A Jamerican Dream (The Jesse Mendes Story)

Prologue-A Little Taste

My palms feel sweaty, and my stomach is bubbling. I reach for the drinks on the table next to me and pour the club soda into a tall glass. Putting the glass to my lips the bubbles from the soda tickle my nose, and I take a sip to calm my stomach. I'm in the dressing room preparing for my interview with Cynthia Clarkson, the new talk show host at Live in Miami, to talk about my new book, Nothing but Courage. I have to pinch myself sometimes because it’s hard to believe I will be on television. It’s a favorite book amongst my readers, and it already sold over a million copies. 

Mrs. Mendes-Brooks, are you almost ready? Miss Clarkson said that you’ll be on in 30 minutes, calls out her assistant.

I jump and glance towards the door taking a deep breath. Yes, I reply. I’m finishing up and will be ready when it’s time.

Where is my husband? I look at my watch and clench my fist around the glass. I cannot believe he’s not here to support me. He’d better get it together because I don’t have time to worry about what’s bugging him. He already knows how I feel. The quarrel we had two days ago about starting a family has been bothering me. Who has time for a baby? He knows that I don’t have the time right now with my international book tours and my ongoing speaking engagements. I am living my dream, and no one will spoil it, not even him. I’ve waited too long for this opportunity, ever since I was a little girl growing up in Jamaica. I knew then that I wanted to do something great with my life, and my moment was finally here.

Part I -Trelawny, Jamaica Mid-Eighties

Chapter 1-Introduction

Raindrops trickle down my face, and my umbrella almost lifts me off the ground. My teeth are chattering, and I’m shivering as I walk to school on this Friday morning in March with my little sisters, Louise, and Sandra.  I’m Justine, but everyone calls me Jesse, and I’m thirteen years old.  I live in a small town named Wait-A-Bit in the Parish of Trelawny, Jamaica, a vast farming town.  The big houses are on the hilltop, and the medium and smaller ones are down the hill. I live down the hill in a medium yellow brick cottage with a red zinc rooftop and a big wall in front of the yard. There are lots of fruit trees surrounding the home, and there’s a big ackee tree outside of my bedroom window.  My sisters and I have lived with our grandma, Mama Tete, for almost seven years now.  Sandra is ten years old and Louise will be seven in May, and we walk to school with some of the other children from town every morning.

Hurry up nuh, we going be late again, I complain to my sisters. If we late, we going to get lick again.

"Mi is coming, Jesse, Sandra says. Louise is taking too long."

That’s not true, Jesse, Louise says, jumping in. Sandra taking all the umbrella and mi getting wet.

I glance around to see them fighting with the umbrella they’re sharing; it's blowing all the over the place.  A few times it almost lifts them off the ground. Mi don’t care, I say, stomping my feet in the puddles. You two are always too slow in the mornings, and mi tired of being late because of you.

The raindrops are pounding on top of my umbrella and my uniform feels damp. My shoes are now squeaking as I splash my way through the big puddles formed on the road.  I can barely see in front of me since my hair is blowing all over my face. I can’t believe Mama Tete rushed us out of the house this morning to go to school.   She saw that the rain was coming down, but she still ran us out of the house. If mi catches a cold it will be her fault, I whisper under my breath.

A little while later, we walk into the school with the other children, and then the bell rings. What a relief, I think, because me didn't want to get any licks again. Whenever I get to school late, Headmaster Bishop will bring out the ruler and my hand will be sore for the rest of the day. My teeth are still chattering and I have goose bumps all over my arms. On our way to class, we bump into Miss Williams, the school’s secretary, a tall skinny older woman who wears a black curly wig and big eyeglasses.

Oh my goodness, girls, you’re soaking wet! she says. Come into the office to dry off before you catch a cold. Jesse, why didn’t you girls wait until the rain let up?

I glance over at her in surprise. We didn’t want to be late, Miss Williams, I say. "You know that Headmaster Bishop doesn’t like lateness under no circumstances. Plus, Mama Tete rushed us out of the house so we didn’t have a say."

Well dear, the rain is coming down today, she says. "I don’t think that he would’ve penalized you and the girls for lateness. Anyway, what’s done is done. Come on let’s get you girls dried off."

I am so relieved she offers to help us dry off before class; I feel the chills coming on.  A couple of hours later, I'm nodding off in class and am rudely interrupted by Miss Williams’ loud squeaky voice.

 Jesse dear, she says. Headmaster Bishop would like to see you in his office now.

Hearing her voice startles me, and I glance up at her my brows wrinkled. Did I do something wrong, Miss Williams? I ask. 

She turns to face me with a blank expression. Not that I know of, child, she replies. I am just relaying the message.

Getting up, I push back the chair, feeling the other children stares piercing my back. They’re probably curious to know why Headmaster Bishop wants to see me too; I rarely get into trouble. I excuse myself from class and stroll over to his office.  My heart is thumping hard against my chest, and I'm fretful. I wonder what he wants with me now.

Standing in front of the door, I tap on it. Come in child and take a seat, he says in a deep voice.

Opening the door, I see him sitting behind an enormous mahogany desk. I walk over to sit on the chair in front of his desk. Headmaster Bishop is a burly dark skinned bald man with thick mustache covering his top lips.

Headmaster Bishop, what do you have to tell me? I blurt out before he can speak. Did I do or say something wrong to the teacher?

He glances at me, shakes his head and smiles. No, child, you did nothing wrong, he says. I just want to inform you that you’re one of our top students here at Wait-A-Bit All-Age School. He pauses for a second to pick up a pen and continues. Every year we offer our top students the opportunity to receive a scholarship to a prominent boarding school.  I want to meet with Mrs. Mendes to tell her about the scholarship you will receive for a boarding school in Montego Bay. He reaches in his desk drawer to take out an envelope handing it to me. Give this to her, he says. It’s the official letter notifying you of the scholarship.

I reach out to take the envelope, in a state of shock from the news. I’m a good student and get all A’s in all my subjects, but to be one of the top students at school? It’s a big deal for me. A thrill of excitement washes over me, and I jump up twirling around in a circle.

Thank you, Headmaster Bishop, for the fantastic news, I say, trying to keep still.  "This is the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. I can’t wait to tell mi Mama Tete. I mean my Mama Tete." I correct my grammar just in time. He hates it when I talk slang, and will give me a lecture about how I should always speak proper English and present myself as a lady at all times.

I feel like I am walking on air for the rest of the day in school and run all the way home.  My sisters are trailing behind me as usual, trying their best to catch up to me.  Reaching the house, I dart up the front steps leading to the veranda. I almost fall because it's a little slippery from the rain. Bursting through the front door, I gasp for air, and race to the kitchen.

Mama Tete is sitting with Miss Una chatting and sipping tea.  Mama Tete is plump with large bosoms, and her skin is the color of mahogany. She has a round face with dark brown eyes, a broad nose and thin lips; she usually wears a scarf to cover the gray hair.

Mama Tete, Mama Tete! I say, jumping up and down with the envelope in my hand. Guess what happened in school today?

She looks at me eyes widening. Calm down, child! What happen?   

Headmaster Bishop said that I’m going get a scholarship to a school in MoBay, I say catching my breath. I’m one of the top students in the school. Here is the letter about the scholarship. I give her the envelope.

She takes the envelope and looks at me with pride. What you say, child? she says, smiling. Wow, mi can’t believe it! She glances over at Miss Una and exclaims, Una, did you hear what Jesse say?

Miss Una nods with a smile on her face.  Miss Una is a small muddy-skin middle aged woman with a gap between her front teeth; her short coarse hair is tied up with a red scarf. She’s Mama Tete’s best friend and our neighbor. Mama Tete reaches over to pull me in for a hug.  

Feeling her big arms around me, make me feel like I am going to suffocate. I have to come up for air. If I were to get my head stuck in those bosoms, I would be in trouble for sure. I chuckle to myself.

Mi have to make you something good for supper tonight. She says smiling. You have a big brain on you. Get you sisters and go clean up.

Feeling good, I nod and look towards the door. Louise and Sandra, come inside to wash up, I call out.

We coming, Jesse.

Later on that night, I toss and turn on my squeaky bed. For some reason, I cannot fall asleep. I'm still feeling good about the news I received from school today. I always dreamt about leaving Wait-A-Bit, because I have never felt like I fit in with the other children. I have lived here all my life and know something bigger is waiting for me. I love my sisters and will miss them if I go to school in MoBay, but I want to be a child for once. It seems like forever since I’ve been taking care of them. 

Mama Tete does her best to support us by making dresses for the women in town, especially the women in the big houses. My papa lives in America, and sends us money from time to time, and we even get a barrel from foreign once in a while. Mama Tete goes crazy when a barrel comes from foreign; she invites our neighbors and Miss Una to share our food and clothes, but that hasn’t happened in a while.

On nights like these, I always think about my papa Noel in America and my mum Sissy. I wish I could’ve told them the news. I ache for them to be here with my sisters and me. My papa is tall with a caramel complexion, dark brown tight curls, and a small straight nose. He also has hazel eyes, a chiseled chin, and full lips; Mama Tete says the ladies in Wait-A-Bit used to fawn all over him. He brought my two sisters and me to live with Mama Tete. He told us that he got a job in America, and when he settled down, he was going to send for us. That’s almost seven years ago now.

My mum Sissy, her real name is Cecilia, has the tiniest waist I’ve ever seen. It’s almost as small as mine, which makes her bosoms seem larger than they already are. Her eyes are enormous and brown and look like they could take on the world. Her skin is the color of brown sugar, and her long black silky hair falls around her oval-shaped face. Mama Tete had mentioned she’s mixed with Indian. Her father was from India, a country on the other side of the world known for its spices and curry. She is an orphan and grew up with different relatives all over Jamaica. Mama Tete claims it’s the reason she can’t stay still.

My hair is long too, but it’s dark brown with curls. Right now, it’s knotted up from the rain this morning. Mama Tete told me I look a lot like my mum. I don’t think so; I’m much lighter with hazel eyes, an oval face and a small straight nose like my papa. Sandra looks like my mum; she is the same shade with big brown eyes and a little button nose. Her hair is darker and straighter than mine and Louise.

Whenever my mum comes to visit, she doesn’t stay long. The people in town are already whispering about her being a lega beast gal in Kingston. I didn’t know what the word meant until Gemma told me she is loose with men. I don’t remember her being around much when we all lived together with my papa either.  She and my papa used to fight all the time and she would leave the house and didn’t come back for days. My papa finally got fed up and threw her clothes out of the house one day.  He took my sisters and me to live with Mama Tete; then he left for America.

Mama Tete told me the story about when my papa met my mum. He was 17 years old, and mum was 15. They met while he was visiting a friend in Clarendon, where all the coolies lived. Mama Tete mentioned papa came back home with stars in his eyes. Unable to get mum off his mind, he would find ways back to Clarendon to see her. He didn’t want another man to snap her up. My mum became pregnant with me at 16, and papa married her with permission from her Aunty Mae.

Mama Tete revealed papa was possessive not letting her out of his sight. My mum still wanted to go running into the streets even after she and papa got married. She never could stay put, and nothing seemed to satisfy her. After papa had left, I used to wonder why she didn’t come back to Wait-A-Bit to take care of us. Not anymore, it only brings more heartache. Yawning and feeling sleepy, I get my mind off my parents and look for my journal. I will write about the wonderful day I had. Writing is my escape from the sadness that overtakes me.

Dear Journal:

I cannot believe that Headmaster Bishop thinks that I’m a good student and has offered me a scholarship to one of the fancy prep schools that only rich kids go to. Me. Justine Mendes am one of the top students in school? It makes me feel so giddy on the inside, and I so wish with all my heart that my mum and papa were here to share the great news. Now I can go away to another place and be a regular girl like all the other children. I don’t have to worry about washing the clothes, cleaning the house, combing my sisters’ hair and ironing our uniforms. I know Mama Tete does her best, but I’m so sick of it. I wish with all my heart that didn’t have to worry about doing housework. Wishing I was anywhere else but here. My eyes are getting weary now so I will be back tomorrow.

Good Night. Jesse.

The next morning, the sun beams through my windows and wakes me up. It’s hard to believe it was pouring rain yesterday. I snuggle more underneath the covers, turning back over to sleep. It’s short-lived; Mama Tete’s booming voice disturbs my peace.

Jesse, get out a bed and come for your breakfast. Mi don’t know what taking you so long to get out a bed this morning, she says mad. You have a lot of work to do after you eat and you have to wash and comb you sisters’ hair.

I roll over on the bed with the pillow over my head. Mi is coming, Mama Tete, I say, groaning. Mi coming.

Good, she answers. Because mi’s calling you for 15 minutes now. You always have you head in the clouds.

Gritting my teeth, I fling off the covers and jump out of bed.  Yawning, I stretch my arms getting the kinks out and stroll across the room. I search through the cherry wood vanity in the corner of the room for my clothes. After sorting out my clothes, I stick my head out the window staring at the deep blue sky. Closing my eyes, I breathe in the sweet smells of the blossoming roses; it tickles my nose.

Needing a bath before my chores, I walk towards the bathroom. I am happy we have one inside the house with running water. A year ago, Papa sent us money to add a bathroom to the house with a water tank in the back; it allows running water inside the house. Mama Tete says we're like the people in the big houses now. We didn’t have to use the toilet in the back of the house anymore and bathe in the big basin like we used to.

After eating breakfast and cleaning the house, I sit on the front steps of the house with the sun warming my skin. I am braiding my sister Louise’s hair, and she’s not sitting still. Feeling miff, I pull on the strands with the comb.

Ouch, she gasps. Jesse, stop it! She moves her head around. You hurting mi head.

You need to keep still, Louise, I say, parting her long thick curly hair. Mi can’t braid your hair when you move around like this. She has the same texture hair like mine and looks a lot like me too, but with my mum’s skin tone and big brown eyes.

Mama Tete, Mama Tete, she screams. Jesse is hurting mi head.

Hearing her complain has me feeling hot. That’s not true, Mama Tete, I say, jumping in. She is not holding still, and it’s hard to do her hair like that. You know she doesn’t want to sit still like Sandra to comb her hair. I lean back on the steps, still feeling heated.

Mama Tete is hanging out the laundry on the clothesline, and she shouts back. Louise, sit still so you sister can plait your hair; if you nuh comb your hair, you can’t go out to play today.

Louise sits back with a pout on her face while I finish braiding her hair. Sandra and I will be at Beat Back today with my friend Gemma, and she wants to come too.  Beat Back is our fun local spot; it’s a waterfall, and most of the town usually bathe and swims there.

Later on, me, Gemma, Sandra and Louise jump and splash in the water.  The water gushes over the rocks and falls into a beautiful pool at the bottom.

Watch out, Gemma, I am coming! I say jumping into the water. Shivering when I hit the fresh water, but we're having so much fun it doesn’t seem to matter. The water pounds against my back, and it’s refreshing.  Mama Tete warned us not to stay long and to make sure older people are here too. I am a good swimmer; my Uncle Robert taught me. The only bad thing that can happen is getting a cramp in one of my legs.

Uncle Robert is my father’s twin brother, and he lives in Falmouth, the capital of Trelawny. He comes up to visit us once in a while, and we go there for summer vacation.  He doesn’t look like papa; they’re fraternal twins. Mama Tete says papa has all the looks.  She talks about how much he resembles my grandfather Gustavo, who died before I was born. She’s always bragging about how handsome my grandfather looked because he was from Cuba. Though I saw an old black-and-white photo of them when they were younger, and papa looks like him.  Uncle Robert is darker and looks