My Compass, Our Story: A Journey Through Death and Life
By Mike Russell
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About this ebook
Imagine not only demanding input from your recently deceased wife, but getting a response. This is the experience that led Mike Russell out of the complicated and harsh world of bereavement and into the process of discovering life again. Through the telling of this true story, he finds that there is life after death for himself, and he also finds the spiritual connections to a world unseen as he connects the dots placed in front of him.
This book will give readers who have lost someone to death a chance to reflect on their own stories while giving hope that there is indeed a way out of the darkness that humans have created around the subject of death and grief. The writings emerge from the deepest crevices created when death occurs and wonderfully unfold into life with the help of a deep and eternal love.
Follow Mike’s journey from the uncompromising yet truthful demand he made of his wife after her death, through his path to save himself. The journey is accomplished with the help of inspired input from sources outside of his normal thought process, along with the help of an Archangel and poetry inspired from his deceased wife, and personal messages that cover a two-year period of reflection. Grief is never an easy path to take, but this book will hopefully give grieving readers comfort as they move through the fog of uncertainty and into their own light through these heartfelt messages of love, forgiveness, pain, and humor.
Although written from the often-lost world of a man’s perspective, this book is for every adult who is grieving the loss of a family member or other loved one.
Mike Russell
MIKE RUSSELL spent twenty years in law enforcement and is currently the president of Mob Cop Productions, making films and other media about what he knows best. He is the author of Undercover Cop. He lives in Delray Beach, FL.
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My Compass, Our Story - Mike Russell
"The lesson to be learned from My Compass, Our Story is that if you do not bring forth what is within you it will destroy you but if you bring forth what is within you it will save you. Read on and prepare yourself for life."
~ Bernie Siegel, MD author of
A Book of Miracles and Love, Animals & Miracles
One man’s journey from heartbreak to healing told in a personal, conversational style. You get the feeling you are reading an unfiltered private diary. This book does not pretend to be a piece of great literature. But if you want to look through an open window into the heart and soul of a man trying to come to terms with loss, this book is perfect for you. Each of us will, in time, have to cross many of the same bridges the author has crossed in this book. He seems to know this and is gentle with the reader. I appreciated the book and found it to be an easy read covering a topic that has no easy parts.
~ Rev. Bob Luckin, DD
Mike Russell reminds us that when we feel torn apart, due to the death of a loved one or friend, must go through the various stages of grief. Through his experiences, insights, humor, connection to his beloved wife, Barb who died, and his poetry he weaves together a tapestry of love, truth, wisdom, and healing. This is a must-read for all who are grieving.
~ Sharon Lund author of
Sacred Living Sacred Dying: A Guide to Embracing Life and Death
"This is an important book. And not just for men, either. As I read, I saw that so much of the book’s wisdom also applies to women who find themselves in grief and not fully functioning. Further, I felt the book’s contents would be useful even if the adult who had passed was not a spouse but a parent, or a brother or sister.
"I found the poetry interspersed throughout to be beautiful and thought provoking; a pleasant surprise, considering I don’t normally choose to read poetry!
"In short, My Compass, Our Story is a worthy and valuable addition to adults grieving the loss of another adult."
~ Lynette M. Smith, author of
How to Write Heartfelt Letters to Treasure
Mike Russell’s writing is brave, authentic, inspired, descriptive, and peppered with sage advice for anyone healing from the loss a loved one. His lessons are insightful, wise, and touching.
~ Rev. Judy Winkler, president
New View New Life (a prison ministry)
MY COMPASS, OUR STORY
A Journey Through Death and Life
Mike Russell
My Compass, Our Story
A Journey Through Death and Life
Copyright © 2017 Mike Russell
Smashwords Edition
"This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Cover design: Ardel Chisholm, LincMedia Design
Sacred Life Publishers™
SacredLife.com
Contents
Endorsements
Dedication
Foreword by Steve Arndt
Introduction—My Compass
Chapter 1—First Steps
Poems
Inspired
You Are
The Compass
I Found God Within
Finding Love
Two Souls
Theme Song
Walking Backwards
Chapter 2—Men Don’t Cry
Poems
Stop-Sign Tears
Second Guesses
Quiet Peace
Where Are You?
Chapter 3—Tackling Yourself
Poems
Tackling Ghosts
Slow Treadmill
A Need to Be Sad
Chapter 4—The New Normality
Poems
Freedom
The Leaf
Life and Death
Hope
Leaving
Chapter 5—The Dreaded Question
Poems
Direct Connect
The Veil
The Path
Chapter 6—The Silence
Poems
What Now?
Softly
Long and Short
A Day in Time
To Remember
Chapter 7—Unexpected Strength
Poems
Silence
Some Days
Catharsis
Talk to the Wind
Chapter 8—Different but All the Same
Poems
The Puzzle of Life
Does It Matter?
Purpose
Chapter 9—Bravery
Poems
You Tried to Tell Me
Live
Chapter 10—Out of the Cave
Poems
Spirit
So Much Time
Remember
Chapter 11—Into the Parade
Poems
One Step
Being at Peace
Chapter 12—Unexpected Paths
Poems
Peace Blanket
Companion
The Burden
Scents
Chapter 13—Taking Stock
Poems
The Gift
Eternally
Peace
Chapter 14—Surviving the Twists and Turns
Poems
Thank You
Searching for Peace
Lights
Another Time
Chapter 15—The Voice of Reason
Poems
Words
The Trip
Street Corner Sobriety
You Are with Me
Chapter 16—Those Little Moments
Poems
Transformation
Synchronicity
Eagle
Past and Future
Chapter 17—Connecting and Reflecting
Poems
Mist
Happiness
Being Lost
Weight
You Know Someone Loves You
Chapter 18—The End and the Beginning
Final Quote From Archangel Raphael
Acknowledgments
About the Author
I would like to dedicate this book to the memory of Barbara Grace Russell, whose soul purpose was to create a nuclear family through which she could use her talents of organization, encouragement, and direction. Her love resides within all her family and will extend out through the generations. She was there for me when I needed it most, and through her spiritual communication, she helped lead me out of the fog of grief. Thank you, my loving friend and partner.
Foreword
My relationship with Mike Russell began more than thirty-five years ago, in the small community of Mt. Angel, Oregon. Mike was an up-and-coming banker, and I was the principal of the local grade school. Our families met and immediately began an enduring friendship that has spanned years of career moves, family additions, and life altering changes, including the death of a child and a spouse. Each of us deals with hard times in different ways, and Mike is no different. The book that Mike has written focuses on his spiritual, mental, and physical journey, and how he navigated life’s route, which was completely re-coursed after the January 2009 death of his wife, Barbara. He hopes people can use his book to assist them in their own life journey, especially when that passage suddenly takes an unwanted turn.
December is usually the time when people make resolutions based on what took place the prior year. I am sure at Christmas in 2008 Mike was busily formulating resolutions that focused on his family and his work, the wild and crazy mortgage market. According to the New York Times, the following were top five New Year’s resolutions that year:
1. Spend more time with family
2. Lose weight
3. Get fit
4. Quit a bad habit
5. Enjoy life more
December turned into January, and his 2009 resolutions were dashed with the unexpected death of his wife. Nowhere on the list was Deal with the death of a spouse
or Nurture six young adult children on one’s own
—both daunting scenarios made exponentially worse when working in tandem. Instead of focusing on resolutions, Mike was forced to face the stark reality that his wife, the mother of their children and the rock of their relationship, would no longer be the person he had been awakening beside each morning. While the rest of the world (or so it probably seemed to Mike) was trying to figure out how to spend more time with family, shed those few pounds, and find new ways to enjoy life, Mike was thrust into the unenviable position of widower, making him the sole decision maker, caretaker of teens still at home, nurturer of other young adult children, and breadwinner. Mike had little time for himself and for dealing with his own feelings, as the immediate needs and care of his family were more pressing.
Life does not come with an instruction book to see us through turmoil and crises. No amount of college courses taken for degree completion prepares a person for challenges faced when grave misfortune strikes. Mike has written this book to share his journey, in hopes that others can learn from his experiences. Yet he admits that no two people grieve the same way or at the same pace. In the Five Stages of Grief, it states people must go through the following steps when dealing with a life-changing event:
1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance
Mike writes that it took him almost five years to get through these stages—more years than many, yet fewer than some. Mike has a unique way of blending prose with poetry and uses life examples to illustrate how he learned to cope with the death of a spouse, regroup, and eventually recover. After coming to accept the hand put before him, with help of a spiritual angel, Mike has since embarked on a new path.
The journey to publish this guidebook began as a blog—a personal and therapeutic release for Mike. As the months passed, he slowly transitioned through the stages of grief, and the blog morphed into this book. It does not tell you how to survive a crisis; rather, it speaks to what he found as personal comfort and solace during his walk through this dark period. Mike knows the book is not intended to remove the difficult or bleak episodes from our lives but rather shed light on seeking a new and brighter