Winning Wisdom

WINNING WISDOM

An intellectual stepladder for all-round success in life.

Prof. Dr. Christopher Thomas PhD

Smashwords Edition, Copyright 2012

License Notes: All rights reserved. The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this book. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the author, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser. First Edition published in India by Cinnamon Teal Print and Publishing. Illustrations by Eduardo Mesa, Philippines.

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This book is dedicated

To

The Memory of My Parents

Foreword

Dr. Christopher Thomas in this book, Winning Wisdom, has been able to compile the best of humanistic psychology by explaining in open and clear language the teachings of Abraham Maslow, Carl Rogers, Albert Ellis, and Rollo May.

It truly is a heartfelt experience for me as a psychologist to see that these major psychological theories are being kept alive and once again are contributing to the wellbeing and uplifting of people. The positive nature and scope of this book can help the reader overcome an array of interpersonal problems.

Dr. Thomas has captured the art of storytelling and narrative writing in this book. His excellent communication skills allow the reader/learner to attach his or her own reality. This book provides a substantial contribution to the modern-day human potential movement.

On a more personal note, it has been my honor to be invited to make these foreword remarks to a well-written piece of humanistic literature.

John M. Toothman PhD

Professor of Psychology

Goldey-Beacom College (USA)

Board of Governors/External Scholar

Intercultural Open University Foundation (NL)

Table of Contents

Foreword

Preface

Chapter 1 - Beginning of Life’s Journey

Chapter II - Success and Failure in Life

Chapter III - Seek a Rich Life

Chapter IV - Dominant Virtues Complimenting a Successful Life

Chapter V - Causative Factors for Failure in Life

Chapter VI - Outcome of Our Sensible Approaches and Choices

Chapter VII - A New World Order

About the Author

Preface

Life is an indefinite journey where knowledge and thoughtfulness are crucial at every step to overcome the many hurdles and uphill tasks that one may encounter on the way. To ensure success in every sphere at every stage in our journey through life and win it at its best, we got to be conscious of all possible ambiguities ahead and attain essential skills to overcome any eventualities. Unless we are triumphant in life, and let our lives be fine example for future generations, we would not have done justice to our own existence or contributed to the progress of humanity by any measure.

It is due to lack of knowledge or for misapprehensions by and large one end up in failures. Some are fortunate enough to get well-timed guidance and support from their parents or guardians or teachers or from such dependable sources in their early life and help leading a successful life later. But at an average, it is not the case for many. I considered this aspect a serious challenge and therefore my part of responsibility as well to the extent possible to help in providing some insights in this direction to my readers, especially the younger ones, so that they are not likely to have left behind at the bottom of the ladder of success for want of advice.

To be successful in life is everyone’s ambition and a requisite. Our earlier knowledge of causative factors for success and failure in life will surely help design our existence the way we want it to be. Indeed, this is because of the basic fact that it is our own thoughts and actions determining the course of our life. By identifying and recognizing such factors - positive or negative influencing the course of our lives - we can certainly decide on our future strategies and take care to craft a happier world for ourselves than being left out in a world of misery. Therefore, let us go ahead and explore our hearts honestly, look deeper within us and thus by improving it further, enter into a world of greater wisdom.

As we all know, our life is an open book and this world itself our best teacher. From day one till the end of our life, we go through the process of learning diverse subjects in diverse conditions. Each leaf of the book of life is filled with new experiences perhaps precious perhaps not but never useless. It is like getting filled in page after page, chapter after chapter. The truth is that, irrespective of the volume and kind of education we receive in various disciplines, we still find it lacking sense in some real-life areas. Each day we add something new in our book of life. We are here on earth to stay only for a short period, learn many things, and tell others about our experience, so that others may be pre- warned and live more effortlessly, successfully. We may even rewrite some of our past experiences helping others to bypass those very same difficulties in their lives, which we had to encounter and overcome in strenuous ways.

We shall not think of only acquiring money, property, or prestige and be obsessed by these material gains because, when we die some of these possessions will pass on to others who could use them in wrong pursuits for which we will have passive responsibility. In the sands of time, only memories of our good deeds will remain echoed, such as our kindness to others in some form. Therefore, the pages of our book of life should be filled with cheerful memories rather than with pages we would prefer to tear out forever. One who creates such opportunities to rewrite every fresh page of the book of life to carry the aroma in our life we lived and left behind, is a sure winner. In the same way we too are for sure benefited by experiences of others whom we have seen, heard and believed and our life might have actually become reflective or responsive of such happenings. While some of those incidents could have engraved deep impressions, others could have made lesser impacts.

We wish for success all over life in everything we do but forget that we are human beings who cannot evade or run away from some common problems. Practical option therefore is to gain courage and resolve to face adversities head on with full preparedness in a wise manner. To dream anything we want to dream about is the real beauty of human mind. Similarly, to do anything that we want to do is the strength of human will. But know that, to have confidence in ourselves and to test our limits is our true ability to win in life.

It is true that even if we cannot expect to explore and resolve all the mysteries of this universe during our times itself, in my opinion we can certainly expect and work towards leaving behind a little more civilized and intellectual world for our future generations. This constructive attitude and supportive approach of each impending generation for their children can change the world for the better and more desirable a place to live and benefit from in the future. We should live our lives with this encouraging objective in our minds.

Naturally we expect our good earth to remain as it is in shape and features, and in all probabilities it will do so for a few more billions of years. Our stay in this world as visitors is only for a short spell; the day will eventually arrive sooner or later for every one of us to say goodbye to it. Therefore, as long as we are here, we must be able to make the most out of it by living a successful, enjoyable and glorious life. We better remember that we cannot hope to change the world to suit all our tastes, but what is possible for us is to conduct ourselves in a realistic way and live along with others amicably. This outlook should make our lives attractive, comfortable and meaningful. It is also fundamental point that we should leave this world in a constantly improving state than what it was when we arrived, enriched by our valuable contributions however small we count them are. This book is an attempt in that direction, exploring several – large and narrow – avenues of life where millions of our ancestors have already walked, leaving behind for us ample knowledge and traditions to learn and follow. Thus every subsequent generation will find it easier to pick up the thread of knowledge from the point their predecessors had left and can attempt improving it further.

When we honestly look at the wide spectrum of population, we are all the more convinced that a large portion of them are either uninterested or unmindful in equipping and augmenting themselves with even very simple but essential knowledge that is crucial for enriching their own lives. I cannot comprehend why is it so? They may say; we will take on the world as it comes. We should accept the fact that well-run techniques and their proper understanding are essential factors in pulling off the best of philosophy of life. It is unrealistic to expect everyone to be perfect in all areas in life, or is eager to lead only a great and meaningful life. Nonetheless, no single individual can be all knowing and capable to deal with the whole world.

Exercising self-confidence and truthful interface – two major qualities that matter much in life – should help us to win the respect and love of others. These virtues are expected to bring along with them many other qualities that are referred to in this book and help enable everyone who follows it honestly to lead a successful life. There are some people, who still believe that a life full of sophistication, pomp and glamour, materialistic possessions in perfect combination and a high place in society – specifically better than their neighbors and peers – makes them happy and the life more pleasant. But unfortunately this is an improbable and pointless view.

Dear readers, human life is a very complex topic – so vast and deep – its subject matters cannot be brought within the scope of one book or several books. This book will just explain few principles in life my readers can relate to and benefit from, which address more important and selected areas of life in my views. This book will surely help the reader to be a little more informed, a little more advanced, and to prepare to face the realities of life with firm determination when time comes. It is my wish that my esteemed readers will profit from the thoughts discussed herein and set-right their course of actions in exact directions if they are not already so, to enable them live a pleasant life to the fullest, care and share with others in mutual respect and understanding for one another and make certain that every one of us belong to the one large universal family that is indebted to contribute to the continuous process of human prosperity by meticulously learning about life and winning it ultimately.

I gratefully acknowledge those who with their positive criticism and suggestions enhanced my creative outlook and encouraged me to come out with this concise edition, and those who extended their support to me in putting in good order and perfecting this volume with technical supports more reader friendly. In the forefront of them is Dr. John M. Toothman PhD, USA, who has very kindly studied, appreciated and written the Foreword for this humble creation as well as our printers, publishers and promoters. Let me borrow the words of J M Red Spicer: "Life is headlong rush into the unknown. We can hunker down and hope nothing hit us or we can stand tall, lean into the wind and say, Bring it on darling,’ and don’t be stingy with the jalapenos. Let our ultimate aim and hope be pinned on winning this precious life.

Author

Chapter 1

Beginning of life’s journey

The term Life means an animate existence, manifesting growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the power of adaptation to the environment, or simply a state of being alive. In the abstract sense, the word soul also is employed to refer to life as in scriptures, meaning life in a person or animal. Vegetation also has life, with the principles of life operating in it, but it does not have a soul. For all human beings, the soul is of paramount importance especially in spiritual sense.

The human form is considered conscientiously as highest of all creatures. This existence by itself is unique and is a bequest in the form of life that everyone has to live fully, and be worthy of it. Despite all appearances to the contrary, life undoubtedly is a movement towards joy. All living souls on earth strive to live happily; but ironically though all are not able to find this absolute happiness in their worldly life. We shall now try to explore deeper, and see how can we make it possible to live a more satisfying, more meaningful life utilizing maximum resources while we still breaths on the face of this earth itself rather than a life after death?

Human beings go through a life full of mysterious lessons that appear to have no end. We are told that the book of life opens before us page after page and we keep leaning them and the process repeat endlessly. Those who learn from experience in life and modify it in order to meet needs suitably end up as winners and those who do not learn from experiences in life are bound to be losers. At some point of our continued learning, the curtain falls by and large unannounced; we leave this world forever.

When we are alive and able to feel the pain of pinch, when our body and soul are united, things manifest because that is when we have our hopes and dreams, strengths and weaknesses, love and hate, avarice, ambition and interests, all contributing to lead a spontaneous life. That life may not be splendid for all with endless fragrance of happiness in it, but still we should at least sporadically and judiciously enjoy this life well.

Now the most intriguing question before us is how could one lead such a winning life with all intricacies of the world stretched before him? The answer is simple and clear; obey and stick to basic doctrines in life. To make it operate the best way, there are just two central ideologies to be meticulously followed and they are: the need to have a clear mind and an urge to win in life. The rest is easy.

1. Have a Clear Mind

It is not money or other worldly possessions that make any one truly happy; it is the mind that is important and responsible for one’s clear stance and ability to form exact decisions in turning life successful. Therefore it is most imperative to possess a clear mind as the principal factor – the first step to turn life successful. Consider the following methods to make it workable; holding mind under absolute control:

* Mind over matters: It is trusted and accepted as an ideal policy. Always set mind over matters. Think positive no matter what the situation looks like. It is easier said than done: but remember that on the thoroughfare of life, there are passengers and drivers. Be the driver yourself; take control of the situation without panicking.

* Foresights and Vision: Make life easier by clever and thoughtful foresights and precise visions; make sure that life is not made harder, unbearable, bewildering, and ultimately wasteful by our own thoughtlessness and foolishness.

* Build own destiny: It is necessary for us to become makers of destiny rather than dreamers of destiny. So, build own destiny than waiting for someone else to deal it on our behalf or by brooding on past failures. Trust own strength, make life vibrant.

* Shun worries: Do not harbour negative emotions like, anger, avarice, hatred or sorrow at heart. Keep mind clear of all worries.

* Be Optimistic: Build an ability to look beyond temporary snags with hope for future.

* Simplicity in Life: Lead a simple life as simplicity in life endows most needed peace of mind.

* Avoid dependency: Do not expect anything from others; same time, do the best you can for others.

* Practice Love: Fill life with love for others, and practice it often.

* Be a model: Try to shine like a bright light placed on a pedestal, wherever you are and whatever precincts you may run into.

* Reject selfishness: Eliminate selfishness from heart. Association of this conduct ruin lives.

* Be Compassionate: Have compassion for others; lend a hand to people passing through miseries. Such times may occur to us too.

* Follow the principle of Jesus: Do unto others, what and how you would expect them to do unto you.

* Be contented: Accept life as it comes, thankfully and with contentment. Murmuring and complaining will never set right life, but only turn things for the worse.

* Be guided by your conscience. He, who is blind to the view of his soul, will not be able to see and enjoy life’s wider magnificent spectrum. One must have the ability to form exact decisions in life.

2. Have the Urge to Win in Life

The second step for winning life is to have fierce determination to become a winner in life. You may have to face many challenges head-on to steadfast your urge to win in life. It is said: ‘Life’s battles are not always won by the strongest or fastest man, but by him who think he can.’ It is the determination that counts most. Life is made beautiful and fragrant with absolute determination and proper execution. An optimistic hunger and strong determination to win are the greatest qualities helping in achieving success. Know the truth that life however one leads, will contain moments of joy and sadness both in it. Occasional blows in life no matter small or big as result of one problem or many problems may lead to draining of your energy and leave you exhausted and discouraged now and then. In such situations the true status of our power and potential is often mystified or unemployed and it is up to us not to feel tired or lost but to get up and rediscover them and put them to best use. It is here our minds needed to be well regulated and our moods well kept under control. If you think you can achieve it, you can certainly do.

A person passes through different stages of developments beginning with the innocent but unpredictable childhood, to restless juvenility, teeming twenties, grasping thirties, firing forties, failing fifties, sagging sixties, self-seeking seventies, aching eighties and perhaps finally the sort of helpless and frustrating survival thereafter. Each stage has its own pleasures and pains both; factors which continue to accompany until the last leg which offer invariably more pain than pleasure.

During childhood, we are under the care and supervision of our parents or guardians, who know the world and us better. So, when we are children we have nothing much to do. Still, it is during this period that we learn to give and love, learn basic societal disciplines and systems. Growth and its associated changes occur very fast in childhood.

Passing through adolescence we enter the age of youthfulness when we feel at the top of the world and nothing seems impossible and do not care much for anyone else. This is certainly the golden time to enjoy the power and beauty of amusing life, even if not the exact taste of life itself.

Here are some simple tips to keep in mind and follow in life:

* Live life well: Do not worry about the future and ruin the present. Live the present duly while planning well for the future.

* Proper planning: Set concrete plans for you on long term basis with clear vision even if destiny of man is unknown or whatever will be, will be. Good planning helps to win life to our side.

* Prioritize goals: Always think of higher goals in personal life, prioritizing on our needs.

* Develop skills especially in areas like athletics, music and dance. Learn to play one or more musical instruments. Take part in games and sports to add vigor and vitality and to discover team spirits.

* Influence of surroundings: Try not to put up with people who are heedless; avoid their company as far as possible so that their negative energy does no influence you.

* Choose right friends: Choose good companions of either sex in the spirit of true friendship.

* Remember compliments: Compliment others when you should. Forget and forgive insults. There is always room for forgiveness and understanding enabling everyone to enjoy life. A little effort in that direction pays rich dividends in the form of peace and contentment.

* Exercise Wisdom: Be careful not to fall victim to the evil-minded. Such people are there in all societies. Wisdom plays crucial part in identifying and isolating them and to enjoy a blissful life.

* Endurance in life: Do not congratulate or belittle yourself too much; do not brood on mistakes. Endure good and bad times.

* Discrete life prospects: Remember, our choices are based on chances like everybody else’s. Handle prospects with equanimity.

* Enhance confidence: Comparing yourself to the most able or gorgeous may make you feel dismal. Believe in your own confidence and assets and try to enhance them by hard work and vision.

* Respect parents: Being nice to our parents and learning from them when they are still around is our duty and privilege, as we never know when they will be gone, losing them with all their wisdom.

* Love your children: We should take good care of our children. Guide them when they really need help, because they are our priceless assets and link to our future. They are people most likely to be with us during good times and bad times as well truly and unconditionally love us. They are dependable at all times.

* Respect elders: Demonstrate due respect to elders and give them love, money, protection and whatever they need, unconditionally.

* Fulfill our obligations: We are indebted to perform our duties to parents, brothers, sisters and those who work with us, as well as to society and the entire humanity in good spirits.

* Your external support: Do not expect others to support you when you are weak, in pain or going through bad times. Consider it a boon if support comes from any source during times of your needs.

* Role of intelligence: When we have clear and sound mind, figure out priorities in life, whether it is job, family, politics, or whatever; and say No to everything else so that we may be perfect in what we do. When we have to make significant decisions, it is important to ascertain what is essential in life, what is to be pursued, and what is to be shunned. Intelligence plays key roles in winning life.

Undoubtedly, life is a process of eternal learning. When we master one thing, yet another is ready for learning, and it continues so throughout life. Such continuous learning is what is responsible for the creation of experts or those whom we may call winners. This precision is applicable to both body and mind. Learn to have the will to overcome sorrows, with dedication and genuine understanding, treating it also as part of life. We may have to fight many odds to see through and end our life as a winner. Only a life lived for the delight of others is worthwhile a name; not a life good-for-nothing or good-for-no one.

Always find time to lend a hand to those who may need your help, for all are not as blessed and as fortunate as we are and such opportunities are plenty around in our society. The better part of it is that such wonderful times can be cherished over and over in life and can feel proud of.

Man is a social being and as such, being in the company of others generally gives us pleasure, depending upon the nature of our companions. Therefore it is indispensable to choose friends discretely. Choose like-minded people for fast and lasting friendships; those who will miss us when we are not with them. In the company of good friends, one will pleasantly feel that life is taking different