Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    A Geezer's Guide to Mullet Maintenance and Combover Care
    A Geezer's Guide to Mullet Maintenance and Combover Care
    A Geezer's Guide to Mullet Maintenance and Combover Care
    Ebook134 pages

    A Geezer's Guide to Mullet Maintenance and Combover Care

    By Chris Martin

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    You only need to look at the story of Samson and Delilah to see just how important a man’s hairstyle can be. Thankfully, A Geezer’s Guide to Mullet Maintenance and Combover care is guide to selecting, growing and maintaining a stylish, comfortable and well-groomed hair helmet. Including: manly grooming tips; a breakdown of barnets to try out, such as the Curtain Cut (try to look like Johnny Depp; try not to look like Worzel Gummidge) or the Quiff (try to look like Alex Turner from the Arctic Monkeys; try not to look like Nick Grimshaw); a perambulation through hirsute history; a rundown of famous hair aficionados, from Albert Einstein to Paul McCartney via Adolf Hitler; hair and hairstyling records (can you beat the Longest Time Hanging by your Hair record?); the most ridiculous names for hair salons (Crops and Bobbers vs Shear-N-Dipity). The perfect gift for every man: from the metrosexual to those who just want to progress from their mum’s bowl cuts; whether he wants to learn how to carefully calm his cowlick or skilfully shine his skinhead.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherThe History Press
    Release dateApr 1, 2013
    ISBN9780752492797
    A Geezer's Guide to Mullet Maintenance and Combover Care
    Author

    Chris Martin

    CHRIS MARTIN is this very moment endeavoring to become himself, a somemany and tilted thinking animal who sways, hags, loves, trees, lights, listens, and arrives. He is a poet who teaches and learns in mutual measure, as the connective hub of Unrestricted Interest/TILT and the curator of Multiverse, a series of neurodivergent writing from Milkweed Editions. His most recent book of poems is Things to Do in Hell (Coffee House, 2020) and he lives on the edge of Bde Maka Ska in Minneapolis, among the bur oaks and mulberries, with Mary Austin Speaker and their two bewildering creatures. 

    Read more from Chris Martin

    Related to A Geezer's Guide to Mullet Maintenance and Combover Care

    Related ebooks

    Humor & Satire For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      Three’s A Charm

      Aug 12, 2021

      I came, I saw, I conquered. Veni, vidi, vici. The power phrase uttered by Julius Caesar around 47 BC is now oft stamped as tattoos on men and women who have accomplished some feat in their lives—perhaps overcoming an illness or attaining a personal m

      2 min read

    • Article

      On A Wig And A Prayer

      Feb 21, 2024

      On A Wig And A Prayer
      3 min read

    • Article

      Evolution Of The Knight

      Mar 27, 2020

      Evolution Of The Knight
      9 min read

    • Article

      Romans Dressing The Part

      May 30, 2022

      Romans Dressing The Part
      7 min read

    • Article

      A Call To Arms

      Nov 23, 2022

      A Call To Arms
      4 min read

    • Article

      Deadly Fashion

      Aug 10, 2023

      Deadly Fashion
      7 min read

    • Article

      Dark Fashion

      Jan 4, 2019

      Dark Fashion
      9 min read

    • Article

      Signs Of The Times

      Sep 6, 2019

      Signs Of The Times
      6 min read

    • Article

      Hairstyles in History

      Nov 1, 2022

      Hair is great for keeping your head warm. But why stop there? It can be a work of art too! Here’s a peek at some of history’s great moments in hairstyling. In the time of the pyramids, Egyptians wore their hair oiled and braided—or not at all. Wea

      2 min read

    • Article

      Medieval Life

      Dec 21, 2023

      Medieval Life
      5 min read

    • Article

      A Testament to Survival

      Sep 1, 2020

      A Testament to Survival
      7 min read

    • Article

      The Celts At War

      Apr 20, 2021

      The world of the Celts spanned the continent of Europe, from the central region to as far north as the British Isles, as far west as the Iberian Peninsula and as far east as Anatolia. Scholars still argue over whether these Bronze and Iron Age people

      8 min read

    • Article

      Mullets Through The Ages

      Oct 3, 2021

      If your mullet ever cops a bit of flack from judgy relatives (or those who think the cut is just for bogans and young ne’er-do-wells) hit them with its historic bona fides. Ancient Greek poet Homer is credited with the first written mention of the st

      5 min read

    • Article

      'Black Tudors' Reveals a Surprising and Overlooked Chapter of History

      Nov 16, 2017

      Hidden in British archives and parish records are the identities of dozens of black people who lived in England during Tudor times.

      3 min read

    • Article

      Q&A YOU ASK, WE ANSWER

      Dec 29, 2020

      Q&A YOU ASK, WE ANSWER
      8 min read

    • Article

      Want To Get Ahead? Get A Hat

      Jun 1, 2022

      Oldies of a certain vintage may remember when the sight of an unadorned male head was remarkable. Men’s hats were everywhere, as any old film or newsreel will amply demonstrate. Throughout the 19th century and well into the 20th, a gentleman leaving

      4 min read

    • Article

      When In Rome!

      Nov 17, 2022

      When In Rome!
      7 min read

    • Article

      Coats Of Many Colours

      Jun 3, 2021

      Edited by Catherine Austen catherine.austen@futurenet.com @cfausten123 WHEN at a masters’ meeting some years ago, the topic of the kennel-huntsman’s frequent “visits” to see a married lady subscriber was misguidedly attributed to “scarlet fever”. My

      6 min read

    • Article

      Inbox

      Oct 5, 2023

      Inbox
      4 min read

    • Article

      It's In The Mail

      Apr 12, 2024

      It's In The Mail
      3 min read

    • Article

      Q&A YOU ASK, WE ANSWER

      May 14, 2020

      Q&A YOU ASK, WE ANSWER
      8 min read

    • Article

      History’s Deadliest Garb

      Feb 5, 2023

      History’s Deadliest Garb
      3 min read

    • Article

      England, Our England

      Jun 8, 2018

      England, Our England
      9 min read

    • Article

      Knights Of The Long Knives

      May 11, 2023

      Knights Of The Long Knives
      6 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for A Geezer's Guide to Mullet Maintenance and Combover Care

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      A Geezer's Guide to Mullet Maintenance and Combover Care - Chris Martin

      A SHORT HISTORY OF HAIRSTYLES

      You only need to look at the story of Samson and Delilah to see just how important a man’s hairstyle can be. In this epic Bible story the famously strong man was stripped of his powers by the loss of his locks. While this cautionary tale has inspired writers, sculptors, composers and screenwriters throughout the ages, Samson’s drape is just one of a long list of classic men’s hairstyles over the centuries. What follows is a whistle-stop journey through the hairdos that shaped the world of men as we know it.

      Ancient World

      Having just evolved from apes and with the first professional hairdresser still several centuries away, it is safe to assume that primeval man must have rocked some kind of Shag cut, even though it may have been difficult to distinguish it from the rest of his abundant body hair. As early and primitive societies formed, the first formal hairstyles began to evolve, with men’s long unruly hair being tied back with hide bands. However, men soon evolved further to use iron or bronze shears to crudely crop their unruly bangs in an effort to control it. By the time of the Babylonian and Assyrian Empires, men were going further than just cropping and began to deliberately style their hair, growing it long and dyeing it black, as well as creating crimping and curling effects with hot irons to set off their long square beards.

      The Ancient Egyptians chose to wear their hair very short and even shaved their heads to deal with the desert heat. Sexually ambiguous members of the royal elite would cover their bald domes with elaborate headdresses and wigs held in place with beeswax and resin. These were cut into short symmetrical shapes or styled into long braids before being adorned with ivory hairpins, flowers or golden ornaments. But by the time of the Golden Age of Greece such gender-bending flamboyance was gone, as the Greeks – with their focus on logic and reason – favoured short, pragmatic haircuts.

      Roman Empire

      Probably the most famous do of the Roman era was created by the emperor Julius Caesar who wore his hair short, brushed forward from the crown and oiled flat against his scalp. Though the Imperial trim set off a laurel crown delightfully, such Caesar cuts had not always been popular in Ancient Rome. In the early – more austere – days of the Republic, Roman men generally followed simple styles inspired by their Greek forebears. It was in the later years of Imperial Rome that the Romans’ narcissism (helped by the fact that they ruled most of the known world) ushered in a whole new age.

      Barbering had been introduced to Rome from the Greek colonies of Sicily in 296 BC. Though public barbers were originally used by those who could not afford to keep a slave to cut their hair, the new shops quickly became popular as a venue to catch up on local gossip and political moves in the Senate. As a bonus, these first barbers doubled up as surgeons and dentists, so as well as a haircut and shave, they’d throw in blood-letting, cupping, leeching and even the odd enema. Access to these new (relatively) skilled hairstylists, combined with the wild extravagance of the times, saw the upper classes fashioning elaborate ringlets with curling irons and dusting their hair with coloured powders or – for those committed to the kind of super bling that would put P Diddy to shame – gold dust.

      Middle Ages

      Following the collapse of the Roman Empire, the Germanic barbarians who overran Europe preferred to focus more on destruction and mayhem than hairdressing. They favoured long, flowing (unwashed) locks and straggly beards – a bit like a nation of psychotic Gandalfs. One ruling family of the barbarian era, the Merovingians, were often referred to as the ‘long-haired kings’ (Latin reges criniti) as their unchecked hair growth clearly distinguished them from the more civilised Franks, who commonly cut their hair short. These barbarians attached great importance to their hair. How long a man’s hair was became a symbol of power and authority, and in battle they tied their tresses in a high Top Knot to appear taller and more terrifying to their short-haired enemies. Indeed, outside of being caught flipping through interior-decoration magazines with his knitting circle, the worst humiliation a barbarian could face was to lose his hair; as a result slaves and war prisoners were routinely shorn to complete their humiliation.

      Near the end of the tenth century, the Catholic Church, seeking to curtail the power of the barbarian kings, began to issue edicts against the length of men’s hair. Excommunication by Rome meant the loss of a king’s authority to rule, so these edicts meant Christian kings had to get a haircut and shave pronto or risk being unseated. The results saw a movement towards shoulder-length hair. This

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1