A Calendar of Memories

A Calendar of Memories

By

Doug Lewars

Published by Doug Lewars at Smashwords

Copyright: 2017 by Doug Lewars – All rights reserved.

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite eBook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author

This book is a work of fiction. All characters, names, places, events, incidents and organizations in this book are the work of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, events or locales is purely coincidental and is not intended by the author.

This book is dedicated to all the various kids I grew up with because without you I wouldn’t have the memories I have today.

Table of Contents

Valentine’s Day

Easter

A Week in the Country

Birthday Surprise

Odds n’Ends

Valentine’s Day

So, have you decided what to get Jennifer for Valentine’s Day?

Say, what? asked Greg looking up in surprise from his book describing the political structure of Greece prior to the rise of the Roman Empire.

Valentine’s Day, it’s coming up in a few days you know, replied his mother.

Oh that. I don’t think we’ll bother with it.

And suppose she gets you something?

Huh? No, she wouldn’t do that.

Are you sure? Have you talked about it?

Well, no, it’s not something you talk about.

That how do you know she’s not planning something for you?

Uh, it’s just something we don’t bother with. None of the guys in our class get valentine’s stuff for the girls.

Are the other guys in your class dating? And how do you know they don’t? Have you ever discussed it with them?

Well, no, but they’ve never talked about it.

If you were to get something for Jennifer, would you talk about it with the other guys?

Uh, no. It would be sort of private and sort of embarrassing.

So how do you know they don’t get something if they have a girlfriend?

Uh, well, I guess now that you mention it, I probably wouldn’t know.

So do you think you can risk ignoring the day and face the possibility that she might choose to do something for you? Wouldn’t that be even more embarrassing than getting her something?

Uh, well, I guess when you put it like that … but I really don’t think it’s a good idea.

Oh? And why not?

Well, you know, I mean I like Jennifer and all that, and she likes me too; but, well, I guess we’re sort of going together; but, well, I don’t know … well you know.

You mean you’re not married with five children.

Mom! I mean we’re sort of going together but we’re not really into all that mushy stuff.

Are you certain she isn’t?

Of course she isn’t. She’s a good student. She’s right up there near the top of the class.

Well aren’t you right up there at the top of the class?

You see? That’s right. So we’re both good students.

Ah, I think I see. You’re saying that people who are academically inclined are unlikely to be romantics. Is that it?

Right! Exactly! We’re more interested in books and things than all that romantic stuff.

And yet, didn’t you take her to a dance not too long ago?

Well of course, but that’s just dating.

Oh I see, so dating is essentially a ritual?

Exactly.

And there are clear definitions for what is expected from each participant?

Well, they’re not exactly defined. I mean no-one writes them down, but everyone kind of knows what they are.

And when you think about it, isn’t the celebration of Valentine ’s Day somewhat ritualistic?

Uh, well I suppose you could interpret it like that.

How much do you know about Valentine’s Day?

Un, well I know that it comes every February fourteenth and that it was supposedly started by Saint Valentine.

When you think about how widely it is celebrated, that’s not very much to know is it? After all, you normally are pretty thorough when it comes to learning about things and studying them aren’t you?

Well, yes, but those are things that are mostly related to school.

I see, well isn’t sociology considered part of academia?

Yes.

And wouldn’t you say that cultural observances fall under the category of sociology?

Well I guess so.

So wouldn’t a better understanding of Saint Valentine’s day be appropriate from a scholastic perspective?

Well, I suppose, if you put it that way.

And isn’t participation in a cultural event one way that sociologists, or their cousins anthropologists, derive an understanding of the importance of that particular event within the existing cultural milieu so that they can further their understanding of the underlying society?

Well I suppose … for some of them at least.

So perhaps you should pay a little more attention to Saint Valentine’s Day as it represents an annual event that affects, to a greater or lesser degree, the majority of individuals not only in North America but throughout the world.

Um, I guess.

Which brings me back to my original question. What are you going to get for Jennifer for Valentine’s Day?

Um … well, I guess I should get something.

Yes, I think all things considered that would be a good idea. Candy or flowers are usually considered appropriate gifts.

Yeah, I suppose so.

You sound rather doubtful.

Well candy is really rather unhealthy and flowers die in a few days.

My son the romantic thought Greg’s mother but she was careful not to say that out loud. Instead she countered with, Of course, some people give jewellery. Diamonds are particularly popular.

Mom! You know I can’t afford that!

Well then, perhaps candy or flowers might be somewhat more affordable.

How about a book?

Romantic poetry? Yes, I can see that working.

No way! I was thinking of a science book, but not just any science, something new that’s on the cutting edge!

He can’t help it, thought Mrs. Farkas. I was far too hard on him while I was trying to get him into medical school and it’s warped him. This is my fault so it’s up to me to do whatever I can to fix it. I don’t think a science book is really the best idea, she said mildly.

Why not?

Well, after Valentine’s Day, the girls with boyfriends will probably discuss how they celebrated and if most of the girls receive chocolate or flowers and Jennifer receives a book on science she won’t fit in.

Oh that’s okay. She can be unique.

Jennifer’s descended from people of Japanese origin isn’t she?

Well, yes.

So isn’t it possible that through her family traditions she’s picked up a certain amount of Japanese cultural influence over the years?

Uh, I suppose so. I really don’t know. We’ve never talked about it.

Well if she has, then it’s quite possible that she would like to fit in with the other girls because solidarity is considered quite important to the Japanese.

Is it?

Oh yes. It’s considered to be extremely important. Greg’s mother was bluffing. She had no idea as to the degree of Jennifer’s individualism or lack thereof, and she had equally no idea as to what, if any, Japanese cultural influences might have impacted on Jennifer or even what they might be if they had; but she figured Greg didn’t know either.

Do you really think that girls would talk about stuff like that?

Constantly, thought Greg’s mother. Well I think it may happen now and then.

Hmmm, guys never talk about that sort of thing.

Perhaps they’d be better off if they did, thought Greg’s mother. No? Well, perhaps guys are a little more reserved.

Actually, I’m not sure I really like the thought of girls talking about that.

Then perhaps you’d better take stock and measure up. It might be a little unsettling to think about.

There wasn’t any immediate rush. His mother had prudently raised the issue on a Friday, a full week before Valentine’s Day so he had plenty of time to come to grips with the issue. In addition to persuading him he couldn’t ignore the date, she had also inadvertently peaked his curiosity, so the next day being Saturday, he found himself in the library looking up a few details regarding Saint Valentine’s Day.

There was precious little to find and Greg was a pretty good researcher when it came to making use of library resources. He quickly determined that so little was known about Saint Valentine that he might have been any of three different people, none of whom were, in any way shape or form, associated with romance. In fact, at least one of the three had gone to considerable effort to promote chastity among those to whom he ministered. It seemed the Catholic Church, in an effort to stamp out paganism, had placed a saint’s day directly on top of Lupercalia, an early Roman fertility festival that ran from February thirteenth to February fifteenth.

Greg read that during the feast, priests clad only in goatskins, ran around the city carrying thongs made from the skins of recently sacrificed goats with which they whipped willing young women who lined the route. Being so whipped was supposed to promote fertility among the ladies. He didn’t know how effective that might be, but he was fairly confident that if he suggested giving Jennifer a whipping with a goat thong for Valentine’s Day he was likely to receive a cool reception. Beyond that, Valentine’s Day, despite having a long history, seemed to have one that was largely commercial in nature. Although he couldn’t say whether giving flowers and chocolate actually promoted love, the chocolate, at any rate, was likely to promote dental cavities; so dentists, if anyone, had to be appreciative of the gesture. As for the fertility symbolization, it seemed hardly appropriate in an over-populated world; and, in general, was probably not to be encouraged in females of high-school age.

He had left the library and was on his way home when he ran into Derek.

Hey, how’s it going? asked Derek as he came up to Greg.

Mmmm? Oh not bad. I was just on my way home from the library.

Wow, you sure spend a lot of time hitting the books. Maybe I should do the same. I was just at hockey practice myself.

Oh, I didn’t know you played.

It’s just a minor, household league, but it’s fun and it keeps me active.

Good. Say, I was sort of wondering what I should get Jenny for Valentine’s Day. What do you think?

Lingerie.

What?!!

Sure, get her a really sexy negligee.

I can’t do that!!

Derek laughed, Just kidding. But aren’t you taking her to the dance on Valentine’s Day?

What dance?

There’s a dance at the school since Valentine’s Day is on a Friday this year. You could take her to the dance and present her with some flowers when you pick her up from her house. That should do it.

Good idea. I hadn’t heard about the dance.

I don’t know about you Greg. It was posted on all the bulletin boards. You should at least glance at one from time to time.

Uh, yeah, I guess I am a little distracted now and then.

A little! Man, when you’re thinking about something the entire faculty of the school could strip naked and do the can-can and you’d never notice.

Hey, come on! I’m not that bad.

Pretty close. Anyway, good luck with the dance.

Approximately one mile away from the library, Jennifer, Carol and Ellen sat in Ellen’s recreation room. They had the television on to a dance program but no-one was paying much attention to it. Jennifer and Ellen were seated on the floor with two decks of cards that they were attempting to build into the largest and tallest edifice possible. Carol was curled up in a chair looking over a fashion magazine and considering whether some of the styles were amenable to her level of sewing. She was pretty competent so there were quite a number of possibilities to consider.

They say here, she remarked, That watching television is bad for your health.

Does it count if we’re not really paying attention? asked Jennifer.

Probably, they seem to think we’re not getting enough exercise.

And they’re right! spoke up Ellen. You guys should join me on the track for a dozen laps or so every day. Then you’d be in good shape.

I’ve heard of runners dropping dead in their early twenties, replied Jennifer.

Nonsense! It would never happen.

Wasn’t there an article in the paper about a month ago about some guy in the States who was running a marathon and who had a heart attack and died before completing it? I think the article said he was only twenty-three.

He had a bad heart, decided Ellen.

Well he probably did, but running certainly didn’t make it any better.

He probably didn’t eat right.

Then keep your paws out of the chips.

Hey! We’re at my house and these are my chips so I should be allowed to eat them.

Only if you’re prepared to die before the age of fifteen.

I’m already fifteen! I’ll be sixteen in a few months.

Hmmm, that’s bad. You’d better lie down and rest. What sort of flowers do you want at your funeral?

Well we’re both in the same grade so how old are you?

I’m fourteen.

You can’t be!

Yes, I did grades two and three in one year so I’m a year younger than you.

When will you turn fifteen?

June.

So you’re just a baby.

Oh no, it just seems that way to an old lady like yourself.

I am not old!

Don’t raise your voice. It’s bad for your heart. You’d better take it easy and not exert yourself. No more running to start with.

Hah! Running keeps a person fit. You’re just lazy!

What do you think about diamonds? asked Carol.

What? asked Ellen and Jennifer in unison.

I was looking at this long dress with a diamond pattern around the hem. I can’t decide if I like it or not. She turned the magazine so that they could see the picture.

It’s okay, shrugged Ellen, I never wear dresses like that.

Do you wear dresses at all? asked Jennifer. I’ve never seen you in one.

They’re not really convenient, replied Ellen. I’d look pretty stupid running in a dress.

There are things other than athletics a girl can do.

Such as?

Well, you can go to dances for one thing.

Has Greg invited you to the Valentine’s Day dance?

Not yet; but I plan to work on him next week.

Ellen nodded. You’re going to knock him down and sit on him until he agrees to ask you?

That might become necessary but I’ll start with a few hints and see if I can’t get his attention that way. By the way, what do you think I should get him for Valentine’s Day?

The same thing he’ll probably get for you. Absolutely nothing.

Do you think so? Greg’s pretty considerate really so I think he’ll get me something.

Greg may be considerate but he seldom lives on this planet. I doubt he’s even heard of Valentine’s Day, or, if he has, he probably doesn’t seriously believe it will happen this year just because it’s happened every year for the past few hundred.

Come on! Whatever you say about Greg, you can’t accuse him of being stupid!

Okay. So I’ll concede that he’ll know that Valentine’s Day will come around this year as it has every other year and I’ll even concede that he’ll figure out that it will happen on February fourteenth. But there’s no possible way he’ll figure out it might apply to him.

Ah but if I make him ask me to the Valentine’s Day dance then he’s bound to notice!

Maybe. I’d give it about a fifty-fifty chance.

So what should I give him?

Flowers, said Ellen.

You can’t give a guy flowers!

Actually you can, spoke up Carol, But you’re going to really, really embarrass him if you do.

Well I want something he’d like.

Get him a book on advanced Calculus, said Ellen.

I was hoping for something a little more romantic.

Draw a heart on the inside cover, said Ellen.

Come on guys, a little support here!

Tell you what, said Carol, When you go with him to the dance wear a really short tight red dress with a slit up the side, strapless and with a plunging neckline. A gift like that no guy could ever resist.

I can’t do that! My parents would kill me!

Well, said Ellen, One look at you and Greg would probably drop dead on the spot so the two of you could die together. What could be more romantic than that?

How about you invite Greg to the Valentine’s Day dance? That would kill two birds with one stone, said Carol.

Jennifer thought, Well it’s not a girl-ask-boy dance.

Exactly, so that’s why it would be a good Valentine’s Day gift. I mean it’s not something he would be expecting. Plus, if you ask him to the dance, he’s bound to realize that he has to get you something too.

And you can receive a book on advanced Calculus, added Ellen.

Jennifer giggled, I guess that’s a risk I’ll just have to take.

Then she stopped and considered, You know it does seem a little scary to ask a boy to a dance.

Then you know what they go through when they ask us, replied Ellen.

Tell you what, put in Carol, Why don’t you make up a Valentine’s Day invitation – sort of like a card but inviting him to the dance and then put it in his locker at school so he can just find it. That way you won’t have to actually ask him face-to-face. I mean, you know he’s going to say yes unless his parents plan to take him somewhere that weekend; so you’re pretty safe, but you won’t have to actually say the words if you know what I mean. I think it will make it easier.

That’s a fantastic idea! exclaimed Jennifer, I can cut out a heart and make it lacy. It will be so cute!

Ellen nodded judiciously. And you can save the price of a card while you’re at it.

That’s not it!

Don’t worry about her. Ellen likes to tease you and she really isn’t much for romance.

Ellen’s eyes grew just a little wider and her mouth moved as if she were about to say something but as quickly as it came the expression passed and she returned to her normal cheerful self.

So what are you going to say in the invitation? she asked, Something like, ‘roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, let’s boogaloo’?

No! It’s going to be something like, … um, … something like …

‘Please allow me the honour of escorting you to the Valentine’s Day dance on Friday February fourteenth,’ suggested Carol.

Uh, it’s a little dry and formal, replied Jennifer.

Okay, put in Ellen, Then maybe, ‘Be my Valentine and dance me to the stars, lover-boy’.

Ellen be reasonable!

Reasonable? Very well, then you can go with something like, ‘It has come to my attention following a review of the literature regarding the mating rituals of humans that dancing commonly plays a significant role. It is therefore a viable alternative for me to escort you to the Valentine’s Day dance this coming Friday so that we can perform such scientific research into this phenomenon as may seem practical.’

Jennifer said nothing in reply but gave Ellen a suitably dark look.

Or not, continued Ellen looking as innocent as possible.

Perhaps, ‘At the Valentine’s Day dance, let’s be one couple, because I have two tickets for you,’ hazarded Carol. She emphasized the word ‘for’.

You left out ‘three’, countered Ellen.

It’s an exponential series, replied Carol. You know, powers.

Ah, the powers of love.

Actually it the powers of two.

A perfect couple.

That’s what I was thinking.

I don’t think Greg would get it, said Jennifer.

What?! exclaimed both girls together.

Greg miss a math problem? continued Carol, You’ve got to be kidding!

But it isn’t actually a math problem and while Greg aces math I’m not so sure he’s really into word play.

Hmmm, you could be right, so why don’t you come up with a suggestion? After all, you’re the person who’s going to be sending the card.

Agreed. I am. It’s just that it’s difficult to find the right blend of romance without being too … oh, I don’t know.

Mushy, put in Ellen helpfully.

I guess, replied Jennifer.

But Jennifer, continued Ellen, You are a mushy person so you shouldn’t worry about that sort of thing.

I am not!

You are too!

No way!

Yes you are!

I do like romance, but romance isn’t mushy!

Most of it is.

Is not!

Is too!

Okay girls, settle down, we’ve got a card to write.

Maybe I’ll go with something simple such as, ‘Be my Valentine at the dance on Friday.’

There was silence for a few seconds as everyone considered the possibility. No-one actually said anything, but it was clear from their expression that everyone – including Jennifer who had thought of it – felt it was pretty bland.

Um, maybe ‘Be my special Valentine,’ tried Carol.

No, sighed Jennifer, You’re right. It just isn’t enough.

Well, okay, volunteered Ellen, You want something romantic but isn’t so romantic it oozes sentimentality. How about, ‘Life would be perfect if you’d let me escort you to the Valentine’s Day dance this Friday’.

Jennifer nodded, It’s not bad. I like it. Let’s set that one aside as a possibility and see if we can come up with something even better.

Okay then, said Carol, Maybe something like, ‘Hey Greg, be my Valentine and join me for a night of fun at the Valentine’s Day dance on Friday.’

Also good, or possibly, ‘Greg, you’re really special to me so I’d like to take you to the Valentine’s Day dance to show you just how special you are.’

You’d actually put that in a card?

Jennifer considered. Well, maybe it is a little over the top.

I think it’s good, said Carol.

It’s not bad, conceded Ellen, But are you ready to say something like that to Greg even in a card?

Well … I guess you’re right. It would be a little embarrassing.

Tell you what, suggested Carol, You make up a card in the shape of a heart that opens and on the outside you have, ‘For you Valentine’, and then the card is opened and on the left it says, ‘I have two tickets for the Valentine’s Day dance this Friday’ and on the right it says, ‘Let’s share a wonderful evening and make a memory that will last a lifetime.’

I love it! exclaimed Jennifer.

Might be an even more memorable evening if, instead of the ‘Making a memory’ part you substituted ‘Make a baby.’

Honestly Ellen! Must you always think the worst?!

Well, maybe not always, but I try for most of the time.

Jennifer ignored her. Paper! I need paper, and scissors, and maybe some glue, and do you have a red pen around her somewhere?

Ellen sighed, How embarrassing that it should be I who winds up contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

It might be worse, consoled Carol, If she’d gone with your suggestion to make a baby.

There followed a period of rummaging about for materials, cutting, pasting, making mistakes and starting again, of disagreeing and agreeing and finally, after work, effort and plenty of giggles the masterpiece was prepared. They all agreed it was a work of art worthy of being placed in a museum. Instead it was to be placed in Greg’s locker.

On Monday the girls made it a point of being early and they immediately hurried to it.

Um, said Jennifer pausing, Which one is Greg’s?

Jeez, he’s your boyfriend and you don’t even know where his locker is? said Ellen, It’s number one-hundred-and-sixty-seven.

Are you sure? asked Carol. I thought it was one-sixty-one.

Actually, said Jennifer, I’m pretty sure it’s one-sixty-five.

Oh dear, what are we going to do now?

Yes, it’s pretty much too late to make copies and put one in every locker in the school.

Honestly Ellen, I have no intention of inviting every boy in school to the Valentine’s Day dance!

Just a thought. Besides, I said it was impractical.

So what are we going to do now?

We could wait and you could just give it to him when he comes in.

That would look rather silly wouldn’t it?

Probably, but it’s better than making a mistake.

Yeah, but I really don’t want to just hand it to him. It would be embarrassing.

Look, he’s going with you to the dance. You’re taking him so how embarrassing could it be to just hand him the letter?

I don’t know. It just is.

Okay then leave it on his desk in home room.

Everyone would see!

They’d just see the envelope. They wouldn’t open it.

Yes, but when he came and opened it they’d all look over his shoulder to find out what was going on.

Let them look!

No! It’s embarrassing!

Honestly Jennifer, everything embarrasses you.

I can’t help it. It’s just the way I am.

Look, someone’s bound to pass by sooner or later. We’ll just ask which locker belongs to Greg.

Suppose someone doesn’t come; or suppose Greg comes first?

He probably won’t. I mean he’s never late for school or even close, but he’s far from the first one to arrive in the morning. He’s more or less in the middle.

I guess we could wait but really I’m pretty sure it’s one-sixty-five. Do you guys really feel sure about what you said?

Well, no, admitted Carol, It just seemed to be around one-sixty-one. Ellen, are you sure you didn’t look at a seven and remember it as a one?

I might have. I mean it’s possible. But isn’t it just as possible that you looked at a one and mistook it for a seven?

Yeah, I guess it is. This is so confusing.

I know, said Carol, We all saw his locker when he forced us to come to get Bailey. Why don’t we go back to the cafeteria and walk here as if we were being forced and when we get here we’ll probably head straight to the correct locker.

Both Jennifer and Ellen were a little dubious but decided that the plan was worth trying. They walked to the cafeteria.

Not open yet, sighed Ellen.

Well you can’t expect it to be. The day hasn’t even started so it’s hours and hours before lunch.

They could start serving breakfast.

Didn’t you have breakfast before you left for school this morning?

Well, yes, but that was a long time ago.

It couldn’t have been more than an hour!

A growing girl can get hungry in an hour.

You’re going to get fat!

Not as long as I keep running I won’t. I need the energy to support my sport.

Think what’s going to happen to you the minute you stop running.

Well I’ll just have to eat less.

Uh, uh, you get into the habit of eating a lot and it’s a hard habit to break. Haven’t you seen pictures of professional athletes who retired? They almost always get these big bellies on them.

Well I’ll face that after I retire. At the moment I’m still a growing girl and I’m hungry.

Don’t worry. Lunch will be here in another three hours and forty-five minutes.

You provide such consolation.

Come on you two. Let’s walk back now with our heads down and turn just where we think we did last time, said Carol.

Once again they walked through the halls looking for all the world as if they were being marched to their doom; although this time they didn’t have an irate Greg following their every step. When they came to the lockers they walked along the row and then turned as one. They were standing in front of locker one-sixty-five.

I was right!

Well I suppose so, conceded Ellen. It still doesn’t feel quite right to me. I mean the difference between one-sixty-five and one-sixty-seven is so close we may have made a mistake.

Well I think we can rule out one-sixty-one, said Carol. When we walked I felt we were turning in about the right place.

Still we really don’t want to make a mistake, said Ellen.

Just then, Steven Haines, came hurrying along the hallway.

Hey Steve! sang out Ellen barring his way. Do you know which locker Greg has?

That one, replied Steve indicating the locker in front of them. Then he hurried off.

Good, said Jennifer, That’s settled then. We were lucky that Steve came along before Greg.

Carefully so that the envelope didn’t get squashed she inserted it into the crack between the