1000 Amazing Jokes

You South Africa

Article

Chuckles

May 12, 2023

The owner of a large factory decides to make a surprise visit to check up on his staff. As he walks through the plant, he notices a young man doing nothing but leaning against the wall. He walks up to the young man. “How much do you make a week?” he

You South Africa

Article

Chuckles

Apr 30, 2021

Eight-year-old Tess gets home from school where she attended her first sex-education lesson. Her mother asks,“How did it go?” “I nearly died of shame!” she answers. “Why?” her mother asks. Tess says, “Khumo from down the road says the stork brings ba

You South Africa

Article

Chuckles

Aug 13, 2021

■ Question: What word has the most letters in it? Answer: Mailbox. ■ Question: What did the pen say to the pencil? Answer: So, what’s your point? ■ Question: How do you email a fish? Answer: Get it online. ■ Question: Why should you carry cookies in

You South Africa

Article

Chuckles

Mar 11, 2022

Two roaches, Tom and Oscar, are hanging out next to a rubbish bin enjoying a snack. “Hey, Tom,” says Oscar to his friend. “You know that restaurant down the block? I went there yesterday to pick up some scraps, and I couldn’t believe how clean it was

You South Africa

Article

Chuckles

Sep 17, 2021

■ “I’m sorry” and “I apologise” mean the same thing . . . except when you’re at a funeral. ■ I intend to live forever . . . or die trying. ■ We never knew he was a drunk . . . until he showed up to work sober. ■ A clear conscience is usually the sign

You South Africa

Article

Chuckles

Jan 14, 2022

A paediatric nurse enters the examining room to give little Lucy an injection. Immediately the little girl starts screaming, “No! No! No!” “Lucy,” her mother scolds, “that’s not polite behaviour.” At that, the girl continues to scream, “No, thank you

You South Africa

Article

Chuckles

Dec 23, 2021

Customer: Waiter, waiter! There’s a slug in my salad. Waiter: Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t know you were a vegetarian. Dan’s boss calls him into his office. “We both know you’re not the brightest spark here, Dan,” he says, “but over the past five yea

You South Africa

Article

Chuckles

Dec 2, 2022

A snail goes to buy a new car at a dealership. The salesman is surprised when the snail picks out a very fast and expensive sports car. He’s even more surprised when the snail requests that a big red “S” be painted on both sides. “Why would you want

You South Africa

Article

Chuckles

Aug 6, 2021

Fancy yourself a joker? Email original jokes to chuckles@you.co.za or send them to Chuckles, YOU, PO Box 7167, Roggebaai 8012, and we may publish them on this page. ■ Patient: Doctor, doctor, come quickly! I think my wife’s appendix is going to burst

You South Africa

Article

Chuckles

Feb 18, 2022

Fancy yourself a joker? Email original jokes to chuckles@you.co.za or send them to Chuckles, YOU, PO Box 7167, Roggebaai 8012, and we may publish them on this page. A woman is going through a tough time: She’s lost her job, her family and all her mon

You South Africa

Article

Chuckles

Jan 21, 2022

■ What do you call an ant who fights crime? A vigilante! ■ Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because she was stuffed. ■ What did the microwave say to the other microwave? Is it just me or is it really hot in here? ■ Why did the student eat hi

You South Africa

Article

Chuckles

Feb 11, 2022

Fancy yourself a joker? Email original jokes to chuckles@you.co.za or send them to Chuckles, YOU, PO Box 7167, Roggebaai 8012, and we may publish them on this page. Sue’s husband, a scout leader, gets sick. Though she’s never been camping before, she

You South Africa

Article

Chuckles

Dec 31, 2021

A husband is trying to prove to his wife that women talk more than men. He shows her a study which indicates that men use about 10 000 words per day, whereas women use 20 000 words. The woman tells her husband that women use twice as many words as me

You South Africa

Article

Laugh A Little

Feb 12, 2021

Man: Did you hear about the famous artist who was arrested last night? Friend: No, I haven’t. What happened? Man: They’ll release him today – they discovered he’s been framed. Two guys are out drinking when one of them falls off his bar stool and lie

You South Africa

Article

Chuckles

Apr 9, 2021

Little Johnny is eager to help when his parents entertain several dinner guests. When the dinner is nearly over, Little Johnny goes to the kitchen and starts serving the dessert. He proudly carries in a piece of milk tart, giving it to his father, wh

You South Africa

Article

Chuckles

Dec 22, 2023

A man is getting into his Porsche. While his hand is on the door handle, a motorcycle comes flying down the road. The man jumps out of the way and the motorcycle crashes into the open door, tearing it off the vehicle along with the man’s hand, which

You South Africa

Article

Laugh A Little

Sep 4, 2020

A man is driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cellphone and in a worried voice says, “Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio there’s a madman driving the wrong way on the R24!” Herman says, “I know! It’s not just one, there are hu

You South Africa

Article

Laugh A Little

Sep 11, 2020

Question: When should you stop for a glow worm? Answer: When he has a red light! Question: If a wizard were knocked out by Dracula in a fight, what would he be? Answer: Out for the count. Question: Why did the witch give up fortunetelling? Answe

You South Africa

Article

Chuckles

Jan 28, 2022

A photographer is hired to take pictures at a lawyers’ convention. To make sure he takes professional shots, he lines up his subjects then gets them to look their best by shouting, “OK, everyone say, ‘Fees!’” Three men are on top of a hill holding th