Burning the Midnight Oil Revisited

Contents

Copyright Page

Dedication

Introduction

Maggie Ball

Essay: Don’t Put That Writing Off!

Linda Carlson

Essay: 10 Misconceptions Keeping You from Having Time to Write

Shanta Everington

Essay: How a Writing Parent Can Survive Life in the Zone

Lee-Ann Graff-Vinson

Essay: The Benefits of Working from Home

M.L. John

Essay: How to Keep Writing When You’re Not Writing

Mary Potter Kenyon

Essay: Don’t Find Time to Write—Make Time to Write!

Dellani Oakes

Essay: Writing for Two

Mysti Linne

Essay: Write Right Now: 3 Reasons to Write Guilt-Free!

Laya Saul

Essay: So Much to Write, So Little Time to Write it All

Appendix: Resources

About the Author

Burning the Midnight Oil Revisited

How We Survive as Writing Parents

by

Dawn Colclasure

All rights reserved

Copyright © May 14, 2015, Dawn Colclasure

Cover Art Copyright © 2016, Charlotte Holley

Gypsy Shadow Publishing, LLC.

Lockhart, TX

www.gypsyshadow.com

Names, characters and incidents depicted in this book are products of the author’s imagination, or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental and beyond the intent of the author or the publisher.

No part of this book may be reproduced or shared by any electronic or mechanical means, including but not limited to printing, file sharing, and email, without prior written permission from Gypsy Shadow Publishing, LLC.

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

ISBN: 978-1-61950-261-1

Published in the United States of America

First eBook Edition: October 20, 2016

Dedication

This book is dedicated to all the writing parents out there who are burning the midnight oil—as well as waking up with the sun!

Introduction

Writing and parenting are probably two of the biggest challenges to manage in a writing parent’s life. You want to have time to write, but you also want to spend time with your kids. You want to get out there to promote your work, but you also want to make sure your young children are being cared for while you’re out.

Many writers who are parents can tell you just how hard it can be to accomplish those things, as well as a host of other responsibilities attached to their writing careers. But out of these stories will emerge the hard-learned lessons that helped them make it all work. Each of these professional writers have figured out just how to manage being a writer while also meeting their responsibilities as parents, and they’re here to tell you that, yes, it CAN be done! Many of these writers have been at it for years and understand the importance of both jobs.

If you are a writer who is also a parent and you are struggling with how to find time to write, this book will share ideas on how to make that happen. You’ll also get a chance to read about these parents’ ups and downs, both as parents and as writers. The interviews in this book will introduce you to 27 writing parents from around the world who have been there, done that and are ready to guide you on your quest to be a successful writing parent. The essays included are from the former newsletter, BTMO Book Zine, and will share with you my own experiences in trying to make this writing parent thing work. I have done it, they have done, and you can do it, too.

Dawn Colclasure

Eugene, OR

October 2014

Magdalena Ball

Flexibility and persistence is really the key.

Magdalena Ball is a novelist, poet, reviewer and interviewer, and is the editor of Compulsive Reader (http://www.compulsivereader.com/). She has been widely published in literary journals, anthologies, and online, and is the author of several published books of poetry and fiction, including most recently the novel Black Cow (Bewrite Books), and the poetry book Unmaking Atoms (forthcoming, Ginninderra Press). Her kids are 19, 16 and 13. Find out more at www.magdalenaball.com

How did you get started writing?

For me, writing was a natural progression from the reading process. I started reading around age 5 and almost simultaneously began using words on paper to express myself. I’ve always written poems (even as a young child), and published quite a few while in college. I actually had a very significant block, though, which began while I was doing my Ph.D. in literature (a very analytical topic which seemed to blunt my creativity). In the end, I left without getting my degree and ended up doing an MBA and using my writing talents for small scale competitions and well expressed, and possibly overtly literary, business memos. I started writing again while I was pregnant with my first child. The prospect of a life change coupled with the immensity of the creative force within me seemed to awaken that dormant need to express myself again. I took a few creative writing courses online and began to write poetry and short stories again. I didn’t end up leaving my job (I’m still there…), but as I began to get my work published when I realized that writing was more than a hobby for me.

What made you decide to pursue writing professionally?

There was a point when I guess I realized I was doing at least as much writing as anything else, and that I was able to earn money with writing, and that I could send out a query and get a job. I now generally call myself a professional, but that may be more wishful (or deliberately positive) thinking than reality since I still earn significantly more money from computing/corporate writing (though even that is all semantics) than anything I do in the creative writing arena. I’m hoping it continues to be a vocation rather than a job.

What has your experience as a parent taught you about yourself as a writer?

Flexibility and multiskilling! I am able to work under the most outrageous conditions; anywhere, and anytime I get the chance. Also that there is never an ideal time to write, so it has to be now.

What do your children think about your being a writer?

My oldest son likes the idea, and also calls himself a writer—he writes lots of stories (but hardly ever finishes them—his table of contents are awesome, though!). The other two don’t take much notice (except for the fact that, when I’m looking at my computer screen I’m not looking at them…)

How do you find the time to write?

Whenever and wherever I can, in small bits and pieces throughout the day (and sometimes night). With long projects like the novel, I would set small goals for each week and then open the piece and go back to it as much as possible throughout the day. Flexibility and persistence is really the key.

What was the hardest lesson you had to learn?

That my work doesn’t have to be as good as James Joyce’s (especially on the first draft!)

What do you think is the biggest challenge writing parents face in their quest to succeed as writers?

Time management is always an issue, since you can’t have a regular and consistent writing schedule as a parent of young (preschool-aged) children. The children will always have priority and so you sometimes just have to do what you can and not stress when you just can’t give a piece of work the time it is crying out for. Another major challenge is that networking, at least in person, is just not viable. You can’t attend seminars, writers conferences, stay for days in a quiet shack to finish that novel, or schmooze after giving a reading (I’ve been able to do a reading, but had to run out afterwards before everyone got shirty).

Can you share with me your most memorable experience as a writing parent?

I can’t remember a thing! Actually I won a mentorship for my novel from the Hunter Writers Group and my mentor wanted to get together to meet me one Sunday when my middle son had a birthday party to attend at a local McDonalds. I agreed to meet him there and we sat drinking coffee and juice and discussing this novel while ten 5-year-olds had a noisy party in the next room.

Have you asked for help during those days you can’t seem to get ANYTHING done? Has help been offered?

I don’t ask for help easily, which is a fault. I should just call my mother-in-law, who I’m sure would be willing to assist. I just tend to struggle through it.

How can writing parents take advantage of the Internet to promote themselves?

The Internet is ideal for writing parents. It is quick, doesn’t rely on the ability to have a lucid vocal conversation, and allows you to dip in and out as need be. I’m a serendipitous promoter—I subscribe to a number of newsletters for writing and when an opportunity to promote myself appears I jump on it immediately. I also have two websites which I use, among other things, to promote my nonfiction book, and will certainly use to promote my fiction once it is ready… in the meantime, I now have a mailing list of 5,000+ readers of literary fiction ready to go! Authors can sell their books worldwide through Internet bookstores like Amazon, can give online readings, can connect with readers, can create a fan letter, a community around the topics they write, can syndicate their articles (I do that, too), and much more, all without having to bundle up the children, get their shoes on, give them drinks, take them to the toilet and get them into the car (harder even than it sounds!).

What are some ways writing parents can handle certain obligations, such as attending readings and working with clients, when they’ve got small children in the home with them?

Obviously a supportive parent or spouse to help out with those occasions is a must (my husband brought and looked after the kids during an award reading I had), but otherwise, I think that the easiest thing is to rely on the phone (and, I’m afraid, make use of a portable DVD player when need be and bring your child/children along).

Do you feel that guilt often rears its ugly head?

Yes, especially when I’ve overused the television or DVDs to keep my 2-year-old occupied while I finished something critical.

What are some ways to cope with it?

Give them extra one-on-one time later to make up for it and also not to dwell too heavily—just move on (and definitely don’t make them suffer for your guilt!). We do the best we can!

Did you have to go through a series of trial and error to find the best way to get your writing time?

Not really—no time for trial and error. I just do whatever I can whenever I can. Planning, organization (I try to do an annual, monthly, and daily plans for the non-urgent, but important stuff like the novel, otherwise it won’t get done), and flexibility are key.

What do you feel are some common misconceptions writing parents have?

I think that perhaps other people around us have the misconception (which it is easy to take on board ourselves) that we should wait to write until the children are in school or older. That is a grave error, since writing is like any artistic skill and you only write well if you write frequently. If you stop for a lengthy period, it is often very difficult to get either the skill or the desire back again. Also, children don’t necessarily become less time intensive as they get older! School takes time and input if you are an involved parent, and children always need you. There is never an ideal time.

Do you feel that networking with other writing parents helps?

Yes, actually it does, although writing time is such a scarcity that networking has to take second place to actually writing. That said, I have gained significant advantage from networking in general (parents and non-parents) through the Internet and have used my friends for support, as ideal readers, as mentors, and even to provide references and contacts (and most of all, as cheerleaders… writing can be very solitary and it is easy to wonder if we are wasting time that we could otherwise spend being better parents or earning more money! My networks have been very supportive in this way, reminding me why I write.)

What has inspired you to keep going, despite it all?

I can’t seem to help it! I know that I can earn more money doing almost anything else, and I know that, with 3 children, there is always something else that needs my attention, but I still gravitate towards the work, the stories and articles still form in my head, and I just have to write.

What is your advice to writers?

Read! Read the best in whatever area you are working in. It’s the only way to develop a good writer’s ear (I’m a compulsive reader so it is easy advice for me to follow—harder for me to put the book down than to pick it up!). Also, the more you write the better you write, so just get in there and start typing—no matter how many excuses and fears you have to work through.

What is your advice to other writing parents?

No matter how much my writing means to me, and it means a lot, my children mean more. They have to come first. Don’t sweat it. If you are meant to write you’ll write, but if you end up playing Lego or dollhouse with your children instead of doing your daily writing exercise, you’ve still made a wonderful and permanent contribution to the world, and your work will ultimately reflect that (I’m definitely going to have Lego and a dollhouse in my next fiction)! Nothing that you do, even if you win the Nobel or the Man Booker prize, will ever matter as much as your children in both a micro and macro sense.

Frank Baron

Treasure your time with your children.

Frank P. Baron is a writer, fisherman and father of two sons who lives in Ontario, Canada. His work has appeared in regional and national magazines, newspapers and online venues. His humorous how-to book, What Fish Don’t Want You to Know, is published by Ragged Mountain Press/McGraw-Hill. Frank is enjoying semi-retirement living on the shores of a lake, every angler’s dream, and when not fishing, he spends much of his time studying and photographing wildlife, as well as constantly marveling at nature’s wonders. His sons are 32 and 26. He blogs sporadically and can be reached at fpbaron@gmail.com.

How did you get started writing?

When I was in elementary school in the 50s and 60s English was always divided into two components: Composition and Grammar. I liked the freedom afforded by Composition compared [to] the rigid structure of Grammar. I learned, somewhere around Grade 3 or 4, that I could make my teacher and classmates smile via my stories. I was hooked.

What made you decide to pursue writing professionally?

My Grade 11 English teacher was a wonderful man. He saw talent in me and encouraged it. He chose me to write weekly school reports for the local newspaper. The first time I saw a bylined column when I was 15, I decided that was it; I was a writer. I went on to get a University degree in Journalism and started freelancing to newspapers and magazines in my early 20s.

What has your experience as a parent taught you about yourself as a writer?

That kids are a goldmine of material.

What do your children think about your being a writer?

I think they’re proud of me for the most part but are occasionally (mildly) dismayed when I write about them. They also wish that my income was greater and less sporadic. I’m with them there.

How do you find the time to write?

I’ve settled into a morning routine now that my kids are older and away at work/school. I try to write new stuff, or polish the old from about 9 a.m. to noon. Early afternoon is for researching markets and sending. I average about 4-6 hours a day, six days a week, on writing-related chores. More when working on a big project or nearing a deadline; less if feeling lazy or I just cashed a decent check.

What was the hardest lesson you had to learn?

I suppose it was accepting the fact that I couldn’t succeed doing things all my