Not that Girl: A Tell-All Memoir

© 2016 by Brittney McWilliams

This work is a memoir. Events, actions, and consequences over a period of years have been retold as the author presently recollects them.

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, photocopied, recorded, scanned, or other-except for brief quotations and in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Cover Image: Lilli Passero

Editors: Rae Longest & Mona Carter

Cover Design: Brittney McWilliams

Published in Atlanta, Georgia by B Reel, LLC.

eBook ISBN: 978-1-63587-731-1

Print ISBN: 978-1-63587-737-3

Printed in the United States of America

~FROM THE AUTHOR~

When I decided to write a memoir, I knew I was putting myself in the position to be talked about, hated, judged, or laughed at. Knowing this, I decided to share my life story anyway. This is the real-life, true story, of a girl who has been through many ups and downs. I did and said some things I am not proud of, I allowed myself to stay in situations that almost destroyed me, and I gave my all to boys who did not deserve anything from me.

I don’t claim to have it all together. I don’t even claim to have it somewhat figured out, but I do know that sharing my story will help inspire and encourage others. The things that I have been through in my life are not for me to have an interesting story to tell people. I was brought out of those things to let others know that they too can make it out of whatever circumstance they find themselves in.

While writing this memoir, I felt like my heart was cut open, and all the hurt and anger I didn’t know I still had inside was released with every word I typed. Sharing my story brought healing and closure to my soul, and I pray that it brings you to a place of healing and closure as well. I can’t change the past, but I can make a better future for myself. I realized that I hold the key to my happiness and to the doors that I choose to unlock.

I unlocked the wrong doors for far too many years, and I thank God for being there to help me shut doors that were not right for me. I also acknowledge Him for shutting and locking the ones I could not close myself.

I once needed acceptance, approval, worldly love, and a certain status to define who I am, but now I choose to define myself by who I am in Christ and who I am as a person. No longer am I the girl who is afraid of failure because I know that God holds my future in His hand, and I will not be afraid.

I wrote this memoir to show you how far you can go if you step out on faith. No matter what your past looks like, and no matter how bad things look for you at this moment, you can get to your Garden of Eden if you trust God and take the jump. Stop existing and start living.

There are a lot of things that I’m not, hence the title of this book. I’m not the prettiest, richest, smartest, or skinniest woman in the world. I’m not the girl who gets the guy. I’m not the perfect mom, daughter, sister, and friend, but one thing that I am not that I am very proud of, is that I am not the girl I once was.

I could go on and on about my bad nots, but this book is not about that. It’s about how I turned my nots into cans, my cans into dos and my dos into does. I hope reading this memoir helps you realize that sometimes what you are not, makes you everything you are. 

I used to be the girl who was weak. The girl who felt she deserved nothing but sloppy seconds. The girl who would seek love from men instead of believing that the love from her Father in Heaven was enough. I used to be that girl, but I am NOT THAT GIRL anymore.

In this raw, and brutally honest memoir, Brittney McWilliams bares her soul and offers a glimpse of what she has endured on her journey to get to where she is today. She tells her story about growing up without her father, enduring sexual abuse, losing her brother, and how she later found herself falling into Satan’s arms. Her life has been full of many twists and turns, but not all of them have been bad. She gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, survived a life-threatening disease, made her dream of being on television a reality, and overcame not only one horrible relationship, but two.

Brittney has endured and persevered through some of the most heartbreaking situations, but she has come out on top. She wrote Not That Girl: A Tell-All Memoir, to reach the hearts of many women, young and old, who are walking on the path she found herself was walking on just a few short years ago. Not feeling good enough, seeking approval and acceptance, and feeling unworthy are a few of the very real, and very raw emotions that Brittney shares in her memoir.

            In her memoir, Brittney takes you on the inside view of what it was like preparing for and filming the reality show she was blessed to be a part of, Redneck Island: Battle at the Lake. She exposes her thoughts on the boys, challenges, and gives a snapshot of what it was like living in a house with twenty-three strangers. 

            Instead of letting her past define her, Brittney continues to strive for her dreams of becoming an Actress, TV Personality, and a successful business owner. Throughout her story, she shows the true meaning of the three well-known words, never give up. Even with incredibly high odds stacked up against her, Brittney persevered and is enjoying her journey to stardom with her biggest inspiration, her son.

~ABOUT THE AUTHOR~

At the ripe age of 27, Brittney has enough life experience to relate to most women and even some men. She grew up in a small town, Teague, Texas, and developed a love for God and people at an early age. In her teens, she began to pursue modeling and participated in several beauty pageants eventually landing her biggest title, Miss Black Teen Texas. She served as a missionary in Haiti during her college years and has always lived life with no boundaries. She became a single mother to a handsome son named Cason, but always vowed to never give up on her dream of a better and bigger life. She has been featured on many television shows and was personally invited to be a guest on the Dr. Oz show. After graduating with her Bachelor’s degree from Sam Houston State University, with less than $500 to her name, Brittney decided to take the biggest leap of faith of her life. She and her son moved four states away from all their family and friends so she could pursue her dreams of being in the entertainment industry full-time and continue her mission to give her son the best life possible. She has always had a passion to write, share, and help others. This inspired her to start her own business, B Reel, LLC. She is the CEO of her blog, B Reel, www.breelblog.com, and the author of her self-published memoir, Not That Girl: A Tell-All Memoir. If you ever meet her, you will see the bright smile she always has on her face and be assured she will greet you with open arms and a listening ear. She and her son currently reside in Atlanta and are on the road to making their dreams come true.

Brittney is available to come to your event. For more information or to book an event, contact Brittney at breelblog@gmail.com.

This book is dedicated to the love of my life, Cason Merritt. You will never know how you have saved and changed me. I found renewed purpose when you came into my life, and I vow to love, protect, and laugh with you every day. I will love you until my last breath. Here’s to us, my baby boy. We did it!

DeDe, Nana, and Uncle Chris, I wish you all were here to witness all that God is doing in my life. I know you would be proud of me and would be celebrating the release of my memoir.

I miss you every day.

~CONTENTS~

From the Author

The Journey to Stardom

About the Author

Dedication

Introduction

CHAPTER ONE: Small Town, Big Dreams

CHAPTER TWO: Movie Fathers

CHAPTER THREE: Poor People Meals

CHAPTER FOUR: Front Pew Baby

CHAPTER FIVE: Brown Skin and Big Lips

CHAPTER SIX: A Family Torn Apart

CHAPTER SEVEN: Something Is Better Than Nothing

CHAPTER EIGHT: On Top of the World

CHAPTER NINE: Dancing with Satan

CHAPTER TEN: Just a Girl and Her…Worms?

CHAPTER ELEVEN: The Dance Continues

CHAPTER TWELVE: Dancing with Satan…Again

CHAPTER THIRTEEN: Mail-Order Fiancé

CHAPTER FOURTEEN: The Wrong Path

CHAPTER FIFTEEN: The Scariest Moment of My Life

CHAPTER SIXTEEN: A Love I Never Knew

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: The Mini-Big City

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: Phone Calls

CHAPTER NINETEEN: Planes and Pecan Pie

CHAPTER TWENTY: We’re Doing What?

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE: Weave and Water Don’t Mix

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO: Four Simple Words

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE: The Opportunity of a Lifetime

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR: Sometimes Jumping comes with Bruises

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE: My Dark Place

Afterword

Words of Wisdom

Acknowledgements

~INTRODUCTION~

The main question I am always asked is, when did I know I wanted to be in entertainment? The answer? Since birth. I was always a free spirit growing up. Hollywood lights sparkled in my eyes before I knew how to spell my name. I knew I wanted to be in front of the camera with my name in lights inspiring thousands of girls and women all over the world. There was not a doubt in my mind that I would make it.

This was before I realized how brutal and rejection-filled the entertainment industry can be at times. I miss that naivety. The innocence of not being afraid of failure was always my best quality. I was not what I consider a normal child. While other children my age wanted toys and dolls, I wanted a camcorder, microphone, and someone to