Perpetual Palpitation

Clear!

The Woman’s body jumped with the charge of electricity. Listening for her pulse the erratic nature told her that she was still in v-fib.

The procedure had been standard in every way. Post op went well and showed promise.

Clear she yelled again using more current, trying to get this woman’s heart back into a normal rhythm.

This time the heart stopped, she waited for it to start again. The angry looking wound between the woman’s breasts told the tale of the recent surgery. Juliet thought about cutting her open again but she knew the woman was just too fragile.

A pulse was heard, then another. Normal sinus rhythm returned as the crowd caring for her breathed a collective sigh of relief. This was the third time in as many days that she had coded out.

Leaving the woman in ICU, she returned to her office to find more stacks of forms and regulations to read over and sign.

Saving lives was one thing but this administrative stuff was for the birds. Trying to concentrate on the paper work was no use. She had been up for 14 hours straight, living on Red Bull trying to be there for this woman, who she had previously worked on.

The family of the patient had witnessed her valiant attempts to save their mother. This last time was the tipping point for them. Going to the administrator, they ask him for the form to stop the attempts if her heart failed again.

Juliet had no sooner dozed off when the Code Blue alarm went off again.

Rushing back to the ICU, she came into the room where the family was around her.

What the hell are you people doing, get out of my way! She said making her way to her patient.

The family stepped aside as Dr. Stein pulled out her stethoscope while looking at the monitors.

Grabbing the defibrillator, she turned to see her nurses stopping her. Pointing at the patient’s wrist was a bright purple band with the letters DNR on it!

You have got to be fucking kidding me, let me do this!

Pushing her away, the monitor went steady.

Tears stung her cheeks as she stood there with the charged paddles in her hands.

Why? She asked.

It appeared to the staff that she was more upset than the woman’s family.

Call it Dr., A nurse said.

Looking up at the nurse through her tears and then the clock she looked back at her nurse, Time of Death 23:18.

Putting the paddles down, she could not look at the family. Leaving the ICU the administrator caught up with her.

You can’t save them all Dr.

No, not if the fucking laws prevent me from it!

You are upset; you need to get away from here.

Blair, why the fuck didn’t you talk them out of that DNR?

Dr. the woman was old; she was 75 and had lived a good life. You tried but they thought that it was cruel to keep shocking her!"

They are morons and have no fucking clue! They probably just wanted her money Blair!

You don’t know that, I am calling in a substitute for you Dr. After tomorrow morning, you can ignore your phone and pager. You need to get some objectivity back!

Blair if that were your mother would you be saying this to me?

Dr. Stein, you are good, probably one of the best in the country. If that were my mother, I would want you there in her corner. It is their mom and yes I know the Van Buran’s are wealthy but, the laws are what they are, and they exercised them.

It fucking sucks!

Handing Blair her phone and pager. I am out of here for a while as you suggested. I am too damned tired to be of any use tonight anyway. Send them to Jacksonville if it is a cardio matter.

Dr. Stein, I am not your enemy. I run the hospital and part of my job is to see to it that all are represented.

Blair, she did not sign a DNR. She had several good years left in her to love her grandchildren, or family.

She did sign a medical proxy, now she is gone and you should try to forget it.

Blair I do not remember the successes, only the failures. This will haunt me."

Go home! I don’t want to see you back here this month!

Ok Blair, that is your call. I have been up for many hours; it is possible that my judgment is clouded.

I hear that they are trying to put a race together to England, maybe you should look into it.

I don’t know about that but, if you need me, well don’t, because where I will be where there is no phone service.

Dr. Stein, I am sorry she did not make it.

Me too Blair, Me too!

Line

You're new around here?

Am I, What brings a good looking gal like you to a cheap gin joint like this? I ask with a chuckle.

"Did that line actually ever work?

I don’t know, I guess it did, you are talking with me, hi my name is Ben.

Hello Ben, I am Juliet, I suppose it did just work.

Is your drink still good or can I get you one?

It’s good for the moment Ben, but you are new around here. She said.

Yes, I am new; I just rented a place up the street until I find a house. Are you a local?

Since I was born, right here in Fernandina Beach. What brings you here Ben?

The story is long and tedious Juliet; I won’t torture you with it. The Cliff Note version is that I am starting fresh, new life, new aspirations, and new adventures.

Ben, that sounds like it is not boring.

Maybe, but right now I am more interested in you, what brings you here?

I work at the hospital in town; I spent days with this woman trying to save her life, and she did not make it.

I am sorry to hear it, something you did wrong?

No, I don’t think so. The review board will look at the details, but she just lost the will to live.

What do you do?

Heart surgeon Ben, all matters of the heart except love, at that, no dice!

Ordering a round of drinks we both sat there quietly as the band played some old tunes from years gone by.

Have you had any luck with the house hunt?

I am supposed to look at one on Fletcher Ave tomorrow. It has been vacant for a while; something about it being haunted I am told.

I know that house; it is a great house, right off the water.

Is it worth the money?

If you have it to spare, it is worth it.

I don’t want to paint the wrong picture of myself Juliet, but right now money is the least of my worries.

Are you dying Ben?

No, nothing like that.

Then you are not that bad off!

I guess if you put it into that perspective I am not, tell me about the house.

Two stories, lots of rooms, ocean front property, beautiful place.

You sound like you know it well.

I grew up here, when you grow up in a place like this, you find out who owns what, and make friends with the right kids.

Husband, kids?

No, my work made marriage a bad idea, if I have to choose, it is my job. You?

The long story is basically the same, I am a writer, I sold my company and chucked a marriage of 25 years, or it chucked me, and I am starting over. The daughter is mad at me but, I had enough.

Whoa, sold your company, left a marriage that I assume you had during the building of said company and now your kid is pissed?

Yes, that sums it up.

How did you find this place?

I got in the car and drove Juliet. From the west coast, I headed east with no particular destination in mind. Juliet, I ran out of road!

Juliet started laughing as if she had never laughed before, Ben, let me buy you a drink; that is the best story I have ever heard.

It does sound kind of foolish when you tell it.

I don’t think it is foolish at all, you had time to think, you are here, and now you want roots.

My passion is writing. I put it all on the back burner forming my company. You as a doctor must appreciate the hours on end you put into something like that. You sacrifice everything to make it work and then what happens; your partner decides to cheat. I guess it is my fault. I should have been there.

I am sorry Ben that must have hurt.

I don’t know about you, but men, at least this man, are driven by work, it is who we are and what we do. We identify with our successes and yes our failures. I failed at marriage, and now some younger guy is going to get half my company, my ex-wife and probably my home in LA!

If she cheated on you Ben, she might very well do it with him.

He will probably not live at the office, or sleep on the couch at the office; because he worked too late.

Tell me about your new passion?

It’s not new; it has been dusted off. I am looking for a quiet place that I can pull out my laptop and bring my characters to life.

That house is the place for you Ben. When your daughter gets over herself; she can come out and appreciate some Southern Charm.

The culture here is radically different than LA.

Slower laid back and yes, lots of older folks which; keep someone in my line of work busy.

Do you ever take time off?

I schedule it, but it hardly happens unless something like this happens, then I take time away from it for a while.

Come look at the house with me; you can see if it as you remember it as it was.

She looked at me out of the side of her eye thinking about it.

I must be losing my mind, here, here is my card, call me tomorrow and let me know when.

Handing her a card I wrote my new cell number on it. Juliet, I don’t know what kind of guy that is that would seriously use a line like that, I am not that kind of guy, if you change your mind in the morning light, I will understand.

Ben, I won’t change my mind. I can read people pretty well, see you tomorrow. She said as she got up to leave.

Ok, what have I just done? My divorce just was finalized, and I am making a date with a woman that I met in a bar. How do I know she is really who she said she was. Oh wait; here is her card, Dr.J. Stien

Morning Light

Seagulls calling woke me. Living in the city most of my life, this was a change of pace for me. I left the windows open last night to let in the ocean breezes. Renting a house on the beach was paramount to the decision to buy. The house in question was a spacious house with a pool, three-car garage and a small modicum of privacy should I decide to use the pool as nature intended.

Dressing in shorts and t-shirt, a run on the beach was my first order of business. Clearing my head from the smoke and drinks from last night, I needed a plan. The sooner I get situated into a new place the faster I can release my characters on the world. Will they be lovers or murderers, good guys or villains? The house today is supposed to be haunted; will ghost be in my story?

Street construction near the rental house was a mess. The tourist season was over, and now the city went about repairing the streets complete with the jackhammer and odors of hot tar. This rental was a week at a time, not cheap for being an off-season, but it was furnished, and for the price, beat staying at the Ritz.

Making my way down the beach, I had worked up a sweat. My shirt was damp as trickles of perspiration made their way down my legs. This humidity is going to take some getting used to.

Walking back toward the house a red-headed woman in a diaphanous cover up came into view. Trim figure and somehow seemed familiar.

Getting closer I recognized her smile, Dr. Stein, are you following me or is this a coincidence? I asked.

The later I am afraid, good morning Ben, did you sleep well?

Yes, I left the house open last night, the air off the water made it pleasant. Do you live around here?

I have a small apartment in town.

I know you preach healthy living to your patients; I see that you practice it too.

Not so much for the healthy aspect I am afraid, I need this to clear my head and think.

Think, you sound like me when I am figuring out what my characters are up to.

For me, I replay the events of surgery or a patient through my mind, did I do everything correctly? What should I have done differently if anything?

So you beat yourself up?

Juliet looked at me for a moment as if she was formulating an argument when she admitted, I guess that I am, what should I do about it doctor? she asked me.

In my line of work, no surprise is a good one; I suspect the same applies for you. I do the best that I can, learn from my mistakes and move on, you must. Now as far as the advice, I need to eat breakfast, have you eaten yet?

Mr. Conner, I have not eaten as of yet, are you sure you want to bring someone as damaged as I am into your life?

Juliet, I suspect that we are all damaged in one way or another, you are here now with me; I don’t believe in Accidents so I for one am going to go with it.

You don’t believe in fate?

I think everything happens for a reason, and I really don’t like eating alone.

My car is up there at the inn, let me move it to your cottage, where is it.

If you don’t mind a sweaty person in your car with you, I will go with you.

It will be two sweaty people, and I have towels.

Are we cooking or going out? She asked.

Do you have a preference?

Unless you took the time to learn to cook, I suggest we go out. She said.

We can’t very well go out like this?

I have a change of clothes in my bag, in my line of work I never know when I am going to be spending the night at the hospital.

Walking into the rental, the sea breeze had the curtains dancing on the winds. The house was immaculate with only my laptop and some research material on the table.

Have you started a project? She asked.

I am doing some research to decide if I want to write a murder mystery or romance or science fiction.

Are you that versed that you can just choose one?

Her question took me off guard. If I said yes, was I bragging?

That is just it isn’t Juliet, the characters have not told me what they want to do yet, I said with a smile.

She laughed at my answer knowing I dodged her question.

There are two bathrooms; since it is a rental, they are both furnished.

Ben, we are both adults, would you think badly of me if I ask you to scrub my back?

No Juliet I would not think badly of you, so we are going to jump in, not knowing how deep the water is?

What would your character do? She asked while closing the gap between us.

Wrapping her arms around my neck pulling me close to her, the passion in her kiss was unlike anything that I remembered. Electricity seems to have passed between our bodies as we embraced.

The sweat-laden clothing landed on the floor, intermingled in a pile.

Spending time in the shower, until the water was cold, we spent much more in tangled sheets and small talk. She pricked my heart allowing me to see that my bitterness towards my wife was just making me sick. She was right; my anger often turned inward acting like a poison that was killing me.

We laid there talking about anything and nothing when on cue, our stomachs made the same sounds as if they were calling in a to-go order of food!

Laughing at the sounds, her smile lit up the room.

That was your first time with another woman, wasn’t it?

Moisture filled my eyes as I admitted that she was indeed the second woman in my life.

I am sad for you, and happy for me Ben Conner, this, what we did, I don’t do. You disarm me Ben, and I think that is a good thing.

Thanks, Juliet; I hope I did not disappoint you.

You didn’t.

She knew things about me that I did not know. She was outside my forest of confusion and anger and could clearly see things that the foliage of life had obscured my objectivity.

Do you think the water has warmed back up? I asked her.

Do you want to chance another shower with me?

Lady, if I have to bathe in ice cubes, you would be worth it.

Now that line I like, come then.

The House

Lunch lasted much longer than we both anticipated. My phone rang; it was the realtor.

Mr. Conner, did you change your mind?

No Sally, I got tied up, you are not that far away, I can be there in just a few moments.

It is ok Mr. Conner, I have been in conversation with the bank today, I think I will have a pleasant surprise for you.

Ok Sally, see you shortly.

Still up for looking at property with me?

Juliet smiled at me before answering, Ben, I think I had better go along, I know Sally.

What does that mean?

Ben, let’s just say that I am in your corner. She said.

Juliet was watching me walk while Sally talked with me. I was looking at the house, and she was staring at me. I could just about feel her eyes watching me. What had I started with a corny pickup line….?

Now it was my turn to watch her. Some memory was replaying in her head as she walked into the sunroom. I could tell that she was not there, in that moment, but somewhere else.

Sally was prattling on about the pool equipment when I stopped her.

Sally, can I have a minute with my friend here?

She looked at me with a puzzled look and then walked out on the veranda.

Juliet, what is going on, where were you just then?

I got lost in an old memory; I think what she is telling you is the truth.

Ok, was it a good memory?

She looked at me and smiled. If you buy this house maybe, we can make a good memory instead."

Sally walked back in looking at the two of us, will you and Dr. Stein be buying this together? She asked now meddling for gossip.

No, I am new to town, she is a friend of mine. What is the bank's bottom dollar on this house?

You understand that it needs some repair work from the last storm. The bank is willing to take a loss rather than fix it first.

How much do you think it would cost to repair the damages?

Get your own prices Mr. Conner. The last people that were looking at it said about thirty thousand to put everything right again.

Juliet, do you know any good contractors?

She looked at me and smiled, Don’t let the damage trouble you, Ben, if you like the house, do the deal.

You heard her Sally, write it up.

Really? That is great; this is going to be such a lovely property once you finish with it.

I was hoping for turnkey, but I would be a fool to pass on this I think.

Well great then, I will see you at the Bank and we can wrap this up.

How long till we can close?

The bank is interested in getting someone in here to repair it; I would think we could get you access to it pretty quickly.

Good, see you tomorrow then.

Do I need to arrange the financing for you?

No, I will have the funds wired.

Perfect then, have a good day!

Locking the house Sally left leaving us to stand there. Did I get a deal?

I think so; the family that lived here when I was young was good to me.

Oh, how so?

Mom worked a lot, and Dad was never around, unlike you, he was a drunk. I can sympathize a little with your daughter. The difference of course is, my mother had to work to keep a roof over our heads.

You spent time here?

Yes, I had a thing for their son. We were young; they were rich, and we were not.

What happened with the Son?

He joined the military and did not come back. IED took him out and several of his buddies.

I am sorry, so you never married?

No, came close once, but my job got in the way. It is a pretty day, do you have plans?

It would seem that I am captivated by a lovely lady, and I am not in any hurry to leave her.

Do you sail?

Never been on one, I have interests, however.

Today is your lucky day Ben Conner; it is my weakness and escape from my world. Let’s stop by the store and buy a few things to eat.

Wine, cheese, and grapes along with some deli meat and bread was on the menu. Heading for the marina, we stopped in by her apartment to get a few things. She lived close to the hospital in a small apartment that a student might have. As a surgeon, I rather expected she would live better, but she seemed rather pragmatic when it came to living. Driving up to the Marina, we parked close to a 36-foot sailboat.

This is my weakness Ben; I hope you don’t get seasick.

I hope so too, that would make for a lousy first day spent together.

Ben, our morning has been superb, this morning when I ask you about how many people you had been with, I was out of line, but I was happy just the same.

Because I am not a player."

She looked at me wondering how I even knew that word, I am a writer. I offered before she explained herself. Laughing at herself and a little at me; I knew that you were not a player. I have been hit on by more of those than I can count.

What gave me away?

That line, I loved it by the way, clearly not original.

I meant it as humor, but I get you.

The diesel engine started up before she cast off the last line. "Just lay low and