’t near what it should be for acceptance at a serious art school, though his photography was great. Cole suspected Rick hadn’t tried his best with the portfolio, knowing his parents couldn’t pay the high tuition at RISD anyway.

Instead, Rick planned on attending the state university and living on campus. They had a decent photography program, and he’d only be an hour from Cole. It was still sad, and a little scary, to think they’d be apart, but the excitement of college made it a bit more bearable.

Rick slid away from him and stood, stretching his back. I can’t sit on that rock anymore.

Cole just smiled, still lost in his thoughts about their future. What would it be like to be away from Rick? They’d been almost inseparable since before junior high. Would he make new friends? Would Rick? The thought of Rick laughing and fooling around with anyone else turned his stomach. No. Rick wouldn’t. But there’d be plenty of opportunities at school, and he’d be alone...

I love you.

Rick turned and laughed, his eyes soft and patronizing. You’re so stoned, man. It’s okay, I love you too. He bent and kissed the top of Cole’s head, still chuckling.

No, I mean yes, I’m stoned, but I...you’re not going to find a new boyfriend, right? At school?

The laughter died, and Rick sat again, eyes on the dark ground. "We’ve talked about this a dozen times, Cole. I love you. We’ll make it work. Anyway, maybe you’ll be the one who finds a new boyfriend. Some hot artist with money and a nice ass. How do I know you won’t want to leave me?"

I’d never want that.

We can both say that now, but what about next year? We’ll have new lives. Meet new people. You don’t know how you’ll feel then.

I know I’ll always love you.

Rick turned to him, taking Cole’s face in his hands. Their skin in the moonlight shone gray-light, like all the color had washed away, and for a moment, Cole thought of Rick’s black and white photographs, the silvery highlights and deep-black shadows he used so well. No matter how he tried, Cole could never duplicate that monochromatic luminosity with paint or pencil.

I’ll always love you, too. No matter what happens, Cole. Rick kissed him. A soft, sweet kiss without any urgency. Don’t worry so much.

The night was still and silent, and as they kissed in the moonlight, Cole knew a peace more satisfying than anything he’d ever felt. They were out, honest, open. No more hiding. They’d graduate soon, and start a new life as adults. Rick loved him and always would.

He slipped his tongue into Rick’s mouth, just a tease to see if Rick was into more than just a kiss here. Rick’s hands pulled him closer and his mouth opened wider, deepening their kiss. It might have been the weed, but suddenly the night seemed too quiet. The silence hummed in his ears like uneven cabin pressure on an airplane. Cole let out a little squeak, moved his mouth from Rick’s and realized Rick was feeling the pressure as well. The humming reached an unbearable pitch, and his ears popped.

His eyes stayed on Rick, but as the pressure in his head equalized, a flash of light from the river had him turning in time to see a ripple of air, like a heat wave, shining in the moonlight. Two figures walked out, stumbling and splashing onto the sand. Cole grabbed Rick reflexively and pulled him back, close to the tree line.

Whoosa loverss here? Whossit? Whaarre-ya? A man with dark curly hair, cut short but unevenly, stumbled forward and fell onto his knees in the sand. He wore a loose pair of leather pants and an old fashioned tunic, untied at the neck. His sloppy movements and unfocused gaze confirmed what his slurred speech  suggested - he was drunk.

Ugh, Silenus, you fool! Get back in the portal now, or I swear to the vine I’ll leave you here. The second man stood steady on his feet, his voice strong and clear. He was dressed similarly, but wore his tunic neatly tied and laced at the neck, his pants more properly fitted. He was taller than the drunk Silenus, with broad shoulders and a slight paunch at his middle, and his hair gleamed silvery gray.

He reached out to wrap an arm around Silenus, who shrugged him off.

"I felt a love here, Dion, a love like we used to have. I want to see it. You can give me that, at least!" Anger smoothed his speech, and he stood as he spoke, shaky but straight, facing Dion with one hand on his hip.

"Sil, we still have a love, stop this madness, please." Dion approached him cautiously, as one might a wild animal.

"How can you say that? I saw you with that maenad. He spat the word, stepping close to Dion’s face. You will never stop taking lovers, I’ve seen the truth of it!"

Cole and Rick stood stock still, their dark clothing nearly invisible in the night, arms wrapped around each other in frozen shock.

Dion threw up his arms in exasperation, I’ve explained that, Sil, but if you won’t believe me, I’m not going to keep talking. Find your humans and let’s go home to bed. I’m tired.

Silenus grumbled something about the bed being too crowded and squinted at the tree line where Cole and Rick stood. I know you’re there! Come out, come here and let me see you.

Cole inched his head close to Rick’s ear and whispered, We should run.

Rick nodded once and stepped back, ready to bolt. But the path was ten feet to their left, and this early in spring the vegetation was too thin to cover their escape. Cole clasped Rick’s elbow, preparing to make a dash across the exposed rocky sand and into the safety of the woods. But before they could take a step, a hand covered his shoulder, pinning him in place.

My friend wishes to speak with you, and it seems I won’t have peace until he does. You will indulge him. Dion guided them closer to the river’s edge, until they stood in front of Silenus, who squinted at them with his mouth half open.

Oh! Look how young they are, Dion! Younger than we ever were, I think.

You’re probably right. Dion had one large, heavy, hand on each of their shoulders, squeezing in a way that held equal parts comfort and threat. His voice sounded distant, bored. What do you want with them, Sil?

I want to read them. He placed his smooth palm on Cole’s cheek and smiled, leaning closer and closing his eyes in bliss. Ahh, here is the source! Loyal as a dog, and with a love just as pure. He patted Cole’s cheek and sighed, opening his eyes just a sliver as his smile widened.

Moving to Rick, he repeated his cheek caress. This time, his smile wavered and his brow creased. You will stray, never satisfied, never appreciating the gift you’ve been given! His voice rose as he spoke, and on the last words he opened his eyes and scowled at Rick, then twisted his hand to grip Rick’s chin in his hand. You will appreciate him, or you will die. I curse you, mortal! Silenus’s golden eyes drilled into Rick’s soft brown ones, and he kept his grip firm on Rick’s chin. Embrace each day, meet lips at this very hour, and live in health. Forget your bond, and perish alone.  He flicked his wrist, sending Rick’s head back sharply.

Cole’s skin chilled at the words, as if a freak breeze somehow crept under his shirt, turning his skin to gooseflesh. He shook