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    The Madly Insane Rantings Of Lord Aldrod Lunatichio
    The Madly Insane Rantings Of Lord Aldrod Lunatichio
    The Madly Insane Rantings Of Lord Aldrod Lunatichio
    Ebook36 pages30 minutes

    The Madly Insane Rantings Of Lord Aldrod Lunatichio

    By Stanley Bruce Carter

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    About this ebook

    A surreal journey through the depths of a madman’s mind, as a mysterious female visitor torments him with strange tales about ... a crafty shoeshine boy with a unique way of drumming up business, a fast-talking professor who hates marching bands, a pirate who digs up an astonishing treasure chest and then throws away the priceless contents, a young lady who enters a forbidden room in a gloomy mansion and discovers an incredibly detailed dollhouse with a deadly secret, and Cleopatra, whose passionate poetry inflames Marc Antony, with disastrous consequences.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherStanley Bruce Carter
    Release dateMar 13, 2017
    ISBN9781370032853
    The Madly Insane Rantings Of Lord Aldrod Lunatichio
    Author

    Stanley Bruce Carter

    Stan Carter lives in Bellevue, Nebraska. He has been in the newspaper business for nearly 30 years, serving as a reporter, copy editor, columnist, typesetter and paginator at various publications. He is the author of five novels published by Gypsy Shadow: "Petchy Maligula," "The Depraved Dances of Taram Zhod," "The Caskian Scandal," "The Extortions of Stiffani Voydalle" and "Kill My Husband."

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      Book preview

      The Madly Insane Rantings Of Lord Aldrod Lunatichio - Stanley Bruce Carter

      THE MADLY INSANE RANTINGS

      OF LORD ALDROD LUNATICHIO

      By Stanley Bruce Carter

      Smashwords Edition

      Copyright 2017 by Stanley Bruce Carter

      Lord Aldrod Lunatichio thrust the salad fork into his skull, puncturing the bone again and again, till he’d made an incision all the way around the top of his head. It took hours, but he had all the time in the world.

      He set down the fork and reached up, grasping the top of his skull and tugging it free. Some stringy yellow goop came up with it, but aside from that it was a very clean cut. He placed the skullcap on the old wooden table, which was covered with scratches made by a previous inmate with three-inch-long fingernails. They said the man tried to carve a triptych into the table top, depicting Jesus and the Forgotten Saints in three inspiring scenes from His travels in Jerusalem and Antioch, but to Lord Aldrod it just looked like scratches.

      He picked up a spoon and shoved it into his brain, scooping out a big chunk of gray matter, which he dumped on a plate, a cheap tin one the guards had given him and hadn’t bothered washing; it was still speckled with crumbs from a blueberry muffin a prisoner of war had received in a care package, back when the asylum served as an internment camp for the crews of captured dirigibles.

      Lord Aldrod picked up an almost-empty shaker of salt, sprinkled some of the dubious flakes on the chunk, cut off a bite-size bit with the spoon and placed it in his mouth. He chewed pensively. Swallowed.

      He wasn’t actually eating his brain, of course. That would be the act of a madman, or at least a cannibal, and Lord Aldrod was neither. He was consuming the dreadful tales inside his brain, tales a certain woman had inserted into his head with her forked tongue.

      Her name was Tattali Moanthistle and her visits had begun on Wednesday, right after breakfast. She wore a severe black dress with poufy sleeves and an outlandish hat and high-button shoes, and perched her bustle-bedecked butt on the edge of a chair the guard had brought in for her. Lord Aldrod did not rise on that occasion, but remained seated on his moldering pillow, the one stuffed with raven feathers and covered in red felt with yellow unraveling filigree along the edges that he picked at when he was bored.

      She brought a

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