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    The JGuy's Teacher's and Parent's Guide
    The JGuy's Teacher's and Parent's Guide
    The JGuy's Teacher's and Parent's Guide
    Ebook104 pages51 minutes

    The JGuy's Teacher's and Parent's Guide

    By Rabbi Joseph B. Meszler

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    About this ebook

    Insights, Ideas and Activities for Discussing with Teen Guys What It Means to Become a Jewish Man

    A step-by-step guide to creative use of The JGuy's Guide: A GPS for Jewish Teen Guys in the classroom or at home. For each chapter in the book, this guide includes enough material for two or three hour-long lessons, each featuring:

    • Clearly stated goals
    • A warm-up activity
    • Guidance on using portions of the book, along with engaging discussion questions
    • A text selection, in Hebrew and English, connected to the topic of the lesson

    This comprehensive teaching tool will help you create a safe space for personal sharing and learning.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherJewish Lights
    Release dateOct 24, 2013
    ISBN9781683367161
    The JGuy's Teacher's and Parent's Guide
    Author

    Rabbi Joseph B. Meszler

    Rabbi Joseph B. Meszler is a noted spiritual leader and educator, recognized for his ability to connect the importance of Jewish tradition with everyday life. He is coauthor of The JGuy's Guide: The GPS for Jewish Teen Guys and author of A Man's Responsibility: A Jewish Guide to Being a Son, a Partner in Marriage, a Father and a Community Leader; Witnesses to the One: The Spiritual History of the Sh'ma and Facing Illness, Finding God: How Judaism Can Help You and Caregivers Cope When Body or Spirit Fails (all Jewish Lights). He is the rabbi at Temple Sinai in Sharon, Massachusetts, and an instructor at the Kehillah Schechter Academy. Rabbi Joseph B. Meszler is available to speak on the following topics: The Spiritual History of the Sh'ma: What "God Is One" Might Mean Not Your Father's Brotherhood: What Being a Jewish Man Meant Then and Now How Judaism Can Help You Cope with Illness Click here to contact the author.

    Read more from Rabbi Joseph B. Meszler

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      Book preview

      The JGuy's Teacher's and Parent's Guide - Rabbi Joseph B. Meszler

      Introduction

      Why The JGuy’s Guide?

      In 2008, Sylvia Barack Fishman, PhD, and Daniel Parmer, MA, of Brandeis University published research that verified what many rabbis and Jewish professionals had known for years: Jewish men were opting out of Jewish life. As a rabbi in a Reform congregation, I had noticed that women were outnumbering men at prayer services and adult education, and often girls would continue participating in Jewish religious and community life after their bat mitzvah when boys would not. My subjective experience was proven true by Fishman and Parmer:

      [Today,] Jewish men have measurably lower rates of ethnic and religious social capital than Jewish women, as characterized by involvement with distinctively Jewish activities and connections with Jewish social networks . . . .

      Jewish women are more likely than Jewish men to say the religion of Judaism is very important to them . . . .

      Liberal synagogues and temples have become the world of our mothers . . . .

      Jewish girls and women attend synagogues more often than Jewish boys and men, especially in Reform and other liberal congregations . . . .

      Jewish women are more likely than Jewish men to have visited Israel, and ranked support of Israel more highly as an important Jewish value.¹

      The complex reasons behind this shift are part of the Western culture in which Jews find themselves today. In America, women tend to put a higher value on religion than men do.² In any case, the problem is not matrilineal ascent, but patrilineal descent.³

      But there are ways to address this gender imbalance in Jewish life today. Fishman and Parmer also found that:

      Jewish men who feel strongly connected to Jews and Judaism often talk about strong male role models when they were growing up . . . . These role models are often recalled in male-only settings, whether religious (synagogues) or secular (card games, etc.) . . . .

      Boys and men—like girls and women—benefit from and enjoy having gender-peer activities. These activities can help bond them to each other as Jewish males, to Jewish peoplehood now and historically, and also to Judaism culturally and religiously. Programs for Jewish boys and men are needed that create positive connections to Jews and Jewishness, beginning with the pre-school years, targeting the all-important middle-school and teen years, and extending over the life cycle of the individual . . . .

      Synagogues and Jewish communal organizations need to find ways to balance the moral principles of egalitarianism with the psycho-social needs of boys and men to spending meaningful time in gendered peer groups.⁴

      This book is a response to the reality of gender imbalance in Jewish life today. The authors of The JGuy’s Guide: The GPS for Jewish Teen Guys believe that Jewish teenage guys need Jewish male role models. We also believe that there is a place for same-gender activities in egalitarian spaces because, just like women, men will talk about things differently with only men in the room. Just as there are women’s seders, Rosh Hodesh women’s groups, and Sisterhoods, there needs to be equally vibrant groups for boys and men.

      Male-only space in a synagogue or other Jewish communal institution must look different than it used to. It cannot be based upon hierarchical power or authority. It needs to be founded on exploring what it means to be a Jewish man informed by Jewish experience and wisdom.

      And let’s face it: guys just want to have fun, too! This teacher’s and parent’s guide has fun warm-up activities and invites groups of Jewish guys in their teen years to create a safe space for personal sharing and learning. Starting with funny and ridiculous ice-breaking activities, it allows Jewish teenage guys to get to know each other before they talk about important topics like courage, bullying, speaking up, frustration, parents, God, spirituality, stress, sex, social action, and character. It presents Jewish sources in a sophisticated way; this is not a dumbed-down Jewish book.

      Perhaps most important, this book includes quotes from interviews with dozens of Jewish teen guys. By engaging the perspectives of their peers, Jewish guys who read this book will feel validated. They will also have their curiosity stimulated and their assumptions challenged.

      This book, therefore, answers a two-fold need. First, it provides an option for post-bar mitzvah involvement in Jewish life. In order to retain Jews after the big party, the Jewish community needs to offer a wide array of options that are flexible in time and place to be able

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