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    This Life
    This Life
    This Life
    Ebook104 pages1 hour

    This Life

    By Edith Polski

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    About this ebook

    "For most of my life I was searching for something outside myself. I was hoping for better things to come... This caused a feeling of longing for something that never came... a feeling of general dissatisfaction within me that would never go away."

    The story of one woman's search for meaning, told with refreshing directness and honesty. Spiritually adrift in post-war Germany, Edith Polski strikes out for the New World before eventually settling on Australia's East Coast. Along the way she survives marriage, a child and divorce; car accidents, hardships and suicide attempts. Ultimately, her search takes her within herself, via meditation and hypnotherapy, to revelations of past lives. The insights of these experiences allow Edith, finally, to find some inner peace.

    "It is of no importance to me whether people believe this or not. Suffice it to say that it explains and answers my questions."
    - Edith Polski

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherPaper Horse Design & Publishing
    Release dateOct 18, 2016
    ISBN9781370822317
    This Life

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      Book preview

      This Life - Edith Polski

      This Life

      Edith Polski

      Published by Edith Polski at Smashwords

      Copyright Edith Polski 2016

      All rights reserved

      A print edition of this book is available at most online retailers.

      Cataloguing-in-Publication details are available from the National Library of Australia

      www.trove.nla.gov.au

      ISBN 9780646934372 (paperback)

      ISBN 9781370822317 (ebook)

      Design by Paper Horse Design & Publishing

      www.paperhorsedesign.com.au

      Cover: Kuehrstedter Wald, 1980, photograph by the author

      Table of Contents

      1. Restless

      2. Changes

      3. The Breakthrough Light Was on its Way

      4. New Lessons

      5. Professional Advice

      6. Working Out with Meditations

      7. Some of My Past Life Experiences

      8. Living in the Bush

      9. More Past Life Regressions

      10. Insights into Past Lives’ lessons

      11. Past Life Regressions, continued

      12. Insights into My Past Lives

      13. Leaving the Bush

      14. Visions

      15. My search brought results

      Desiderata

      References

      Acknowledgements

      Some Poetry

      About the Author

      1. Restless

      For most of my life I was searching for something outside myself. I was hoping for better things to come: expecting people to be different, and had illusions about how things were supposed to be. This caused a feeling of longing for something that never came. This caused frustration; a feeling of general dissatisfaction within me that would never go away.

      I wanted beautiful surroundings, dreamt of living in an elegant home, wearing fashionable clothes. I wanted to be beautiful, as I saw myself as ugly and fat. I had very low self-esteem. Any praise received I cast off as flattery, and trusted no one who tried to make me realise that I looked good.

      When a decision had to be made I would ask close friends what they would do in my situation. Their attempts to help me increased my insecurity and confused me even more. These were nightmarish times, when I felt helpless, but somehow always got out of them. In the company of strangers, I was withdrawn and timid, as I was afraid to say something wrong, or that someone would laugh at me. It was difficult for me to enjoy myself, unless I had had a glass of wine or two, then I would loosen up. Music, also, would lighten my mood.

      But nothing really fulfilled me. There was something missing in my life. I was searching but did not know for what. I knew from inside of me that there was more to life than I was living and experiencing. My belief was limited. I could not believe in God, or the Bible, as no one could tell me who had written the first page of it. Who had been the witness to see God creating the world and Adam and Eve?

      But I knew for certain and strongly believed that there was a greater power than man. I called it Nature. Nature was stronger than any human construction. Its power was awesome: it could strike with unstoppable might and was to be respected, even feared.

      I don’t remember having any special dreams, then, and probably wouldn’t have made much of it if I did, as I just didn’t concern myself with esoteric matters. No one I knew ever talked about these matters. Or wasn’t I listening?

      The material world with its ups and downs was all around me. I lived as happily and as well as I knew how. I had been brought up with moral guidelines, chiefly the Ten Commandments, which kept me safe within my limited circle of family, friends and work colleagues. Aspirations for higher learning had been stifled long ago. The daily duties at work and home consumed all strength and time. There were no dreams, just a silent longing for something. But what?

      This longing created an emptiness within, a feeling of loss in situations when problems arose. Who was I to turn to? Who would give support, encouragement? Who was to be trusted with my most secret inner needs? The feeling of standing alone in front of a mountain of problems, where I could see no way out, sent me to despair and hopeless unhappiness. Days like that were draining all my energy, crying myself to sleep, but life went on. Most times I found a solution overnight, never thinking that this solution might have come from a higher source.

      I was married but felt dissatisfied and unhappy in the relationship, overburdened with responsibilities, exhausted and frustrated. I felt misunderstood, misjudged and misinterpreted. I did defend myself, but mostly in anger, when I couldn’t see any other way. Before my anger erupted, I usually didn’t say anything, because I knew if I opened my mouth this would be misunderstood again. Communicating my thoughts wasn’t my strength. I had been accused too often of saying the wrong things at the wrong time, which made me reluctant to give my opinion freely, face to face.

      It was a big step when I finally moved out of the family home and started out on my own with my four-year-old daughter. Some of the responsibilities were still there. I had to work. I had to look after my child, but there was support available to me from my parents, my employer and also from new friends, who accepted me into their neighbourly circle. It was new to me to live in a harmonious atmosphere.

      But I still struggled for balance in my life, despite my new circle of friends. Loneliness and despair crept in at times when I could not see any use in living. So, one day, I tried to kill myself. Fortunately, my landlady found me in time and rushed me to hospital, where I could be saved.

      It was a long road back to normality before I found hope again. The pain I had caused to family and friends made me feel guilty, but their love and concern made me aware that life was worth living.

      Some time later, when the clouds had subsided, the opportunity arose, through my job, to fly to Rome for the day. That was an experience I would not forget easily. My first flight: I walked on the clouds, both actually and symbolically!

      Seeing Rome was a sensation, so unexpected but so very much appreciated. My boss had asked the secretary in the Rome office to take the day off and show me as many sights as was possible in the short time available.

      One of the representatives was driving the car through the seemingly unorganised traffic as fast as he could. It was a warm spring day, the 28th February, 1968. People were sitting on The Spanish Steps in the sun. The coffee shops had windows and doors wide open, where we drank coffee in tiny cups amidst big bags of unburned coffee beans. I threw coins into the Fontana di Trevi. These are still in there, promising that one day I might return. I saw many beautiful historic buildings and places, including the Vatican, and had a delicious typical Roman meal in a cosy restaurant.

      At the end of all the sightseeing, I bought a beautiful dress for my little girl before they rushed me back to the airport in the evening.

      It was breathtaking and very emotional to watch a sunset over Rome from the plane, and it brought tears to my eyes. I clung to the small bunch of violets

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