Bottoms Out (About a Bottoms, Vol 2)

Copyright © 2014, 2016, 2020 by Etienne

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Wherever possible, the syntax and spelling in this book follows guidelines set forth in The Chicago Manual of Style, 14th Edition, and in the Merriam-Webster online dictionary.

Cover Art © 2016, 2020 by Gerald Lopez

Acknowledgments

To Jim Kennedy, my personal editor and unsung hero, thanks.

To my partner of twenty plus years, thank you for your support.

And to the several helpful fans who read and critiqued the book for me, I am deeply grateful.

I would also like to thank fellow author Gerald Lopez for allowing two of his characters to visit the characters in this book. For more information on Bobby Carter the librarian and his partner Nash, see Dueling Divas, by Gerald Lopez. It’s available from Smashwords.Com and Amazon.Com.

Author’s Notes

Many people have written to inquire if the places described in the Avondale stories are real, and I'm happy to say that most of them are. Avondale is a very real neighborhood in Jacksonville, Florida, situated between Roosevelt Boulevard (US-17) and the St. Johns River. It is bounded on the northeast by McDuff Avenue which separates it from the neighborhood known as Riverside, and on the southwest by Fishweir Creek.

After the great fire of 1901 leveled much of downtown Jacksonville, destroying over two thousand buildings and leaving nearly ten thousand people homeless, the Springfield neighborhood immediately north of downtown was developed. Then the city began to move west and south along the St. Johns River, and first Riverside then Avondale were born. Said to be the first planned community in Florida, Avondale was developed in the nineteen twenties.

The restaurants frequented by our guys are very real, and pretty much as described in the stories:

The Derby House, sometimes referred to as Gorgi’s Derby House was a popular restaurant for several decades, until it closed circa 2011, give or take a year or so. It was the kind of neighborhood hangout where people seated themselves. After its closure, the building was remodeled, enlarged a bit, and a new restaurant emerged, known as The Derby on Park.

Biscottis, which opened in the fall of 1993, is a very popular restaurant located in the Avondale shopping area.

The Pizza Italian in Five Points, was opened by a Greek immigrant in the spring of 1976, and he dished out good pizza, wonderful lasagna, and the best meatball subs in town for just over forty-one years. Sadly, the restaurant closed in 2017, due to the owner’s age and health problems.

Richard's Sandwich Shop in Five Points, for some thirty years offered the best Camel Riders* in town. Unfortunately, the owner sold the property and retired in 2016.

The Goal Post Sandwich Shop is located across the street from the complex that houses The Loop, and has been a fixture in the neighborhood for a very long time.

The Cool Moose Café has been serving breakfast and lunch to neighborhood residents for some twenty years.

The Loop Pizza Grill, home of the best grilled chicken sandwich in town and locally referred to simply as The Loop, began in Jacksonville in the late eighties, and has grown to several locations around town. The Avondale location, situated on Fishweir Creek, was popular for its deck, where one could sit and watch sea birds foraging in the tidal estuary while eating. Unfortunately, the entire complex was razed by developers in 2017, and replaced by apartments. The Loop moved to another location nearby, but that location, sadly, lacks a deck on the water.

*THE TERM Camel Rider might sound like a pejorative to some in today's politically correct society, but in Jacksonville—which has one of the largest Middle Eastern communities on the East Coast—it's the name of a sandwich offered at the numerous sandwich shops around town operated by people whose ancestors fled the economic decline and religious persecution of the Ottoman Empire. Predominately Christian, they came from Syria, Lebanon, and other parts of the Middle East and settled in Jacksonville during the early twentieth century and shortly before.

All of the sandwich shops offer sandwiches in a pocket of pita bread, and these sandwiches are called riders. The Camel Rider is a pita pocket stuffed with lettuce, slices of tomato, cheese, and cold cuts, with a bit of mustard and a dash of olive oil. The camel rider is a very simple, but amazingly satisfying sandwich.

Table of Contents

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

Chapter 37

Chapter 38

Chapter 39

Chapter 40

Chapter 41

Chapter 42

Afterword

About the author

Contact the author

Other books by Etienne

Bottoms Out

(About a Bottoms, Vol. 2)

Revised edition

Etienne

Prologue

West Bumfuck, AR

CHRIS BOTTOMS HAD undergone colorectal surgery, which left him wearing an ostomy bag. The surgeon who performed the procedure had accidentally cut a nerve, leaving Chris unable to relieve himself normally—he now has to catheterize himself to accomplish that simple task.

Chris and his partner Mickey O’Donovan have just journeyed to Arkansas to visit Chris’s mother, from whom he’d been estranged for more than half of his life. Chris agreed to make the trip only because his mother was on her deathbed. To his surprise, he learned that not only had his mother been sober for nearly eleven years, he had a half brother, who was nine, going on ten.

His mother asked Chris to take custody of his brother and raise him, and with Mickey’s enthusiastic consent, he’d agreed to do so. After his mother’s funeral, Chris and Mickey flew home to Florida, taking his brother Teddy with them.

Jacksonville, FL

AFTER TEDDY’S BAGS had been unpacked and his room organized, Chris and Mickey decided to take him to The Loop for a late supper, and the three of them sat on the deck for a long time, enjoying their food and getting better acquainted.

Teddy surprised them by saying, What should I call you guys?

That’s a good question, Chris said. I’m your brother, but I’ve also adopted you, so you can call me Chris, or you can call me Dad, if you like.

I never had a dad, Teddy said.

Don’t you remember him? Chris said.

I was real little when he left. Nobody stayed with Ma more than a couple of years. Some of them even less.

Our mother was nothing if not consistent, Chris thought. That was exactly the pattern of her life after my father died when I was Teddy’s age.

So what’s it going to be—Chris or Dad? Chris said.

I sort of like Papa, Teddy said. If it’s okay with you.

It’s fine with me, kiddo. What about you, Mickey?

Mickey will do, or Uncle Mickey, if Teddy likes that, Mickey said. That’s entirely up to him.

I’m not supposed to call grown-ups by their first names, so maybe I’ll call you Uncle Mickey.

That works for me, kiddo, Mickey said.

Do you guys have to go to work tomorrow? Teddy said.

I do, Mickey said, but Chris has a couple more days off.

What am I going to do? Teddy said.

I think I have an answer to that, Mickey said.

What? Teddy said.

The bank where I work has some sort of day care program for the children of people who work there. Technically, you’re not my kid, but you certainly qualify for the program. I’ll check into it in the morning.

And I’ll talk to some friends of ours who have kids, Chris said.

How many of them are there? Teddy said.

We know three couples who have sons. One of the boys is close to your age, and the others are maybe a year or two younger than you. We’ll figure something out, don’t worry.

Okay, Teddy said. Can we go home now? I’m kind of tired.

Now that you mention it, so am I, Chris said.

Me too, Mickey said.

When they returned home, Teddy took a shower and dressed for bed. He was out like a light almost as soon as his head hit the pillow. Chris and Mickey stepped into their shower together for a few minutes, then toweled themselves dry while standing in front of the vanity mirror as usual. They dressed in boxers and tees, went to the porch just off their second-floor master bedroom and settled down in the swing, wineglasses in hand. They sat quietly for a long time, sipping their wine.

Finally, Chris said, Can I ask you a question?

Sure you can. What’s the question?

Simply this—what the fuck do we do now?

Chapter 1

Jacksonville, FL

WHAT DO WE DO about what? Mickey said.

Chris pointed in the general direction of Teddy’s room.

Oh, that, Mickey said.

Yes, that. When it comes to raising a child, neither of us knows shit about shit.

Neither do brand-new parents who’ve just had a baby. They learn on the job, so to speak, and so will we.

You make it sound so easy, Chris said.

Babe! I know it isn’t going to be easy, but I think it’ll be fun.

I’ll hold you to that and remind you of it from time to time when the going gets rough.

Christopher Bottoms! Are you having second thoughts about this? Because if you are, it’s way too late for that.

Of course not. Teddy is my brother—well, half brother, if you must. I fully intend to see that he has a better chance at life than I did at his age.

That’s a good attitude, Mickey said, as long as you don’t go overboard and spoil him.

Yeah. We need to make a list.

A list of what?

Things we need to do and/or buy. You know—find a school; buy school supplies; Grandma said that he needs clothes, and I agree. He’ll need a computer, and—

Mickey put a finger to Chris’s lips to silence him. We’ll deal with that in the morning.

"Mickey! We won’t be here in the morning. You’ll go to work, and I’ll have to deal with things."

And you’ll deal with them just fine. Why don’t you take Teddy for a ride and show him the neighborhood? Maybe even go to the beach?

I can’t go to the beach with him by myself, Chris said.

Why not?

Because I wouldn’t be able to run into the surf after him, that’s why. Did you forget this ugly bag I have hanging from my belly?

You’re a nurse, Chris. Surely, there are ways to swim while wearing an ostomy bag.

Yeah. Now that you mention it, I think there are.

Then do a little research and find out, Mickey said. Why don’t we take him to the beach this weekend.

Whatever, Chris said, clearly anxious to end the conversation. It’s been a long and exhausting day, Mickey, can we go to bed now?

No argument there. Let’s.

They undressed for bed and settled into their favorite position for sleep, too tired to consider other possibilities. They were awakened the next morning when Teddy wandered into their bedroom.

I’m hungry, he said.

Go down to the kitchen, Chris said. I’ll be there in a minute. Do you like cereal?

Yes, Sir.

Okay. There are two or three kinds of cereal in one of the cupboards and milk in the fridge. As soon as I’m through in the bathroom, I’ll be down.

I’ll go downstairs with him now, Mickey said, then pulled the covers back on his side of the bed and stood up.

Teddy’s eyes widened just a bit at that.

What’s the matter, kiddo? Mickey said. Haven’t you ever seen anybody sleep naked before?

Yes, Sir. Most of Ma’s boyfriends did that, but I wasn’t allowed in the bedroom.

If you weren’t allowed in the bedroom, how do you know they slept naked? Chris said.

They weren’t very careful about closing the door.

Oh fuck! Chris thought. I wonder what else they weren’t careful about?

Mickey retrieved a robe from their closet, donned it, and tied it around his waist. Come on, Teddy, he said. Let’s go see about breakfast.

When he heard Mickey and Teddy’s feet on the stairs, Chris got out of bed, grabbed a robe, and went to the bathroom to deal with his bodily needs. It took a while to first catheterize himself, then deal with the ostomy bag, but he eventually hurried down the stairs and found Mickey and Teddy at the kitchen table. Mickey had orange juice and coffee in front of him and was eating an apple. Teddy was happily dealing with orange juice and cereal.

We were hungry, so we didn’t wait for you, Mickey said.

I didn’t expect you to, Chris said.

Pour yourself a cup and have a seat, Mickey said.

Chris rounded up the same things Mickey had at his place and settled down at the table.

I was ready for this, he said between sips of coffee.

What’s on your agenda for this morning? Mickey said.

First things first—get Teddy enrolled in school.

Which school?

St. Mark’s Episcopal Day School, of course.

Why that school, and why ‘of course’?

Because it’s arguably one of the best in the city; because it’s right down the street in Ortega; and because the kids of all our friends go there.

Sounds good to me. What if they don’t have an opening?

Then we’ll come up with plan B.

Since you’ve got things under control, I’m going to go get dressed for work.

Have at it, and don’t forget to inquire about day care.

Will do, Mickey said, and headed for the stairs.

Chapter 2

Jacksonville, FL

CHRIS SAT FOR a few minutes finishing his breakfast, while Teddy sat across the table looking expectantly at him.

See that yellow pad and pen over there on the counter, Teddy? Chris said.

Sure.

Why don’t you bring it to me, and we’ll make a shopping list.

Okay.

Teddy retrieved the pad and pen and handed them to Chris.

All right, then, Chris said. Let’s start with what you like for breakfast and go from there.

Chris quickly learned that Teddy had several food likes but no particular dislikes other than liver, which he despised.

Guess what? Chris said when he heard that.

What?

I don’t like liver either. It looks so nasty and slimy sitting there in the meat counter.

Teddy giggled at the image. Grandma says it’s good for you.

And she’s correct, but that doesn’t mean we have to like it.

Are you going to buy some when we go to the store?

Absolutely not. There are a lot of other foods that are just as good for you.

Good, Teddy said.

Chris completed his shopping list. Teddy, why don’t you watch TV in the library while I go upstairs and get ready?

Okay.

We don’t have all of the channels that are available, but there are a couple of them that have cartoons.

What about the Cartoon Network? Do we have it?

I think so. Let’s go have a look at the TV guide.

Chris went into the library and turned on the television. He called up the online guide and said, There’s what we have available, and the Cartoon Network is one of the channels we get.

What about Paula Deen? Do we have the Food Network?

We sure do, kiddo. Do you like her program?

Yes, Sir. I love to listen to her talk and watch her cook.

Good for you.

With Teddy settled down in the library watching television, Chris went upstairs to dress for the day. I showered last night, so I’ll bypass my morning shower, but I do need a shave, he thought. That taken care of, he dressed in shorts and a polo shirt, slipped into a pair of deck shoes and started to head downstairs, then remembered something that he needed to do, so he went into the upstairs den and made a phone call.

When he was downstairs, he walked into the library and said, Ready to go, kiddo?

Yes, Sir. Teddy got up and headed for the door.

You forgot something, Teddy.

What’s that?

When you leave the room you turn off the television.

Okay. Teddy found the remote and clicked the TV off. Ma always left it running.

Yeah, but that wastes electricity, and we don’t do that in this house.

Yes, Sir.

Good boy. Now we can go.

Chris led Teddy to the garage, and when his brother saw Mabel his eyes widened. It’s a Mustang, he said.

"It’s not just a Mustang; it’s a vintage Mustang from 1968, and her name is Mabel."

That’s cool, Teddy said. She looks like she’s brand-new.

That’s because I’ve worked very hard to get her that way and keep her that way. Let’s go. Their first stop was a lengthy visit to Publix, and as they walked through the aisles, Chris began to get a better feel for Teddy’s likes. He spotted a number of things that he hadn’t thought to ask about when he’d prepared his shopping list. Okay, kiddo, that’s it, he said. Let’s head for the checkout lines.

TEDDY HELPED CHRIS bring in the groceries and waited patiently in the kitchen while they were stowed in their proper places.

Chris had an inspiration and said, Teddy, do you know how to use a computer?

Sure. We had them in school.

Good. I think our next visit will be to one of the electronics stores.

Does that mean I’m gonna have a computer?

Sure.

Thanks, Chris, I mean Papa. Teddy grabbed Chris and hugged him fiercely.

You’re welcome, kiddo. I don’t see how a kid can get through school these days without a computer.

Chris’s search for a computer took them across town to the Regency Square Mall area and a nearby Best Buy outlet, where he had a lengthy conversation with a clerk on the topic of desktop machines versus laptops for kids. He finally settled on a desktop computer, complete with a flat screen monitor. They loaded the items into Mabel’s trunk, and when Chris was behind the wheel he pointed her west.

As they passed through downtown, Chris detoured to the heart of the business district until he came to Mickey’s building.

That’s where Mickey works, he said, pointing.

Wow! That’s a tall building, Teddy said.

One of the tallest in the city.

And you work at a hospital, right?

Yes, I do. We’d stop by it on the way home, but the clock on Mabel’s dash tells me that it’s time for lunch, so we’re going to stop somewhere else first.

Okay.

Chris pulled into the parking lot at Richard’s Sandwich Shop and led Teddy inside, where he ordered two Camel Riders, Sprite, and iced tea. When the order was ready, he carried it to a table.

What’s a Camel Rider? Teddy said.

It’s a pita pocket with lettuce, tomato, cold cuts and sliced cheese. Richard’s makes the best Camel Riders in town. Give it a try, why don’t you?

Okay.

Teddy picked up the pita pocket and took a generous bite from it. He chewed for a while, swallowed, then said, That was good.

It’s one of my favorites.

They finished their sandwiches, and Teddy said, Are we going to the hospital now?

We’ll do that another time. Right now, we need to take your new computer home and set it inside the house. Then we’ll hook up my little utility trailer and go buy you a desk.

I didn’t see a trailer.

"That’s because it’s on the other side of the garage covered up with a tarpaulin. I bought it when Mickey