Gold Dust Woman: The Club, #4

One

Felicity

My heart begins to pound as I ride the elevator up to the top floor of Jae Rothko’s building. Why do I feel nervous? I’m never nervous. People are usually nervous when they meet me, not the other way around.

Maybe it’s because Jae Rothko is the only man I ever truly loved. And I foolishly let him get away. I was young and stupid. And I’ve never found another man who made me feel the way Jae did. 

When the doors open I take in a deep breath before I step out of the elevator. Rubbing my palms together I realize they’re sweaty.

I never sweat either.

As I approach the reception area I clear my throat hoping to get the attention of the young woman who seems engrossed in some frantic typing.

When she looks up at me she frowns. Do you have an appointment?

I’m Felicity D, I announce.

She blinks her big blue eyes a few times and then asks again if I have an appointment.

I give a single, quick laugh, which I hope indicates that I don’t need an appointment.

When the girl continues to gawk at me, and blinks wildly, I quickly state, Tell Mr. Rothko Felicity D is here. I’m sure he’ll make time to see me.

She furrows her brow, seemingly conflicted. Maybe Jae told her he didn’t want to be disturbed. That sounds like something he would do.

Then she takes in a deep breath, flips her blonde bob and picks up the phone. Mr. Rothko. I’m sorry to disturb you. There’s a woman here named Felicity D...Yes, sir.

Once she hangs up the phone she gives me a polite smile. You can go back to his office. She points to the door behind her large modern looking metal desk.

I make a point of giving her an I-told-you-so grin before I glide back to Jae’s office. My heart starts to pound in my chest. The closer I get to his door the louder it sounds.

Get a grip, I tell myself as I reach for the door handle.

When I finally manage to open the door my heart skips a few beats. Jae is standing at the window gazing out at the city.

As he turns from the window our eyes lock and my chest tightens in response. Every time I see Jae he seems to get more attractive.

He’s still wearing all black. It’s a habit he started when we were in college. That’s how he got the moniker Black Dog, and it stuck. His company, Black Dog Enterprises, is now worth billions. 

Felicity. He circles his massive desk then places a quick kiss on my cheek. This is a surprise.

He sounds much less happy to see me than I expected.

Even though it's been years since we were a couple I still get a little tingly when his skin makes contact with mine.

What brings you to Chicago? His voice is formal, like he's speaking to a business associate rather than an old flame.

I wanted you to be the first to hear. I've accepted a position as a guest lecturer at The Chicago Academy of Art and Design.

Truth be told I don’t actually have anyone else to tell.

Jae has never been a man of many words and he's never been one to show emotions. Right now he's utterly icy. The last time I saw him he was cordial, even friendly, for Jae Rothko. I guess I assumed he had gotten past me leaving him.

I thought it was old history.

Now I'm a little less certain.

Congratulations. His tone is sharp and I wonder if I’ve made a terrible mistake coming here.

When he crosses his arms over his chest and stares at me a feeling of discomfort passes over me. I do my best to move past it.

A drink to celebrate? I offer.

I do my best to hide my disappointment when Jae shakes his head. I'm getting married.

Today? I try to make it sound like a joke, even though I feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest.

I don't want to upset Rose.

Her name is like a smack in the face. The young woman I met?

He nods.

He introduced me to her when I was back in town for an exhibit. At the time I considered her little more than a distraction. She seemed so young and naïve.

She was completely lacking any sort of sophistication. I thought she was someone he'd play around with for a while until he got bored. I never imagined she would be someone he’d consider marrying.

I guess I'm the one who should be congratulating you. I do my best to sound happy for him, even though I’m falling apart inside.

He gives me his version of a smile. Thank you.

We stare at each other awkwardly for several painful moments. Then Jae asks, Have you met anyone?

My face heats in response to his question. There was never anyone for me but Jae. I shake my head, but avert my eyes. I need a moment to compose myself before I can look at him again.

An emotional breakdown is not an option. Jae wouldn’t tolerate it, and I don’t want to appear needy or weak.

I’m not seeing anyone, I state finally.

When our eyes meet again I see something in Jae’s that I’ve never seen before.

Compassion. 

It takes me by surprise. Perhaps his little Rose is doing something right.

It’s really none of my business... Jae’s tone is now brusque. At least that’s something I’m used to.

It’s okay, I tell him. I guess I thought... I can’t even finish the sentence. I thought one day we’d get back together. Now the very idea seems ridiculous.

Jae circles behind his desk and opens the top drawer. He removes a black business card and hands it to me.

What is this? The card is cryptic. It only has two words printed on it and a phone number.

The Club.

It’s a place for people like you and I. A kind of dating service for the wealthy and well connected.

I try to hand the card back to him, but he won’t accept it.

Claudia, the owner of The Club, is very good at making arrangements.

At that moment it occurs to me that he most likely met his little Rose through The Club. That would make a lot more sense than him actually approaching a young woman and asking her out on a date.

Give it some consideration, he continues. I think you’ll find what you’re looking for there.

How do you know what I’m looking for? Immediately after the words leave my lips I realize they are too forward.

I expect some kind of negative response from Jae, but once again, to my amazement, he remains civil, even gracious. I want you to find some happiness, Felicity. At least consider phoning Claudia.

I look down at the card. I’ll give it some thought.

When Jae glances at his watch I realize it’s time for me to go. Thank you for seeing me.

Take care of yourself, Felicity.

I’m sad that he doesn’t offer another kiss on the cheek, or even a friendly pat on the arm. That’s Jae, though. When he’s done, you’re done.

***

When I arrive back at the condo I have leased for the semester it feels much colder and quieter than when I left. The place was rented to me fully furnished. That was fortunate because I haven’t yet made the decision to move back to the USA on a permanent basis. Now that I know Jae won’t be a part of my life, living in Chicago has become much less appealing.

My contract with The Chicago Academy of Art and Design is for six months, with an option to renew. Right now that doesn’t seem likely, but I made a promise to myself that I would be a little more flexible than I have been in the past and keep my options open.

I remove the business card that Jae gave me from my handbag and stare at it for a long moment. Am I really the sort of person who needs a dating service?

A big part of the reason I came back to pursue Jae is because I’m not getting any younger. My marriage prospects seem to be fading faster than a falling star. I never imagined I’d still be single at thirty-two.

To an outsider I’m sure it looks like I have everything a person could ever want: money, fame, power, prestige. But deep down inside I often feel lonely and isolated. I don’t have anyone who truly cares about me. People care about being seen with me. They care about having me fundraise for them or attend their charity events. But if anything ever happened to me, if I truly needed someone, I have no idea who I’d call on for help. 

I place the card on my dresser. No time to dwell on it now. I’ve got an opening at The Academy’s gallery to attend this evening.

***

As soon as Raphael Montenegro spots me he hurries over to greet me. Raphael comes from generations of wealth. He’s one of the country’s biggest art collectors and he’s the largest donor to The Chicago Academy of Art and Design.

I cringe when he places a kiss on my cheek. I know I should be grateful to him. He was instrumental in my getting the prestigious guest lectureship position at The Academy. I get the feeling that his motives towards me are not purely professional however. I can see it in his dark eyes—pure lust.

Raphael is quite attractive, and he knows it. He oozes charm and sophistication. He’s also got a reputation as a Playboy who beds models as frequently as he changes clothes.

You look lovely, Felicity, as always.

As do you, Raphael.

Tall and slender Raphael is always impeccably dressed in custom made suits. He always selects the perfect colors and designs that compliment his dark hair and features.

I’m so glad you could make it tonight. I tense when he places a hand on the small of my back. Perhaps you’d like a glass of champagne.

He doesn’t wait for me to respond. He leads me over to the bar and orders two glasses of Dom Perignon.

How are you enjoying Chicago? he asks as we wait for our drinks to be served.

It’s nice to be back, I lie. I can’t help but think about Jae and his little Rose.

Once our champagne is poured he hands me one of the flutes and takes one for himself. We should toast.

We hold up our glasses.

To what I hope will be the start of something wonderful. Even though his words are a bit cryptic the look in his eyes is anything but. The look says he’s already imagining me in his bed.

As we clink glasses I try my best to smile. The effort is weak at best. I have absolutely no interest in Raphael in anything other than a professional capacity.

I’d love to see some of your new work, he suggests. I’m in the market right now for a few new pieces.

Raphael is always in the market for artwork. With homes all over the world he certainly has no shortage of wall space.

My work will be at a gallery downtown at the end of next month.

He gives me a sly grin. Maybe a private showing at your place?

My chest tightens. The last thing I want is to make Raphael angry. He’s too influential in the art community and getting on his bad side could be detrimental to my career. But I definitely get the sense that my artwork isn’t the only thing he’s hoping to see if I invite him to my condo.

He moves in closer, so close that I can smell his expensive cologne. How about this weekend?

My throat tightens.

I have plans, I mutter. I hope my lie doesn’t sound as pathetic to him as it does to me.

Cancel them, he whispers in my ear.

Maybe another time, I suggest.

His eyes search mine for a long moment. Don’t tell me you’re still in love with Jae Rothko.

Am I truly that transparent? I’d feel less uncomfortable if I was standing next to him completely naked.

Jae is engaged to someone else, I admit. I take in a deep breath as I blink back tears. Now is not the time to break down, I tell myself.

Then who are you with?

I’m a little taken aback by his boldness.

I think he can sense my unease with the direction that the conversation has taken because his face immediately softens. I like to know who my competition is, he jokes.

When I place a hand on his arm he smiles. I’ll flirt with him as much as I have to, but if he thinks I’ll ever sleep with him he’s sorely mistaken. Definitely another time, Raphael.

I’m going to hold you to your promise, he whispers in my ear. You’re such a beautiful woman.

When his hand slides down the length of my back I stiffen. I’d better get going. It’s been a long day.

Allow me to walk you to your car, he insists.

Since I can’t think of an excuse I agree to allow him to escort me out. His hand remains at the small of my back as we make our way through the guests still mingling and discussing art.

Once we’re outside he drapes his arm over my shoulder. You look cold.

The fall air is getting brisk in the evenings and tonight is no exception. If I was even remotely attracted to Raphael I’d appreciate the gesture a lot more.

He leads me over to the row of limousines awaiting their passengers. One of the perks of being awarded the prestigious guest lectureship is a car service at my disposal. My driver, Lawrence, opens the door for me the moment I step up to the limo.

Shall I take you home, Miss D?

Yes, thank you, Lawrence.

Before I have a chance to make my escape Raphael leans in for a kiss. His lips touch mine ever so softly, but I don’t feel a thing. No spark. Not even a tingle.

Raphael, on the other hand, seems to have enjoyed the exchange immensely. He’s grinning from ear to ear. No chance you’ll change your mind about this weekend?

I shake my head. Another time.

He points a finger at me. I’m holding you to that promise.

I do my best to smile and make it not seem as