Discovery Series Bundle

Discovery Journals

J.M. Nash

Blue Ocean Books, LLC

Discovery Journals Copyright © 2014 J.M. Nash

First Edition

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher.

These books are works of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.

Acknowledgments:

––––––––

Editor: Rory (Lori) Ross

Rock Hill, South Carolina

FeatherandInkEditing@gmail.com

Cover Design:

Erin Miller

Erin Miller Photos

Erinmillerphotos@yahoo.com

R Gray Photography

www.rgrayphotography.com

Charlotte, North Carolina

K.P. Photography

https://www.facebook.com/pages/KP-Photography/1027454653934268

San Francisco, California

Dedications 

First off I just have to say what an incredible journey this has been. It’s been a year since I hit publish for the first time and this project began.

This journey wouldn’t be as exciting without the help of several wonderful people who I am so glad to call my friends.

Rory (Lori), yes you are my editor, but also a dear friend. Thank you for believing in me when I don’t believe in myself. Love you woman!

Dennie Deep and Kath Peterson... what can I say thank you for believing in Nix and Ansley and me. If not for you it may still be in holding area. LOL.  You ladies truly rock. Dennie, thank you for your incredible friendship. Kath, Thank you for your friendship and your ability to take pics and come up with some incredible pictures. I love you both.

Ebony McMillian... Thank you for taking a chance on an unknown author.  Thank you for your friendship! Love you!

Kylie Sharp...Thank you for friendship. Thank you for loving Nix before Nix was even really out there. Love you!

Lynessa James for your friendship and letting me borrow Jase for just a while. Thank you. Love you!

Last but not least, my readers. Without you I would have never started Nix and Ansley.  Thank you for your love and support. I wouldn’t be here without you!

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY!!!!

Disclaimer

We want this to look like an actual journal where people make mistakes.

Chapter 1

Fall 2004

Senior year

September 1st

Ansley

First day of hell. I hope my senior year flies by, and then maybe I won’t have to deal with these mean people ever again. Thank God I have three classes with Nix...I know he'll make them bearable.

Brandon Macaroy is in PE with me. Heaven help me. I may get hit in the head a few times. Captain of the football team. Not that he would ever look in my direction. No one ever does. I haven’t even been kissed. Well technically I have, I just haven’t been kissed. Nix laughs at me and tells me anytime I want to kiss him I can. EWWWW gross!!!! He’s nuts I swear.  He has made high school interesting to say the least.

During the summer he grew a freking freaking foot, all arms and legs. I used to be able to stand on my tip toes and kiss his cheek goodnight, but now it’s like he has to bend over. He has filled out quite a bit. Still dorky as hell though. Now he says he's all  dick, but I'm not going to touch that with a ten foot pole.

Good night silly world.

September 3rd

Nix

I'm glad Ansley came over to hang out, I'm fucking bored. She ended up watching movies while I slept though. I don't want to tell her I'll be moving away for college...I'm going to miss her but I need some adventure in my life. Now I need to figure out how to get rid of this damn hard-on....so ready to fuck anyone at this point.  I have to say that some of these chicks have really grown into their bodies this year...even the ugly ones are looking hot.....damn dick!

September 9th

Ansley

I have come to the realization high school just plain sucks! I hate this place. Mr. Shiver is a jerk correction an asshole. If my mom only knew how I really talked she would be appalled. She says a lady doesn’t use such language. But my brothers can do whatever the hell they want! What gives? Who knows, I think mom dreaded me from the word go. 

BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! That is the way I feel at the moment. I got teamed up with Captain Football and what a dipshit! Yeah, he’s great at football, but I really think he has been dropped on his head a time or two!

September 10th

Nix

FUCK!! FUCK!! FUCK!!  All I damn near think about is pussy. It's hard to concentrate in class without looking around at how short the skirts are and what is underneath.  How embarrassing to get called on in class and you haven't been paying attention. I would have thought I'd have the girls crawling all over me with how much I changed over the summer. I need to get rid of these damn glasses and the metal braces in my mouth. I'm still a fucking geek.

September 22nd

Ansley

If I have to hear one more time how much Nix has changed I may scream down the damn building. Don’t I know it? I saw the pecker head every day of summer.  What is it, he grows a foot and now these stupid girls want to know more? Bitches never talked to me before. Don’t get all buddy buddy with me just because you want to know more about my best friend. It doesn’t work that way. Why do I have a bad feeling this Nix is going to change? And I don’t mean in a good way.

Captain football caught me after class.....why? Because he wants me to tutor him. Really?? What about miss cheerleader, can’t she help your stupid ass!!! Ugh! Boys don’t look at me at all. Maybe if I didn't act like such a boy, then maybe. But why do I want to be so girly anyway? I will never understand. I'd rather get my fingernails dirty than play dress up with clothes.

September 24th

Nix

FUCK! I caught sight of Amber’s tits in gym. I nearly nutted right there. I really need to get this shit under control. Jacking off is really getting old....I need to find a chick to bang.  That's my homework now....

September 26th

Ansley

I swear if anyone else asks me if I am going to the dance with Nix I may kill someone. I don’t dance. I don’t do dances. Just the popular assholes go.  So when I say no, they act like I gave them a freaking gift. Fight over him I don’t care. He is just Nix.  Six foot three something Nix, but still my Nix.

Mom asked me if I needed to go shopping for a dress for the dance. When I said I am not going she seemed to get upset. Sorry mom!!

September 28th

Nix

I fucking whacked my head against the shower door. Don’t fucking ask! FML!  My goal, should I choose to accept it is to bang Amber after the dance.  Accept? Fuck yeah I accept!!  Maybe this dance will put me on the chick magnet map.

September 29th

Ansley

OMG! Can’t Nix ever shut up! I mean really! I don’t care if he finally got laid. I hate Amber. She is the one who made fun of me last year for not starting my period until high school. Fuck that stupid health teacher for making us talk about our personal shit!  Amber, the stupid bitch, asked, passed me by and said I bet you never even saw a dick before, huh? She even made fun of Nix and now he is fucking her. Fuck him. I am so pissed at him. He is changing and I don’t like it.

September 30th

Nix

Life couldn't be better! I finally got some pussy from Amber after the dance. Shit, she's got some sweet ass tits, and that pussy, I want to be buried there!  I'm gonna hit that repeatedly. 

Can't figure out why Ansley isn't talking to me. Oh well, she'll come around eventually. Maybe she needs to get laid...that shit makes you feel relaxed. She's been so damned uptight lately.

October 1st

Ansley

I don’t know what to do. Nix is distancing himself from me. What the fuck did I do? If it is Amber I am going to kick her ass. I mean really. I ask to see his fucking ass for a few hours on Saturday morning.  He said he had a running date. WHAT THE HELL!!! Really. I hope Amber gives his stupid ass the clap! Not really but I am pissed at him.

October 3rd

Nix

I pissed Ansley off. Oh well. I don't know what her problem is.  She's gotten boring lately. So I gave her a line about having a running date Saturday morning.  Amber though.... Amber wants to fuck all the time. Running date my ass, more like let’s fuck in the hay barn. Every morning before school.....that’s what I'm fucking talking about. Life Rocks!

October 4th

Ansley

Nix crawled in my window for the first time since the summer. Drunk and broken hearted. How do I console him, I mean really? Right now he is passed out on my floor drunk and it doesn’t help the fact that now I get to stay up and watch his stupid drunk self so that he doesn't puke on my floor. Thank God mom and dad went out of town for the weekend. They would just flip their lids if they knew Nix showed up drunk at my house.  Adin, Adam, and Andrew just shook their heads when I asked them for help.  They said Nix was my problem. Lotta good they are. If this would have been six months ago I could have easily moved him around, but now there is no way in hell I can.

October 6th

Nix

That cunt Amber fucked me over...caught her banging a guy from the football team last night. I crawled through Ansley's window drunk off my ass. I needed my best friend and knew she'd be home. She should have kicked my ass to the curb. God I can’t believe I fucking puked on her carpet. She was passed out cold when I snuck out of her room this morning. I don’t know if she will even talk to me. Fuck Amber. Fucking cuntbag. I need to figure out how to make it right with Ansley again.

October 12th

Ansley

Nix didn’t call all weekend. Chicken shit. He pukes all over my damn floor and leaves without a word. Asshat! I don’t even know why I try and be friends with the boy. He is out for himself and no one else. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Captain football called. He is failing math and if he doesn’t get his grades up he is benched. How in the hell is it now MY problem? Ugh!! I really don’t want to help him. He barely knows I am alive except for when he needs something. I should have said no, but he will be here in an hour or so. I think I need to start charging all these idiotic jocks for tutoring them. I really don’t know how they play football at all. My son would not be playing if he couldn’t keep his grades up.

October 15th

Nix

The guys called wanting to go to another frat party. Drunk college chicks? I'm in!! I had my pick of the litter at that party...so many fucking half naked drunk chicks and I ended up with the two hottest ones for a threesome! Damn, that was awesome...I remember the blonde one sucking me off while the other one sat on my face. I swear I didn't think she was going to stop cumming. Yeah, I'm doing that shit again!!

October 20th

Ansley

I heard mom and dad fighting about how to help me pay for college. Money is tight, so they aren't sure how they are going to help me pay for college. Since I'm the youngest out of the kids, I get screwed. Looks like I'm going to the community college while my brother gets to go to State. Can't I catch a break? I still haven’t heard from Nix. He passed me in the hall, but didn’t even register I existed.

I am not jealous of his stupid ass. He is going to get crabs if he isn’t careful. It took him all of 5 minutes to move on from Amber...and of all people...a stupid girl from a frat party he went to.  What is he becoming? A man whore? I really shouldn’t worry about his life. One day I am not going to be here.

New kid in school sits by me in English. He seems nice. I am sure he won’t even remember my name. His name is Kolton, but just like all the other guys, I will get overlooked because I am not girly enough. I am a great friend, but not dating material I guess. How's the saying go? Always a bridesmaid, never a bride Not that I want to get married...I just want a boyfriend, or better yet, I'd like to not be known as one of the guys. I can't help it that I grew up with all brothers and I like doing guy things.

October 27th

Nix

I can't believe how much my life has changed...that growth spurt really helped me out over the summer! Never thought I'd be fucking girls for fun. No strings attached, just the way I like it!

Damn, I haven't talked to Ansley in a week or so. Wonder what she's up to? Oh well, I'll catch up to her sometime...

November 2nd

Ansley

I am going on my first date with Kolton. He asked me last week if I wanted to go on a date this weekend. Then he asked if I would go to the Christmas ball in a few weeks. My first dance. I am 17 years old and I feel like a giddy 10 year old. I told mom I wanted to go shopping. She shot me down. So I guess I am going to go through my closet and find something. I really don’t have a lot of girlfriends that I can borrow clothes from.

Still haven't talked to Nix, he is tooooooo wrapped up in getting fucked I guess to call me. Oh well, I guess he will call when he needs something, that seems to be his normal now. Just because I am pissed at him doesn’t mean I won’t be here if he calls. I think he is changing and I am hoping he won’t change too much that he forgets who has been here all along. BLAH!

November 5th

Nix

I need to talk to Ansley about college so I went over and just stood outside her bedroom window. Just couldn't go in.  I think I've outgrown her. We're just in different places and we don't hang with the same groups of people anymore. Heather texted me to come over since her parents weren't home...fuck fest is on!!

November 9th

Ansley

I think I may be in love with Kolton. Yes we just had our first date, but still we had a blast. Mom and dad left for the weekend. After the dinner and the movie on Friday night, he came in and we watched movies until way too late. My brother didn’t care. He was too busy in his room with what’s her name. Well I think it was his girlfriend. Kolton called first thing on Saturday morning and wanted to know if I wanted to spend the day doing whatever we felt like. Which sounded great compared to the nothing I had planned for myself. 

Monday morning he was parked outside in my drive. He gave me a ride to school and one home. I am so freaking giddy.

November 13th

Nix

I went to Ansley's house Friday night.....Who the fuck is this little punk sitting on her couch? FUCK! I know I have no right, but that little shit better treat her right or I will beat his fucking ass. Time to start my weekend with some pussy...I scrolled through my contacts and picked out big tits Tonya....she was a fun ride for the weekend, that bitch will fuck non-stop yo!

November 17th

Ansley

Kolton and I are always together. Mom and dad seem to like him. YEAH me! I guess. We will see.  Nix finally approached me in the hall, but he wanted to know who the little fucker was that I had at my house. I told him to fuck off. I don’t  ask him about all the girls he is supposedly screwing so he can kiss my ass. I am so mad at him. For the first time in my life I don’t want to talk to him. I hope it burns when he pees!

November 20th

Nix

I don't know what the hell crawled up Ansley's ass, but she's been avoiding me lately and I don't like it.  I tried to ask her who that punk was at her house over the weekend and she told me to fuck off. I don't need her bullshit right now!

I wonder what Anika is doing right now...

November 23rd

Ansley

Week two of not talking to Nix! I will survive without him. Kolton is still great. Makes this week three. Friday night we are going out again. Then next week is the winter dance. Mom did finally take me to buy a new dress. I guess she does like Kolton.

November 27th

Nix

Why in the hell is Ansley avoiding me? Why won’t she take my phone calls? And today in the hall she gives me a 'go to hell' look.  I heard a rumor that little prick she's dating is trying to pop her cherry over a dare.  If that's the case, that little fucker will get more than he bargained for - my fist down his throat for starters! No one treats Ansley like a piece of meat.

Chapter 2

Winter 2004

December 4th

Ansley

OMG! I slept with Kolton! We went to a party after the dance. I didn’t get home until five in the morning. Parents were gone again and I asked Kolton to stay. I didn’t plan on sleeping with him, but I needed help out of my dress and one thing lead to another and we ended up in bed together. It definitely wasn't how I thought it would be the first time.  I hurt a little the next morning, but nothing like what I've heard from some of the girls.  I saw Nix at the dance and he tried to talk to me but I ignored him.  Why should I give that asshole the time of day? He has basically blown me off for weeks.

December 7th

Nix

I heard that little prick fucked Ansley.  I'm going to make sure he knows that if he fucks with her that he'll be sorry.  She deserves so much better than that punk Kolton. I keep trying to talk to her but she avoids me at all costs. It's really starting to piss me off! I will be here though when she needs me.  She's Ansley, MY Ansley, my best friend.  God, I sound like a fucking pussy. 

December 9th

Ansley

Kolton seems distant. WTH! I mean really what did I do? He didn’t call all weekend. By Monday morning it was all over school that I had slept with Kolton. Several guys whistled and I heard a couple of cat calls. Why do girls instantly become a slut and boys become studs?  Makes no sense to me. I guess this is what I get for thinking he really liked me....

Week three, I think, of not talking to Nix I really hope he is okay. I guess if he wasn’t he would show up drunk at my window.

December 10th

Nix

That pisshead Kolton had the nerve to come at me in the locker room boasting how he fucked Ansley and how good a lay she was.  Then he had the nerve to gloat over the fact that I've never fucked my best friend. Stupid move dickhead. I really held back on beating his ass for running his mouth. He'll get his soon enough though.

December 13th

Ansley

Kolton broke up with me. I feel like crap. He used me.  I have no one. I feel so alone. I want to call Nix, but why when he doesn’t care?  I mean really. FUCK MY LIFE! My first boyfriend wasn’t even my boyfriend. I can’t get the tears to stop. I can’t even tell my mom why I am crying. Damn Damn Damn!!!

December 17th

Nix

That little FUCKER! He broke up with her! I need to go over to see her. How do I fucking talk to her? I don't know what the fuck to say. I knew that goddamn rumor was true. Fuck I wish I could have stopped it!!

December 21st

Ansley

I can’t eat. I can’t sleep and I don’t even want to crawl out of bed. I am barely making it to school. I am a zombie at school.....I sit in class and don’t pay attention. I hurt and I just want the pain to stop. Why didn’t I listen to myself?

December 24th

Nix

Tomorrow is Christmas day. I plan to spend the rest of the break with Ansley. I need to help her. She's like a walking zombie at school. I'm not letting this break her down.  That mother fucker will be sorry he did this to my Ansley.

Winter 2005

January 2nd

Ansley

I finally answered Nix’s 15 millionth text. He seems to be the only person really worried that I am a fucked up mess. I finally agreed to let him come over. First night it was well after midnight Christmas night. I didn’t ask why he was coming over so late.  It wasn’t worth fighting with him and knowing the truth. We didn’t talk. He just climbed into bed and we just slept. I think I finally slept for the first time in weeks. Why are Nix’s arms so comforting to me? We are changing so much. I laugh because before he could barely wrap his arms around me and now he is like mammoth man and literally engulfs me.  I can’t embarrass his ass but his damn dick keeps pressing into my back and I just roll my eyes. Do all guys really always wake up this way? He told me he does now.  Don’t want to think about it. He kissed me on the cheek as he sneaks out at the break of dawn. My parents would kill him if they found him in my bed. He promised to back later. We will see. I think we will be okay, but in a different way.  I can hope... right?

January 7th

Nix

What the hell am I doing?  I’m going over to Ansley’s in the middle of the night to make sure she’s ok, but I end up with my body wrapped around hers? Why does that feel so damn good?  And to top that shit off, I wake up with a fucking raging hard on every damn time...I need to get my shit straight and make sure she’s ok before I do something I’ll regret. I’m so pissed that Ansley is fucked up over that asshole.  It’s time to take care of this little problem...

January 10th

Ansley

Back at school and I don’t feel like such an outcast. Kolton got his ass busted up. Not sure, he won’t spill his guts to anyone. I have a feeling I know who did it. Nix looked pretty busted up New Years’ Eve when he arrived at my house. He said don’t ask. I didn’t. I know why now. It’s okay. I think that is why everyone isn’t opening their mouths, too afraid of Nix. Hell I would be at this point. He can bench press me with one damn arm I think. We were walking in the cornfield last week right after it snowed and the asshole picked me up with one arm. I kicked and screamed for him to put me down but he just laughed and smacked my ass. Not light either. FUCKER! If he would have dropped me, I would have nailed him in the balls. When he finally put me down he looked at me weird...kinda like he was giving me that fuck me look.  WTH was all that about?

January 13th

Nix

I finally took care of that asshole Kolton.  He put up a fight, but I’m stronger and had a lot more pissed off anger behind me when I threw my punches.  No guys will be messing with Ans as long as I’m around.  All that gym time is paying off, shit I think I can pick up Ans with no trouble, and she’s not a twig like the chicks I usually hang with. Not that Ans is a big girl, but she’s got some curves. I took her for a walk in the cornfields and picked her up to carry her across the field caveman style, but she was giving me fits, so I smacked her ass, hard. Fuck, that felt good too, made my fucking dick twitch. Jesus, WTF am I saying? I’m talking about my best friend for fuck sake!  I need to find some pussy, and quick!  On another note, I need to tell her that I’m moving away for college. I’ve held back for too long.  Hope she takes it ok.

January 14th

Ansley

Unspoken rule between us. We don’t ask questions. We both have different lives right now. I am figuring out how to go to college, even with my straight A’s and a scholarship to the local community college. I don’t know what I am going to do after that. Nix finally told me he was jumping ship and leaving Kansas. I am sick at the thought, but I understand. He was never farm boy material. He really has no one. His parents don’t give a rats ass and have always just done what they wanted, leaving him to fend for himself. I remember when he was 10 they left money for him on the cabinet and said order food in. We will be back in a few days. He didn’t stay home. He came here. What kind of parents do that? Mine leave too but at least my older brothers were here. I have noticed during the week he is here and just gone on the weekends.  I don’t ask. I think for whatever reason this is our connection. I sleep better when he's in the bed and I'm all wrapped up in his arms. We have always slept better when the other is near. God life is really going to suck when he leaves.

January 17th

Nix

Telling Ans about my plans for college was almost as bad as getting my balls busted, Yeah, it’s a big fucking life changer for me. But I am so fucking ready for it.  I am so sick of cornfields and farmer bullshit - NOT.FOR.ME. I’m looking forward to beach babes and partying, but they also have a kick ass business department that I’m dying to get into.  Nervous and excited about moving out to Cali and away from my best friend. I guess that’s why I’ve been sleeping with Ans every night...it’s like she’s my comfort, my home.

January 20th

Ansley

Nix is freaking.......he thinks he knocked up college queen or that is what I like to call her. I told him that is what he gets for not covering his shit. He insists that he does, which I know he probably does, but still. I honestly have lost count of the number of girls he has fucked. I really don’t care. I keep telling him don’t come crawling to me when his dick falls off. 

Oh yeah Captain Football is begging for help, again! He even said he would bring dinner over weekly if I help him the rest of the year to keep his grades up. He wants to play at KU, but can’t if he doesn’t keep up his grades. I would prefer money, but hell food is food and I also told him that if he is going to keep coming to me for help that he has to quit being such a dick.  He looked at me a little shocked. He said big words for a little girl. Asshole. He showed up with food and has been decent even when miss bitch cheerleader started to speak nasty to me. He shut her down. I was seriously surprised he stuck up for me. Seems weird when he's been such a dick all year.  Guess he really wants me to help him. Whatever. It's not like I'm going to sleep with him. Went down that road with Kolton and look where that got me....broken hearted and alone. I'm good with just tutoring old jock strap.

January 27th

Nix

Chrissy thinks she’s pregnant...with MY kid. How the fuck can that be? I make sure I wrap my shit...EVERY TIME. I’m not ready to be a dad, fuck I don’t think I even want kids, EVVVERRRR. My parents definitely put me off wanting to have kids. If it’s the night I’m thinking about, I don’t know how it could be MY kid.  That was one kick ass sorority party! I was just about to bust a nut in her best friend’s mouth when she walked in the room. I thought she was going to be pissed until she started taking off her clothes and practically dove on my cock with her mouth. I may have been shit faced that night but I remember cumming hard down her throat. We all passed out shortly after that.  When we all woke up the next morning, she was getting gang banged by 3 dudes from the party the night before and there was NO FUCKING WAY I was sticking my dick in her pussy after seeing that shit.  If she keeps saying it’s mine, I’m making her have a damn DNA test done.

February 7th

Ansley

Valentines dance is this Friday. Nix said he would take me, but I declined. Captain Football asked. I said I would go as friends and if he tried anything else Nix would kick his ass. He has no problem with that. I think Nix was a little disappointed that he wouldn’t get to take me. I said if he was free for prom we would go. I won’t hold my breath, because life changes so much that he might actually hook up with a girl between now and then. LOL. For whatever reason people are treating me differently. Good in a way. People now say hi. Not sure if it is because of Nix or Captain Football. I am doing okay. Kolton finally apologized. After what happened no girl in the school will look at him. I think it is funny. Guess turnabout is fair play right. Karma is a bitch and you don’t fuck with it.

February 9th

Nix

Damn Valentine’s Day is coming up. I wanted to take Ans to the dance but she turned me down. I don’t want to ask any of the bitches I’ve been banging to go because then they’ll think we’re in a relationship. Fuck that. I’m sticking to my new motto: Find em. Fuck em. Forget em. 

Found out Ansley is going with the damn captain of the football team. WTF is up with that?  She always said she hated him...

February 13th

Ansley

My feet hurt after the dance. I lost my shoes somewhere during the night. I guess I will either find them in lost and found or someone hijacked them.  We stopped by my house for me to change and grab some different shoes. Barn dance continued after the dance. Never been and normally I don’t or should say I wouldn’t go, but Captain Football invited me and we honestly were having a good time. Nix showed up with some girl. Not sure who it was. She gave me the stink eye when he came over and hugged me and then kissed me on the cheek. Fuck her. I mean really who does she think she is? I drank and danced until the sun came up the following morning. Nix took me home. Captain Football passed out in a pile of hay. Nix literally carried me in my front door and into the bathroom.  I don’t know where my parents were. Any more they seem to be gone a lot. Dad’s job sends him everywhere just to talk to people about... I don’t know what. I barely made it out of his car when I puked in the front yard. I had it in my hair, and on my clothes. I have never drank this much in my life. SHIT!

Nix didn’t worry about stripping me down. The asshole. He flipped on the shower after he laid me on the cold nasty floor. Boys don’t think. He stripped down to his black boxers. Picked me up like I weighed nothing and stepped into the shower with me. He let me slide down his body, which was a mistake.  In my drunken state and for the first time, I found him attractive. Drunk brain=hot Nix. In that moment he wasn’t my best friend or my Nix. He was a grown man. Holy fuck! It didn’t help he pulled my shirt off and had taken my jeans off. Yes I had puke all over them, which made sense, but still. With the running water I rinsed out my mouth. Puke taste is just nasty.

So here we stood almost naked. Never had we been this undressed before in front of each other. I had to lean into him for support, but there was no mistaking that he was hard. And I’m not sure if he was even drunk or just drunk and turned on. FUCK! This is not us. He felt it too. He wanted to kiss me just like I wanted to kiss him. OMG. Remind me never to drink again.  I think if my brother wouldn’t have knocked on the door to check on me we would have ended up fucking in the shower. Thank the lord for my brother. We both jumped and Nix fell out on his ass. I had to sit down because I was laughing so hard.  I finished my shower and he left the bathroom.  We still haven’t talked about it. I don’t think we can.

February 14th

Nix

I ended up taking some skank to the dance just so I could make sure Ans was ok with that prick and he didn’t try to take advantage of her.  When I saw her at the barn she looked like she was having fun. I made my presence known; although my date wasn’t too happy about it. By the end of the night, prissy boy was pretty shit faced and ended up ass high in a bale of hay so I made sure Ans got home ok. She was so fucking cute. I’ve never seen her drink that much. Glad I made it to her house before she puked. Guess it was my turn to take care of her...especially after all the times I was an asshole and she took care of me.  I hauled her ass in the house and straight to the shower. I ended up having to peel her clothes off since she couldn’t stand up on her own, so I stripped and planted her ass in the shower. I looked down at her as the water ran down her face and over her tits, straight down to her pussy. Instant fucking boner. Thank fuck for her brother knocking on the door or else I’d have been balls deep inside her. I’ve seen her in her underwear before, why the hell am I getting turned on by it? She’s my best friend for heaven’s sakes, I mean, it’s ANSLEY.

February 18th

Ansley

I still can’t shake the weirdness of the shower last weekend. Captain Football said he was sorry for passing out on me and leaving me stranded. He is a douche and always will be, but at least he is groveling. I will still help him. I get a weekly treat. He wants to go to the movies Friday. I don’t know yet. He said he would pay. I just hope if I do say yes that he doesn’t expect more, because he won’t get it. Nix and I are a little different this week. Not sure if the shower freaked him like it freaked me. After I cleaned up, I found him in my bed facing the wall. Which was weird since he always sleeps the other way. So for once I tried to wrap my tiny frame around his. I asked him if he was okay and he said yes. Not so sure he was. He held my hand before he fell asleep. Next morning ....OMG! Now I know why I like him wrapped around me. I woke up nearly on top of him and my hand ....blush blush blush.... I was literally holding his dick. WHY!!!! His hand cupping my ass under my shorts. So to say things are weird between us....they really are. Much more now than they ever were.

February 20th

Nix

Last week was seriously fucked up for me. I wake up with my hand cupping my best friend’s ass and my cock in her hand.  Talk about a wakeup call...  I practically jumped out of bed and ran all the way home. Not sure how to feel about that. I can remember how perfect her ass fit in my hand. I’m thinking fucked up shit about my best friend. So not cool.  This week I’m going to lay low.

February 23rd

Ansley

After the past few weeks of everything being awkward between Nix and I we have decided that we no longer can sleep half naked. He sleeps over 5-6 nights a week anymore and after several mornings nearly stripping each other in the middle of the night and waking up in awkward moments we agreed it was better to sleep fully clothed.  I can't believe I've had his dick in my hands as much as I have.  Not saying it's a good thing but MY GAWD that thing is huge!!! Let’s just say his dick grew right along with his body. Damn and I thought Kolton was big.

February 25th

Nix

I can’t put my finger on it but I’ve been feeling off when I hang out with Ans.  We both agreed to sleep fully clothed after the incident a few weeks ago. I can’t seem to sleep without her near me.  Hell I think I live with her more than my parents lately. A few mornings Ans has caught a peek at my cock. Let’s just say she’s a bit shocked at my size. Yeah, I’m a bastard for liking her reaction, but seriously, my junk is the shit!!!

Chapter 3

Spring 2005

March 4th

Ansley

FUCK! Even clothed and Nix sleeping on top of the damn covers we still end up waking up in awkward moments. I don’t want to tell him he can’t sleep here, because I sleep when he is here. So any more we try to laugh it off and not worry about it. I know it bothers him. But really. I am not kicking him out of my bed. So I will deal with crazy ass hard ons. Now I will kick him out if he cums in his sleep. He forewarned me that would happen. EWWWW! NO! Like I want his shit on me or my bed.

March 6th

Nix

I’m old enough that I should be able to control a hard on, right? Obviously I can’t when I sleep with Ans. I nearly woke up busting a nut on her in the middle of the night.  I had to make up some lame ass story about it happens sometimes. Weirdest shit ever how we always manage to wake up tangled with each other in compromising positions. Maybe our subconscious is telling us that we need to have more sex? Aaaaaand the geek in me always shows up at the oddest moments....fucking subconscious. 

March 9th

Ansley

Nix told me he has a hotel room booked in Cabo San Lucas.  I asked why. He said Spring Break baby. I told him I didn’t think I could go. I have no money to pitch in. He said he would take care of it. Some of his buddies and him are going along with a few girls. Our flight in two weeks on a Friday night at like four. He said we will arrive just in time to ring in my 18th bday.  I told him I would be pissed off if I end up sleeping on the floor. He said that wouldn’t happen. He said if he hooked up with a girl he would fuck her somewhere other than in our hotel room. I hope he keeps his word.

March 11th

Nix

The last spring break of high school is coming up!  I’ve got a few of my close friends coming with me to Cabo.  I told Ans she was coming no matter what...it’s kind of a surprise bday present for her too. This year is her 18th birthday and I want to make it special for her.  I plan to party hard and drink heavily cuz you know the girls will be in itty bitty bikinis looking to hook up. I hope Ansley breaks loose and decides to have a good time. I know I will!!

March 17th

Ansley

My parents don’t like the idea of me going with Nix, but agreed and gave me some cash to take. I am shocked. So two weeks and we leave. I have not a clue what I am going to do for a week on the beach. After Kolton and shit I just don’t want to hook up. If I want to just hook up, I probably really could fuck Nix. But would I want to?

March 19th

Nix

Two more weeks!  I can’t wait to get to the beach and party like a mother fucker! I have a feeling that some wild and crazy shit will happen while we’re there. Not much going on. My phone’s been blowing up since the word is getting around that a few of us are going to Cabo. No way in hell am I paying for some chick to tag along. What’s that sayin? You don’t bring sand to the beach yup...I’ll have all the pussy I need there. Which reminds me, stock up on condoms.

March 24th

Ansley

Come on one more week. Captain Football is getting a little too comfortable with me.  I told him if he even attempted to kiss me I would knock him on his ass.  He has proven to me what a dick he could be, so why would I want to waste my time? I will help him, but that’s where I draw the line. Nix can’t shut up about the pussy he wants to tap in Mexico. I may puke first. I just hope he keeps the pussy out of my hotel room. LOL

March 27th

Nix

I know Ans thinks that all I think about is pussy.  Shit that’s all I’ve talked about for a week with her.  I can just picture all the women I’m going to see and how perfect their bodies are going to look and feel beneath me. It’s like talking to one of the guys with her...I think that’s why we’ve been friends for so long, we just understand each other. My brain’s been so clouded with this trip that I can’t remember if Ans said that Brandon has been giving her shit or not.  I know she’s tutoring his stupid ass so he gets into college, otherwise I don’t know why she’d be spending time with that puss. He’s a total dick.  I need to keep an eye on him.

April 3rd

Ansley

FUCK yeah Cabo. The first night we arrived at the hotel late and instead of going to bed Nix and the crew dragged me down to the bar and we started drinking. I didn’t even see my bed or room until the sun was coming up. I was so drunk Nix had to carry me to our room.  I sobered up pretty quick when he dropped my ass in the tub and turned on the cold water. FUCKER!  I nearly jumped out of my skin. I stripped off everything. By the time I climbed from the shower, he was passed out, bare ass naked. Yes on top of the damn covers. At this point I was glad the room had two double beds. I mean I was too tired to even dress. I grabbed his shirt and tugged it on and nearly collapsed on the bed.

April 4th

Nix

Ahhh, FINALLY!! Cabo, my best friends, alcohol, and women! As soon as we arrived, we dropped our bags and headed straight for the bar.  We got Ans so shit faced that she couldn’t walk to our room.  I decided to have a little fun when we got back to the room.  Ansley wouldn’t wake up so I threw her ass in the tub and turned the cold water on full blast.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen her move so fast in my life! I almost pissed my pants laughing so hard.  She didn’t find it so funny... First of many memorable nights I think.

April 6th

Ansley

Spring Break was such a blast. I will say only one time did Nix bring someone back and she got pissed off because I was there and left. Nix was like oh well. I can find another piece of ass. I threw a pillow at him. Which in turned started a pillow fight. He doesn’t know his own strength. Knocked me off the bed, but it wouldn’t have been so bad if the fucker hadn’t been full forward motion landing on top of me. FUCK me the stare was back. I felt him grow hard. WHY? Stupid question. I know why, but never in 14 years has there ever been an attraction between us. FUCK! He started to kiss me and I pushed him away.  I asked him what the fuck. He didn’t answer. He just left. He returned later didn’t speak much, but the sexual tension between us was there. We can’t ever cross that line. No I can’t and I won’t. He probably thinks I am a bitch. Probably the only woman on earth that doesn't wanna get in his pants...

April 9th

Nix

I had a fucking fantastic time in Cabo! I still can’t get over the fact that I tried to kiss Ansley. We were having a good time, laughing, having a pillow fight when I ended up on top of her; I got a chubby and tried to kiss her. She stopped me and I stormed out of the room. I didn’t know what to say so I went to cool off on the beach.  I’m not used to being rejected, but rejection from Ans was the worst. I walked around and drank so much that I ended up standing in the center of town at a tattoo parlor.  I said what the hell and walked in.  There was this hot ass chick at the counter and she asked what I was looking for.  I said I wasn’t sure and she gave me an evil grin.  She told me to follow her, that she had exactly what I needed.  I definitely didn’t mind following her sweet plump ass to the back where I found a dude and a few other chicks. One chick was getting a butterfly tat on her lower back, another was getting her nose pierced, and the last one was getting her nips pierced. She seriously had a nice set of tits.  I followed hot chick and ugly dude to the far back wall where they stuck me in a chair behind a curtain.  I finally asked hot chick what we were doing and she started to unbutton my jeans and started taking them off, surprised her that I was commando. I thought she was about to give me a bj when ugly guy walked in and asked her what type of ring. I’m like hold up, I’m not marrying anyone, slurring the whole sentence. They both laughed at me and said I was getting a Prince Albert. At this point I’m so wasted that I just laid back and watched them do it.  Yeah, can’t believe I fucking got my cock pierced. When I got back to the hotel room I just didn’t know what to say to Ans so I didn’t say shit. I’ve known her forever, why the hell do I wanna fuck her so badly now? Need to push that out of my head. I’m chalking it up to too much alcohol. I didn’t tell anyone I got pierced...Do you know how much shit I’d get over it?

April 12th

Ansley

Nix has been a little different since we got back.  I get it, but come on. Grow up and deal with the fact that I don’t want to cross the line. I have made a pact with myself not to sleep with anyone else. Kolton changed me. I hate that, but it is what it is.

April 15th

Nix

Trying to avoid Ansley is like saying a hooker refuses cock, just isn’t happening. Everything is awkward now and I don’t know how to make it right. Not much else is going on...studying for exams and partying on the weekend.  Still haven’t seen my parents since I got back.  Guess they are traveling. My damn cock is still sore....not quite as bad but it is. I’ve made sure to keep that shit clean and use the antibacterial shit they gave me on it.  I can’t wait to fuck and see how it feels.

April 21st

Ansley

I made the choice to stay local for college. I may try and go to state in two years. This will give me more time to decide what I need to do. I can also apply for more scholarships and loans. Nix got his ride to UCLA, or part of it. His parents are helping him, but the smart shit got several scholarships. I am happy for him. It will seem strange for him not to crawl in my window at night.  Fuck, life will be different, and the more I think about it the more it upsets me.

April 28th

Nix

I was hoping that Ans would pick a school away from here and maybe closer to me but that’s not going to happen. She told me that she’s going to stay here since she doesn’t have any money, her parents don’t have much to help with and she didn’t get much scholarship money. Fuck, I’m really going to miss seeing her every day. I need to fly out to Cali and either find an apartment off campus or apply for a dorm room. I enjoy my privacy so I’ll probably find an apartment or house and get a couple of roommates.

May 3rd

Ansley

Three weeks until graduation. This is the end. I mean really the end. I promised Nix I would go with him to the prom if I didn’t have a date and I didn’t. We are still trying to move past the sexual tension between us. It is hard. Because I am attracted to him, and it takes everything I have not to give in to him. I can’t let what happened with Kolton happen again. I can’t because that is the way it will be between Nix and I and I won’t let our friendship change, just because of one night. It’s too much to risk.

May 7th

Nix

I finally decided to spend the night with Ans, even after all this weird shit between us. I really enjoy hanging out with her.  Everything is so much easier. No bullshit, no trying to put on a show...just us.  Only a couple weeks until graduation and then I’m moving. I’m fucking ecstatic that I’m taking Ans to prom. I know she’s going to look beautiful in whatever she picks. God, as bad as this sounds, I want her to be the first one I fuck with my piercing. Prom would be the perfect time to get her beneath me.

May 15th

Ansley

Prom was fun. Nix and I didn’t go to the after dance party. We instead went back to his house and hung out. Our time together is almost done. He is moving in six weeks. July 1st. He has several jobs lined up. He flew out there a few weeks back. Where am I going to be without my Nix? I mean he has always been there. We fell asleep on his couch together.  At this point the rumors that Nix and I are hooking up has been running rampant. I guess I will let them think what they want. I have seen his dick and felt it way too much lately and yes I know if I said Nix fuck me he would. It takes nothing for him to get turned on. 

May 16th

Nix

I had a fucking blast at prom! Ans was the most beautiful woman there. And I got to stare and grind her body all damn night.  I had to back off a few times because my damn hard on was hurting and I wanted to bend her over and fuck her in front of everyone. Prove all those rumors true for once, but I respect Ans too much to do that to her. I’m glad we didn’t go to the after party.  I heard some serious shit went down and a few people got caught banging in the bathrooms. I leave for Cali in about six weeks, so I’m going to spend as much time as I can with Ans before I go. I’m going to fucking miss her. Life moves on though and a new chapter is starting for both of us.

May 17th

Ansley

Graduation week! I am finally free from everyone. Captain Football invited me to the river party. He has actually turned out to be a good friend. I still think he wants to get into my pants. Too bad I am not going to let him.  I don’t know what I would do if he tried to kiss me. He asked if he could call me during the summer before he goes to KU. I told him sure. What else am I going to do if Nix is gone? I mean really.

May 19th

Nix

Finally!! Graduation is here! Fuck this place, fuck these people, fuck the teachers, fuck the school!!! There are some serious parties that I’ve been invited to and I asked Ans to come with me, but she’s going with football prick.  I know he just wants to get to that pussy...little does he know she’s not giving it up. She finally talked to me about Kolton and how it changed her.  I really can’t blame her for being cautious. I’m actually happy that she’s being adult about all of it rather than turning into shelly slut.

May 23rd

Ansley

Spent most of my time at the river trying to avoid Nix. I am not pissed at him, I just think it will be easier if I stay away from him. I actually locked my window for the first time in years. I know he attempted to come in. My phone went off several times. I cried myself to sleep. How can I let him go? I love him like no other. FUCK!

May 26th

Nix

WTF? Ans won’t talk to me so I went over and tried to get in through the window like I always have...the mother fucker was locked. She’s never locked that window. I tried to call but she’s ignoring me. I need to see her and be with her before I leave.  This shit is hard...I’m sure she’s not taking it well and I need to make sure she’s going to be ok when I leave.  I crave wrapping my body around hers at night, this shit is killing me.

Chapter 4

Summer 2005

June 3rd

Ansley

Came home tonight after spending all day at Big Rock swimming with Brandon aka Captain Football and Nix’s ass is parked on my steps. I approached with caution. I knew he was mad at me and yes I deserved it, but how can I tell him the truth?  I don’t want him to go. I want him to stay with me. How can I tell him good-bye? How can I tell my best friend how this is tearing me apart? He didn’t speak. He just stood up and bear hugged me. We have been through so much this year, but yet we always came back to this. Him and I. I can’t help but cry. I shove past him and run into the bathroom. God only knows what my parents think. I don’t care anymore. I flipped on the shower and just bawled. I am losing a part of me. Nix is my other half. He picked the lock. Damn him.  He sits on the floor and draws me into his lap and just held me. I hate him right now. I really do!!

June 6th

Nix

This bullshit of being ignored is stopping. It’s childish and I’m fed up with it.  I went over to Ansley’s house and parked my ass on her steps until she got home. I may have been pissed because I sat there for-fucking-ever waiting on her, but as soon as she showed up, I couldn’t do anything but hug her. When I did, she broke down crying and ran into the house and straight to the bathroom. I heard her turn on the shower to cover her sobs but I couldn’t handle hearing her cry. I went in and pulled her into my arms and held her. Fuck, leaving is going to be a lot harder than I thought it would be. All I want to do is hold her, kiss her, and remind her that everything is going to be ok.

June 9th

Ansley

After I bawled like a damn baby for an hour on that fucking bathroom floor, Nix didn’t leave. He packed my bags and told me to come with him. I had no idea where we were going. He told my parents to kiss his ass that I would return in a few weeks. He left a phone number in case of an emergency and left it at that. Dad was speechless. I think after Nix’s change this past summer, he sort of feared Nix. I am glad. I begged and pleaded with Nix to tell me where we were going but he wouldn’t say a word. He just tossed my ass in the car and drove.  Fifteen hours later we were on the