Operation De-ICE (The Battle for Earth)

Prologue

Spaceship Emissary

Captain's Personal Log - July 23, 2331

I still see the carnage as I close my eyes in a vain attempt to sleep. I will never be able to erase today from my memory. Paradoxically, it’s a day I will need to remember to protect the unauthorized passengers hidden away from the majority of my crew.

We lost four good soldiers today before hastily leaving the planet of Zarcon. I was horrified when Alia showed up, covered in blood and holding a baby in her arms, a barely viable baby. I could see she had been born violently. I couldn’t turn them away. I couldn’t be like the monster that had placed them at my threshold.

Several members of my crew and I rushed to Asenath's chambers only to find Asenath and Lieutenant Kane Sandor brutally slaughtered. Asenath had been slashed open, and her baby ripped from her body. Her death had been brutal but swift. She had quickly bled out and certainly died within minutes. Asenath's lover, Lieutenant Sandor, was found feet from her bed on the cold concrete floor, decapitated. Asenath's father, Zajzon Zarcan, and her younger brother Angar were responsible for their deaths.

We were ending our eight-month tour of the Solarian and Zarog galaxies. Zarcon was the last stop before returning to Earth. We were scheduled to leave in two days for Earth. I had already agreed to smuggle Asenath onto my ship and take her to Earth with us. It was a dangerous plan, but I knew once her father discovered the pregnancy, the likelihood of her murder was imminent. Unfortunately, he found out too soon. Someone must have betrayed us.

Asenath's baby and Alia are fighting for survival, fugitives from Zarcon. Booth saved the tiny baby, barely seven months in her loving mother's womb. Her wounds were deep, her lungs not yet entirely formed. Booth worked non-stop until the child was viable and on her way to a long healthy life; her fate not yet determined.

Our departure from Zarcon was met with resistance. The battle was swift, and we lost three more of our crew; one of our best pilots Jarred Hanson, a young soldier Lt. Akeem Cahill, and a young medic, Milla Kronopolis. We had gone to Asenath's quarters to save her and Kane. They were killed just outside our ship. We were so close to safety but not close enough.

My most significant loss was Jarred Hanson, one of my closest friends and my personal pilot. I will miss him dearly. The most challenging task ahead of me is telling his young wife and son of his death. His death was honorable and in battle, but it won’t give his family solace. Our mission was one of peace and goodwill, not one of war or domination.

As soldiers, my brethren and I swore to defend our planet. Yet we hoped we would never have to face battle or kill. I saw death today on a visceral level. I saw pure savagery. I thought myself a humanitarian, not a killer. Seeing death and taking a life, I take pause. Is this the life I want?

Jax Zadoorian's Personal Log

Zarcon

March 14, 2352 – 23:02 hours

Despite my attempt to sleep, I can only think of what will happen tomorrow. I will leave Zarcon and my daughter. I have something I must do, but first, I have to tell Avon the truth. It will be the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.

As I look back on my most significant decisions, everything pales compared to this. I fear Avon will hate me once she hears the full account. And if she doesn’t, I fear she will want to help me, and that is the last thing I desire. I must keep her safe at all costs, even if it means dying for her.

Dozens of people, mainly those in my inner circle, knew that Avon was the heir to the Zarcon throne. Of course, we hid the truth from her for almost twenty years. One day short of her twentieth birthday, Avon learned her true identity and birthright.

Life on Zarcon has been a challenge for all of us. I’m content knowing I had predicted this and made plans for Avon's and Jeremy's assets to be converted to Intergalactic Credits. I also had Avon's possessions from the apartment on Earth collected by one of the pirates. I hope they will help her to feel at home. I know she loves the books, toys, and other antiquities presented to her over the years by dignitaries who knew the truth.

There will be struggles until Zarcon is accepted back into the Coalition. Only a few intergalactic governments acknowledge Avon as the Queen of Zarcon. More battles could be ahead as we establish Zarcon as a sovereign planet and nation.

I hope to finish the mission and return before Avon's twins are born. Putting her and Jeremy together was a stroke of genius. The love they have for one another transcends cupidity. Neither of them could live without the other. Love built on hatred is strong.

I have to tell them the truth. I must tell Avon that her grandfather King Zajzon knew she was alive, and we colluded to protect her. I know she will want to know everything. But I’m not sure I have the fortitude to break her heart. How can I confess that the men who attacked the mansion were not Angar's hired guns but Corbin and Jake? How can I tell her Corbin planted the transponder in Alia's leg?

Maybe I should have told Avon the truth from the beginning. Maybe I should have taken her to another planet and found her asylum. But I did what I thought was best for Avon.

I have amassed a small army from the slaves we freed on Zarcon. Jake and TyAnna will accompany me to Earth while Dr. Booth stays on the V. We will team with the Freedom Fighters under Tigani's command. We are headed for Earth. I have to kill Armstrong.

We have named the mission Operation De-ICE.

~~~

Chapter 1

You didn’t tell her, General Annelle Tigani admonishes as soon as I close the door to Avon and Jeremy's suite, and my boots hit the hallway floor.

How could I? I replied, knowing I had lied again just seconds after promising my daughter that I would always tell her the truth. Of course, I lied. How could I tell Avon that Armstrong still has a bounty on her head? The truth is a curse.

The giant lizard is determined to take over the universe, Tigani groans.

I bemoan in return as our synchronized cadence echoes through the quiet, deserted corridor. The sun is barely up. While the trip from Zarcon to Earth will only take half a day, Tigani and I have decided to leave as early as possible.

Leaving Avon is always the most challenging part of every mission. Even after twenty years, I detest it. It’s even more difficult with her newly married and pregnant with twins. And as the newly crowned Queen of Zarcon, I know she needs me here. But I have to return to Earth. I took an oath nearly thirty years ago to protect Earth from all enemies, both foreign and domestic, and I’ll keep that vow even if I have to do it as a rebel.

I have nothing against aliens. Hell, I reported to Armstrong as his second in command of the Intergalactic Command Exchange for more years than I want to count. I had hoped he would retire and return to Taria, but no, he had to stay in control of ICE and Earth.

So, is our mission to reclaim Earth from alien rule, or is it to destroy Armstrong?

My mission is to kill Armstrong, I pontificate as we dock with my battleship, the V. He has to die.

Have you decided which Freedom Fighters are going with us? I ask Tigani as we near planet Earth.

Yes, I have selected twenty of my most loyal soldiers.

I have Jake and TyAnna and ten of our new recruits joining your troops.

I watch as Tigani’s brows rise. I’m surprised those two decided to leave the Freedom Fighters and join your group.

Jake and TyAnna follow Rory, and with Rory retiring to raise a family, they also retired. Plus, they are Avon and Jeremy's best friends.

But they decided to join you on this mission?

Yes, I chuckle. I guess Jake and TyAnna want to go on one more operation before settling down and having a child or two.

Tigani’s face saddens. It’s easy to know the reason for her regret. Tigani has dedicated her life to being a soldier, first as an ICE officer and now with the Freedom Fighters. Her chance to have children has come and gone. At least they are still young, she sighs, disheartened.

How long has it been? I ask.

How long has what been?

How long ago was it that we first met?

Over twenty years ago, closer to twenty-five. The Emissary was my first assignment.

I smile. And my first command.

General Tigani, General Zadoorian, five minutes, Lieutenant Morava calls out as he enters my office on the battleship to let us know how soon we can finish our journey to Earth in the short-range shuttles.

I groan, or maybe it was a growl. It's just Jax, I remind Lieutenant Morava, even though the battleship belongs to me. Well, actually, it belongs to ICE, but I kept it when I deserted. And while we still have a chain of command, with me as the leader of this mission, I despise the title of General. It reminds me too much of ICE and a life of deception. I neither want nor deserve the title.

I still have a few friends on Earth, Tigani reminds me while ignoring my irritation for everyone still calling me General. They will meet us with vehicles. There is no sense in traveling fifty-five miles from the coast to ICE Headquarters on foot.

Why not? Corbin chuckles sardonically. Avon, Jeremy, and I did it, and with assassins and hired guns trying to kill us the entire way.

Corbin’s sarcastic poke is more like a punch to the stomach. Avon had spent nearly ten days on the run being chased by bounty hunters before escaping Earth. And it was partly my fault. I should have found a quicker and easier way to get Avon off the planet. Instead, I was five days away from Earth while she was running for her life.

I realize now that Angar and Armstrong had already colluded to put Angar on the throne. King Zajzon, Avon's grandfather, knew he was just days from death when he reached out to me. But I was too far away to help. I’m sure this was Armstrong's doing.

Luckily, Avon and Jeremy were miles from the mansion when I received the official notification that Zajzon had died. I had to put my plan into motion quickly. I contacted Rory immediately. He sent Jake and TyAnna to Earth. They laid out the plan with Corbin to get Avon off the planet. But the plan went to hell faster than I could have imagined. It should have taken only three days for Avon and Jeremy to escape Earth, but instead, it took ten long, torturous days. And the entire time, I was safe on my battleship several galaxies away. I should have gone AWOL then and there, but I had hoped I could be more helpful by remaining an ICE officer.

But you always love a great fight, Tigani laughs while squeezing Corbin’s hand.

So true, Corbin snickers as he lightly kisses Tigani’s cheek.

None of that, Command Sergeant Major, Tigani scolds. I’m still your commanding officer. Remember, you turned down my offer to make you my second in command.

I’m a grunt, not officer material, Corbin reminds his lover of four years.

Assemble everyone in the shuttle bay, I instruct Corbin. While nervous about how we will accomplish our mission, I smile inwardly. I have known Corbin just as long as I have known Tigani. Corbin was only eighteen and straight out of boot camp when he was assigned to the Emissary. He was shy, but I saw his potential. And Corbin is loyal. I realized then, just as I know now, he is the ultimate soldier. No one can out-fight Corbin Ygbuhay, not even me.

Corbin exits the office, leaving me alone with Tigani. When are you and Corbin going to settle down?

Tigani shrugs. Maybe after this mission. We have both lived in space for decades. It would be nice to return to Earth and live like normal people.

I nearly fell out of my chair. Normal?

Well, as normal as normal is, Tigani laughs.

Shall we? I ask as I stand.

Let's go kick some ass, Tigani chuckles.

That is Corbin's line.

Tigani shrugs again. It's a good line.

Chapter 2

It took only a few minutes for Tigani and me to reach the shuttle bay. Everyone is standing in formation, awaiting our arrival. Lieutenant Hawks and Captain Clary are doing their flight checks. The coordinates are entered for the location on the coast where we will land, Corbin advises.

Tell Captain Clary I’ll be piloting my own shuttle, I instruct Corbin.

You?

I’m still a pilot, I counter, and a damn good one.

Yes, sir, Corbin smiles proudly as he turns on his heel to relieve Clary of her duties.

My shuttle will land first, Tigani reminds the group. One of the drivers knows me. The last thing we need is a skirmish as soon as we touch down.

I look at my crew. Jake and TyAnna Cahill are the only members of the team with battle experience. The remainder of the squad is comprised of new recruits. Six months ago, they were slaves on Zarcon. While they range in age from eighteen to thirty-five, they don’t have experience fighting. But under Corbin's tutelage, they were taught every trick he knew. They are well-trained and eager.

Let's go kick some ass, I call out as Captain Tessa Clary exits the shuttle.

I’m going too, Clary announces. You can fly this tin can if you want, but you can’t stop me from going with you. I wasn't planning on doing a stop-n-drop.

Have you weaponed up?

Of course I have. I want Armstrong dead just as much as you do, Clary smiles.

I pat Clary on the back. She deserted from ICE with me when Avon was missing for nearly forty-five hours on planet Zych in the Zarog galaxy. I trust Clary implicitly. She is an excellent pilot and a well-trained soldier. I’m thrilled she will have my six.

It takes less than five minutes for everyone to split up into their respective shuttles and strap in. I was about to seal the door when Booth entered the shuttle panting.

What in the hell are you doing, I nearly scream.

I’m going with you. You may need a doctor.

What I don’t need is a liability, I ululate. You agreed to stay on the V. Plus, when was the last time you were in any type of battle or scrimmage?

Never.

Then get your ass off my shuttle.

"Sorry, Mister Zadoorian, but you are no longer my commanding officer. Neither of us wears an ICE uniform, and you can’t boss me around like you did for decades. I’m going."

Get off my shuttle! I scream again.

Make me! Booth laughs.

Damn it, Nathan, who will give you medical attention if you get hurt?

You taught Avon how to heal your wounds when she was barely nine years old. I’m sure you can show another youngling how to do it.

And now you are using my secrets against me, I laugh jovially.

Of course, I am, Booth chuckles. Where you go, I go.

I take a deep breath and pat the good doctor on the shoulder. Have a seat next to Clary. And hold on tight. It may be a bumpy ride.

Are you driving? Booth asks amusedly.

Of course I am, I parrot back at Booth and then scowl. And I’m a pilot, not a driver.

Booth chuckles as he slides his medical bag across the floor toward an empty seat and then reaches out the shuttle's door to retrieve another bag. I might need to strap on a laser or two, he chortles as he trots to the seat and fastens the restraints.

Seeing that Tigani's shuttle has already departed, I quickly seal the door. Within seconds, we are in the dark abyss of space. My adrenaline surges as the shuttle leaves the V.

It has been months since I have piloted a shuttle. I have missed it. Even as a battleship commander, I took every opportunity I could to sit in the pilot's seat. I know we will be on Earth in less than fifteen minutes. This may be a fleeting moment of bliss.

I can see Tigani's shuttle in front of mine. She has been a godsend. Even under Rory's command, she has been instrumental in procuring assistance from the most unusual places. The thought of three dozen of us traveling from the landing zone on the coast fifty-five miles to Lorian City and ICE headquarters was worrisome. Procuring transportation for us was just the stroke of luck we needed.

As we near Earth's atmosphere, I tense. I wonder, for a nanosecond, if we will be blown out of the sky. Then I chuckled inwardly. I’m sure Armstrong doesn’t suspect we want his lizard-like Tarian head in the crosshairs. And even if he does know, he will want us to battle him on his turf, just like Angar. Again, I grin. Angar was confident he would triumph against us, and he lost, dying as his heart was impaled by Avon's sword.

I slow the shuttle, watching Lieutenant Hawks' shuttle lands with Tigani and her Freedom Fighters. I can see two large cargo vehicles awaiting our arrival. I see four men standing near them. Then I see their weapons. Why would they have weapons? But then again, they are risking their lives for us, so I force my fear down a notch or two.

Remaining vigilant, I land my shuttle behind Tigani's. Ready yourself for battle, I advise my group.

Do you think there will be a problem? Booth asks, now worried.

Never, ever, let your guard down, I growl. I know Tigani trusts these men, but I don’t know them from Adam.

Booth looks around at the rest of the group, who are already prepared to lock and load. He pulls out a laser and holds it in his hand. Does anyone mind if I go last?

Jake laughs. I got you, Doc Booth. Just stay behind TyAnna and me.

Booth nods as he takes a deep breath. Being on a battleship under attack is different than hand-to-hand combat. I can’t remember the good doctor ever having to fight. For a split second, I wonder if he forced his way onto the shuttle, hoping to atone for his daughter Cleo's contrition. I push the thought out of my head. This isn’t the time to be distracted by Cleo's betrayal.

I open the shuttle door and lead the way; fourteen men and women follow. I approach Tigani and her group. Tigani is already greeting the drivers of the trucks. She is smiling and joking with them. My level of fear drops another few notches.

I glance back at my group and smile. I can see Booth standing in the rear. He isn’t able to hide his trepidation. I wonder why he is so nervous, and paranoia starts to raise its ugly head. Does he know something I don't? I draw my attention back to Tigani.

Tigani smiles. Jax, meet Jones. We went to the Academy together. He got us the trucks and has offered us his services.

He can be trusted?

I trust him, Tigani smiles. We should get into the transports and be on our way. We have a place just outside Lorian City we can use as our headquarters. I have arranged everything.

I nod as I shake Jones' hand. Follow me, Jones offers as we follow him to the rear of the vehicle.

While fourteen people follow me, twenty-four follow Tigani. Ten ICE soldiers jump out of each vehicle as we reach the truck bed.

Holy shit! I scream as I raise my plasma blaster to defend myself. I hear the group behind me jumping back to take a defensive stand.

Then I look at Tigani, who is laughing. Surprised? she asks.

You set this up? I scream.

Yes, Tigani gloats.

I look at Corbin, who looks just as shocked as me. Did you know about this? I bellow.

No, Corbin replies, looking back and forth between the woman he shares a bed with and me.

Why? I ask Tigani. Why?

You really don't know? Tigani scowls.

I shake my head quickly from side to side. No.

I have been waiting for this moment for twenty years, maybe longer. I was in love with you, but you never noticed me.

This is about unrequited love? I ask while seeing the anger on Corbin's face.

You thought I left with Rory because I believed in the cause, revenge for Avon's parents and the others being murdered. But I left because I couldn’t stand to see you day after day. Hell, you never recognized I was in the same room as you. And then, after you decided to raise Avon, your life became about her. Everything was about her. I couldn’t stand it anymore. I spent years making a fool of myself trying to get you to notice me. I couldn’t be the butt of the jokes another day. So, I left.

"You have been working with Armstrong all this time?

No, Tigani replies. This is a recent change in allegiance. This is all about me. Not Armstrong.

Is this about killing me? All because I never noticed you?

Yes.

You have held this grudge all this time?

Little by little, I have gotten my own revenge. I hired Owaga to kill Jeremy's mother and set up the meeting with him and Hanson. Then I framed Owaga to take the fall for the attack on Camp Valor. He had to die. And Avon killed him for me.

And Cleo? I ask, now suspicious of every accusation Tigani had made, every investigation she led.

Oh, that was easy, Tigani laughs. While she thought she was using her Glorcan charms on an unsuspecting human, he played her. All I had to do was threaten to kill her parents, and Cleo did exactly what I needed her to do. Then the tribunal made sure she wasn’t sentenced to death. Of course, she is happy to take care of all those orphaned brats. She gets to live.

I can hear Booth before I see him charge through the crowd toward Tigani. Let me kill her, he growls.

Corbin quickly steps in front of Booth to stop him. I can see the angst on Corbin's face. He is torn between his loyalty to me and his love for Tigani. Just as quickly, Corbin turns and faces Tigani. And you played me too? he asks her.

I knew where you were every minute you led Avon and Jeremy to the shuttle. I was tracking every step you made.

But I was scanned for chips and transponders, Corbin rebuts.

It’s not in your body. It’s in the bracelet I gave you. Luckily, you never take it off except during the scan, Tigani snickers and continues addressing Corbin. I never believed Avon would win against her uncle and be crowned the Queen of Zarcon. Otherwise, I would have killed her myself. Then Jax could feel the heartache I felt. And I would have killed your precious Alia too.

Chapter 3

Corbin and I are immediately cognizant of Tigani's jealousy and resentfulness of Alia and Avon. Alia was Corbin’s first love. And his love for Avon is more than one of a protector. It is more like the affection of a big brother.

Corbin looks at me and back at Tigani. I gasped as he moved to the left of Tigani and stood at her side. I can’t fathom him siding with Tigani. Then Corbin smiles like he is concealing a secret.

Faster than it took Corbin to wink at me, he grabs Tigani while pulling his knife from its sheath.

Before I can exhale, Tigani has taken her last breath. Corbin slit her throat in one quick swipe of the blade across her neck. As Tigani's body slumps in his arms, Corbin vehemently pushes her corpse onto the ground in front of him.

I got your back, Corbin calls out as he turns, levels his plasma blaster, and opens fire on the Freedom Fighters.

I don’t have to do the math to know my squad is greatly out-manned more than three to one. There are still nineteen Freedom Fighters loyal to Tigani and twenty-four ICE soldiers surrounding the fifteen of us.

Kill the ICE soldiers, I scream to my squad as the first Freedom Fighter hits the ground. I turn, and everyone turns with me. I fire first, hitting Jones. I smile as he goes down.

I aim my laser at the soldier standing next to Jones' corpse. Kill them! I scream again, realizing Jake, TyAnna, and Clary are the only ones attacking the soldiers. I turn to help Corbin with those who have betrayed us.

Corbin has taken a defensive position behind one of the transports and is systematically taking down the traitors. Without counting, I know at least half of them have already succumbed to Corbin's plasma blaster. The carnage is sickening. I knew these people, and they have betrayed me. My heart is conflicted, but I must concentrate on staying alive and fighting my way out of this fiasco.

I had just killed three more of the turncoats when I heard Clary scream in agony. I glanced in her direction for a split second. She was hit in the leg. I smile proudly when she doesn’t go down and keeps fighting.

While Clary needs medical care, I hear her call out to Dr. Booth, who is rushing toward her. Take care of the others first, she yells. I got this.

Oh! Hell! No! Clary bellows just seconds later as one of the soldiers approaches her with a knife, expecting to kill her. Dragging her injured leg behind her, Clary stumbles as the soldier lunges forward. The soldier trips on Clary's outstretched leg. It takes only a second for Clary to reach out, and with her own knife, she quickly slices the man's ankle. Clary's signature move is to cut her opponent's Achilles heel. The soldier won’t be able to stand.

Clary rolls over and plunges her knife into the soldier's throat.

Fighting is going on all around me. I can’t keep up with everyone. While my squad is battling for their lives, I’m fighting for mine. I’m not sure how many Freedom Fighters or ICE soldiers have died.

Jake must have been reading my mind. Thirteen! he calls out, enumerating the number of ICE soldiers lying dead on the ground. I’m relieved Jake and TyAnna are on my side. Together, the two are a force to be reckoned with. Both are a lot like Corbin. While Corbin doesn’t call out his conquests, I know he has killed at least half of them.

Fourteen! Clary calls out a moment later. She is still on the ground, using one of the corpses as a shield.

Stiffs are quickly piling up, and we still have at least twenty opponents. I quickly looked around our battlefield. Three of my squad are dead. Another two are severely injured. Booth is doing his best to give them medical attention while the remaining five of the team make a vain attempt to stay alive. I can see their trepidation and fear. No matter how much training a new recruit receives, the first battle can render anyone a coward.

Kill them, you sissies! Corbin screams. I don’t have time to save your pansy asses!

The youngest of the group, not incapacitated, looks at Corbin. The fear on her face shows she is more afraid of Corbin than the soldiers trying to kill her. Maribel is barely nineteen. I can see the tears streaming down her cheeks. She is scared. And I’m frightened for her.

Slowly she forces herself to her feet. It took only a second for one of the soldiers to put her in his crosshairs.

Maribel! I scream. Behind you!

Maribel twirls, pushing the trigger of her laser the entire time. The beam from the laser cuts through the air until she finally makes contact with the soldier rushing toward her.

As the soldier falls to the ground, Maribel nearly collapses along with him. She struggles to catch her breath as she begins hyperventilating. The first kill is the worst. It changes who you are in a split second. It’s an innocence that can never be recovered.

Say it! Jake demands.

What? Maribel sobs while gasping for air.

What is the count?

Fif - teen, Maribel grunts pausing between syllables.

Sixteen, TyAnna laughs maniacally as another ICE grunt falls to his demise.

Seventeen, I scream just seconds later.

I glance at Lincoln, the oldest of the new recruits. He is behind the far truck, engaged in hand-to-hand combat with the last of the transport drivers. He is losing. I aim my laser at Lincoln's combatant and fire.

Eighteen, I enumerate as I storm toward Lincoln. I thought I had selected ten exceptional recruits. All had volunteered. All were eager to be a member of the team. All had excelled in their training. Maybe I was wrong. I can’t save your ass and mine, I huff.

I was doing my best, Lincoln rebuts, almost in tears. I was trying to help Tarek.

Where is he? I ask and then look at the transport that Booth is using as a makeshift medical bay.

They killed him. They murdered my boy, Lincoln sobs as the first tear escapes his eyes.

Your boy? I ask as I see Tarek's body lying on the ground several feet behind Lincoln.

My son, Tarek is my son.

I struggle to recall Lincoln's history. I remember he was born on Earth and kidnapped when he was barely ten years old after being orphaned. Lincoln had been a zalav, a slave, in the home of a Zarcon Senator before being sent to the fields when he was barely sixteen. I didn’t know Tarek was his son.

I was trying to help Tarek get to the truck, to Doctor Booth. But the soldier attacked me. I was fighting to save Tarek. And now he is dead.

I had seen Lincoln's determination throughout the training. He pushed himself to his limits time and time again. I thought he had volunteered to be a soldier to save Avon. Now I realize he did it to be near his son. He was doing for his son what I was trying to do for my daughter.

Nineteen, Raja calls out in a broken timbre.

We need to get out of here and fast, Booth yells. I can’t save Yates and Bram under these conditions. We need to retreat!

Get out of here! Corbin bellows. Take a transport and go! I’ll take care of the rest of these bastards. I’ll give them a one-way ticket to hell.

Chapter 4

I look at Corbin. I know he is doing what is best for all of us. And while I don’t like the thought of leaving him to fight