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    Last Christmas Skid Marks: A Very Skid Marks Christmas
    Last Christmas Skid Marks: A Very Skid Marks Christmas
    Last Christmas Skid Marks: A Very Skid Marks Christmas
    Ebook26 pages21 minutes

    Last Christmas Skid Marks: A Very Skid Marks Christmas

    By April Ryder

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    About this ebook

    Worst. Christmas. EVER >.<

    Before Paul left Hayley for a blonde stick insect and a job in Wellington, he and Hayley—mostly Hayley—liked to host Christmas lunch. Join them for the Christmas before the pancakes hit the fan—in the book One Skid Mark—and enjoy a festive southern hemisphere Christmas lunch with Hayley's dysfunctional yet loveable family—and Paul.

    Hilarity ensues as Hayley hosts the Christmas lunch from hell. Whatever can go wrong, will on what should be the jolliest day of the year!

    A Fun BBW Christmas Short


    "You know what pisses me off the most about Christmas? I'll tell you. It's all that northern hemisphere crap. The snow, the roaring fires, and being trapped inside with family you choose not to see at any other time of the year. Here in New Zealand it's summer and that's not weird to us, only to you if you're from the 'north.' So get used to seeing Santa with a surfboard, Rudolph with a sunburn, and a fricken Kiwi on top of my goddamn Christmas tree! Oh and pancakes for brekkie!"
    — Hayley

    Warning: This story is set in New Zealand and is therefore written in New Zealand English.

    This short Christmas fiction is a prequel story to the wildly popular Skid Marks series. A romantic roller derby comedy that revolves around Hayley (the BBW heroine) who joins the local derby team in the fictional town of Selby, New Zealand.

    Please note: there is no roller derby in this book and very little romance, as it is a prequel and short Christmas story.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherPlutoid Press
    Release dateNov 14, 2016
    ISBN9781927236789
    Last Christmas Skid Marks: A Very Skid Marks Christmas
    Author

    April Ryder

    Rock star, catwalk model, ventriloquist—April Ryder is none of these things. She is, however, a BBW housewife looking to spice up her sex life with her hardworking and supportive BBM (is that even a thing?) husband. April enjoys living on the beach and plans to further explore her sexy, sensual side writing romance.

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      Book preview

      Last Christmas Skid Marks - April Ryder

      Last Christmas Skid Marks

      April Ryder

      Copyright © 2015 April Ryder

      978-1-927236-78-9

      This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the author's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

      All rights reserved.

      No part of this publication can be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, without permission in writing from April Ryder except for the use of short quotations in a book review.

      Cover images provided by

      FCG / Shutterstock

      Emilia Stasiak / Shutterstock

      Cover fonts:

      Good Foot © Jakob Fischer

      American Typewriter

      Last Christmas Skid Marks

      =^.^=

      My chest was killing me. My skin felt like it was in the middle of an inferno. An inferno of ants crawling all over my poor bloated body as I lie precariously sprawled across the top of my bed. My body, it burns! It burns!

      I scrunch up my eyes and ask myself, why didn't I remember to use sunblock yesterday? What on earth made me think I could avoid the sun—in the middle of summer—at my work's Christmas party? Stupidity. It was the only possible reason. As my skin would go pink at the slightest glimpse of the sun, you'd think I'd know better. At least I had the presence of mind to cover up. Only some of my chest, arms, and lower legs have suffered from lobsterfication, and that's the official medical term for my current condition.

      I couldn't stay here all day as I had things to do and people coming over. So I started rocking back and forth, intending to use science to get me out of bed without having to bend any of my burnt parts. Five minutes later—getting out

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