Danni To Pieces; Shaded: Danni To Pieces, #2

Chapter 1

Renovations

The next couple months flew by with all the usual things and I welcomed the quiet. I was able to relax, after an adamant lecture from my doctor regarding my blood pressure. Who knew I had high blood pressure? Mike assured him I would take it easy. That made me laugh since slowing down was hard for me. Dad and I buried ourselves in the studio getting so much new music done. Mike had helped where he could, and even Mark was around more. I even managed to finish the movie soundtrack I had been working on. Then I flew to Memphis to complete my work with another up-and-coming country singer. Things were slowly falling into place.

Mike, Mark and Dad took me to Hawaii the weekend of Collin’s wedding, just to try to help me not think about it. It worked. I remembered why I liked vacations with them.

It was now almost October, and I was around five months along. I was getting a little crabby because nothing was fitting as my stomach kept getting more round. Mike took me shopping and got me big girl pants as he called them. I called them horrible. Mark had already started turning Daniel’s room into a nursery. He was ecstatic when I told him he was going to be a dad, too. The baby was bringing Mike, Mark, and I much closer together.

The bar was a sore subject for me these days. I strongly regretted signing partnership papers when they had been here for Mike’s wedding. I had tried to buy out Daniel and Collin through Nick, my attorney. He wasn’t having much luck, and both of them rejected the offer. I couldn’t understand why. I had offered what they paid for the building and ten percent more, and they both said no, twice. Thankfully it was all done through attorneys, so I didn’t have to deal with them. I was surprised how easy everything seemed without either of them, even though I thought about Daniel all the time.

The construction crew had knocked down the wall between the buildings, and it made the bar twice as big. We moved the bar into the hardware building and made the stage bigger. I couldn’t look at it and be happy. I just wanted Collin and Daniel to take my offer and walk away.

We were planning a grand reopening at the end of October, and I decided I wanted to play with the house band that night. Dad and his band offered, too, and I was so excited to be on stage with him again.

The only things everyone appeared to worry about was my blood pressure and my growing belly, and how it would fit behind a guitar. Mike and Mark were thrilled when we found out it’s a boy. They were already working on a nursery at their house, too. They had even decided Mark was going to quit his job and be a stay at home dad.

Mark was the happiest dad-to-be I had ever seen. He checked my blood pressure every day and made sure I didn’t overdo it; he was a very hands-on nurse. I knew the baby was going to be in good hands.

I had promised my dad one thing, and I was regretting it quickly. I had told him I would come to a music award show and play with his band. No pressure at all. It was their new single that I had written after Collin left me the way he did. Not the nicest song I had ever written, but Dad insisted it was very powerful. Being on stage was okay with me, but learning that I had to participate in the interviews freaked me the hell out, especially now that I was noticeably pregnant.

I had done my homework and found out Collin, and his band was presenting an award there, too. I tried to back out with no luck. Promotions were already being aired, and I was in them. My agent was thrilled I was finally putting myself out front more, instead of hiding in the background. The magazine article had come out, and suddenly he had been flooded with work offers for me. Everything from acting, modeling, hosting, and stupid reality shows. Besides a couple hosting events for charity, I turned most of them down.

Although this didn’t stop the media, and my pictures were circulating all over the place. Many shots were from around town, so we knew to lay low after one paparazzi caught me leaving the gym. Thankfully, I had been wearing a sweatshirt to hide my baby bump. The photographer had the nerve to try to question me about Collin and Daniel, wanting to know if we had a falling out. I ignored him and left.

I argued with Dad one day about not wanting to do the show because I was pregnant and people would notice. He was adamant that he had that covered. That scared me more.

Mike and Mark assured me that all would be well at home. Me not being there would give them a chance to paint the nursery. I couldn’t argue with that.

The day arrived, and I was dragged to Los Angeles for the show. I was amazed by the sea of buses and started feeling sick. This was such a bad idea. Mark was calling every hour to check up on me. I assured him the baby was moving, and I was trying to stay calm.

As we got off the bus to walk around I was approached by two huge guys asking if I was Danni. I nodded, not sure what was going on, and they explained that they were my bodyguards for the day. Of course, Dad had given them orders to keep certain people away from me.

I had put on my baseball cap with my hair tucked under it, jeans, and a loose-fitting flannel shirt. I was trying to make my belly a little less noticeable, even though my dad told me I hardly looked pregnant. My stomach was round compared to my usually flat stomach, so it was noticeable, he was just nice.

We walked inside to the backstage area of the main auditorium, and it was filled with hundreds of people working to get ready. Dad grabbed my hand and said we were up next. I wanted to run away. Our turn came to take pictures. It wouldn’t have been so bad, but there was so much media around, it was hard not to be noticed as their intended target as they started throwing questions at me. I smiled and kept my mouth shut. I stood at Dad’s side as Uncle Tony remained on my other side. His jacket hung loose and shielded me. He was a lifesaver. The rest of the band knew the situation and tried to help me be less noticeable, as well.

After pictures, we stood against the wall waiting for interviews to begin. The seats were full as many artists stuck around to watch interviews. I looked through all the pictures from the day posted on the walls, and there they were. Dark Pieces had been labeled the top rising band to watch. It was hard to see Collin in the picture with that wedding ring on his finger. I wanted to make him feel as bad as he had made me feel.

I couldn’t help myself and asked someone if they had a marker. I located a red one and Dad laughed when he saw I was drawing a clown face on Daniel. I hoped Daniel would know who did it, and the thought of the expression on his face made me smile. I missed him so much.

Come on, Dad said as we walked up on the stage with the press and other musicians. I wanted to throw up more as they handed me a mic. My heart was going a hundred miles an hour as I had to walk to the center to sit in one of the leather chairs facing the crowd and cameras. Dad had warned them in advance they couldn’t ask any personal questions. It was unbelievable how people listened to him.

They motioned that we were on as Dad settled in beside me as the host started talking. I tried to pay attention, but I kept looking down. Dad would squeeze my hand to remind me to smile and look up. They all mostly talked about the new album, and I watched Dad respond to all the questions before he turned toward me.

My daughter, Danni, wrote most of this album. She has come a long way with her writing, and I am proud she found a little more emotion to put in her music.

Dad put his hand on mine because I was tapping it nervously on my knee. I tuned in more hearing the host ask, Danni, what inspired you to write these songs with more of an edge than you are used to?

I felt everyone look at me and sensed myself turning red. I responded nervously and said, "I tried something new this time with my writing. I had the unfortunate experience of seeing firsthand how horrible life can be. That quickly showed me how dark the world can be. So I evolved, and it came out in my songs, whether I meant it to or not, I can’t say. I guess this time around I just didn’t care what the listener wanted to hear, or what the label wanted. I said what I needed to say. If it offends people, well, I won’t apologize for that. Anger is a very strong emotion, and right now I am just trying to work my way through it."

My dad looked at me and mouthed well done. As he winked at me as the crowd applauded. I saw most of them rise out of their seats to give me a standing ovation. I hated being that girl who got raped. It was nothing more than pity, and I loathed them for it.

The host went on to say, I understand you’re playing on stage with your father tonight. You’re even going to sing. You don’t do that very often. Are you nervous about that?

I thought for a minute and grinned and said, I am extremely nervous about that, but I play to a bar full of people almost every weekend, and at least here they won’t grab my ass.

Everyone started laughing as I turned even redder seeing the camera move closer to me. They asked my dad more questions before it was finally over. I handed the mic back as I stood up and the security guards were next to me telling me to get going quickly. I saw Dad talking to someone at the back of the stage before the two bodyguards escorted me back to the bus.

A couple of minutes later Dad and Uncle Tony came on the bus. Dad looked irritated as he sat down by me.

What happened, Dad? I asked nervously.

He smiled at me and said, Sorry, just a little hiccup. It’s all better. Don’t worry about anything.

An hour later we went to the food tent. The guards followed us closely, and it was a little unnerving. The food was excellent, and I couldn’t believe all the famous people I saw. It ended way too soon when the guards grabbed my arm and told my dad that our sound check was up next, and we needed to head down there. We walked over as I complained how far it was and my dad started laughing saying, You run five miles every day, and you can’t walk four blocks.

I frowned at him and said, Point taken, old man.

After rehearsal, I went back to the bus to lie down for a while. Dad stayed and did some more interviews. I managed to take a three-hour nap before Dad was there, telling me to get up and get ready.

After a visit to hair and make-up, I finished getting ready on the bus. I put on the black one-shoulder shirt that was loose so you couldn’t see my belly. He let me wear white, holey jeans, but the trade-off was the shoes. Ugh, I had to wear very high heel boots. I despised the stupid things. They hurt my toes, and I am sorry to say, no, they didn’t make me feel sexy. They made me feel uncoordinated and dangerous.

Standing on the stage waiting for the curtain I thought I was going to throw up as I rubbed my belly trying to calm both of us down. It felt like the baby was doing somersaults in there. I knew it was my nerves. You’re up, a stagehand said behind me. Dad blocked my exit as he grinned at me, knowing I wanted to make a run for it.

I was singing my new song I had written a couple of months back, and I was center stage with Dad off to my right as the curtain went up. I heard them announce us, and I knew it was too late to run now as the music started.

I didn’t get to play guitar on this song, so I had nothing to hold onto except the mic stand. I closed my eyes and focused on the moments I had managed to get with Collin. I sang my angry song about all the what ifs and found myself opening my eyes to look around. I got into the song as I moved around the stage and showed my anger as I sang. We managed to get a standing ovation, and my dad hugged me. A stagehand brought me my guitar, and I put it on. Now I got to watch my dad sing the not-so-nice song I had written about the damage I had planned on inflicting on others.

My dad asked the crowd, Do you ever think of the consequences others feel when you hurt someone? Well, Danni has thought about it a lot. She wrote the lead song for our new album.

The crowd roared as he motioned for me to come to him. I did while trying to stay in rhythm. I played right alongside him as he sang the hateful words I wrote out of all my anger. He sang it exactly as I had heard it in my head that night in the studio. We played our guitars by each other during the heavy parts and tossed it back and forth. This moment was exactly why I played guitar.

Soon the curtain came down and everything happened quickly as they got us to our seats and the latest hip hop artist did his show on the other stage. Dad and his band were being presented an achievement award in the next segment. Finally, we sat down, and I needed to sit for a while.

A video montage about my dad’s career began with some old pictures I had never seen and more current ones from the bar. It was cool to look at all those pictures I had forgotten. I suddenly cringed feeling a sharp pain in my lower belly. I knew the baby had had enough excitement and that I needed to get out of there. Mark had drilled it into my head that when this happens, I need to lie down right away. My blood pressure could trigger early labor. I knew right at that moment that my blood pressure was sky high.

The host called Dad and his band to the stage. I stood up with him and hugged him. I whispered to him, The baby is mad, so I am going to go lay down.

He stared back at me refusing to let go of my hand and just pulled me on the stage with him. I could tell he was trying to stay calm. I stood in the back attempting to relax when a sharp pinch got me. I tried not to bend over or hold my belly as a presenter beside me quietly asked, Are you okay?

I need to get out of here like right now, I said through clenched teeth.

He grabbed my elbow and said, Let’s go, as we turned around and he showed me where to go to leave the dark stage.

I sat down just trying to relax in the first available chair when another sharp pinch got me, and I couldn’t help but let out a choice word. My dad had just walked backstage at that moment and hurriedly told them to get the paramedics.

Great, Dad, leave it up to you not to overreact, I grumbled to him as he crouched down in front of me.

He looked scared as he started rubbing my belly. He felt it this time as his eyes went wide and I cringed.

I think maybe we should go to the hospital, baby girl, he said as a crowd was beginning to gather around us.

A paramedic showed up right then, and I was kind of glad. Dad told them everything as they started checking me out. I laughed when Dad handed his phone to the paramedic and said, Her nurse, Mark, wants to talk to you now.

"This is soooo not necessary," I mumbled.

The paramedic said, Your blood pressure is dangerously high.

I agreed to go to the medical tent and no further. I can walk too, I insisted, as we made our way down there. I let them look me over, and they determined that I was just dehydrated. They stuck a tube in my arm and told me to lay back and relax.

Twenty minutes later it was working. I was feeling better when I heard the guard yelling at someone.

You can’t go in there. Get back or we will remove you.

There were so many voices yelling. I couldn’t tell what was going on. I tried to tune it out. It sounded pretty intense before it moved away from the tent.

About an hour later they finally let me go. I did feel calmer. I just wanted to get some sleep, and I was grateful we were heading home. The guards were walking me back to the bus, and it was dark, so I was holding onto one of them.

Danni, is that you? I heard in a way-too-familiar voice as I looked over and saw Rick standing with two half-naked girls. Great job tonight.

I saw him look down at my belly, and I prayed it was dark enough he wouldn’t notice as I just kept walking.

I stepped on the bus and Dad was waiting. He stood up and hugged me and said, I’m glad to see you feeling better. I am sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you to do this.

Dad, I promise I'm all right, I said, sitting down.

Half an hour later we were preparing to head out as the lights turned down and the driver said we were next in line to leave.

Suddenly there was a loud banging on the door that wouldn’t stop.

Baby girl, go to the back and close the door now, Dad said, pushing me toward the back.

I was scared enough to do what he asked. I closed the door behind me and just sat on the bed when I heard yelling.

Daniel, she is not here. Please get off the bus. We are trying to leave, Dad said much nicer to Daniel then he would have been to Collin.

I heard Daniel’s sweet voice asking, Is she pregnant? I have to see her. I miss her.

I knew that if he knew, Collin knew. I couldn’t do that yet.

Dad said, She already left. Get off the bus. We are holding others up.

I put my hand over my mouth because I didn’t think I had ever heard my dad lie before. I wanted to tell Daniel about the baby and to see him with all my heart, but I knew I couldn’t do that to myself anymore. I heard Dad tell the driver to get us out of here.

Dad knocked on the door and came in and sat beside me, How are mom and baby doing?

I answered, We are tired.

Dad put his hand on my belly and said, Yes, things are calm now and are going to stay that way, aren’t they my little grandson? Take care of your mama.

I smiled at how much he got a kick out of talking to the baby. I truly adored my dad.

I am sorry to make you lie, Dad, I said quietly.

It broke my heart to lie to Daniel about you. I can see how much he loves and adores you. I am also going to guess that now they know, and it won’t take long for Collin to figure out he is going to be a dad, Dad said. I could tell he was annoyed by the reality of who was the biological father of his grandson.

Chapter 2

Sticky and Dirty

I hit the button on my laptop to watch it again, for the fourth time. I just couldn’t believe he would do that. Mike was standing behind me begging me to turn it off, as I started listening to the lyrics again, shocked. Collin’s band Dark Pieces had just released their new song. It was called Damages and listening to the words; it was very clear who it was about. The lyrics were about rough sex, whiskey, drugs, and a girl being an easy target.

The song was humiliating. I prayed Collin would never reveal who it was about because it was incredibly embarrassing. I wondered how Daniel had been part of such a horrible and hurtful song. Maybe after what had happened at the award show, he hated me, too.

Mike reached over and closed my laptop, saying he was sorry. He then kissed my temple and took my laptop with him as he left the office, closing the door behind him. I sat back in my chair thinking, perhaps too much, as I got a small kick. I put my hand where the baby had kicked, and he pushed back on my hand. That made me grin like an idiot and helped me think about something else. I said out loud to the baby, I hope you don’t hate me when you get older because I walked away from your dad.

I noticed my phone vibrating and looked to see who it was. I sighed in frustration seeing it was Nick. I hoped he finally had good news for me. I was making a third attempt to buy out Collin and Daniel. I picked up the cell as Mark walked in to check my blood pressure. I smiled at him and answered my phone.

During our ten-minute conversation, Nick explained that, once again, they refused the offer. I asked what it was going to take, and he went on to say he asked them both that and neither would answer the question. Nick thought we should wait a couple more months and try again, and I agreed reluctantly.

Dammit, I said as I put my phone down. I wondered why they wouldn’t take it, be done, and let me have my bar back. I hadn’t seen or talked to either of them in six months, and the only thing that came to the front of my mind was Collin’s voice calling me damages someone left behind. I closed my eyes so my tears wouldn’t fall again. I easily fell asleep. I was good at that these days.

I heard my office door open, and Mike tells me, Get your coat, we’re going to be late if we don’t go now.

I opened my eyes and just sat there in my own world trying to ignore him as he threw my coat at me, smiling like an idiot and said, Get up.

I don’t want to go, I whined. He and Mark were always a little too eager to take me to the doctor.

Too bad. Get up, baby momma. I want to see my son, Mike said, shrugging into his coat.

Fine, I grumbled as I stood up and started putting on my coat with him impatiently waiting for me. I took my time before he grabbed my arm and started leading me to the garage. He was smiling and calling me a big baby and that made me laugh.

He hadn’t missed one appointment, besides the first one when they told me I was pregnant. I think he enjoyed the appointments more than I did. We walked into the office, and I found a seat as he checked us in.

He asked if I wanted to guess how much weight I had gained and I just glared at him as he smiled wildly before looking away. I heard my name and saw the nurse standing at the door waiting for me. We both got up and followed her.

I took no chances on the scale. I took off my coat and my shoes, and handed Mike my purse, hoping for the best as I stepped onto the scale. I was surprised to see that I had only gained two pounds since the last visit. I had to do a little happy dance when Mike started laughing at me and told me to get going.

I went back to the room and got undressed, letting the doctor do his usual tests. I loved to watch the look on Mike’s face when the doctor used his fingers to check me. He would get a funny mashed-up look and close his eyes and turn away. It was unpleasant but totally worth seeing the look on Mike’s face. Next, the doctor did an ultrasound, and we got to see the baby moving around. He said the baby looked great and that we were right on target with my due date before he handed Mike, a bunch of pictures. I was thrilled to be due on Valentine’s Day. He was the perfect present.

The doctor gave me his regular lecture about my running and Mike assured him we were only running three miles a day now. I had even started taking one day off as I knew Mike was lying for me. He went on to say that the baby will let me know when he didn’t like what I was doing and to pay attention to that.

Walking out, Mike stopped at the desk and made the next appointment because he had seen me walk by and avoid it, hoping to put a few more weeks in between visits. We walked outside into the cold weather to get in the SUV. I turned the heat up full blast as Mike looked at his phone to read a text.

What is it, Mike? I asked as he held up a finger while he finished reading. The look on his face wasn’t happy. I repeated my question again.

Just stupid people, nothing that concerns you, baby momma, he said, pocketing his phone and changing the subject to food. Well, of course, I want food, that was always what I wanted these days. He was a master manipulator.

I nodded, still wondering what the text was. Tonight was the grand reopening at the bar after a delay due to plumbing issues. I was playing a set with my dad’s band and a set with my house band. It was going to be a big night, and I had been looking forward to it. Mike and I had both intentionally kept Daniel and Collin out of the loop regarding the bar. Neither of us wanted them to think they had an invitation to come. I hadn’t mentioned it to Nick either for that very reason.

We got back to the bar and Mike parked in front so I could head home and clean up. I got out of the