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    Brian: Mental Book 1
    Brian: Mental Book 1
    Brian: Mental Book 1
    Ebook63 pages1 hour

    Brian: Mental Book 1

    By Marcus Freestone

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    About this ebook

    The first in a series of novellas on the theme of psychological trauma and the ignorance and prejudice surrounding mental illness. Brian's depression and drinking are ruining his life, and eventually he reaches breaking point and is forced to take drastic action. Will he be able to bring his life back from the brink of disaster?

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherMarcus Freestone
    Release dateJan 5, 2017
    ISBN9781370054206
    Brian: Mental Book 1
    Author

    Marcus Freestone

    My main work is the T14 series of thrillers about a futuristic, high tech counter terrorism agency headed by a man with a computer implant in his brain. The first book "The Memory Man" is permanently free in e-book. I also have a series of novellas on the subject of mental health and psychology. My most popular book is "Positive Thinking And The Meaning Of Life" which has had 200,000 downloads. It deals with psychology, philosophy, depression, anxiety, mental health in general and the human condition.I have also released more than 50 albums, ranging from metal and rock to jazz and ambient/electronica. And last but not first I also produce the "Positive Thinking And The Meaning Of Life" podcast and "The Midnight Insomnia Podcast", a comedy show with ambient music and abstract visual images.

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      Book preview

      Brian - Marcus Freestone

      MENTAL

      BOOK ONE: BRIAN

      A SERIES OF NOVELLAS

      by

      MARCUS FREESTONE

      ALL MATERIAL © COPYRIGHT MARCUS FREESTONE 2016.

      ISBN 9781370054206

      Smashwords Edition, License Notes:

      This e-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This e-book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      ALSO AVAILABLE BY MARCUS FREESTONE FROM SMASHWORDS:

      FICTION

      THE T14 SERIES

      The Memory Man: T14 Book 1

      Random Target: T14 Book 2

      Just Murder: T14 Book 3

      Two Serial Killers, A Wedding And A Funeral: T14 Book 4

      Never Kidnap A Serial Killer: T14 Book 5

      THE MENTAL SERIES

      Book 2: Gemma

      The Least Resistance

      Ethelbert's Sunday Morning (short stories)

      What To Do If Trapped In A Lift With A Dentist (poetry)

      NON FICTION

      Positive Thinking and The Meaning of Life

      101 Ways To Happiness

      Tell Depression To #@%! Off

      The Psychology Of Happiness: Unravelling Self Help Nonsense By Understanding Your Brain

      Donald Trump and Brexit: Misguided Rebellion

      101 Completely Made Up Untrue Facts

      When I was sixteen I would kick holes in the wall of my school and break furniture. The internal walls were very flimsy and they caved in easily, even to my trainers. Nobody noticed but it made me feel a little bit better. There was a manky old armchair in the corner of the manky old common room where I would habitually sit and block out the world with a book or my headphones. I used a mathematical pair of compasses to gouge open the arm and rip out all the stuffing. It was probably a substitute for self harm – I didn't have the guts to cut open my own arm. Once I left a pile of stuffing on the floor. One of my friend's said You'll have to clear that up. No I won't, I said, got up and left. The next day it was gone by some method.

      One day I destroyed the library. Well, I didn't burn it down or anything, though I thought often about that sort of destruction. I was always at school by eight o'clock, half an hour before even any of the teachers, because I lived ten miles away and had to have a lift from my father on his way to work. I would wander around on my own and nose about in classrooms I didn't usually go in, seeking anything to alleviate my pathological boredom. I would often grab some chalk and write something pointless on the blackboard: Aardvark's don't bounce, Sarcasm is the lowest form of shit, Get to Falkirk. Again, nobody noticed but it made me feel a little bit better.

      I was bored on that morning so I decided to turn the library into a modern art sculpture. I put all the chairs onto the tables and arranged hundreds of books onto the floor in random piles. Then I saw how many books I could stack on top of the chairs. I closed the heavy curtains at the windows and over both sets of doors, leaving the room in darkness, and went next door to the common room.

      The first kids that turned up assumed there was a teachers meeting going on so nobody went in. By the time a teacher arrived there were two hundred pupils milling around and nobody ever found out who did it. Looking back now I feel bad that somebody would have had to go through all the books and put them back on the right shelves but that never occurred to me at the time. It was the sort of pointless destruction that can only come from teenage existential frustration.

      At home I spent all my time in my room listening to music and trying to block out the noises in my head: the self-loathing, the deathly boredom, the feeling that absolutely nothing was worth doing and never would be, the constant desire to go to sleep and never wake up, for the whole world to just fuck off and leave me alone.

      Then there was the time I stole the library register. I was nearly eighteen and they were still treating us like little kids. They took a register every period to check that anyone who wasn't in a lesson was in the library studying (they actually used to say It's not a free lesson, it's a study period like John Cleese in the film Clockwise). You were only allowed in the manky common room once a week. I resented this on a deep level. Others were only mildly annoyed by it but it burned away at me.

      One lunchtime I found myself sitting at the desk in the library with a couple of friends and there it was. The A4 green hardback ledger book with all our names in it. After taking the register some teachers would even take it so far as to go into the common room and 'fetch' people. It was draconian and humiliating. It was also legally unenforceable because one teacher told me when I was being 'talked to' for having done something or other that, because we had volunteered to come back to the sixth form, they couldn't give us detention or anything, they could only ask us to cooperate and behave. Once I learned this it took a great weight off my shoulders. I didn't care if

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