Luvin A Thug

Royal

Last time I checked none of you lame ass hoes was even on this roster, I said looking over my crew that consisted of misfits.

Me, my girl, Shandi, and my little cousin, Rocka, we made up the Hustle Gang. All we did for a living was steal and smoke weed and, to be honest, the shit was tiring.

Rolling my eyes, I filed my nails that was naturally shaped into a claw and painted a deep candy apple red. My hair was pretty short, so I kept my shit up in a long Brazilian weave that touched my ass because, shit, that’s what my look and persona consisted of. I was the leader of this dumb ass crew and these bitches were down to do what the fuck ever I wanted them to.

See, when I was eight in elementary school, I made up a name for these hoes. ‘Hustle Gang’, since we were all raised from the same exact struggle. Shit, me, I was from the grimy ass bay area streets and I didn’t care about shit but me. My mom tried to change my outlook sometimes on life but I didn’t give a damn about shit. Nothing.

Girl, bye, I know I’m on the fucking roster! I put in more work then all you hoes, Rocka said as she looked at her oval-shaped nails and dusted off her Michael Kors bag and rolled her eyes at me.

She was my cousin so, by law, she had it. I couldn’t hold off on a lick from her but this bitch, Shandi? Nah, her scary ass wasn’t getting shit. She looked us both over and she knew she was ass out.

Waving us off, she walked away. I laughed as Rocka shook her head. I wasn’t a bully by the least but, bitch, when it came to money, I didn’t give a fuck about what the fuck anyone was going through; I needed my funds.

My phone rung and I saw it was my mama. I shook my head because I knew that she was going to want me to bring some bullshit up to her job. She had been working at the bullshit ass hospital for as long as I could remember and I hated it. Shit, no one could pay me enough money to lift a finger for them white ass folks. I was high maintenance but, shit, I didn’t care. What the fuck ever I wanted I would take it, believe that.

Yea, mama? I said in an irritated tone.

Baby, I need you to bring mama some lunch, I’m starving, she said as I rolled my eyes. Ask me if I had the time to do that. Nope.

Maaa, I whined.

Rocka looked over at me and shook her head. She was always spitting some bullshit about me cherishing my mom because I never knew when she would leave this Earth but ask me if I cared. I rolled my eyes and grabbed my car keys as me and Rocka got in my whip.

I only asked for some damn lunch lil’ girl, she spat at me.

I’m coming. Damn, I said hanging up the phone.

Rocka looked over at me.

Bitch, don’t start. All I want you to do is turn up the fucking radio, I spat out at her as I turned the block and went to Burger King. Shit, she had better be happy she was getting a damn meal.

We pulled up to the hospital and I saw my mama standing outside smoking a cancer stick.

Wassap, ma? Here, I said, dropping the food off in her lap. She grabbed me by my hair. She was always tripping.

Mama what the— she smacked me in my mouth before I could finish my statement.

Shut the fuck up, Royal, before I beat your little ass. You are 17 years old and walking around and talking the way you do? Girl, I will fuck you up, she said to me. When I looked at her, I couldn’t lie I was scared out of my fucking mind.

Ok, mama, I straightened up because I knew my mama would beat my ass. I looked in the car and Rocka was laughing.

Your sister is coming home tonight, did you remember? she reminded me and the truth was that, yes, I remembered but who gave a fuck? Miss Goody Two Shoes, Queenie, was coming home from college and I hated the ground that bitch walked on. Everyone wanted me to be like her so damn bad but hell I wanted to be like me. Queenie was just a sucka ass bitch who just wanted to impress my mama and daddy.

You need to be there to pick her up.

Ma, what? Why? I asked her and she didn’t answer.

Girl, be at the train station at eight tonight to pick her up. Play games if you want, she spat and walked off.

I rolled my eyes and looked down at my iPhone. It was 6:45. I sighed knowing that this was going to be crazy. Queen Queenie was coming home.

Queenie

I put my bag down as I got off the train. It took me approximately five days to come home and I couldn’t wait until my mama cooked me a big ass meal. My mouth was watering from just thinking about it. As I waited for my mama to pull up, I tapped my foot on the dirty pavement that looked disgusting. I looked at my black matte claw-like nails and I began to think about why I was out here. I shook the thought from my head  I rolled my eyes. I just couldn’t fathom his ass at the moment.

Where the fuck is my mama? I huffed as I stamped my pink Chanel snow boot on the dusty ass pavement.

It was 8:10 and my mama was nowhere to be found. That was unlike her. I got ready to call her and I also cursed myself for not flying, or having my car. For the first time in two years, I wanted to be back normal. I escaped my previous life, the bullshit, the cocaine, the love of my life and just left. Sometimes I think back on all the shit I had to do; all the people I had to murk and I wondered... was the shit even fucking worth it?  I saw a pink Honda pull up.

Get ya’ ass in.

I looked in to see my baby sister, Royal, and my little cousin, Rocka, in the front seat. I looked at them both and Rocka got up and moved to the back. Putting my bags in the trunk, I hopped in the car and instantly smelled the stench of Cali buds. I hated weed and it also reminded me of Major. All his ass did was smoke weed and make moves. Shaking my head I looked over her and smiled. This was my baby sister and I missed her little ass.

So what the fuck is up, big cousin? We missed you, Rocka said to me and I smiled.

I laughed and shook my head. I missed Rocka, too. Me and Rocka’s big sister was the closet ever but when she moved to New York with me and all the tragedy began to happen, I lost my cousin and I know that everyone hated me for that shit. Looking at her, I remembered Treasure and shook my head. She was the best friend that a bitch could ever have and the most downest bitch I could have on my team.

Shit much, girl, just living, I replied. I know it was vague but true.

College was eating me up, New York was eating me up and, hell, life was eating me up. Looking out the window, I looked at my neighborhood and saw all the shit that I didn’t miss. Crackheads and hoes on every corner and it was a Friday night so shit was beyond cracking. I shook my head and looked back at my little sister. She didn’t even acknowledge me. I nudged her and she smiled.

Fuck is wrong with you?

I knew she was feeling some type of way. Four years in New York and I never invited her out there and when she tried to come I shunned her off, but what I was doing in New York was not ok.

Nothing, girl, I’m tired as hell, she lied. I knew she was lying I raised her little ass myself.

Oh ok. Did mama cook? I asked, missing my mama’s cooking.

She made a little something, not anything big, she said turning up the Drake who was spilling through the speakers. I looked her over. She had grown up so damn much since I was gone. I loved her little ass and wished that she would just overlook all the artificial shit that she was into because there was more to life than that.

So what you doing tonight, cousin? Rocka asked me and I shrugged. I had to check in with my realtor and make sure that she found me a place to stay. I needed to be out the way and my family needed to be tucked away safe and sound.

I don’t know, girl.

Oh and why the hell you come back? If I was you I would have never left from out there.

Why you say that?

Because it looks so fucking nice out there, she replied. I looked at her for a minute while my heart tugged a little. I dropped my face down and rubbed my belly.

Girl, all that glitters ain’t gold forreal, I said, wishing that I didn’t have these horrible memories of my old life in New York. The truth was that, yes, I loved the east coast but was I running from something? Yes. Hell, better yet, who.

Well, what is it then? Royal asked me and I looked away.

How about I tell y’all when we get to the house? I smiled trying to let the shit go.

I wanna hear about it now, she said while driving and I shook my head. Fuck it, why not tell them my story about how I was loving a thug?

Queenie

2 years prior

Queenie, girl, I’m saying you know damn well you need to go out. Like, fuck, you finished your finals and all come on, my best friend, Angie, said.

She was a pretty Latino girl who was from the Bronx. She made sure that she was dressed ‘to the T’ everywhere that we went. I looked at her and I was dressed in my pants, white Ralph Lauren shirt and red booties. I, for sure, had no time to sit up and play with people I was now a junior at the University and I didn’t want anything to throw me off track.

Angie, I don’t wanna go out and play tonight I have to go to meet with the lady for my internship tomorrow early in the am, I told her. I was majoring in culinary arts and my school had the best culinary arts program in the country. I had to make sure to impress my teachers.

I promise we’ll be home early in the am. I looked over at her lying ass but for some reason I believed her.

Promise?

Promise. She put her pinky finger out and smacked my ass.

I shook my head and we walked towards our apartment and once there she was looking at my closet.

Wear this, and hair down tonight, Angie said as she walked past me and got her outfit.

I looked at my outfit. She would pick out the nastiest outfit. It was a two piece white crop top with a mini body con skirt and my red platform shoes. I popped my lips because regardless of how many times I was focused on school I did love to party. Hell, I was a Cali girl. I hopped in the shower and in an hour tops, I was ready.

Ok, chica. She clicked her tongue and I laughed. She grabbed my wave wand and I sat down.

We gone be too on tonight, I said laughing as I saw her pull out a bag of dro.

Hearing a knock on my door, we told them to come in already knowing who it was.

Look at you bitches... our best friend Twanie yelled out as he twirled around in his high waist red disco pants, gold glitter top and gold glitter platform shoes. He was killing most bitches in those 7 inch shoes and I couldn’t talk because I was never the one to try and walk in those big ass shoes.

Twanie was a 5 foot 2 male who was gay. He dressed better than most and his weave and face was always on fleek.

Bitch, how the fuck am I supposed to keep up with that though?  I asked as I looked at his ensemble. He was killing ‘em in his shit.

Bitch, bye. Look at your sexy little ass, you two hoes I have to watch out for. He looked over my outfit and I giggled as he passed me a shot of liquor.

Turn the fuck up, bitch, we done with school for now. I laughed and nodded my head. It was time to turn the fuck up.

***

I was geeked. Angie let me drive her brand new 2014 Audi coupe. The bitch drove so smooth and was such a beauty. I looked over at her and wondered how in the hell was she able to afford this car. Me and her both were in the same school and she was a psych major.

Angie was from the Bronx, and she made it through any obstacle set before her. I shook my head as I pulled up to the 40/40. It was packed all around the club and I shook my head again. I did not feel like waiting in this long ass line.

We hopped out the car, took some shots and there I was standing in the line.

I ,ain’t feeling it y’all, I told then and looked away.

Angie and Twanie looked at me and grabbed me as I began to step out the line.

You, Cali baby, you get us in wherever the fuck we go.

I rolled my eyes feeling the buzz from my drink and weed.

I don’t want to do shit, I’m tired, I replied and then walked off. The effects of the alcohol in my system was waving over me. I wanted to go home now, shit.

Well, since the 40/40 tripping, let’s go across the street to the strip joint, Angie said laughing.

They both knew I hated strip joints. I didn’t want anyone’s ass and cooch in my damn face.  I began to laugh as they dragged me across the street to the damn strip club. Shaking my head I said ‘fuck it’.

Major

Look, man, I ain’t gone be doing this shit with you every fucking night, I told my baby mother as she yelled at me before she went on her set.

She was always bitching about some money but when I brought the shit she would complain about fucking me. I didn’t want anything to do with the nasty bitch. Any broad that could get on stage and show off my goods on a daily was something I couldn’t fuck with. Shaking my head, I walked off but she chased me down the hall.

Chase, chill, I grabbed her arm and she almost slipped from all the baby oil that had leaked from her onto the floor. I shook my head and walked off.

I hate you, Major, she told me. I nodded and then walked off.

What was new? They all hated a nigga. Chase was a young female, one of the youngest females I ever fucked with. Her milky skin, chinky eyes and big round breasts are what attracted me to her but then after a year she became insecure and I couldn’t blame her. She knew how I rocked. So I had to let the cat out the bag and send her about her way, but I could never let go of our six-month-old child.

You straight, my nigga? Roscoe my cousin and right hand asked me as I walked